Tree of Life

by Sarah Joy Green-Hart

  "Come to my wing?”

  The moments of staring deliberation surprised—almost insulted—him.

  She tipped her head and frowned. "You took my hands earlier.”

  Was she serious? Cole breathed a brief humorless laugh. "I was high on adrenaline, begging you to escape when I thought you’d jump at the prospect.” He cleared his throat. "You recall that you hugged me earlier?”

  "That is not fair to bring up.”

  "Exactly.”

  A quick nod. "Okay. I’ll come.”

  “And you’ll be perfectly safe, too.”

  * * *

  Cole set his bag on the floor beside his bed and gestured for Hesper to sit in the recliner to wait while he took out his contacts and put his glasses on.

  He sat on the sofa near Hesper. This had better be a quick conversation. Talking about David and Hesper together made him want to take a long walk over coals ablaze with the death-light. He’d rather send his feet into the afterlife without him.

  Time to shut off the feelings and turn on the educator.

  "Pregnancy. Well, there are ways of preventing that, but my research on the different bases around the country suggests there are a lot of Unified becoming pregnant. It shouldn’t be happening, but it is.”

  "That is frightening,” Hesper said.

  Frightening, true, and uncomfortable. "I have no guarantees for you, my friend. Children of Meros and Unified couples are considered Mongrels. They’re not permitted to live. You just do whatever you can to avoid pregnancy.” A bleak smile drifted into his lips.

  "No one wants to explain the details to me. Why is this so troubling?”

  Are you serious, woman? "Hesper, as for me, it’s uncomfortable because . . . I want to marry you. Your marriage to someone else, particularly my own brother, and all it entails, is not something I’m enthusiastic to lecture you about.”

  Her bleak smile matched his own. "I understand. I did not think of that. I am just so scared.”

  With his finger, he traced the edge of a coffee ring on a coaster near his lamp. Taking a deep breath, he plunged into honesty. "I would be, too. That’s a valid reaction. We’re going to do all we can to alleviate that.” He studied her face: pale, paralyzed, blank. "You hear me, Hesper?”

  Signs of an attempted smile crept into her face. "How did you know Joram?”

  Oh, that again. "Uh, well, he was as Meros as anyone I ever knew. Showed up and started working as a janitor in the Bastion. Trinity bumped him up for training as a soldier, and he became her assistant in about five months. She can get anything done, that woman.

  "Before The Conquest, the Unified had a better system. They kept track of each birth, recorded names, gave citizens identification numbers. Back then, this would never have happened. If he didn’t have identification, he would not have just waltzed in and gotten a job, much less joined the military.

  "Our system is pathetic. Runs on brute force, fear, and hope.” He stopped tracing the coffee ring. "Hope for the Kyrios and military, not civilians. We hope the brutal tactics work as a deterrent to disobedience and dishonesty. Anyway, I’m off track. It may be that the less you know about the Kyrios, the better. So, uh, yes. Joram participated in a few purgings, but . . .”

  "What are purgings?”

  "It’s the killing of alleged undesirables. We don’t do them on a grand scale anymore. Maybe a few troublesome communities. Or if someone reports a mongrel, the Kyrios send soldiers to get rid of them unless the mongrelism is rampant. In which case, law enforcement wardens take care of it.”

  "My brother killed people who were part Unified?”

  "It’s likely. He went. Whether or not he killed anyone, I don’t know. I never went on a purging with him.”

  "And you? You have gone on purgings?”

  A terrible frog foamed up in Cole’s throat. "I have.”

  "How could you do that? How could he do that? You, I guess I understand, but Joram?” She shook her head. "It is the evilest thing I have heard of.”

  "I haven’t accepted one in ten years. I won’t do it anymore. They hate it, because it’s part of training, and I have to hand the responsibility over to someone else during my periods as a trainer,” Cole said. He cleared the frog out. "They no longer attempt to give me those assignments. This is why they jab at me about having Gentle sentiments.” He leaned forward. "Think, Hesper. Why did your mama abandon her children?”

  She didn’t answer. Of course, she didn’t. The answer would be too disrespectful to her papa.

