Underestimated Too

by Jettie Woodruff

Drew paused and turned away from the window. “We said I love you before, but that was the first time she’d ever said it like that.”

  “Like what?” Deidra asked.

  “Like she’s looking at me right now. Like I am the only person she sees. Like her whole world is me,” Drew explained. “I struck her, forced myself on her and she was telling me she loved me. We were not okay. This was not okay.” Drew resumed his position at the window, facing the alley. “I kissed away her tears and pulled out of her, saying, ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.’ Letting go of her legs, she dropped them, and I held her wet body close to me while she clung to me hopelessly.

  ‘Please don’t stop, Drew,’ she begged, wanting me to make love to her.

  Pulling her up while our eyes stayed entranced, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I made love to her like I’d never done. She didn’t stop crying the entire time. It was the most emotionally fucked up situation I had ever known.

  Morgan never mentioned that night. She let me off the hook without making me feel worse than I already did. She even lied to Marta and told her she’d walked into a door with her nose in a book. Marta laughed, believing the lie to be the truth.

  I tried even harder to make her happy after that night. There were still plenty of times I fought the Drew I didn’t want to be. Morgan had a way of pulling me back in. Just her soft voice saying easy Drew was usually enough to remind me how delicate she really was. I often wondered what went through her mind. Was her life before the accident hidden somewhere in her subconscious? Some of the things she did made me believe that it was.”

  Deidra stopped Drew, asking me about being in love with him, how I felt different between him and Dawson. I took over, talked about being gone and what I had been doing while I was away. I didn’t mean to get so involved in my story and tried to remember how I felt when Drew talked about being in love with Skyler. I didn’t want to make him feel bad. I really didn’t think he loved her like I loved Dawson.

  “Dawson truly loved me,” I explained.

  “Dawson didn’t love you, Morgan,” Drew adamantly stated.

  “It doesn’t matter. We’re past that.”

  “Are we, Morgan? It’s been long enough, let’s talk about Dawson, or is there too much nostalgia there for you?” Drew hastily replied.

  “Fuck you, Drew. You don’t know shit about Dawson.”

  “You two are like fire and ice,” Deidra accused. “Drew, you can’t get mad at her for falling in love with someone when you did the same thing. And, Morgan, you’re not allowed to say fuck you to your husband, not here and not at home. Okay?”

  We both took deep breaths but didn’t respond. I wanted to move past the conversation of Dawson anyway. I wanted to hear more from Drew.

  “Good, so did things get better after you hit her that night in the shower?” Deidra asked Drew and not me, thank god.

  “I’m not sure what you mean by better. Was it any healthier? I doubt it. Is it better now? I don’t know, you’re the doc, you tell me. I know it was only a couple days later when my wife there started the next fight between us,” Drew nodded towards me.

  “Go on,” Deidra coaxed.

  “Derik and I had been in my office all morning on calls.

  ‘It’s lunch time, Derik. How about you go find some lunch or something?’ Morgan asked in a demanding tone, barging into my office.”

  I didn’t ask, I was telling him to get the hell out.

  “Derik retorted, ‘Yeah, why don’t you go back in the kitchen where you belong.’

  ‘Derik, just go home. We’re done here. I can finish this.’

  ‘Seriously, Drew? We have a conference call in twenty minutes. Callaway’s going to be on it. Did you forget that?’

  ‘I’d think you could figure out how to jump on a conference call anywhere in the world by now, Derik,’ Morgan smartly remarked with a tilted head.

  ‘Go, Derik,’ I ordered before he had a chance to say something else. He left, eyeing her with pure disgust from her bare toes to her eyes.

  ‘My god, girl. What are you doing? You can’t keep doing that. We’re trying to work here.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I guess I was bad, uh?’ she asked, sliding out of her shorts. My cock instantly responded when she bent over my desk, standing right beside me.”

  DREW! REALLY?

  “Rubbing her soft bare ass, ‘I really do have a conference call,’ I told her.”

  Ah man.

  “Morgan retorted, ‘Then you should probably punish me, quickly.’

