Doctor Dragon: Earth Dragons Series: Book 6

by Hartnady, Charlene

  Britt laughed. “And maybe our hands…” she rubbed hers together. “Since we scooped it up.”

  “We?”

  “Craig and I.”

  Druze secretly hoped he ate the popcorn Britt had picked up. Not that fucker Craig.

  She laughed. “You should see your face.”

  “You’re loving this.” He couldn’t help but to smile as well.

  “Maybe.” She shrugged.

  “No, you’re loving that I ate popcorn off the floor…pretty much. Am I that bad of a person?”

  She looked to the side and then back at him again. “Not bad…no.”

  “You hate me that much?” It just came out but only because he hated the idea of her hating him.

  “Hate is a strong word.” She didn’t deny it.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” He widened his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “No wonder people don’t buy us.”

  “It won’t be long now. We just need to hang in there.” Brit still wasn’t denying it.

  He clenched his jaw for a moment or two. “It’ll be at least two weeks, if not more. It’s a long time, Britt. I can’t keep getting into fights.” He leaned over and put a hand on her leg. By her knee. No funny business. She pulled back so sharply that the bowl of popcorn fell on the floor.

  Druze couldn’t help but wonder if that was what had happened before with Craig. It got his blood up.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she snapped.

  “We need to get better at being together. We need to get more comfortable with one another,” he tried, speaking softly and carefully.

  “That isn’t going to happen.” No hesitation.

  “How can I fix things?” What was he saying?

  “What, so that we can be more convincing?”

  “It wasn’t personal when I fired you.” Druze knew he had hurt her.

  “It was personal to me,” she blurted. Her eyes blazing. No! They were filling with unshed tears. Fuck!

  “I wish… I…” Druze stood up, he shook his head. This was not a road he could go down. “I should go.”

  “Don’t you dare. You sit your ass down.” She pointed at the sofa.

  He shook his head. “I should leave. You were right, we’ll get by. I’ll punch a few more males. Call me if there’s a problem. Be careful though, Britt.” Even if he hated the fact, he worried about her.

  “Dr. Baker,” she snapped back. “You should call me Dr. Baker and since when do you care about me?”

  “I do…care.” He shouldn’t have said that. “Be careful, Dr. Baker. That’s all. Just be careful.” He turned.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he heard her get up. Heard her heart racing. “You run so hot and cold. I can hardly keep up.”

  “I’m trying to make an impossible situation work. That’s all.”

  “That’s not all. Craig was right,” she muttered the last. At least, he was sure that’s what she had said.

  Craig was right.

  What the hell did that mean?

  “Right about what?” he folded his arms. What bullshit had the male been feeding her?

  “You want me and then you don’t want me. Almost in the same breath. You’re nice to me and then, you treat me like…I’m nothing. Like you’re mad with me for something. I’m not sure what I did, by the way. What I do know is that I don’t deserve it.”

  “You’re also up and down,” he retaliated even though Brittney was right. It was all true. “We’re play acting. Of course it’s up and—”

  “The way you are has nothing to do with this acting farce. If we’re going to keep trying to fool people, you need to tell me what everyone else in this whole lair knows about you that I don’t. I pretty sure your…attitude has something to do with that.”

  “No! It’s not important. It’s private. My business.” He didn’t want Britt to know. “You said you wouldn’t psychoanalyze me again and yet here you are.” She’d hate him for forever if she ever found out. Then again, she hated him now although, he suspected there was still something deep inside her. Something that could still be ignited. Something that would be snuffed out for good if he told her. He hated that idea. There would never be anything between them, but he didn’t want that last vestige of feeling she had for him removed for good. It would…it would…he just didn’t want that to happen.

  “I wouldn’t psychoanalyze you if I knew what the hell was going on with you. It’s also definitely not private! That’s bull and you know it. Everyone knows. Look, I agree, I think you should leave.” She pointed at the door. Her eyes blazing, this time purely with anger.

