Tonight, Kyle wants us to go out again, but it’s no use. Nothing I do takes my mind off my troubles or Zander, so I tell him to go without me.
He’s been gone for about two hours now. He left early because he wanted to go eat at a new restaurant with his friend before they went to the clubs. So here I am, left with my own thoughts and a box daring me to open it.
Screw it, it’s just a box. Like Kyle said, whatever is inside can’t hurt me any worse than I’ve been hurt before. I open my nightstand and pull out the key. Here goes nothing.
I turn the key in the lock and hear it pop. Raising the lid, I notice it’s files after files. I start with the first one, and my heart breaks. It’s a baby picture of me from the hospital and more pictures of me throughout my first year of life. There are even pictures of my dad feeding me a bottle. The second file is filled with the pictures of me in my second year of life. The files go on and on. When I get to the file where I started kindergarten, the files start showing reports from my school and pictures I’ve drawn. Handprints and all kinds of memorabilia are in the files. My tears start falling as I go through all the pictures and memories he collected over the years. Even the years after he left and never returned are in here. Pictures, report cards and letters from my mom telling him all about me. My college records are even in here, and there are pictures that look like they were taken from afar. My whole life up until his death is in this box. The box that he said held his love, held me.
I’m shattered. I begin crying for the years that he was missing from my life and for the fact that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did love me. I blamed him for making me think I wasn’t enough for him. Then I cry wondering what could have possibly made him stay away.
I stand up and start drying my tears when I hear someone knock on my door. I hurry, putting all the papers and pictures from the files back on top of the box. I look in the mirror and clean my face the best I can. I hear the knock again. I yell out, “I’m coming, hold on.”
31
Zander
I got in the car and drove for hours, not knowing what to do with the information I found out. I can’t believe he knew all these years and didn’t try to save us. I remember Theo being there from time to time when we were little. I always thought he was the biggest badass of them all. As we all got older and our father died, he started helping with us more, showing us the ropes, but I never thought he and my mom were together. Not once did I think I was his. I should have paid more attention to the way he treated us, sometimes like we were his. Even his snot-nosed son would come around. I hit my steering wheel; that means Teddy is my brother, fuck.
I finally pull over on the side of the road by the river to calm my nerves. What do I do now? I need to get to Forrest, but I don’t know where he is. Then I think of Murphy, and my thoughts of her calm me. Without question, I put my car in drive and know exactly where I need to be, and with whom.
I pull into the hotel. As soon as the concierge sees me, he tries to stop me. “Mr. Stern, please stop. I have been given instructions to not allow you upstairs.”
I stop, turn towards him, and say, “Really, Gary? You’re going to stop me? With what army? Do you really want to even try?”
He starts shaking in his pants, so I walk right past him. I don’t care if she has an army waiting for me, not one motherfucker will keep me from her tonight.
The elevator opens to her floor, and I storm out, having to find the strength to hold myself back from barging right into her room. I stop at her door, trying to calm myself before I see her. Knocking on the door, I try to wait till she answers. On my second, more forceful knock, I hear her yell to hold on. Finally, she opens the door. She stands there covered in a black silk slip and nothing else.
That’s the moment that I realize she is exactly what I need.
“Can I come in?”
“No, how did you get up here?’
“I told you, Red, if I want to get to you, no one could stop me. Now let me in.”
“Zander, please, I can’t do this tonight.”
Like an idiot, I just notice that she looks like she’s been crying. I push her back into the room and grab her face in my hands.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen? I’ll kill whoever it is!”
She pulls away from me. “Zander, please, it’s nothing, just leave. I’m tired, and I’m not in the mood for this shit.”
“I can’t, don’t ask me to leave, I need you.”
She looks up at me, then softly brushes her fingers over my brow. “What happened?”
I reach up to where she’s touching and feel the sting of a cut. It must’ve happened when my brothers were getting me off Theo. I take hold of her hand and say, “It’s nothing. I had a little altercation earlier.”