  Standing, I brought my hand down, instantly leaving my print, marking my territory. She moaned as I rubbed the sting from her ass. Running my fingers through her wet pussy, I cracked her ass again and again, gaining moan after moan as my fingers teased her throbbing sex.

  ‘Is this what you want? You need me to spank you?’ I asked.

  ‘Hmmm,’ she moaned, backing her ass into my agonizing erection. Morgan spun around and lifted herself to my desk.

  ‘Go down on me,’ she beckoned, dropping her head. It was actually my new favorite thing to do. It had been since that first time she’d told me to do it. She’d knocked the wind out of me that day. I’d never tasted Morgan before that. I never had the desire to do that, now I couldn’t get enough of her taste, her scent, or her writhing hips beneath my mouth.”

  I wasn’t sure which I felt more, my wet pussy, or my crimson face. Why did he do this? He could talk about our sex life to Deidra like it was nothing more than a business meeting.

  “I warned her, ‘Morgan, I have a conference call.’

  ‘Then hurry up. It’s not going to take long. I promise.’

  What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I did as I was told, and she was absolutely right. She was calling out in ecstasy in seconds, not minutes.

  ‘Happy?’ I smirked, pulling her up and kissing her lips, coating them with her own juices.

  ‘Not completely.’

  ‘You have to sit here and be quiet for a few minutes. I have to get on this call.’

  ‘Go ahead.’

  How the hell was I supposed to lead a conference call with her naked on my desk? That wouldn’t be the problem. I no sooner dialed in when Morgan was on her knees, releasing my rock hard cock in her hand. I talked about the growth in the new Los Angeles store, trying to keep it together while my wife stroked my cock in her hand. I was leading a conference call with confidence, glancing to the numbers on the screen, then back to Morgan’s hand.

  ‘Derik, take over. Go to the week of the fifth graph,’ I ordered. I wasn’t okay anymore. Morgan’s fingers lightly squeezing my balls and her lips covering my head did me in.

  ‘I’m going to kill you,’ I promised as soon as I hit the silent button on my desk phone.

  ‘Want me to stop?’ she asked, looking up to me with seductive eyes and then dipped her head, taking as much of me as she could.

  ‘Oh, god. I swear you have no gag reflex.’ I moaned.

  ‘I don’t. You taught me that, remember?’

  ‘What?’ I asked when she stopped.

  ‘Why did I say that, Drew?’

  ‘Say what?’

  ‘Why did I think you taught me that?’

  ‘I don’t know. I probably teased you about it or something.’

  ‘No, it didn’t feel like that.’

  ‘Morgan?’ I questioned, wanting her to finish what she’d started, or let me get back on my call. I didn’t want her thinking about that. I didn’t want her to remember me forcing my dick down her throat, telling her I would teach her how to control her gag reflexes. I’d said it often. Thank god she put it aside and gave me one hell of a blow job.

  Those same memories consumed me too. I stood, holding her hair with one hand and stroking my cock with the other. She opened her mouth and waited, like she’d done it that way all along. I hadn’t done that since she’d been home, not like that anyway. It was out of my control. I saw the look in her eyes. It wasn’t lustful anymore. This
look was afraid. The one that I’d once loved to see on her face. The old Drew was winning. I couldn’t care about what was going through her mind at the moment. It was too late. I was past the point of return.

  “You ready, baby?” I asked, pumping my dick on her lips. She didn’t reply and kept her lips parted slightly, just like I’d taught her, like she remembered. And just like old times the first bout squirted to her lips. Massaging my come around her lips, I pressed into her mouth as the next shot entered her mouth. Morgan sucked me clean, just like she’d done a thousand times before and then turned away from me. I’d lost her. I’d lost her and me both. Why did this have to be so hard for me? Why couldn’t I just show her how much I loved her?

  ‘I’ll let you work,’ she timidly said, standing. I didn’t like timid Morgan anymore. I liked strong Morgan. The one that told me Marta wasn’t my maid and to pick up my empty glass or carry my own plate to the kitchen. The Morgan that barged into my office, demanding me to go down on her, that’s the Morgan I wanted. I kept fucking bringing it back. Over and over, I let my bastard self spill out, time and time again.

