by Marika Ray
Yeah, that’s right. I’d fallen in love with her. Somewhere between the third nipple discussion and the goat takedown, I’d fallen for her. It no longer mattered who she dated before me. It didn’t matter that she could buy a small country while I barely made ends meet, even with her paying for the roof over my head.
Maybe I was setting myself up for heartache since she still hadn’t verbally committed to a relationship. Maybe we’d actually hit that twenty-fifth anniversary. Either way, I couldn’t help falling in love with her. The slide was easy and I went down fast.
“Rhett!” Gabby called from downstairs.
I pulled a T-shirt over my head and ran a hand through my hair. That would have to do. Gabby and I were having our couple friends over the next day for dinner at our place. She was already getting nervous and I wanted to get my work done so I could help her out as much as possible.
“I’m here,” I said as I sailed down the stairs. She was in black trouser pants and a deep blue blouse that made her skin look edible. The heels had me running my hand through my hair again. I could just picture her with nothing on but those heels.
“Hey, Gutter Brain,” she said with a saucy smile. “I gotta go to work for a few hours and then it’s going to be full-on cleaning and getting ready for the caterers to do their thing. Will you be able to help me later today?”
I walked closer, pulling her in by the hips to rub against her. “I don’t have a gutter brain, I just have a really imaginative Junk Johnson. He sees heels and he comes up with ideas.”
Her hands gripped me through my shorts, instantly getting a reaction from me. “I’ll polish your knob later today when we get to cleaning. Until then”—she pushed against my chest and stepped away—“get your work done, yeah?”
She rifled through her purse and put on lip gloss while I rearranged the growing bulge in my shorts, staying a safe distance away. “I just have two boards that need fins installed and then I’ll have my first custom boards finished.”
She looked up, pride in the way she smiled at me. “Good job, Tesoro. That’ll make you some nice cash and maybe you’ll get some referrals from it.”
I shrugged, a little uncomfortable talking about selling two boards, when I needed to be selling several per day to make the kind of money required to open my own shop. “Yeah, I hope so.”
Gabby put her purse down and came over to tug on my T-shirt. “Hey. Selling two boards is awesome. That’s how every business starts. There’s no shame in being in the first stages of a business.”
I looked at her in the nice pants and fancy blouse, the diamond stud earrings and designer shoes. I wanted to believe her, but history told me I was poor and would always be living paycheck to paycheck. If I truly loved her, how could I bring that kind of failure into her life?
She poked me hard in the side, making me yelp. “What is that look on your face?” she demanded.
“Uh…”
“It’s the worms, isn’t it?”
“What?”
Gabby grabbed my head, smashing my cheeks and bringing me down to her level. Damn, the woman was strong. “Hew put some sort of bullshit in your head, didn’t he?” When I didn’t answer right away, she squished me harder.
“Opay. He sed dat I’d amays be poor.”
She finally released my face and I moved my jaw around in fake pain. “He some sort of palm reader now? Able to see the future? What was it? A crystal ball?” Gabby paced away from me, throwing out so many questions rapid fire, I didn’t have a chance to answer. “He said you’d always be poor and you believed him?” Her hands went to her hips.
Oh boy. She was winding up, I could feel it. “I don’t know that I consciously decided to believe it, but yeah, I do kind of wonder if I’m cut out to be a successful business owner.” I shrugged like it was no big deal.
Which just made her angrier based on the fire shooting out of her eyes. “Are you kidding me right now? You decided a couple weeks ago to start a business and you already have two custom orders. Do you have a website yet? Have you done any advertising yet?” She paused only to breathe. “No. No, you haven’t, which means you’ve barely gotten started and you’re already in the black. Do you know the stats on new businesses? Fifty percent of all new businesses fail after their fifth year! Only forty percent of small businesses are even profitable! You’re already ahead of the game, so don’t you dare start to doubt yourself now.”