  Druze sat back down. “It would be better if you didn’t know.” He tried to make her understand.

  “Better for who? Look, leave! I’ll find out from someone else.”

  “No! You can’t do that. It would be a dead giveaway that we aren’t together.”

  “I’m your girlfriend and I don’t know about some lifechanging event that happened to you, Druze. How do you think that looks? The moment Topaz realized I didn’t know, she dismissed me…dismissed us as a couple. Others will feel the same,” she pleaded. Her whole stance softened. “Maybe I can help somehow,” her voice softened up as well.

  Shit! There it was, that tiny bit of her that still…cared for him. That still felt something, at least. “I can’t…tell you.” He shook his head, standing again. “I don’t want you to…” he stopped there.

  “You don’t want me to what?” she slapped her hands against her thighs.

  “I don’t want you to hate me,” he blurted.

  “Too late for that, bucko.” She snorted, but he could see it was false bravado.

  “As much as you’d love to hate me, Britt, you don’t but you would if I told you what happened.”

  She shook her head. “Either you tell me what the hell the issue is or I’m…I’ll…”

  “You’ll leave?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “You realize that this is typical you behavior? You’re selfish, Druze. After everything, you owe me the truth. I’ve been the brunt of whatever it is that made you this way and I don’t understand why. I don’t understand why you are the way you are, and you won’t tell me for selfish reasons.”

  “My mate killed herself and I’m to blame.” He spoke so softly that at first, he didn’t think she’d heard him. “It happened eight years ago. There, now you know.” He took a step towards the door.

  Britt stood up. “No! That’s just the beginning. Tell me what happened. Please.”

  “You’re right. I’m selfish and heartless. I’m a terrible person.” He looked down at the floor, feeling pain blossom inside him. “I’m to blame for what happened. I need to stay focused on finding a cure. Not just for the Ferals, or the dragons, but for all the species. If not a cure than decent solutions for the females. It’s…it’s hard on them…being infertile.”

  “Was she infertile? Your mate?”

  Druze nodded. “Yes. Now you know what happened and we can drop it.”

  “Why are you to blame though? I don’t see how it could be your fault. You didn’t make her infertile.”

  Druze couldn’t tell her. “Nope but I did cause what happened, and I’ll never forgive myself.” Like a little pussy, his voice hitched. He didn’t deserve to feel sorry for himself. Druze cleared his throat.

  “You made your mate end her life…I still don’t get it.” Britt frowned. “I don’t believe you’re to blame.” She shrugged. “I don’t buy it.”

  Druze scrubbed a hand over his face. “Well best you do because it’s true.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “It isn’t. You should stop. You should get therapy. You’ve taken this guilt onto yourself and for…”

  “I left her.” He growled, his teeth clenched. “There. Now you know. I left my female because she couldn’t have kids. I left her to pursue a human…a female who could give me young.” It ripped his heart out to say the words. He waited for hate to consume her.

/>   Britt’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Instead of her eyes filling with hate, they filled with confusion. “I thought dragons mated for life.” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Okay, so you blame yourself.” He could see that her mind was working.

  “Yes, I’ve dedicated my life to finding a cure in Amethyst’s name. I need to make amends for what I did…what I caused.” He raked a hand through his hair, squeezing the back of his neck. “If I work at it every day until I die, I still won’t do enough or achieve enough. I can’t have this attraction to you. I’m so angry at myself for acting on it. For allowing myself to develop feelings for…” By scale but he’d said too much.

  “You have feelings for me?” Why wasn’t she shoving him out the door? Calling him names? She looked like she was still thinking it through. “You left your mate.” In fact, she sounded shocked.

  “Yes.” He snarled. “Now you know.” More evenly delivered. “Let’s just get through the next few weeks. If you can’t pretend anymore, I’ll understand.”