“Altercation, huh?”
“Yeah, now tell me what happened to you.”
“No.”
She begins walking away from me, going to her bathroom to put on her robe. I follow her but stop in her room. She closes the door for privacy as I ask, “Where’s Kyle?”
She shouts through the door, “He went out tonight with some friends. Just give me a minute.”
I start looking around the room and notice papers scattered all over on top of a box. On closer examination, I see report cards, letters, and pictures. It begins to lift my spirits, and for the first time tonight I smile. It’s all pictures of Murphy at every age. The best is of her with pigtails and freckles. I hear the door open, and I hold the picture up. “Freckles.”
Rushing to me, she practically rips the picture back. “That’s not for your amusement.”
I look back at the papers and say, “What is all this?”
“It’s nothing, Zander. Look, I don’t know why you’re here, but I need you to leave.”
“I found out who’s been threatening you.”
That makes her change her tune. “Who?”
“Judith. She hired an associate of my mother’s. He’s a lower end boss, Forrest Melancon. He’s being held till I can get more out of him.”
“What else do you need to know?”
“I need to know why he went against my mother. Your threats were not allowed, everyone knew that you owed us. He had no business going against that.”
I walk closer to her and take my hand to raise her chin. “Plus I need to teach him a lesson. He can’t go against my mom, and he can’t hurt what’s mine.”
I bend to kiss her, but she again pulls away.
“Zander, I’m not yours. Please, I don’t want to keep rehashing it.”
I reach out and pull her tight against me. “Yes, you are. You just don’t want to admit it yet.”
With her in my arms, I lean down and kiss her passionately. Whether or not she wants to admit it, she tells me without words by responding to my kiss. Her mouth opens, and we fight for control. Having her melt in my arms is the best feeling I have ever experienced. Once our kiss ends, I kiss the tip of her nose.
I grab her hand and start pulling her to the bathroom. “What are you doing?”
“I want to see.”
“See what?
“Freckles.”
“Oh, no, Zander, no, no, I am not showing you anything but the door.”
“Baby, you’ve already shown me way more than the door. Now, what do you remove all that makeup with?”
“I told you I’m not doing it.”
“I love your stubbornness, but shut up and point or I’m using soap.”
“I can’t use soap!”
“Then point.”
She shuts her mouth and points to a bottle of cleanser sitting on the counter. I pick the bottle up, and before I can read it, she grabs it from me. “Move, I’ll do it.”
I grab it back and tell her. “No, I want to.” I grab a towel off the rack and turn the water on. I take the bottle and pour a little onto the towel and get it lathering. Then with one arm, I pick her up and sit her ass on the counter. “Close your eyes. I’ve never done this
before, and I don’t want to get it in your eyes.”
She’s fuming, but she closes her eyes. I take one more look at her before I start to rub the lather on her skin. This gives me an opportunity to closely examine her; it’s not sexual, but somehow it feels intimate. It might be the most intimate thing I have ever done with a woman. Slowly, the makeup she’s wearing disappears and leaves her breathtaking. I never really saw a woman without her makeup on. Her skin is glowing, and the freckles that lay across her nose are the most adorable thing I have ever seen on a woman. They almost make her look innocent and young. I continue my strokes to wash all the soap off, and then I just stand there between her legs, staring like a man possessed. She slowly opens her eyes and sees me staring back, her bright blue eyes hypnotizing me.
When I still say nothing, she asks, “What’s wrong, you hate my freckles?”
Instead of saying anything, I grab her face and start kissing across her nose, trying to show her how much I love her freckles. I finally drag my kisses down to her mouth, and she opens for me with need. The kiss is slow and soft and has so much beauty in it. I open my eyes when I feel a tear fall from her face onto mine.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She shakes her head, looks me straight in the eyes, and says, “Please, I need you tonight.”