“Whoa, there, Gary Vaynerchuk. That was an impressive rundown of stats on small businesses.” My chest swelled. She just went to bat for me against myself. That was some straight up badassery right there.
I took two giant steps, wrapped my arms around her waist to lift her up in the air, and spun her around. She squealed, putting her hands on my shoulders to steady herself. When I put her down, her frown had morphed into a shy smile.
“Thank you. I believe in myself and I love that you believe in me too.” I kissed her quickly, not wanting to go too far when I knew she had to leave for work. I swatted her on the ass. “Now get out of here so I can make more boards and build my empire, woman.”
She winked at me and went to grab all her stuff to head out the door. She swung it open and paused, looking back at me. “When I get home, let’s celebrate your board sales and the first official day of our official relationship.”
She stood there, framed in the soft morning light filtering through the doorway. So sure of herself she was spitting fire at me just moments ago and now hesitating like I might not want a relationship with her after all. All the blood in my body decided to dance in my veins at that very moment, leaving me giddy and a little nauseous if I was being honest.
I couldn’t even speak. Instead, I raced up to her, pinned her against the open door, and smashed her lips on mine, smearing her lip gloss and apologizing in between kisses. Some dude on a bike whistled at us, the warning I needed to back away and let her get to work.
“That color looks good on you.” She winked at me and left, hips sashaying down the walkway to her car. I swiped at my mouth and found dark red sticky stuff. Damn, how did women wear that shit?
Everything was falling into place. So why was I suddenly nervous?
25
Gabby
The weight of hosting a fun dinner for the group had dissipated the longer the evening wore on. The caterers had prepared the most delicious food, the house was a sparkling shrine from all our cleaning the night before, and each couple was on their best behavior. Kitty and Jasper were civil to each other as they explained the challenge handed down by their therapist. Natalia and Frank pawed at each other all night like the kiss heard ’round the world never happened. Lavender and John were their calm, peaceful selves. All was well.
“You got the camera taken down? How’d you do that?” Natalia eagerly questioned Rhett, wanting to know his exact words used with the producer so she could get their bedroom cam taken down too. I’m sure the editing team would be happy not to have to watch that video and see if anything made the cut. Those two were a little freaky with their affection. Case in point: Natalia’s pinky finger sucked inside Frank’s mouth right now. Who does that in front of other people?
“I avoid the camera by simply sleeping in another room,” Jasper said loudly from the club chair in the corner of the living room.
Kitty, all the way over on the couch, shook her head, her eyes downcast. “Lord…”
Everyone knew exactly why he was sleeping in another room and it had nothing to do with a camera. To cover the dark cloud that had descended over the group, I hopped up, ever the consummate host.
“Who’s ready for some dessert?”
Rhett stood too, ready to help me and probably ready to get the hell out of the room. Conversation with this group was like walking a tightrope. You had to actively manage where the topic led in order to keep from falling to the ground below.
The front door crashed open behind me, banging against the wall with a loud boom, startling everyone. I spun around quickly, b
ut then froze. There in the doorway to my home, the outside lamp illuminating only one side of his face and leaving the other side in total darkness like some kind of scary Halloween mask, stood Hewitt.
My ex.
Rhett’s half-brother.
The douchecanoe.
With his gaze firmly stuck on me, he slammed the door shut behind him and strode in, like he owned the damn place. Fuckers always gotta fuck with you.
“Hey, you need to leave.” Rhett, not having the same paralysis problem I was currently experiencing, stepped in front of me and put his hand out to stop Hew.
Hew, being the asshole he was, simply stepped around Rhett and stood at my side, only inches away from me, staring a hole into the side of my head. Hello, personal space?
I could hear our friends behind me murmuring questions and speculations as to who this interloper could be. But again, I stayed frozen, unable to move. Hew grabbed my arm and it was the shiver of revulsion that swept up my spine that broke the spell. Yanking my arm from his grasp, I turned my head to see him and stepped back.
