Agent Undone

by Cassidy Reyne

  “You don’t have to do the dishes. I’ll do them tomorrow, just leave them where they are.”

  Carter smiled and told her he’d do the dishes as he had cooked, and she wasn’t feeling well. When he reminded her of being sick, she suddenly yawned widely and he couldn’t help chuckle at the surprised look on her face.

  “Come on, off to bed with you. You’ll feel better in the morning if you get a good night’s sleep.”

  “I guess. It’s just… never mind, thank you for everything.” Madison looked at Carter from under her lashes. Her fingers were twisting the hem of her tank top in a nervous gesture.

  “Tell me, what were you going to say?” He asked her gently while trying to catch her flickering gaze with his.

  “It’s nothing really… only, I have this feeling something bad is going to happen and I can’t shake it. Never mind, it’s probably just the fever having scrambled my brain.” She straightened up and shook her hair off her shoulders. “It’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Carter studied her face, partially hidden by her long, glossy tresses. He realized it wasn’t nerves that made her fingers twist and curl in her lap, it was fear, and he had no idea what to do about it.

  “I could stay, if you like. I mean, I could sleep on the sofa so I would hear if anything was going on. I’m sure everything will be fine, but I don’t mind staying. If it’d make you feel better, that is.”

  “Would you, really? I don’t know what's the matter with me, I'm not normally like this. I’ve been living here on my own for a year now and it’s never bothered me. In fact, I love the solitude. It’s given me a lot of time to think.”

  “You did seem to be having a nightmare earlier. I don’t know what it was all about, though you were in a bit of distress for a short while.” Carter chose his words carefully.

  “Oh? And I didn’t say what or who I was afraid of?” She looked worried.

  “No, you really only moaned a little and moved around in your sleep, but there was nothing specific.” Carter reassured her.

  Relief flashed in her eyes which made Carter even more confused. Surely, if you knew what your nightmare was all about you could dispel the specter and deal with it rationally?

  Madison yawned big again. “Sorry, I can’t seem to stop.” Carter suddenly noticed the pale cheeks and dark circles under her eyes returning and knew he needed to get her back to bed before she fell asleep where she was sitting.

  “Off to bed with you. I’ll be on the sofa if you need me. Here, take this pitcher of water in case you get thirsty.” He watched her close the door to her bedroom and went to make himself comfortable on the couch. Luckily for him, it was the big, squishy, leather kind that easily accommodated his large frame.

  Madison was almost back to normal the next morning and wanted to go running as usual, but Carter refused to let her. She was still weak from the virus which had come and gone real fast, but it had left its mark on her energy levels. He told her to take a couple of days off from exercising and get some rest. Grudgingly, she agreed as she didn’t even have the energy to argue with him.

  Carter went back to his place later that morning to freshen up and change his clothes after sleeping in them. After checking the contents of his fridge, he quickly realized he needed to do another grocery run and decided to pick up a few things for Madison while he was out. It felt good being able to help her out and make sure she had everything she needed. He just wasn’t sure where all that helpfulness came from.

  After he got back from Port St. George and had dropped off the groceries at Madison’s, he decided to use the little gym in the spare room for a workout and then go for a swim in the ocean. He had some pent up energy to get rid of and jogging wasn't going to cut it. His leg had also started to ache again after being still for twenty four hours.

  Chapter Eight

  A few days later, Carter and Madison resumed their early morning runs. It was now April and the weather had turned noticeably warmer. Tourist season was stepping up and their quiet stretch of beach would soon be filled with throngs of people enjoying their vacations in the sun. For now though, they still had it to themselves and relished the peace and quiet.

  “Let’s take it easy this morning. You just got over a pretty nasty virus, so you shouldn’t overdo it.”

