The Complete Poems of A R Ammons, Volume 2

by A. R. Ammons

  it, as I always thought it was, the inclines

  of the peaks, the coming together, so high

  4900that only the unspeakable shares anything with

  it: oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, god, I love the

  dibble of the beginning rain, the blue storm

  off in a rumbling locus and coming here, the

  wind holding, the humidity high, before the

  4905falling out of the playing through: when

  _________

  the wind strikes, everything will bend over:

  the brunt will break, ease will rise again:

  the Lord of the rain is where the swirls make

  up and where the synthesis crests along great

  4910sweeping lines of fronts and water appears,

  but also there is the primate lord, the big

  guy at the top of the order, in whose favor is

  ease and place and out of whose favor are the

  anxieties of hell, the peripheral body without

  4915a body: order at all costs, because only in

  that tent may the infant nurse, the seed set,

  the loom waft, for when orders collide (the

  cost of order) the wounded and the dead precede

  supper’s menu:

  4920DON’T ASK ME

  112

  in the middle of the piddle there’s a puddle:

  well, it’s Monday morning, and it’s business

  as usual, no business: because it’s summer

  and the days are agetting shorter: up on the

  4925north end of the west ridge where the sun sets

  you can see, marking it off, it’s coming back

  this way: when it pales out front behind that limb

  of the crabapple tree, nights will be long &

  _________

  brittle cold: are plus a is area: I am

  4930finally fatally flawed, I daresay: the pain

  in my hipjoint and humerus is—well, not very

  funny: the swelling in the ankles promises

  plenty: and a network of other ailments is

  so complicated balancing one ailment

  4935tilts another: medication becomes

  virtually self-diseasing: so many pills you

  can’t tell the effects from the side effects:

  and who are you, someone before the medications

  or during or after: at least, you are being

  4940kept, but in another place: are your feelings

  lofty or zolofty, red or blue, down or double

  downdown: do you, in this condition, have any

  right to speak, for who or what is speaking, is

  it milligrams or anagrams, is it tranquility or

  4945tranquilium: will we psyches be like the

  skies: we’ll never again see clouds that may

  not be vapor trails: we’ll never be clear and

  know our clouds for what they are: maybe we’ll

  forget about clouds altogether and just tune

  4950ourselves to blue skies, all of us: where wd

  the disheveling fun come from then if we

  refused any more wars—think of the sublimity

  _________

  of civilians in mass graves, some with holes

  in their drawers for raping: wd we have no

  4955more heroes, no skinny escapees, nobody to weep

  over, no generals accepting the fates of

  thousands into their strategies:

  NEVER HAS THE GRASS BEEN SO WELL WATERED,

  RAIN WATERED, I MEAN

  113

  4960can one be powerful and not invoke nightmares,

  bad family scenes, ugly diseases, or immolation,

  can one be kindly and yet movingly present:

  must one divulge his drives and practices, and

  must they be low and damaging in order to

  4965entertain others: may one not weakly put out

  his airy net and catch the butterflies or more

  weakly put out some sugar water and let the

  butterflies go: was it not suggested by the

  ancient ones that the valleys outlive the

  4970peaks and that to yield is to let something

  headstrong pass: should one disturb another

  with a strong emotion or a psychological twist:

  even when the complacent crowd beg for a

  forceful focus, a motive that impels a single

  4975way, and even when they offer big money and

  _________

  wide acclaim, should one assume the office and

  make something up: complacency to the

  complacent, some would argue: may one, for

  those few already rocked by horror and in no

  4980need of vivifying pain, may one, for them, let

  the drought brook trickle all day, let the

  breeze touch the pond like a thought, so they

  may be quieted and strong when the grizzly

  walks up: alas: nature’s mixed: white

  4985clouds float serenely through a summer afternoon

  or fangs fly out of a bush at you: should

  poems rehearse the terrors so as to leave us

  apprised, and should poems at other times hum

  the frantic into a pause: I long for a poem

  4990so high, but not too high, where every agony

  can be acknowledged as a quiver in the easy

  ongoing of the pacific line: love is a kind of

  violence; death takes hold sometimes violently:

  grief’s gusts nearly break your ribs: we deal as

  4995best we can with these but running through, and

  rising, is the constant will that longs for

  companionship with an all-keeping indifference

  YOU’VE NEVER

  SEEN ANYTHING

  5000LIKE IT

  OR LIKED

  ANYTHING SCENIC

  114

  the world, so populous, is so decimated: there

  were 40 aunts and uncles: there was Aunt

  5005Blanche, and Uncle Claude, Aunt Mitt, Aunt

  Kate (I loved her), Uncle John (commanding)

  and Uncle Frank (soused), and Aunt Lottie,

  Addie, Laura. . . . I believe I believe; no, I

  believe: but in what: I believe in belief:

  5010that’s hollow belief, the form of belief, without

  substance: does that do any good, do you

  think: well, I would say, if I may say so,

  that at least you’d be favorably placed in

  attitude: I don’t know if you ever noticed

  5015it, but what you tell yourself can make a

  difference: it cannot, as far as I can tell,

  keep, say, the house from burning down, but it

  can be useful to say to yourself—so, look,

  it’s not like it’s the end of the world: we’ll,

  5020I’ll, you’ll rebuild, start over: the sun

  comes up tomorrow (in all likelihood): it wd

  not be useful to say, that’s the end of me:

  so make all the “good” working internal

  differences you can—and there are even

  5025circumstances in which internal difference can

  influence external difference: for example,

  _________

  when the aforementioned grizzly issues rapt

  from the bushes, what you do may influence what

  he does: I don’t know what you should do: I

  5030think I heard you should be still and not

  scream: maybe unless he comes at you, then u

  should commence to shout and wave your

  arms: I’m not sure about that: but if you

  keep your head while all about you people aren’t

  5035keeping their heads, you may be chosen as their

  leader: absotively and posilutely:

