Underestimated Too

by Jettie Woodruff

  “No. I’m afraid of doing that alone with you. If you’re making me do this, it has to be here.”

  The door opened and Deidra resumed her seat opposite me.

  I was surprised when Drew didn’t wait for Deidra to ask questions at all. He stood and walked to the window again, away from both our inquiring eyes. My pulse was rapid, anticipating what Drew had to say. It was something bad. I knew it was.

  “Michael took me under his wing and started teaching me everything there was to know about Callaway Jewels,” Drew began, staring out the window. “I wanted to be just like him. He was so strong and powerful with a distinct façade. People watched Michael when he entered a room. Women flocked to his side and bowed at his every command, not just any women, beautiful, goddess looking women. Maybe it was my age and the hormones, but I wanted to be just like him. I wanted women to treat me that way. Hell, I even wanted to treat women the way he did, not just women, everyone. He talked to everyone like they were mud on his shoes. I watched his every move, mimicked his walk, his talk, and even started dressing like him. Imagine that one if you will.” Drew snickered, turning to look at me. “I was thirteen, dressing in three thousand dollar O’Brian suits, Richelieu leather shoes, and Rolex watches. If Michael had it, I wanted it. I was the big man on campus. Kids at school worshiped me, and the more power I acquired the more I wanted. I even charged twenty bucks a day for stupid kids to wear my eight hundred dollar sunglasses for the day. By the time I was fourteen, I outgrew junior high. I didn’t fit in with those kinds of kids anymore. Michael took me out of school and sent me to Breakon Ridge, an all-boys school where I was surrounded by rich snobby boys just like me. I didn’t see my mother for three days after that day. Michael had locked her up when she argued that she didn’t want me in a private school. He didn’t care, it wasn’t up to her. And, of course, I wanted to do what Michael wanted me to do.

  ‘Locked up where?’ I was the one to ask Michael.

  ‘The gym,’ he sadly replied. I knew that was going to be Michael’s answer. I just needed to hear it for myself.”

  “Drew, did Michael hurt you?” Deidra interrupted Drew’s story.

  Drew looked at her, sliding his hands in his pockets. “No, he never hurt me. Why would you ask that?”

  Deidra held a straight face, staring him down. “When was the first time he didn’t hurt you?”

  Drew turned back to the window, standing quietly for what seemed like hours. “Michael took me to New York City. I spent the entire day right beside him, watching him negotiate and snake his way into three very lucrative stores. I’ve never seen a grown man so excited about diamonds. That man was obsessed. We ate in a restaurant right in downtown Manhattan on a rooftop, overlooking the entire world. I knew right that moment, I was going to be rich and powerful just like Michael.

  ‘You like this?’ Michael asked me.

  ‘Yes, sir. I sure do,’ I beamed. I was a fourteen-year-old business man, playing a very important role.

  ‘You do what I tell you to do, and keep your mouth shut when I tell you to keep it shut, and you’ll have all of this. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about money, power, and women.’

  ‘But you have my mom. What about her?’ I foolishly asked him.

  ‘I’ll always have your mother, but that doesn’t change the fact that a man has needs. You’ll learn that soon enough. Men have many needs, some different than others, but nonetheless, we all want pretty much the same thing.’

  I nodded, agreeing with everything he told me. I had no idea what I was agreeing with, I just knew Michael Callaway could do no wrong, not in my eyes anyway. His word was gospel, and he was the only one I needed to listen to. I would walk in his shoes someday. I was sure of it. Michael drank a lot that night. I sat alone most of the evening overlooking the city while he danced and spent money on beautiful women. We didn’t retire to our hotel room until almost two in the morning. Michael plopped his drunk ass to the white leather sofa and I retired to my room, exhausted. Stripping down to my boxers I crawled in and passed out cold.” Drew paused.

  I placed my hand over my mouth, listening to Drew describe life with my father. I knew what he was about to tell us. I knew it in my gut, and my heart was already breaking for him. . No. Please don’t let it be what I’m thinking it is.