“You’re not welcome here, Hew. You need to leave.” Not a waver or a stutter to be found. Rhett appeared beside me, his hand on my low back, giving me the courage I needed to continue dealing with this asshole.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Gabby?” Hew’s face twisted into a look I’d never seen before. “Is this some sort of joke to get back at me? How immature do you have to be to date my little brother and parade it around on national television?”
All the blood drained from my face. “It-it’s not a joke.” Shit. That definitely had a waver and a stutter.
He advanced on me and Rhett tightened his hold on me by wrapping his arm around my waist. The fact that he was nervous made me more nervous.
“What? You couldn’t keep me interested so you went for my brother instead?” He flung his words at me, along with some spit.
I could see the cameramen closing in on us out of the corner of my eye. As much as I felt like I’d been pummeled by Hew, I had to keep up the pretense, right? But wait. It wasn’t even a pretense anymore.
I turned into Rhett’s chest, my hand lying on his impressive pec muscle. Despite the nerves jumping inside my gut, I curved my mouth into a saucy smile, deciding to lay it on thick.
“You’ve got it all backward, Hew. When you cheated on me, you did me a favor. I didn’t realize I’d chosen the wrong O’Donnell brother.” I looked up at Rhett adoringly, seeing he’d gone pale beneath his freckles.
Hew clearly needed to have the last word. I couldn’t diss him on television and get away with it. “Enjoy yourself. I’m sure he’ll get bored with you eventually too. And I hope you have enough money to bankroll this loser. Then again, you always did like throwing your money in people’s faces.” He tossed his hand in Rhett’s direction, but still didn’t acknowledge his existence even as he eviscerated him. Then he spun on his heel and left, slamming the door closed and leaving the party in a charged silence.
The cameras kept rolling as I stood there in Rhett’s arms, the two of us ramrod straight, our hearts beating out of our chests. We were smashed together physically, yet I’d never felt so apart from him. Hew had come in and spread his worms again, lashing us both with hateful words and leaving us a bloody mess on the floor in his wake.
The silence stretched out for what felt like an hour but was probably only a few minutes. Natalia jumped up from Frank’s lap and I almost laughed out loud at how much restraint she must have summoned to stay quiet for that long. Well, I would have laughed if I was still a person with a range of emotions available to choose from. As it was, I was just a shell of a human being after that little fiasco gutted me.
“Hold up. Do you mean to tell me Rhett is your ex’s little brother?” Natalia’s face barely moved, but from the way she stood with her feet wide apart and hand on hip, I could guess she was shocked.
All the blood that had left my head when Hew barged in came rushing back to pool in my cheeks. I knew this was a bad idea. I’d known it the moment I found out who Rhett really was and yet I’d still gone forward with this whole stupid scheme. My own desperate need to flaunt my happiness in my ex’s face brought me here. Here being a place of total and complete humiliation on national television. Made worse by the fact I actually had real feelings for Rhett now, so not only did I lie to everyone at the beginning, but now I really was falling for my ex’s brother.
Rhett stepped forward as I remained mute and drowning in my own shame spiral. “Yes, I’m Hewitt’s half-brother, though we don’t have a relationship at all at this point.”
Natalia shimmied up to me. Was there music playing or a disco ball nearby I’d missed? “Damn, girl. I didn’t think you had it in you. I’m so proud!” She wrapped her little bird arms around me and pulled me in for a hug that felt as warm and fuzzy as squeezing a scarecrow.
I laughed—okay, guffawed—in her ear, which made her pull back in a hurry. She was proud of me? What the hell?
Lavender took up where Natalia left off. “Oh, honey, that man was horrible. Don’t internalize his words. Let them flow through you and watch them float away in your mind’s eye.” She, too, pulled me in for a hug, but this one felt like floating in a cocoon, where everything was soft and light and warm. No wonder she was a professional.
I could hear the guys talking to Rhett, backslaps and handshakes all around. Rhett still looked pale, which was the only thing to pierce this blanket of mortification that threatened to pull me under. It was one thing for Hew to tear me down like usual. It was another to see him do it to Rhett.