  "It’s because your papa said ‘no.’” Cole shrugged. "The Unified raised her to obey her husband without question, and we’re all that way somehow. We act on what we’ve been taught is right, often without considering that it’s not so simple. I killed people, but I believed it was right at the time.”

  His words made her squirm and screw up her face, but she rose to the challenge despite her discomfort. "That means my brother is doubly wicked. He was taught differently. Why would he try to come home after doing something so horrible to his own people?”

  "When you’re dying, I suspect you don’t care as much what people think of you. He may have had a change of heart. That’s only a guess, though.” Cole brought his hands to his lap and folded them. Tipping his head, he smirked. "Your papa raised a bunch of rebels, didn’t he?”

  Hesper laughed a little through the tears. "It seems he did.” The laughing eyes faded as if she saw something beyond Cole—something terrible. "Nothing is of value anymore. Nothing. It is all waste. I feel I am standing where I thought I was safe, but the earth around me has fallen away. I am alone on my solid ground.” She whispered, "When is that going to give out?”

  "Hesper, is there anything I can—”

  She touched her cheek and winced. "No,” she barked. "You can stay out of my way.” Standing, she faced the door, completely still. Cole followed her gaze to David, who stood in the doorway.

  "David, come in.”

  "Things not go so well?” David asked.

  Hesper rushed past him without a stomp, slam, or tear.

  "Her father wouldn’t talk to her. Her mother begged him, and he wouldn’t hear her. Just now we were talking about how we knew her brother. It went downhill at that point.”

  "We knew him? Who’s her brother?”

  "Remember Joe Cuspus? He ran away when she was young. He passed for at least twenty, but their father isn’t old enough for that. He had to be only fifteen or sixteen.”

  "Joe was her brother? A Gentle?” He laughed. "You’ve got to be kidding. Oh, man. Don’t tell Trinity, she’d be mortified. She was so hot for him, it was absurd. Did you ever report this to the Kyrios?

  "No!”

  "I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t either. Though, it’s pretty important to know that the Earth People have infiltrated the military.”

  Cole sniffed at that.

  David sauntered over to the sitting area. "They shot him, didn’t they? Declared a traitor, I think.”

  "Yep. He attempted to warn his community that the Kyrios were sending a spy. Whatever his political loyalties were, he cared about his family.”

  "You mean to tell me they killed Hesper’s brother because of you?”

  "I never wanted her to leave those woods.” Cole laid his head back on the chair and began mentally counting the leaves in the pattern of the copper ceiling. "I didn’t want her to know any of this.”

  "About that.” David flopped into a chair. "I caught what you said about loving her. At the trial.”

  David would never turn Cole in, but some things kept best as secrets.

  "Oh,” David grunted. "Do you ever look guilty. Time to ‘fess up, Cole. Let’s talk.”

  Twenty-One | Post-Conquest: 232

  Sheets of rain scraped the earth and crashed onto the roof. Cloaked in silence, Hesper hunkered down in her room, staring out the window at the torrent blocking her view of the base. Always faithful, nature’s rejuvenating power had a way with her mind. Her options for
experiencing it may have changed, but it would be with her wherever she lived.

  In the early afternoon, she laid down to try for much-needed sleep until a soft knock rattled her door.

  "Go away.”

  "No can do. I have a proposal for you.” The confidence in David’s voice did not match the knock.

  "Propose somewhere else. I do not care, and I want to sleep.”

  "Hesper, knocky-knocky, I’m coming in.” David entered in full uniform with a folder. "Okay, my dear, listen up.”

  She squashed her head with a pillow and rolled onto her side. He knelt on the bed, took the pillow from her with little effort, chucked it behind him, and spoke without skipping a beat. "First off, young lady, show some respect to your elders.” He crawled off the bed and stood.

  "Respect? I have been through en—”

  "Yes, you have. Which is almost entirely the reason I’m here.” He softened his serious tone with a slight smile. "I won’t pretend to understand your suffering. I understand your reasons, though I’ve never experienced your situation. However, I’ve lost my wife and child. Don’t you dare think I’m not grieving just because I’ve kept my chin up. If you recall, Vincent orders us not to grieve. He means that. You get me? He means it.” He pointed at her. "If he catches wind of us grieving for a so-called witch, we’ll have big problems on our hands. My grief must have its place and time.”