  “I’ve never met anyone who’s more committed. More dedicated than you. I suspect that’s just how you are as a person. It’s how you would be if you were in a relationship.” She looked him head on, she had to crane her head to do it. “I don’t believe you would leave your mate. I don’t believe it for a second.”

  What?

  Druze frowned. Britt was the first person who had ever said that to him. Druze sank down onto the sofa. His legs felt like they had given out. He locked his hands together over his lap. He’d thought she would hate him and send him away, and she’d have been right to do so. Instead, she’d seen him, understood him. Moreover, she’d believed in him. Pity she was wrong! “It was my fault, Britt,” he spoke softly, even though emotions surged through him. “Maybe it didn’t happen in quite the way that everyone thinks, but I am still to blame.” There was a growl to his voice that couldn’t be helped.

  “How did it happen? Why are you to blame?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” He fought to keep his voice even. To keep from snarling at her. Britt didn’t deserve his outbursts. They had never been meant for her. Only for himself.

  “Of course it does. You said it didn’t happen the way everyone things. Please, tell me what happened.” She begged him with her eyes.

  Druze knew that he really shouldn’t tell her how things had really gone down, but he couldn’t help it. He’d held the real truth inside for so long. Years and years of holding in and holding back. It had festered and boiled in him and now it needed to come out. “The truth is that I never left Amethyst, my female asked me to leave. She insisted, but I never should have listened to her.” He shook his head. “I knew she wasn’t handling her infert…our infertility problems very well. She would go from being extremely happy to sad and depressed. There were days I couldn’t get her out of bed, let alone to leave our chamber. We still visited friends and family and vice versa and she always seemed fine. She made me promise not to tell anyone about her depression.”

  He pushed out a breath, glancing up at Britt who looked at him with rapt interest.

  “I know now that Amethyst was severely depressed. I knew something was wrong then too, but I didn’t get her any help. When the kings made the decision to bring in human females for us to mate and breed with, she hit her worst low. I spent a lot of time with her, to make sure she was okay, but I never worried she would take her own life.” He shook his head, pausing for a few moments. “It never occurred to me once that Amethyst would actually kill herself. Not once. Soon after the first hunt, her spirits suddenly lifted. I was so happy.” He felt his mouth tug up at the memory. “She seemed fine. I thought we would be fine. It went on for a couple of weeks, which was great. I actually thought she was better. That she had finally come to terms with us not having kids. I had! I was okay with it.” He shrugged. This was the hard part. He didn’t feel like going on with the story.

  “What happened?” Britt reached out and touched his arm. She squeezed once and let go.

  “One day out of the blue she told me to go. She packed up my stuff and told me that I needed to leave. She seemed fine!” he choked on the word because he knew that she hadn’t been fine at all, not even close. It took him a half a minute to compose himself. He was thankful that Britt didn’t try to push him.

  “I tried to change her mind. You see, she wanted me to win a human in a hunt. She wanted me to have a family. Amethyst was unable to provide me…us with one and felt that I shouldn’t be subject to the same fate, when it was her fault. Again, she seemed fine. There was nothing I could say or do to change her mind. I eventually left. I never intended to actually go on one of those damned hunts. I thought I would give her some space and then try to talk some sense into her.”

  He pushed out a breath. “She told everyone that I was starting a new life and what the plans were. I had plenty of people pissed at me. I didn’t want them to know the real story. I was trying to protect Amethyst. Trying to win her back at the same time. I didn’t want people thinking she was crazy, or that there was something wrong with her. I firmly believed I could win her back and change her mind about her silly plan. She kept insisting though. A few days went by…I found her.” He choked on the words. His eyes stung. He felt something run down his cheek. Fuck! Druze swiped a hand over his cheek. “A silver blade and the bathtub. She wrote a letter…I still have it. She could see I was never going to move on while she was alive. She killed herself because of me.” He hit a hand against his chest. Fuck! He was crying. He couldn’t stop. A grown male crying! Druze sniffed. “I need to go.” He stood up.