  “Thanks, but I’m fine. I’ve been resting for days and I really need some exercise. Come on, or are you worried I’ll beat you to the cape?” Madison’s laugh trilled through the still morning air and filled Carter’s chest with something worryingly close to happiness. He quickly shut that thought down and ignored the unfamiliar lightness inside him. Hit and quit, he reminded himself, as he’d done so many times since he met her. He really needed to start listening to his inner voice.

  “You haven’t beaten me so far, so I’m not too worried. Just don’t want you to collapse on me so I have to carry you all the way back.” Carter grinned, his blue eyes sparkling and dimples forming in his cheeks.

  “Not going to happen. I feel great. Better make sure it’s not you collapsing as there’s no way I could even begin to drag your backside back here.”

  “No chance of me getting tired, sweetheart. I’m in top physical condition, I’ll have you know. Wait a minute, are you calling me heavy?”

  “Yep, of course you are, that leg of yours could keep running for hours, right? You’re definitely heavier than me, that much I know.” Madison laughed again and Carter joined her with a chuckle. She was right. His leg was almost healed, but the muscles still had a way to go before they were back to the same strength they were before he got shot. He could just picture her trying to move his bulk even a few inches and could also picture her falling on top of him while doing it… He sighed inwardly at the turn his imagination took. It seemed to be the only direction his thoughts wanted to go when it concerned Madison. His body reacted as usual, causing more silent groaning on his part. He really had to get himself under control, but there was a complete, and very frustrating, disconnect between his brain and a specific part of his anatomy. No matter how hard he tried, the problem only seemed to be getting worse.

  “Ok, you’ve got me there. You still won’t beat me unless I let you, though.” The mock stern frown on his face turned to a grin and he soon burst out laughing at the pout on her face.

  “You wish. Once your leg is fully healed, we’ll have to have a real race and then we’ll see. I’m not going to take advantage of you in your injured state.”

  Carter arched one eyebrow even though he knew Madison was right. She was a fast runner and could easily whoop his ass every time they went out jogging together. Mostly, they kept a steady pace and ran side by side so they could talk if they wanted to.

  After a quick warm up and a few stretches, she made him follow her all the way to the cape at a fast pace. He tried to get her to slow down a little bit on the way back, but she seemed fine, so he let her set her own speed. His leg was giving him less and less trouble, but he still had to get it back to its full strength, which would take time and work.

  On Saturday morning, as they neared her cottage after their run, Carter was wrestling with himself over wanting to ask Madison out for coffee or lunch in the village, but also not wanting to scare her off. She was still skittish, and he wasn’t entirely sure she wouldn't bolt and disappear completely. Then he decided he needed to just man up and ask her. After all, she had asked him to stay the night on her sofa when she was ill. Granted, she’d probably not been thinking too clearly with the fever running high, but she also hadn’t seemed uneasy the next morning when he’d been cooking breakfast for her.

  “Hey, Maddie. Can I ask you something?” Carter stopped on the sand just below her beach house and turned to face her. She stopped as well, bending forward to catch her breath. As she straightened, she looked at him with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

  “Did you just call me Maddie?”

  Carter’s stomach dropped. Had he just made a big mistake? The nickname had popped out of his mout
h before he’d even thought about it. Maybe she hated it, or someone she disliked had called her that? Ugh, why didn’t he think before he spoke?

  “Yeah, sorry, it just sort of came out. I won’t do it again, I promise.”

  “No, it’s ok. It’s just that no one has ever called me that before. I like it. It makes me feel as if I’ve got a friend. So, what did you want to ask me?” She looked at him earnestly, her emerald green eyes sparkling in the sunshine. She was standing close enough for him to see little flecks of gold mixed in with the green and he felt mesmerized by them. Suddenly, all rational thought went out of the window and he could feel other parts of him respond to the almost hypnotic gaze. He tore his eyes away and tried to focus on something else, but they just landed on her perfect, plump lips instead. He saw a pink tongue dart out quickly to wet them and he nearly groaned out loud.