  She was awake to him now as she sat up. She would listen.

  He smiled. "Now that we’re friends again, I have no interest in acquiring another wife at this time. You’re lovely, and if I must, I will. I wouldn’t lay a hand on you, though. I mean”—he twisted his face and looked away, thoughtful—"we’d discuss the situation thoroughly. Women have needs as well, and I recognize that. So . . . a conversation would be warranted.” Clearing his throat, he continued, "I’d much rather see you given to someone else for all our sakes. The law says a Gentle can’t stay unmarried with the Meros for more than two weeks, or she’ll be executed. Plain and simple.

  "Here is my proposal. I know someone who wants one wife and one wife only. You. Will you have him?”

  "What . . . Cole?”

  "That’s the one.”

  "He lied to me and betrayed the Uni—”

  "He did no such thing, you beautiful woman. Here.” He tossed the folder onto the bed, and a few papers fell out of place. "Read these. He may have lied, but he didn’t betray.” Hands thrust into his pockets, David distracted himself feeling the curtains and inspecting the pattern.

  Hesper picked up a handful of the papers and sniffed at them. Slightly floral and something else . . . She read a few but did not need to look far to see the truth. It gave her much to think about, much to forgive, and much to be grateful for.

  "Done?” He smiled. “I don’t know what he’s told you. I only know you think he’s a traitor. My nerdy little brother will never get married if you won’t have him. I can’t have a permanent bachelor disgracing the Chandler name, can I? People will talk.” His deadpan expression twisted into an amused grin and wink-wink. "I went through great trouble to get those papers to you, and I want you to consider the evidence. Exhibit A. I need to get those back before someone finds out I’ve taken them and hangs me by my toes. Have you had your fill?”

  If not for Cole’s deception, Hesper would not be alive to hold a grudge against him. She stared blankly at the papers, aching to hold them to her chest to cry, but that did not make sense to do.

  "Why did he come to us anyway? What did he mean to do with us?”

  "Ask him yourself. I’m just here for the evidence.” David smiled. "What I will tell you is that I’m sure—no, I’m convinced—he cares about you. He’d leave all this”—he swept his arm before him—"if he could do it without hurting anyone.

  "My brother doesn’t care for most women. It’s a pity because he’s a bonny, brawny boy and someone ought to have the privilege of the affection of a snob of his caliber. Losing the woman he cares about—to me of all people—would be unbearable. I dare say one of us would lose an eye or limb over it.”

  David grabbed up the papers and put them back in their folder. "Hesper, one more thing. Maybe Two. Three—as many things as it takes.”

  "What?”

  "If he had an itch to harm you or your people, what would he care if I added you to my ‘harem,’ as he likes to call it?” He bounced on the balls of his feet, shaking his head. "He wouldn’t. He could also lay claim to you by force. You may be mighty, but let’s be truthful, he’s bigger than you and an honored senior officer who’s expert in fairly wicked psychological tactics and martial arts, as we all are.

  "If he wanted to, he could destroy you physically in a heartbeat, emotionally in less than a day, and mentally in a week. Meros law permits him to wed you, bed you, whip your back bloody, and lock you up, but he hasn’t—and he won’t. He’ll just leave and waste away as a scholarly hermit in the wilderness, living on dong quai steeped in dew while he flagellates himself once a day with stolen locks of your hair.”

  Hesper could not help smiling. "You are his brother, and you are Meros. How can I trust you?”

  "Sometimes, my dear, you’ll find yourself in circumstances where trust is the only option worth choosing.” David turned the doorknob. "Cole’s having meals in his room today. See you later.”

  "David!”

  He faced her.

  She could not say it. He deserved to know how much she . . . liked him, how she would have been willing to marry him, that it was not a dislike for him that led her to do what she was about to do, but she could not.

  He appeared thoughtful, a fragile smile played with his mouth. "I think I know, Hesper.” He scrunched his nose and nodded. "I know.”