I look back at her and see the honesty in her request. I know right then no matter what happens, she’s all I will ever need or want. I kiss her again and tell her through it, “You have me, Red.”
As I continue to kiss her, I reach down and grab around her waist, lifting her into my arms. She wraps her legs around me, and I carry her to her bed, where I intend on finally making her mine, for good this time. I lay her down and stand back up to remove my clothes. She watches my every move; her eyes show desire, but I can see there is pain there, too. I’ll help her through it any way I can. She moves to a kneeling position and removes her slip. My God, how this woman takes my breath away. I crawl in after her.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I need you to take it all away, just for a little while.”
Little does she know, I’m willing to take it all away, forever. I start off slow again, I want to keep this pace. I never felt the need to go slow or soft with a woman before. But for some reason, I want to treasure every second I have with her. I kiss her soft lips and feel her hands as they reach around to my back. I never really paid attention to where a woman’s hands were before unless they were on my cock, but this, feeling her caress up and down as I kiss her, is something I never expected to enjoy, but I do. It’s giving me comfort I didn’t know I needed. I gently lay her down with me on top of her and stare down at her. Her hands reach for my face, and she asks, “What is it? Is something wrong?”
“No, everything is perfect.” And it is. I kiss her again and start moving down to her neck. I whisper, “You’re perfect.” Hearing a moan from her, makes everything else I have been feeling about what I learned earlier vanish. She does that for me. I glide down her body and start to caress every inch of her. Her breasts are perfection, they’re large, and they spill out from my hands, they’re the kind of breasts men can suffocate in, and they’re mine. Her nipples are so pink and hard, as I lick and suck on them, she writhes underneath me. It does nothing but encourage me to go further. I begin trailing my kisses lower down her body, not missing an inch of her. I can tell when I get to her belly button, she tenses and gets nervous. I feel her hands reach down and cover her stomach. Fuck that; she might not have the flattest stomach, but it’s beautiful, and it’s now mine. I claim it, and it’s my right to see and feel all of it. I reach for her hands and pull them out of my way.
“Don’t ever cover anything from me.”
I continue to kiss around every soft inch of her stomach and move further down. To my heaven, she’s a natural redhead, I can tell you that.
She jumps as I tug on her pubic hair. “I’ve been too busy to wax; shit, I forgot.”
I tug again and look up at her. “There is nothing about you I don’t like, so shut up and let me enjoy this.” She smiles and moves her hands and arms above her head and says, “Well, then enjoy.”
I push her legs further apart and spread her wide open for my mouth. This beautiful pussy is now mine, and I’ll be damned if I ever let it go. She moans out loud, damn, it’s the sweetest sound. I started off faster than I wanted, like a man starving, but now I slow my tongue and can feel her getting frustrated. She starts moving, trying to get me more where she needs me, but that’s not going to happen. I wrap my arm around her stomach, holding her down to suck on her clit as hard as I can, then I release, blowing air over the overstimulated nub. I slick my fingers through her now drenched pussy and thrust them in. Her back arches off the bed, and I hold her back down. I still my fingers, I don’t want her to peak until I say she can. A little torture never hurt anyone. Lord knows she’s been torturing me. Nice and slow, that’s how I want her. I pull my fingers out and suck on them while she pants.
That’s right, I want her to know that I am the only man from now on to give her pleasure. I lower my head and push her legs higher to get her folded in half. I lick her from her tight forbidden hole to her beautiful swollen clit, then make my way back down. Like I said, every inch of this woman, I’m claiming, including this puckered hole. I can’t take much more of the slow burn I wanted to give her, it’s now torturing me. So, I thrust two fingers back inside her and curl my fingers right where I know she needs me. Going back to manipulating her clit and thrusting right where I’m needed. I feel her walls tightening, squeezing my fingers. She trembles and convulses so hard, I feel like she’s trying to buck me off. But that’s not happening. Just to show her I am going to control every inch of her, I go back to sucking her clit.