  Drew continued, “I didn’t even wake up when Michael crawled in bed beside me. I didn’t wake up until I felt his hands, sliding through the elastic of my shorts.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I asked Michael, trying to move away from him.

  ‘Shhh, remember how I told you to do what you were told and keep your mouth shut? This is one of those times you keep your mouth shut,’ Michael reiterated. I was sure I’d never been so humiliated in my life. I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like I could defy him. He was Michael Callaway. I was afraid of him, of what he’d do to me or my mother, so I didn’t do anything. I lay there staring out the window into the dark night while my body reacted against my will and caved to the hands of Michael.”

  “Drew you can stop,” I offered. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this, not at all.

  Drew turned and looked at me. No, Drew looked through me. He wasn’t seeing me at all. He was in a dark place, recollecting things he’d tried to burry with my father and his mother.

  “That’s all he ever did. He never made me touch him. He’d just climb into bed with me and fondle me until I was finished,” Drew stated, turning back to face the alley below. “He still treated me like a king during the day, teaching me everything he could teach me about success. It wasn’t like he was hurting me, and he assured me over and over that as long as I let him take care of mine and his need the way he wanted, he’d always take care of my mother. I did what I needed to do to insure that. Michael changed things up a bit shortly after I’d turned sixteen. I walked into his office one afternoon with a beautiful strawberry blonde, sucking his dick. He was instantly pissed.

  ‘Get the fuck out!’ Michael demanded. I turned, quickly leaving him and the female I’d known as Valerie.”

  “How did you know her?” I asked Drew, forgetting that Deidra was even there. I didn’t feel like we were in the middle of a counseling session at all. I felt like it was just Drew and me. I wanted to go to him, hold him, and tell him I loved him. I didn’t do that. I knew he’d shut down, and as hard as it was to hear. I wanted to know. I wanted to know all of it. It was so surreal. Drew wasn’t the person I’d thought him to be at all. Yeah, he was strong and secure on the outside, but on the inside, I was sure he was a shattered mess. He had to be. What boy could keep all this bottled up and be okay? It instantly made me think about my own son. I’d kill anyone that hurt him.

  “Her husband was a big time movie director, traveling a lot, leaving her alone more than he should have. He and Michael were good friends. He sent a lot of rich, famous people to Michael for expensive purchases. Valerie was there a lot,” Drew answered.

  “And your mom?” I curiously asked, waiting for Deidra to stop me. She didn’t, she let us interact with each other without a word.

  “She knew. She couldn’t do anything about it. She made excuses for him, saying he was just a man with needs. She was still sure he was going to marry her. He’d never had any intentions of marrying my mother. Trying to convince her of that fact was like pulling teeth, not that I ever got the chance anyway.”

  “What do you mean?” I probed, confused.

  “You know how the house is. I didn’t plant all those cameras; Michael did. He could hear every word we said. He didn’t let us around each other much, not alone anyway. She came down for meals, looking like a million bucks. She escorted my father to all his parties and functions, playing the role of the perfect couple. You of all people should know how that is. You played it too, Morgan.”

  I only nodded, remembering the same dinner parties, with my arm looped through Drew’s, playing the flawless wife as well.

  “Mind if you fill me in t
oo?” Deidra asked.

  “Later, that’s getting a little ahead of time,” Drew countered, and she nodded for him to continue. “Valerie left shortly after I’d walked in on them. Michael was furious when he came looking for me. I’d never seen him that mad before.

  ‘Go to my office,’ Michael ordered, taking a call on his cell.

  I went to his office, bouncing around nervously, waiting for the unknown. I glanced at the computer screen, seeing my mother on his monitor, sewing. Why the fuck was she sewing? What the fuck was she sewing? I wondered, trying to occupy my mind.

  ‘Take your pants down, boy.’ Michael startled me, closing and locking the door behind him. I’d never done that in front of him. He’d always just crawled in bed with me. Hesitating he screamed for me to do it, now. I did. He moved his eyes down my scrawny sixteen-year-old body and removed his belt.