  * * *

  The rain beat on the window beside Hesper. A low, long peal of thunder grounded her in the present. The first knock received no response. She knocked again.

  Cole opened the door. Surprised, he blinked at her with bloodshot eyes. Was it sleeplessness? Eyestrain? Crying? Whatever the reason, his eyes took a deep breath, aglow with delight upon the sight of her.

  Adahy.

  Tears spilled out, despite her will against them.

  He peered over his glasses, his finger tucked inside a yellowed book he held at his side. "Will you come in?”

  With a sniffle, she nodded.

  He stepped back. "I’m glad you’ve stopped by.” The door closed behind her.

  Her lips trembled as she whispered, "I hope you can forgive me.”

  “Did you say something?”

  “I hope you can forgive me,” she said.

  "Forgive you for what?” He pointed to the soft chairs in the middle of the room. “Let’s sit.”

  As she spoke, she followed his lead. "Judging you. Not believing you. You are the kindest Meros to ever live, and I am no better than bitter Dierdre in the forest, criticizing you without any facts.”

  He sat, but she did not join him. Instead, she stood, full of feelings she lacked adequate words to express.

  "You told me the truth. I saw it. You spared the Unified more than once when the Kyrios were going to kill us. You convinced them we were dangerous, organized, and capable of far more than we are.”

  "How did you find out I told the truth?”

  "David. He showed me the records of your meetings with the Kyrios.”

  Cole burst into laughter. "Aside from the fact that was incredibly illegal, that was a kind thing for him to do.”

  "Why do they not send someone else to confirm your reports?”

  "It’s my baby, not theirs. I’ve sent a few disguised as hunters—only at certain times—as temporary help to back my claims. They’ve seen your people training and receiving mail. Things like that. It’s up to the Kyrios to decide whether to take my word for it. Until Vince called the mission off, they appeared to.”

  Hesper lowered herself to her knees and regarded his face, affectionate respect pressing against her heart. "Will you forgive me, Cole?�
��

  "Nothing to forgive. It’s understandable—justified even. Sit with me?”

  "I feel as though I have been terribly proud, and I need to stay here for a time.”

  He covered his mouth. Trying not to laugh? He deserved credit for trying. "Please, don’t make me feel like a god on a sofa. Come up here. Your kneeling makes me uncomfortable.”

  Very well. She sat where he requested. "Cole, I have other things to talk to you about.”

  "I’m listening.”

  "Why did you come to spy on my community?”

  "I went to destroy. Until I met you.” The side of his mouth curved up. “I was young and ignorant. I saw the women and some hunters, but I never saw a Unified child. To confuse me further, this child tried to help my comrade, your brother. It touched me.

  "I realized that you were people. Real people. Knowing Joe passed for one of us, while being one of them, well, it blurred the lines of prejudice for me considerably. It sounds silly, but it was a profound moment.

  "I had just begun my search for God and requested It allow me to experience things that would make my mind open and capable of receiving Its influence. Seems one answer to that prayer was you.”

  "Cole,” Hesper hoped that staring out the window would keep her from crying again. "I will not mistreat you anymore. I am grateful for your kindness to me, and I promise to keep my word to you.”

  Cole squinted, frowned, then grinned. "Underneath all your straight talk, what is it you’re not saying straight?” He swiped his fingers underneath his collar to tug at something. "Dare I ask if you want this back?” Her betrothal token! He took it up and over his head and held it out.

  Was he offering marriage again? After all this?

  He withdrew his hand. "If I have misunderstood you, I’m sorry. Don’t feel obligated. I—”

  "You have not misunderstood.”

  A broad smile. "Well, this is quite something.” He placed the token around her neck. "Ten minutes ago, I planned to transfer to another base. Thank God for a snitchy big brother—a blessing for the first time.” He held his breath and blew it out. "Hesper, I’m going to be honest. I am desperately fighting an urge to kiss you right now—I won’t!” He held up a finger. "But perhaps it will do you good to know how I’m feeling.” He laughed uncomfortably and stood. "This is wrong in so many ways, but we’re doing the best we can, right? I don’t know what I’m saying. This thrills me more the second time around.”