  “Carter? Is something wrong?” Her voice came from far away and his mind snapped back to reality with an almost audible pop. His body was so hard it was throbbing, and he barely knew what to do with himself. He had to remind himself to breathe and thought of glaciers and icebergs. None of it worked.

  “What? No, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to ask if you would like to have coffee with me in at the diner this afternoon? We could walk there, or I could pick you up in the car?” He watched her shutters coming up and cursed himself for not being more patient. “I’m sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that. Forget I mentioned it, ok?”

  There it was, that fear he kept seeing in the depths of her eyes. He didn’t know what had caused her to be so afraid of men, or was it people in general? Something had happened to her that made her keep her defenses up. Maybe she’d had a rough childhood or been bullied at school. Whatever it was, he could tell she was now fighting a war in her head whether to accept his invitation or not. He held his breath, mentally urging her to say yes. He wanted to spend time with her when they weren’t hot and sweaty from jogging, or her being close to delirious with fever. He didn’t mind the hot and sweaty so much, especially if it came from amazing and satisfying sex. Carter felt his desire surge again and his dick started to throb so hard it was painful. It was incredibly inappropriate to lust after a woman who was clearly very wary of men, for whatever reason. He really had to get a handle on himself or things were going to get very embarrassing. That thought had him stifle another groan at the apt, but unintentional, pun. A lot of cold showers were suddenly appearing in his near future. While all these thoughts zipped through his head, Madison worried her bottom lip before raising her chin. “Yes, I’d love to have coffee with you. Would you mind if I met you at the diner around two? I have some work to do first this morning, and I’d rather drive there myself.”

  “You would? I mean, that’s great. Sure, that's absolutely fine. I’ll see you there this afternoon then, ok?” Carter had an inexplicable, happy feeling in his chest as he jogged back down the beach after watching Madison walk up to her house. He had no intention of examining that feeling further, though, and just kept telling himself he was not looking for a relationship. Hooking up with Madison for a different kind of exercise than what they’d been doing so far was another matter entirely. One he wasn’t sure he’d get to experience before his leg had fully healed and he had to go back to work.

  Back at the house, he showered and changed into a pair of khaki shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. After eating a light lunch of salad and grilled chicken, he picked up the phone and checked in with his boss.

  “How’s the leg holding up, Hollis?” Don Kampeche got straight to the point as always. He rarely had time for pleasantries and never spent much time just shooting the breeze.

  “Getting there, I guess. I still get pains whenever I overdo it, or if I stay still for too long. Difficult to find that happy medium, but I’m working on it.”

  “Glad to hear it. We need you back here as soon as possible. Not until that leg has fully healed, though. We can’t have an op go to hell because you weren’t on top of your game. How much longer do you think it’ll take?”

  “I’m not sure, to be perfectly honest. Some days I think I’m almost there and the next I’ve taken three steps back. I’m doing everything I can to speed it up, though, I promise.” Carter could almost feel his boss’ frustration at having one of his best agents, and Team Commander, out of action for so long. They were always short of people, the demands of the job saw to that, and every day the drugs kept flowing onto the streets of every town in America. It was a disheartening task at times, but the alternative, allowing the floodgates to stay open, was not an option for anyone in the DEA.

  “I thought you might say that. Ok, well, as soon as you think you’re ready, get the doc to give you the all clear and I’ll put your team back under your authority. I’m sure Mr Cross will be very happy to have you back. I don’t think he enjoys being no. 2 to Darryl Gaines.”

  “Gaines? That’s who you put in charge of my people? Come on, you know he’s not leadership material. The guy is arrogant and so up his own ass he can’t even tell in from out. He’s a fucking liability!” Carter groaned. He couldn’t believe the worst agent in DEA history had been put to command his team. It should have been Nathan’s job. He knew why the prick had got it, though. His father was a Senator and good friends with the Director of the agency, and had probably had a word in his ear. Fucking favors of the Washington elite! They had no idea how things worked in the field, and cared even less whether someone died due to the incompetence of a leader or not. As long as they got to collect IOU’s the way kids collected baseball cards, they didn’t care who got in the way.

