She starts pushing me towards the door. “Nope, you have no rights here. Besides, what does it matter? Today it’s them, tomorrow it’ll be you or someone from your family.”
I give her my best smile, the one that I know puts my dimples on full display. “Not if you marry me. That would make you untouchable to everyone.”
“Nope, not happening. You need to leave, Zander, and don’t come back, do you hear me? I’d hate to call security.”
That’s when I had enough. I stop and get in her face. “Call them, sweetheart.”
With a tired voice, she says, “Please, Zander, just go. I don’t want to be mean, but I will. I’m going to say this one more time. I am not interested in you. I have a casino to try to save, and I will not be marrying you or anyone else to do it. I do not want to see you again until it’s time for you to collect, which I already know my options. So, thank you, but no thank you.”
She grabs my jacket and throws it at me, then opens the door. We stare at each other, then I decide fine, if she wants it this way, then I’ll give it to her. I leave, and she slams the door. Stupid, stupid. How could I be so fucking stupid for this girl?
28
Murphy
Once Zander leaves, I hug myself, knowing I’m the one becoming stupid when it comes to him. I just have to be careful not to let it show. I feel everything he says that he does when we kiss. It’s a draw I have never felt, something I didn’t think existed. A spark that stays burning long after we’ve separated. It’s a spark that I can’t help wanting more of.
Kyle sneaks up on me and begins questioning. “Are you realizing how much you want him?”
“What? No! Leave me alone!”
Kyle jumps with glee. “You are! Oh my God, Murphy you like him. Like, really like.”
“Shut up, Kyle, get out of my way!”
I march right past him, slamming my bedroom door. Oh God, I do like him, probably more than any other man I’ve ever met. What does that say about me? I know, that I’m glutton for punishment. How can I possibly find him, the man who belongs to the family that is holding my life in their hands more attractive, more interesting and more annoying than any other decent guy out there? Maybe because I never truly met a decent guy, and for some reason I think Zander is decent. And the way he makes me feel. I can still feel his hands on me, gently cleaning my injuries.
I can maybe deny him during the day but when I sleep there is no denying in my dreams. Every night since we’ve met, I can see and feel his touch, the way it felt to be in his arms or the way he controlled my body. The orgasms that he gave me, nothing has ever come close to that.
Shit, what am I thinking? I can’t have these feelings. He is nothing to me, or at least that’s what I need to keep telling myself. I will not be like my mother and fall for the wrong man, or any man. So, I’m in like with him, but it’s not love. Love doesn’t truly exist; not for me, it doesn’t.
I’m startled from my thoughts as Kyle barges into the room. “I wasn’t finished with you yet, Murph.”
“Oh yes, you are. I don’t want to talk about Mr. Zander Stern again.”
“Mr. Zander Stern, that’s what we’re calling him now? So professional. Is that a way for you to feel less comfortable with him?”
“What the hell are you talking about now?”
“I’m talking about how that man is sweet on you and you keep pushing him away like you always do. Except this time, I see something different.”
“Really? Do tell, I know you’re dying to.”
“Oh I will. I see the smoldering heat that comes off you two when you’re around each other. I see the desire in your eyes for him.”
“You’re full of shit, Kyle. It’s almost laughable.”
“Except that neither one of us is laughing. Why do this to yourself, Murphy?”
“Do what, Kyle?”
“Why do you try so hard to keep people at bay? Why are you so determined not to let anyone in, especially men? That man cares for you so much that he has his mother waiting to collect from you, and you still push him away.”
I can’t answer, I have no answer for him other than I refuse to be used or hurt. I hang my head, not from shame, but for the time to build my defenses back up. Kyle’s right about me; over the years I let him in, I let him close enough to me that he recognizes my faults, but he has no right to throw them back in my face.
He refuses to stop. “Listen, Murphy, be smart. Even if you don’t want to admit how much Zander gets to you, you should still consider his mother’s offer. I heard everything. I know his mother wants you to marry him. I think you should do it. He can protect you, and you can keep a percentage of the casino. It’s a win-win.”