She begs for me to stop. “Zander, stop, I can’t, please.” That’s right; that’s what I wanted to hear.
“Yes, you can.”
I’m going to prove it to her, she’ll cum again back to back. I release my hold on her stomach and use my other hand to keep her spread open for me as I continue my torture; she has no idea what I can do to her. My fingers slide so easy now in and out of her, so I take her juices and slide fingers down to her tight, puckered hole, getting it nice and lubricated. Now I decide to show her what else her body will enjoy. With my mouth on her clit and two fingers in her pussy, I add another one to her ass. She bucks, but that doesn’t hinder me; I slowly push the tip of my finger inside, but not enough for her to feel the need to fight me; just enough to give her the perfect sensation of being filled. I massage all areas, and it doesn’t take but a few seconds for her yell out my name, climaxing harder than I’m sure she ever has.
I sit back up, wiping my face and still sliding my fingers over her drenched pussy. She’s so relaxed now, but I’m not finished with her yet. I lay back over her, holding my weight. “Look at me, baby.” She opens her eyes and smiles up at me. “Did you like that?” She nods her head because she’s still panting. I take pleasure in that. “Has anyone ever done that before?” She doesn’t answer, but I’m not giving up. “Red, has anyone ever done that before?”
“Zander, I don’t want to talk about anyone else.”
“Answer me.”
She looks back at me and sees I’m not giving up. “No, no one has ever been able to do that or the things that you’ve done to me.”
That’s what I wanted to hear. It does something to me, causing me to charge forward and thrust straight into her hard. She yells out, but I can guarantee you it’s not from pain. Fuck!! This woman is incredible. The way her body wraps around my cock, it’s like it was made just for me. I give two more hard, fast thrusts, then still. I lower myself down on top of her, caging her in, and kiss her gently and slow.
“I need you to keep looking at me, don’t look away.”
I need her to see me and see that I’m giving her all of me. I start to move again, but this time I want to savor her. The last time we were together, it was like two animals
tearing at each other, but this time I want a connection. Shit, I want a connection. When have I ever even thought about that? But I can’t help it. For some reason, it’s different; I would do anything for her. With our eyes locked, I make love to someone for the first time. It’s soft, slow and compassionate. I actually understand now how people say they feel like they’re one when they make love. I push further up on my next thrust to make sure I’m hitting the right spot. I might never have made love to a woman before, but I sure know how to pleasure them. Fuck that, I feel like all the other women were my training, and this is my final test. Final and forever. She and I are both moaning and enraptured in the pleasure that we both orgasm at the same time. Ending our torture for each other in pleasure. Pleasure that from now on will be forever.
We look deep into each other’s eyes as she brings her hands up holding my face. We continue to kiss, and then I feel the tears begin to fall again. I roll off her and pull her next to me as I hold her tight.
“Murphy, tell me, I want to know why you’re crying.”
“No, I can’t.”
Murphy
I can’t believe I just slept with Zander again. Earlier when he got here, I was filled with so much grief and sorrow for all the time I lost with my father. Being mad and feeling anger towards my dad for not being there to watch me grow up was so much easier than knowing that he really did care for me all this time. I can’t help wondering, then, why wasn’t he there?
Then Zander showed up and pushed his way into my arms again. I mean, not like he took advantage of me, but more like he is the only man I have ever needed or wanted comfort from. He always seems to be around when I need him the most. And for some reason, I can’t help being drawn to him. He seems to know how to put me at ease, and every time I’m near him, I feel so safe and secure. Almost like I can let all my guards down in front of him and he wouldn’t hate the more vulnerable side of me. I try to remain in control, but when he’s around, he always gets me to hand some of that control over. Yes, he might be bossy, arrogant and a smartass, but he also has a tender and gentle side to him that I am sure he doesn’t show many people.
Art of War (A Stern Family Saga Book 3) Page 16