  LIFE IS A SUEÑO, ALL RIG
HT,

  ALSO A TRIP

  (AND ONE HELL OF A NOTE)

  115

  5040I just can’t buy the bi- words: bye, bye to

  them and their double meanings: bi-monthly:

  is that twice a month or every other month:

  what is the matter with “every other”: say,

  every other week, or fortnightly: what’s the

  5045matter with fortnightly, except it sounds like

  the Brits, and who can stand the Brits: I

  cannot, to pause momentarily, bear the Brits:

  the wind in their sails would not blow a gnat

  off his podium: they are so flat they slip

  5050under linoleum: they look, frankly, as if

  they rarely see a washcloth: and on TV they

  _________

  sound so gruff, just in saying, good morning,

  how are you (if they say that), you think

  they’re getting to gnaw each other: the Brits

  5055is, by rumour, shits, I mean, twits: what,

  bubble lips, do you mean by that, says razor

  (no, blade) lips: bubbles and blades, bubbles

  and blades: have you ever heard it said you

  shouldn’t buy shoes in the morning: for

  5060because with day’s stress your ankles swell

  and what fits freely at dawn racks your

  leggings by dusk: of course, if you go out

  too late to get fit, the next morning your

  sloppy shoes fall off your feet: this may be

  5065an exaggeration, but maybe not: suppose you

  are gouty or weak-hearted or hyperhydrated,

  this exaggeration may be an understatement:

  you may have to swathe your ankles in the

  morning and disbandage them at eve: rather

  5070than shoe fit foot, in other words, make foot

  fit shoe: when the bull elephant, his ears

  heisted, takes out after a cow, his biswanger

  so long and heavy it loops to the weeds, well,

  then you think, does it really need to be that

  5075long: does it need to reach in that far: now,

  big surprise! when the cow sulls at last and

  he flaps it up there, it’s in, and you think,

  _________

  what a trip for the ole boy down that love

  canal: true the trip is over before you can

  5080pack a lunch, but, heck, how long should a

  two-year celebration take, all that dense and rhythmical

  commemoration:

  BEFORE LONG

  116

  some notes: buy morning shoes in the morning

  5085and evening shoes in the evening: okay, so

  sure, fill the veins with ore, but let them

  be the veins of butterfly wings, lest the fill

  sink like pig iron: for it must be remembered

  the weightier matters are given to butterflies to

  5090fly away with: pitch the lighter problems to

  the pigs, they make a wallowing mud of them,

  just as people might lack a substantive medium

  without their little worries and remedies:

  (this note is turning into a dissertation):

  5095a further note: ’twere foolish to be foolish

  and wise to be wise (although, I suppose, it

  were sometimes wise to be foolish and foolish

  to be wise): one last (or still further) note:

  soil sticks thinly to the slated hillsides

  5100around here, and rain, when it rains, and it

  sure has rained this spring and summer, along with

  _________

  even moderate winds, the roots of tall spruce

  wobble in their sockets, the grasp so slight,

  and the trees lean toward the roofs, a pity,

  5105the electrical wires could come down with the

  trees and shingles and timbers could fly: it

  is better to rent, except then you never get

  your roots down and a little blowoff is all

  you could need to move you away: last note:

  5110elephants live a whale of a long time. . . .

  OFF AGAIN

  117

  what are the structures of upholding: how do

  they hold: to what heights do they attach to

  point and steady them, and upon what ground can

  5115they settle: will the base rock swim, and the

  heights, lo, they burn away in the sun, mists

  and fringes of fire: of what material can so

  high an arising as we need be made: why, of no

  earthly thing but of will, blank will, which

  5120acquires nor wields weight but simply insists

  that it is as it is, right through the ruins of

  truth which melts to reservation and contradiction

  right through the rigors of all loss, no more

  nothing than the nothing at the end it joins:

  5125so, let us look about us in spite of what

  _________

  applies and say what must be: what must be:

  you ask: (the crows gathered somewhere across

  the hill this morning—August 3—and there

  was a flurry of raucous introduction, the new

  5130young, ready to fly, getting acquainted with

  the old community, winter together ahead, the

  isolations of summer-rearing behind): I try to

  hide the old fool playing the fool, but you

  hear, don’t you, the young man, still young,

  5135still under there saying yes yes to the new

  days darkened howsomever: it is a sad song but

  it sings and wants to sing on and on and when

  it can no more it wants someone else to sing:

  to sing is everything but it is also specifically

  5140to dive the stave into marshy passageways and

  bring relief and the future singers in. . . .

  FLAWS AND DRAWBACKS

  FUCKING RIGHT (1999)

  Fucking Right

  Nobody fucks anybody

  who fucks anybody,

  and anybody’s a

  nobody who fucks

  5anybody, still anybody

  who fucks nobody’s

  a nobody, worse

  than a nobody

  who’d just as

  10soon fuck a

  nobody as anybody:

  on occasion, somebody

  will fuck anybody,

  nobody or not,

  15because when you

  fuck anybody you

  could be fucking

  somebody as well

  as nobody, though

  20there are fewer

  somebodies out there,

  I guess, than

  nobodies: to be

  somebody, you have

  _________

  25to be a

  nobody and fuck

  anybody till you

  find a somebody:

  when somebody fucks

  30somebody, it’s right,

  but if, having

  tried hard, you

  find neither nobody

  nor somebody, fuck

  35off, you may

  be bothering people.

  (1998)

  Rough Estimate

  Most creatures

  aren’t preachers:

  tho some’s sounds

  do redound:

  5lions’ roars

  bother whores

  and turn pimps

  into wimps:

  if owls screech

  10it’s not to preach