I’m done, that did it. “What the hell are you talking about? You want me to be forced to marry a man I don’t love to keep a small percentage of a casino I already own? You want me to be tied down to a man who is dangerous, not to mention a womanizer, to just piss away everything that’s mine by right? If that is my choice, I choose to just leave, go back home, let the Sterns have it all, just forget it ever existed. But I’m not. I will find a way to pay them back and keep what is mine without having to sacrifice the rest of my life.”
Kyle’s shaking his head in defeat. “Fine, Murph, do what you have to do, but honey, if you can’t pay them, you will lose everything, including Zander, and you won’t believe me now, but that will hurt more than losing the casino.”
I continue to watch in shock as he disappears into his bedroom. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t care about Zander, and he definitely isn’t mine, so how could it hurt worse than losing my casino?
Zander
I can’t believe this woman. How dare she turn her nose up at the idea of marrying me? I never even said I wanted to marry her, but for some fucking reason, I would, just to say I kept her safe. But that would be a lie, I would marry her for me. I would marry her and tie her ass down to me for life.
But not Murphy, she’d rather die than have me as her husband. She made that loud and clear. I need to just forget her and let Gabriel handle it from here on out.
No woman has ever had me so confused and twisted like she has me right now. I’m not a man who ever wanted to fall for just any woman. I have been very selective, even to the point of never talking about or bringing a woman around my mother. I’ve had many women in my life, but none that made me feel this way. I never even looked for one; instead, I always thought that one day my mother would find me a wife like she did for Gabriel. He hated the idea, but I liked the thought of it. It took away the pressure of finding the perfect woman for me. I was really under the assumption that she didn’t exist until Murphy came around. Sure, she has a great body, a body that a real man desires, none of that skinny boney shit, but real womanly curves. The kind that I can grab ahold of with my big hands. Any woman is good for a night, or even two, but a wife for me has to be more than just ass and tits. It’s more than that with Murphy. I love her passion and fire, her stubbornness and pushy ways. I love everything about her, and that’s where the problem lies. I find the perfect woman, and she wants nothing to do with me.
Now to find out Mom went to meet with her and offered her a marriage between us that she so blatantly turned down. Well, that shit just pisses me off. Forget that my mother is threatening her, no woman would turn down the idea of marrying me. Hell, I’m a great catch, women have been trying for years to nail me down. Now the one woman I want doesn’t want me. The irony is not lost on me, trust me.
I have two choices, give up completely or find a way to convince her I am the right man for her. But for now, I need to make some calls and find out who the asshole is that’s threatening her.
Shaking my head clear I put a few calls in to my crew and ask them to start hunting down the bastards looking to hurt Murphy. I have a lot of questions for them. I need to find out why. If it’s not my mother, then who wants her gone?
29
Zander
Days go
by with me pounding the pavement and faces as I search for the people who are trying to hurt Murphy. It’s also been days since I’ve spoken to her or my family. I tried once to contact Murphy; of course, she didn’t respond. The rejection was enough that I didn’t try again. I might care for her, but I won’t be her bitch. If she doesn’t want me, then so be it. I just want to make sure our family interest in the casino is not put at risk. That’s what I keep telling myself when I actually know it’s because of her that I’m hunting for any trail that will take me to the people I need to kill.
The problem is, no one knows shit, or they’re not speaking. I have one more option. I need to speak to Mom and get her to agree to speak with the other bosses on my behalf. There is no way one of them doesn’t know something. I just can’t go alone without permission; it would show disrespect. Just like in business, everything goes through a chain of command; same in the mob. My mom is the highest of them all, her word will be final.
I know today is family day at my mom’s, and I haven’t been by to visit in a long time, but this can’t wait anymore. I need her permission to go talk to the bosses.
I enter my mom’s and see her sitting in the living room with the girls. Immediately, she acts like she doesn’t want me there.
“Zander, what are you doing here?”