  So did Brittney. She was crying too. “It’s not your fault.” She shook her head. “It sounds like she wasn’t well. You’ve tried to protect her all these years and in doing so you’ve hurt yourself. You’re not selfish. You’re punishing yourself.”

  “I need to suffer. I don’t deserve anything.”

  “You do.” She grabbed his hand.

  “I don’t.” As much as he wanted to wrap his fingers around hers, he couldn’t allow himself. “I left even though I knew she wasn’t…well. I knew! I am every bit to blame for her death.”

  “You didn’t think she would harm herself though. How could you know? You were carrying out your mate’s wishes. You had a plan to get her back. She begged you not to tell anyone about what was really going on and even now you feel you have to protect her. All very noble and so unselfish. You’re a good guy, Druze.”

  “I’m glad you know.” He nodded once. “Thank you.”

  “Stay.” She smiled at him. “Sit.” She gestured to the couch they had just stood up from. “I’ll get you something to drink and we can watch the stupid movie.”

  “I can’t.” He shook his head, taking a step back. “I need to head out.” And another.

  “This is you denying yourself anything good. Denying yourself everything. You don’t deserve that, Druze.” She took a step towards him. Her eyes pleading.

  He burned to tell her…things he couldn’t. He’d already said too much. “Another lifetime and things would have been different.” He wanted to reach out. To touch her. He couldn’t!

  “They could be different now. You don’t have to carry this all on your own. Stone would want to know the truth. You’ve punished yourself long enough for something that isn’t your fault.”

  “No!” Panic threatened to sweep him away. “Promise me that you will never tell him, or anyone…please, Britt. It’s very important.”

  She gave him the sweetest, saddest smile. “I would never betray your trust like that. It’s your story to tell.”

  “Have a good evening.”

  “Stay and watch the movie?” she tried, her dark eyes on him.

  “I’ll see you in the morning.” He turned and walked away.

  Chapter 21

  Later that night…

  Druze tossed the towel on the ground using more force than necessary. Maybe he should have stayed and watched that damned movie with Br
itt.

  No!

  Not a fuck!

  If he had stayed, things would have taken a turn. One of them would have made a move. Probably him. More than likely. Definitely. There was no way he could have stayed in that room with Brittney without wanting to hold her. Without doing more. Britt believed in him when no one else had. Warmth spread inside him. Druze felt the corners of his mouth pull up into a smile. Had he been too hard on himself? Was Britt right?

  Druze raked a hand through his still damp hair. He’d confessed he had feelings for her. What an idiot! It would be more difficult to keep his distance now. He had to keep his distance. Didn’t want to but had to.

  Maybe Britt had been right about confiding in Stone. Maybe he needed to tell the male the truth after all these years. What the hell was he thinking? That was never going to happen. The way Britt had reacted had been…it had been unexpected. She was so sweet and kind and beautiful. She was everything good and right. Longing hit him straight in the gut. It hit him deep. Like a sucker punch. It was a longing not just to take Britt to his bed but to have so much more. For a few moments he was tempted to go to her. To knock on her door. To…

  Fuck that! He didn’t deserve Britt and she sure as hell didn’t deserve an asshole like him. He’d keep his distance somehow. Even if it killed him.

  A knock sounded.

  Shit!

  Fuck!

  That could only be one person. What now?

  Another knock. Soft. Timid. Sweet. It had to be Britt. Sweet, kind, a bit of a spitfire as well. She knew how to stand up for herself when it mattered.

  “Let me in,” her voice punched through the wood. “I know you’re in there.”

  Druze walked to the door and placed his hand against the grain of the wood. “Go away.” He tried to sound gruff and succeeded. It only made him feel like a dick all over again.

  “Don’t give me that. Open the door right now, Druze.”

  He found himself smiling. This female. “You should go.” He tried again.

  “I’m not leaving until you let me in,” she sounded like she meant it. “Don’t make me kick down this door.”