  ‘Morgan?’ I softly spoke with a remorseful smile.

  She weakly smiled back.

  ‘I’m fine. I’ll see you at dinner,’ she sadly responded, seeing herself out.”

  “Those were the days that I struggled to remember and forget at the same time,” I said, talking to Drew and not Deidra. Drew knew what I meant. Deidra wouldn’t.

  Deidra talked to us more about fixing things that day, if there was such a thing.

  “Tell me what your loneliness is, Morgan,” she requested.

  “What do you mean,” I asked.

  “When do you feel alone?”

  “I honestly don’t feel that way, at all.”

  “You have to feel something. What about after an incident? How do you feel after a fight or one of your issues with Drew?”

  “Drew is very attentive towards me after an episode. I don’t feel lonely with Drew. Drew is always with me, even when he’s not. Unless he is in the air, he can see me from anywhere in the country in any room of our house,” I explained.

  “Okay, let’s forget feeling lonely. How does it make you feel to know that he is always watching you? You don’t find that a little stalky?” Deidra prompted.

  I snorted. “Oh, I find it a lot stalky. Do I mind it? No, not at all. I’m used to it. Drew’s watched me since the first day I came here when I was eighteen. Drew’s seen me more exposed than anyone I’ve ever known,” I tried to explain to Deidra. How do you explain a love like ours? Nobody could understand it, and I wasn’t sure how to clarify it.

  “Nothing else matters,” Drew helped.

  I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant.

  Deidra didn’t. “What do you mean, Drew?”

  “I’m an imperfect man, and I’ve made my wife an imperfect woman. We’re just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. She will forever be my always.”

  Ahhh, I loved that. She will forever be my always. I would never forget those words as long as I lived, the way Drew looked at me when he said them or the emotion behind his eyes.

  Deidra gave us homework after that session, requesting that we both bring her a five item bitch list for our next visit. I was thinking more about what Drew would say than what I was going to say.

  Chapter 29

  “Morgan, look at the guy that just walked in here,” Alicia whispered across the table during lunch at our favorite little sandwich shop. I turned, doing a double take.

  “Wow, if I didn’t know Drew was an only child, I’d call him his brother. That’s a little scary,” I determined, looking at the guy who looked a lot like my husband. His physique wasn’t quite as strong as Drew’s and his hair was longer, but his facial features were haunting.

  “You sure Drew doesn’t have a brother,” Alicia asked.

  “I’m sure,” I stated. “What if he does? What if that guy really is his brother? Maybe Drew secretly sees him when he goes on trips, or talks to him in his office. What if he….” I rattled on and on.

  “Jesus, Morgan. I was joking. I’m sure that’s not Drew’s brother. You need to stop reading those books,” Alicia decided, taking a bite of her turkey club. I turned to see the guy putting on one of the brown aprons. Alicia was right. Drew’s brother wouldn’t be working in a place like that. I did need to stop reading those books.

  ***

  Drew and I spent three days at the beach house alone with Nicky. I loved Celeste, Alicia, and their two adorable kids. I was even a little disappointed when they didn’t want to come, too busy with the new house, new baby, and Vincent’s new obsession to learn to golf. After the first night I was glad it was just us.

  We ate supper with my mom. Drew, Jason, and Caroline looked for sea glass with baby Nick in a backpack on Drew’s back. I was so happy and in love with my family. Drew put Nicholas to bed while I showered, and then we sat out on the deck listening to the waves lap along the shore.

  “Come over here,” Drew requested, wanting me beside him and not in my own chair. I didn’t mind. The evening air coming from the ocean was a little nippy. Drew was warm.

  “Hmm, this is my favorite place to be,” I said, snuggling into Drew’s arms.

  “Where, the beach house?”

  “No, inside your hug.”

  I felt Drew smile on my forehead as he kissed me lightly. We talked for over an hour, just enjoying the conversation and each other’s company. We stopped talking when it almost turned into an argument. Drew was adamant about Nicky being homeschooled, I was not. I wanted him around other kids. We could wait on that one. He just turned one. We made love instead.