  “You know just as well as I do how things work around here. It wasn’t my choice to put Gaines in charge, and I’ve been trying to keep him out of the field for as long as possible. Cross is making every effort to keep a lid on things for me as well, but this is why I need you back.”

  Carter felt torn after the conversation with his boss. He wanted to get back to work as soon as he could, but that would also mean leaving Madison behind. Wait, what was he thinking? He wasn’t leaving her behind. Not ready to settle down, remember? You are not relationship material. Quick fuck, thanks, and goodbye. That was all he wanted out of women, nothing more, nothing less. So, why did the thought of not seeing Maddie again make him feel so pissed off? Carter shook his head at his own stupid thoughts. As soon as his leg was healed, he was going back to Virginia Beach to take control of his team and go back out into the field where he belonged — fighting scumbag cartel bosses and drug smugglers. End of story.

  Shortly before two in the afternoon, Carter jumped in his Jeep and drove the short distance to the diner. He found a table in a shaded corner on the terrace overlooking the sea and sat down to wait for Madison. It wasn’t long before he spotted her elfin silhouette against the large windows. Man, she really was tiny, and gorgeous. The dress she was wearing clung in all the right places, and he sighed heavily when he felt himself at half-mast again. Why was this woman having such an effect on him? He’d never had this problem before. He was normally totally in charge of himself and always looked for a specific type of woman to have some fun with. His preference was tall, willowy brunettes with large… Nope, he wasn’t even going to think it. He was in enough trouble with a certain part of his anatomy as it was. No need to make it worse.

  Madison was made her way through the little diner and joined him at the table under the colorful umbrella.

  “Hi, I’m glad you could make it. You look lovely.” Carter pulled out a chair for her and smiled.

  “Thanks, I would have called if I wasn’t going to come.” Madison sat down and returned his smile with one of her own. Her eyes darted around the little terrace and then seemed to relax after having scanned over the few other people sitting nearby. Carter couldn't help but notice the slight nervousness to her voice, yet decided not to comment.

  “What would you like?” He motioned the waitress over to take their order.

  “Could I have some iced tea, please, a
nd a slice of that lemon cheesecake I saw on the counter.” She looked at Carter questioningly.

  “Of course, anything you like. I’ll have a double espresso and some of that cheesecake as well.” The girl nodded and disappeared inside to place their order.

  They sat quietly for a minute, just looking out over the glittering sea and the pelicans gently bobbing on the water, occasionally disappearing under the surface in search of a fish to eat.

  “Tell me, what do you do when you’re not out running on the beach with me? You must have a job, right? Or are you on vacation? Leave of absence? Retired?” Carter’s eyes creased at the corners with humor, and a lopsided grin formed on his lips.

  “I write articles and blogs for some magazines on a freelance basis, and I’m also working on a book.”

  “You’re a writer? That’s interesting. What do you write about?” Carter leaned forward to hear more about Madison’s life. He realized this was the first time she’d revealed anything about herself.

  “The articles are mainly on the effects the government’s decisions and new policies have on real people working real jobs, where every penny they earn counts. So many politicians have absolutely no clue how their ideas will impact at grassroots level. I’m just trying to give some of them a voice so they at least have a fighting chance at being heard. My blog is to raise awareness for women coming out of abusive relationships and seeking help from shelters. Some of these women live every day in fear of their lives that their ex partners are going to find them and drag them back to whatever hell they escaped from. Their life stories are often harrowing and terribly heartbreaking. Many of them have young children who know nothing else, except seeing their mom beaten and abused by their fathers, or step-fathers, in many cases. They are so vulnerable and don’t deserve to grow up feeling terrified and always worrying about losing their mom to the violence.” Madison stopped talking and seemed to be swallowing back tears.