  ‘Bend over,’ he ordered.

  I took his blows from the belt, gritting my teeth, and reminding myself that I was a man, and I wasn’t going to cry. He couldn’t make me cry,” Drew spoke vehemently.

  “Drew, you were not a man. You were a boy,” I assured him.

  “SHUT-UP!” Drew yelled, turning to me.

  Deidra lightly shook her head, motioning me not to respond and for Drew to continue.

  Drew then calmly proceeded, “That became Michael’s next thrill; me messing up so he could bend me over his desk and humiliate me with his belt. He still visited me whenever he wanted at night but never spoke of it. I never mentioned it either. I did what was expected of me. I’ll never forget the first time I stood in front of a group of men and led a meeting. It was in the Chicago store. It was struggling and Michael had given me three months to come up with a plan and fix it. I did, leaving him and a room full of men overly impressed with me. I never felt bad at all when I was the one made to fire three employees and up the hours of three more. I felt powerful, prevailing, and unstoppable. I was on top of the world and nothing was stopping me.

  By the time I was seventeen, I could run Callaway Jewels, fire anyone without an ounce of remorse, and close a major deal better than Michael himself. I didn’t care about anyone, or anything. I only cared about the next big deal, how much money the stores were making, and how much power I held over others. You think I’m cocky now, you should have seen me then.” Drew smiled my way.

  I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to hear more. Deidra stopped him after that. We’d already gone over our hour by ten minutes.

  “Have a seat, Drew.” Deidra nodded to the sofa beside me.

  Drew sat, reaching for my hand.

  “Let’s pick up here, next week. Are you going to be here?” Deidra asked, looking at Drew and not me.

  “Yes, we’ll be here.”

  “No, makeup or dark sun glasses?” Deidra posed it as a question to Drew.

  “No, she won’t need either. I promise,” Drew reassured her confidently.

  “Drew’s not coming home right away. He’s going to work at his office downtown for a while. I’m going to take a cab home,” I elaborated.

  “No, you’re not, and you’re riding with me. I’m fine.”

  I was a little scared to do that. I mean, Drew seemed fine. He didn’t seem angry at all. I would prefer going with him. I just didn’t know if it was a good idea.

  “Let’s set some ground rules. No talking about what we talk about here at home, okay?” Deidra asked, again looking at Drew. I knew why she didn’t want us discussing this at home. She wanted Drew right there where she knew he wouldn’t hit me. It was probably a safe move on my part, although I would have liked nothing more than continue this conversation at home.

  “Drew, I can take a cab. I kind of want to,” I pleaded, walking to the car with him.

  “No, Morgan. I’m fine. I promise. I want to be with you. I need to be with you.”

  “I kind of wanted to go somewhere. I didn’t want to go home yet.”

  “I have some time. I’ll take you.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I confessed.

  He stopped, pulling my hand to stop with him. “Where do you want to go?”

  “I want to go to the cemetery.”

  “To your father?”

  “He’s not my father,” I protested. I never wanted to be associated with that man—ever.

  “I don’t want to go there, Morgan.”

  “You don’t have to, Drew. Just let me take a cab. You can go home.”

  Drew groaned and turned me before opening my door. “This is why I didn’t want to do this. You don’t need to hear this stuff.”

  “I do, Drew. I want to know. I want to know it all.”

  Drew, softly kissed my lips and opened my door. I knew he didn’t want me to know what he’d been through. He felt like he needed to protect me from it, but I felt like the only way he was going to protect me was to get it out. I was sure that Drew would crack if he kept it bottled up much longer. I’d be the one to go down with him. It really wasn’t implausible to be a story in the Las Vegas Review or make the channel eight news for a murder-suicide. I could see it happening. I could see it plain as day.

  I texted Alicia in the car, asking if she could stay with Nicky for a while. Of course she could, only needing us back in time to get Vincent from school.