“Am I not allowed to come home for a visit, Mom?”
“No, no, son, that’s not what I mean. It’s just, it’s not a good time. I even canceled our dinner. Look, son, I would love to sit down and talk to you, but I can’t today, all right? I’ll call you.”
She’s almost frantic as she practically starts shoving me towards the door when Gabriel and Liam come around the corner. Liam speaks first.
“Hey, what’s going on here?”
I answer, “Seems like I might’ve crossed too many lines. Mom’s wanting me out.”
Gabriel shrugs his shoulders. “What did you expect, Zander? You practically declared war against us.”
“Fuck you, Gabriel. If I declared war against you, you wouldn’t be fucking standing there, now would you? I know, and you know you couldn’t stop me.”
Gabriel starts to buck up, raring to get at me, when Liam comes between us, holding him back. Then Vin comes from out of nowhere to stop us both.
Suddenly, Mom yells out, “That’s enough! This family is not going to war amongst ourselves. Do you all hear me? We are stronger than this. Control yourself, Gabriel, walk away. Now! Zander, I know we need to talk, but I need you to leave right now. We’ll talk later.”
“All I need from you right now is your permission to talk to the other bosses. Someone is trying to kill Murphy, and I am not about to let that happen. If you don’t give me the permission, I know the consequences, but I will talk to them one way or another.”
Before she can respond, the front door opens and Theo Trahan walks in. Mom looks panicked.
“No, Theo, not now!”
Theo looks pissed as he keeps walking forward. “Shut up, Catherine!”
I roar out in defense of my mother, “Fuck you! How dare you come in here like this?”
I notice my brothers are now by my side, all ready to defend our mother from none other than Theo.
Theo is one tough son of a bitch, so he doesn’t back down.
“Listen, son, I came here to tell you I know who has been after Murphy.”
That changes things. I relax my stance and ask, “Who?”
“It’s Forrest and his crew. They were paid by Judith Larussa to make her leave or end her.”
My mother shouts out, “Forrest? Why would he do that!?”
Theo shrugs his shoulders and says, “I don’t know, that’s for Zander to find out. I have him on ice for now.”
“Where is he? I need to get to him and make him answer my damn questions.”
Theo pushes his hands out. “Hold up, son. I have him secure, and his crew has been put on halt. We need to talk first.”
“No, Theo, stop! I want you to leave now!” We all turn back, looking at Mom as she shouts at Theo. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I don’t like it.
Theo shouts back, “Catherine, I told you by the end of the week, if you didn’t tell them, I would. Now I’m not fucking around anymore!”
Gabriel and Vin walk over to Theo and start to try and persuade him to leave, but he’s not having it. Gabriel might be the boss one day, but he has no power over Theo yet, so he knows better than to touch him.
Mom starts crying out, “Theo, please don’t do this. I’m begging you to stop, not now.”
A shouting Theo says, “If not now, Catherine, then when!? It’s been years of this shit. I’ve played it your way too long!”
My mother is hysterically crying now, and just watching her cry brings back so many bad memories. I haven’t seen her cry since my bastard of a father died. I’m becoming enraged with seeing her like this all over again.
Theo pushes past Gabriel and Vin. We all watch as he walks over to Mom and holds her in his arms. Everyone is on pins and needles as we hear him tell her, “I love you, Katie. I have to do this, even if it destroys us.”
The girls and everyone look back and forth between each other, trying to figure out what’s going on. Although I notice Vin is just standing with his head down. It makes me think he knows exactly what’s going on; if anyone does, it’s definitely him.
Gabriel questions them, breaking their embrace, “What the hell is going on? Someone needs to start talking.”
Theo turns around with Mom behind him and begins. “Your mother and I have been in love for many years. She thought it was best to keep it from you all until you were older. But then by the time you were, she thought none of you would understand or accept our relationship.”
Liam starts to chuckle. “I knew something was going on between the two of you. Sorry, guys, but I can’t believe none of you noticed.”
I look at him, pissed. “Then why didn’t you tell us, Liam?”