  I’m not sure how my brain worked, but that’s where it happened, right out of the blue, I thought of it while my husband slid in and out of me, making slow passionate love to me; the new guy at the sandwich shop. It could work. Nobody looks exactly like their driver’s license. Shit. I how was I supposed to get that from Drew’s wallet?

  “Are you still with me, Mrs. Kelley?” Drew asked, interrupting the scheme going on inside my head. “I don’t feel like you’re feeling me anymore,” Drew blamed.

  “Oh, I’m feeling you,” I teased with a kiss.

  ***

  I didn’t have to really lie to Drew about going into town. It just so happened that two of my favorite authors had books released over the next couple weeks.

  “That makes no sense to me. You have five electronic devises; you could buy the books and be reading them in two minutes. Why do you have to have the paperback?”

  “Because, Drew. I have all those beautiful shelves in there. I like to display them after I’ve read them. And I like reading to Nicky with an actual page and not something with a light behind it. Have you ever really looked at a book cover? It’s an art as much as the book itself.”

  “It’s not art, and Nicholas loves when I read to him from my tablet. The stories interact with him more.”

  “His parents should interact with him more. I’m just going to eat at Panino’s and stop at the book store and maybe the library.”

  “Why do you have to go to both? You know what? Never mind. Just go. I’ll see you in two hours,” Drew agreed, looking at his watch.

  Yes!

  I got one of the two books first, figuring I’d say they didn’t have the other one yet, needing an excuse to go again the following week. I wanted to scope this guy out, maybe talk to him or something. Once I’d checked out three novels and two baby books for Nicky. Taking the booth closest to the counter, I ordered my sandwich and an ice tea.

  I should have come sooner. All I got to do was watch him work. A lunch crowd entered, taking up all his time. Observing him, I watched him, speedily take orders, get trays, drinks, and repeat. Drew said two hours. I could stick around for forty minutes. Hopefully the crowd would dissipate by then. He didn’t sound like Drew at all. His pitch was a lot higher than Drew’s. He really didn’t look like Drew at all.
His nose was wider and his lips were thinner. Drew’s eyebrows were more stylish too, of course he paid someone to make them look like that. I wondered if he’d have a makeover to look more like Drew, have his eyebrows done and cut his hair like Drew’s. Sure he would, money talks. If I’ve learned anything about having money from Drew, it would be that money can buy anything, and I do mean anything.

  I wanted to search my phone about the regulations of having a deposit box at the bank. I didn’t know these things. Drew took care of that stuff. I didn’t dare do it on my phone. Drew would know. I didn’t search anything that he didn’t think I needed to go to. Like Facebook. He wouldn’t even let me join a book club where you could chat with people that liked the same genre of books as you. I could research a book or surf for new releases, but I couldn’t talk to someone about them.

  Thinking about not being able to do what I wanted without having my husband furious with me led me to thinking about our last appointment with Deidra. First, I thought about the way Drew controlled everything that I did. I knew he did it out of love and worried about me constantly. He blamed it on my two years of him not knowing where I was, but I knew it was more of a control thing. For whatever reason, Drew had to be in control of everything, and he was obsessive compulsive when it came to controlling me.

  Looking at the time on my phone, I knew I had to leave in ten more minutes in order to make Drew’s two hour rule. Drew’s twin did a good job rushing the long line through, maybe he could get the last two out of there long enough for me to order a gourmet coffee for Drew. Standing I gathered my things and got behind the last guy.

  “Can I get a large, butter toffee, premium coffee, please?”

  “Coming right up.” He smiled. That was it. His smile and his eyes; that’s why he looked so much like Drew. This could work. Couldn’t it? UGH! Was I stupid or what? Did I think I was going to be able to walk up to a perfect stranger and say what? Hey, how are you? Would you like to have a makeover, impersonate my husband, fraudulently open his safety deposit box, and maybe take a chance on going to prison? What was I thinking? Sure he’d do that, why wouldn’t he.”