  Drew drove up the dry lane, leading to the same cemetery that we’d buried Randal in. We never walked around that day. We didn’t go any further than the air conditioned tent where a handful of people said farewell to Callaway. When he passed, Drew was doing everything in his power to win me over, keep me with him and away from Dawson. Both our moods were different then. This day felt more like a mournful day than that day did. Both our moods were sort of somber now.

  Holding my hand, Drew led me to the section where three graves lay side by side with matching headstones lined in a row. First was Michael, then Randal, and then Drew’s mother. That was the first time I’d even known his mother’s name. I was a horrible wife. I didn’t even knew her name. How could I not know her name?

  Chapter 8

  “Meredith Melissa Kelley,” I read out loud, looking at the photo of Drew’s mother placed in the center of the gray marble headstone. She truly was beautiful. Drew pulled me close with one arm, staring down at the remains of his mother.

  “She is beautiful, Drew. How could her mother let that happen to her?”

  “She was sick, just like my mom was.”

  “Are you sick, Drew?”

  Drew snickered, and kissed my forehead. “Probably. Are you?”

  I snickered too. “Probably.”

  “I really let her down.”

  “Drew, you were a kid.”

  “But I grew up. I could have taken her away from there. I could have gotten her away from him.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “She wouldn’t go. She loved him for whatever reason. She always made excuses for him.”

  “Would she have loved him had you told her?”

  “Come on, we’re not allowed to discuss this, remember?” he reminded me, moving down the line to Michael’s plot. I had a feeling she would have. I guess I was like Drew’s mom in some ways. No other woman in her right mind would love Drew after doing the things he had done. I loved him. I loved him more than anything. Maybe I was sick too, it wasn’t right. I shouldn’t love him.

  I stared down at Michael’s plot, feeling hate, bitterness, and anger at this man, not only for what he did to Drew, but my mother as well. He didn’t have to want me. He had millions. He knew about me. He could have paid her child support and not let me live that way.

  “Drew, let’s pee on it,” I blurted after a few moments.

  “What? No. You’re crazy.”

  “No, I’m not. Come on. Let’s do it,” I pleaded, unbuttoning my dress pants.

  “Morgan,” he protested, looking around the empty cemetery. “Stop it. You’re not pissing on Michael’s grave.”

  Standing there with my thumbs in my pants,
I smiled a sneaky smile and dropped them right in the middle of his grave. Letting it flow he laughed. He had to. It was funny as hell, and exactly what we needed at that moment.

  “You’re going to get us arrested.”

  “Nobody’s here. Take your dick out and piss on it.”

  “You really are crazy.”

  “I know. Do it,” I coaxed, standing and pulling up my pants. I turned and smiled at the wet spot, soaking into the dry Nevada ground.

  Drew released himself, aiming the straight stream right at the sophisticated face in the middle of the stone. I smiled, seeing the crooked grin on his face while his piss ran down Michael’s face.

  “Feels good, doesn’t it?” I asked, looking up to him.

  Drew shook the dribbles from his penis and put it away. “I guess so, but you’re still crazy.”

  I knew at that very moment, Drew and I were going to be okay.

  ***

  “Morgan, you’ve got to take him. I’ve got to be on this call in ten minutes,” Drew urged, walking into the kitchen with a screaming Nicholas.

  “I’m trying to cook. Put him in his highchair. I’ll give him some Cheerios,” I countered, turning back to stir my sauce.

  That didn’t work. Nicky arched his back and screamed louder. Turning the stove off, I took him from Drew.

  “We’re hiring a nanny, this week,” he resolutely informed me, leaving us alone to work.

  “We don’t need a nanny, do we, buddy?” I sang, dancing and bouncing a fussy Nicky.

  I did everything. I tried to feed him, give him a bottle, a warm bath, rock him, nothing made him happy. His little gums hurt, causing him to be miserable. I finally got him to settle down enough to finish cooking. Thank god he was happier after he’d woken from a short nap. I fed him his favorite sweet potatoes first and then a jar of bananas for desert. Drew was busy locked in his office with Celeste for hours. I didn’t think he was ever going to stop working.