“Because for one, I wasn’t sure, and two, it’s none of my damn business. If Theo makes Mom happy, I don’t care, and neither should any of you.”
I tell Theo, “Well, I sure care. How the hell do you think I would be all right with you dating my mom?”
Theo stands taller and bucks up. “You don’t get to have an opinion, Zander, or any of you. I’ve been waiting my whole life to be out in the open with how I feel about this woman. You can either get used to it, or we’ll have a problem.”
I laugh. “You love my mother so much that you offered to help me go to war with her. That speaks volumes, doesn’t it?”
“It sure in the fuck does. I did that for you, Zander.”
“Why would you choose me over the woman you supposedly love?”
Mom moves in front of Theo, crying, “Enough, please, let’s stop it here. Everyone knows about us now, that’s enough for right now.”
Theo grabs my mom’s arms and tells her, “No, Catherine, all of it comes out today!” He then looks back to me and says, “I would do it for you, Zander, because I love you, too, son.”
“What the fuck, man, you love me? Why? And quit fucking calling me son.”
“See, that’s it, Zander, I love you because you are my son. Not William’s, but mine!”
I see red as I rush him and tackle him to the floor. I punch him as hard as I can in his face before my brothers jump on my back and pull me off. Screaming for them to get the fuck off me, I see Mom and Vin rush to Theo’s side. Vin helps him up, and that’s when I yell at Vin, “You knew! You fucking knew this whole time, didn’t you!?”
Vin turns to me and says, “No, man, I knew about their relationship, but I didn’t know that you were his.”
“Fuck you, Vin, and fuck you, Theo. Where were you all the years we were living here with that fucking asshole? Where were you every time he hurt her? Where were you?”
Liam yells out, “Avery, Fallon, get the baby and get out of here.”
I push back at my brothers. “Ge
t the fuck off me now!”
Liam says, “Then calm down!”
I growl towards him, and his face goes pale; he knows he best not fuck with me. But then I hear Theo tell them, “Let him go!”
Slowly, they let me go but stay near, ready to grab me again.
Theo begins to shout at me, “If you ever fucking hit me again in front of my woman, I will forget you’re my son. I made you, and I can take you down. Do you hear me, boy!?”
I go after him again, but my brothers grab me. Theo turns and tells my mother to sit down because she can barely stand now. Then he turns his attention back towards me.
“I was here, son. I’ve been right here through it all. I tried my hardest to get your mother away from him. She wouldn’t leave. So over the years, I protected all of you the best I could. You need to let me explain.”
“I don’t need to hear any of your explanations, you failed if you didn’t think he wasn’t hurting any of us. Vin knows what he did, just like I do. You didn’t see all the bruises we carried from that monster. The nights and days I hid from Mom because I didn’t want her to come to my rescue, knowing it would mean more pain for her. Did he know I wasn’t his? You know what, it’s obvious he did because he never went after Gabriel or Liam. Fuck you! I didn’t need you then, and I don’t need you now!”
He comes closer to me, and I shake my head, letting him know not to try it. I storm out of the house like it’s on fire.
30
Murphy
Days have gone by with me no closer to figuring out my problem. Still, I can’t find any answers to why Dad borrowed so much money.
It’s also been days since I’ve seen Zander. I know I need to put him to rest, but I can’t help thinking of him from time to time. I even went out with Kyle one night to meet his new friends he met. I had a good time, I even met someone. He seemed nice enough, but he wasn’t Zander, and that fact alone drove me crazy. I have never been one to pine over a man. When I’m done, I’m done, end of story. It pisses me off even more how with him it’s different. Kyle took notice and says it’s because he’s Mr. Right. Mr. Right, my ass. He might be Mr. Sexy, Mr. Strong, and Mr. Holy Hell Orgasms, but he is not Mr. Right. Now he’s just Mr. Gone, but that’s my fault, and I’m sticking to my decision.
Art of War (A Stern Family Saga Book 3) Page 15