I pasted on a smile and tried to converse, but I wasn’t really there. I couldn’t have told you what we talked about for the next thirty minutes. Everything was lost in a fog while I tried to sort through all the emotions and thoughts running through my head. Eventually, the ladies got the hint that I was emotionally exhausted and rounded up their husbands to leave. As soon as the door slammed shut, the silence in the house seemed to be closing in on me. Rhett and I eyed each other from across the room and while I desperately wanted to go to him, I felt too broken to make the long trek across the carpet. How did you console someone else when you had nothing left to give?
“Gabby.” He reached out first, his hand hovering in the space between us. All I had to do was walk over there and take it.
I wanted to. I wanted to cuddle up with Rhett and talk it through like a mature adult. I wanted to let all the guilt go. I wanted to give him comfort and heal his wounds.
I just…couldn’t.
So I stood there, frozen in indecision until he let his hand drop. I watched as the light went out in his eyes and he walked out of the room and up the stairs, shoulders slumped. Seeing his retreat was what broke the fog that had clung to me since the moment I saw Hew. Pain pierced through first, making me feel as if my heart was being crushed inside my chest. My feet refused to move and my mouth couldn’t form words adequate enough to call Rhett back. Instead, I sank to the floor and sobbed, wishing the tears to wash away all my problems.
I cried for all the years I wasted with Hew. I cried for the little boy and the grown man still terrorized by an evil person. I cried for what Rhett and I could have had if it weren’t for the big, huge, not-so-secret secret that stood between us and always would. And last but never least, I cried for myself. The person I’d become, the way I allowed someone else to change me with their emotional manipulation, the way I let revenge drive my decisions even after I was free from the bastard, and the woman I was now, who let the best man she’d ever met walk out of the room without saying a damn word to keep him.
I was despicable.
And despicable women sleep on the couch, a blanket haphazardly thrown across them, tears soaking the pillow. Sleep eventually came and when it did, I got no rest, because when I woke up, all my problems were still there.
And Rhett was gone.
“I don’t know what to do, Lil.”
I paced from one end
of my house to the other, the cell phone clutched tightly in my hand. I’d unloaded all the details of last night onto Lily-Marie the minute I realized Rhett wasn’t anywhere to be found in the house. His car was gone, but all his clothes and surfboard supplies were still there, so I took comfort in that for the time being. I didn’t know why I was so panicked he was gone, given I’d ignored him last night, but somewhere in my confused brain I knew things were always better when he was with me.
“Well, first of all, I know you haven’t experienced a lot of time yet with Rhett, but, honey, I know you. I can tell you’re—well, taken by him. I won’t use the L-word and freak you out entirely, but I really think you need to change your mind about the brother thing. Why does it matter if he’s Hew’s brother? You know he’s nothing like him, he doesn’t even talk to the guy, so why does it have to matter?”
I tried to come up with all the reasons it definitely should matter, but other than some sort of urban legend bro-code, I came up empty. Sighing and stubborn to the end, I said, “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t like that we have this shared history with that asshole. Like, we have the same weakness. Aren’t you supposed to find someone who’s the yin to your yang? We’re two yins, no yang!”
Baby Loni made a cooing noise through the phone. Lily-Marie was probably walking around with her snuggled up against her shoulder. I wanted to come visit and hold Loni and never leave Lily-Marie’s house. Everything seemed so simple for her, while my life was a total train wreck.
“First, that makes no sense, Gabs. Second, go find Rhett. Talk. To. Him.” Loni interrupted with a louder screech that made me reconsider visiting.
“That’s seriously your advice? Talk to him?” I wrinkled my nose. That was lame, even for Lily-Marie.
She huffed, her voice getting louder than necessary. “Listen, beyotch. I don’t have time to Dr. Phil this with you. Talk to the boy, then call me back.”
