Can’t Hurry Love

by Nadine Millard

  Was being a country MD what he wanted for the rest of his life? Had Harvard Medical School been leading to a small private practice in Colorado? He lay there imagining his life just like this. Small town, quiet life, Beth by his side just — being there, watching movies and going on hikes.

  And a quiet voice, one getting louder every minute he spent with her, telling him that yeah, maybe everything in his life had been leading to this. Maybe everything he’d gone through had just been to help him appreciate what he had with Beth. Or could have, if he let himself.

  Maybe Elaine hadn’t broken him beyond repair.

  Maybe Beth was the fix he hadn’t even known he needed.

  Beth woke to complete silence and — she reached out a tentative hand meeting cool sheets — and alone. She opened one eye then the other. The room was definitely empty. A small table lamp cast a soothing light over everything — the dark, masculine furniture, the crisp white sheets. And her clothes thrown haphazardly around the room.

  Her stomach fluttered as she remembered in vivid detail Josh stripping every piece from her body, leaving no part of her untouched, un-kissed.

  Saints alive, that man knew his way around a female. She chose not to think of all the practice he must have had. She’d rather think it was because of their out-of-this-world connection.

  It had been unexpected though. And while she was happy, thrilled, actually, that they’d finally taken the next step toward… well, whatever this was, she was worried too. He’d never made a secret of the fact that he didn’t want anything serious. But his actions and his cryptic remarks had always given her just enough hope to ruin her for other men.

  She sat up and looked around for something to wear. She could get dressed into the shorts and tee she’d been wearing, but she couldn’t see her underwear, and she was not going out there looking like she was prepping for a wet t-shirt contest.

  There was a niggling voice in the back of her head getting louder by the second. What if Josh was a thank you, ma’am sort? What if he’d just taken the opportunity that had presented itself?

  She tried to imagine how she’d react if she walked out there, and he casually told her that he still wasn’t interested in a relationship.

  She imagined what someone like Brooke would do. Probably raise a brow and tell him it wasn’t that great anyway before gliding out like a queen.

  Paige? Well, nobody would ever be that cruel to Paige.

  Jenna might actually shoot a man who pissed her off.

  But Beth didn’t have any of those qualities. And Josh wasn’t just a man. He was the man, and — she knew she’d probably live to regret this — the man she was completely, utterly in love with.

  That once in a lifetime movie love she’d always wanted? This was it. And it was better, and scarier, than anything she could have imagined.

  If it was one-sided, she was one hundred percent sure she’d embarrass herself. She’d cry for sure. And she was not a pretty crier. When she cried, her face got all red and splotchy, and she sounded like a pig in heat.

  Spying a robe on the back of the attached bath door, she dove from the bed, wincing at the pain that shot through her ankle, and grabbed it before he came in and saw her naked. Which was ridiculous because he hadn’t just seen her naked, he’d also gotten to know her nakedness very well not that long ago.

  But if she was about to face rejection, she at least wanted to be covered up while she did it.

  It was tempting to just climb back under the covers and play dead like a possum. But Beth knew she had to pull on her big-girl pants, if she could find them, and get out there to face the music. She didn’t even know what time it was! For all she knew, Paige had sent out a search party for her.

  “Come on, Beth,” she whispered to herself facing the door as if she was walking to her doom. “Just get out there. If he brushes you off, it’s not the end of the world.”

  Her stomach clenched painfully, and she felt a moment of despair and disappointment with herself.

  Thinking back to all those pep talks Beth had given to Zoe about her horrible ex, Michael, and even about Beck before he’d gotten his act together, she had to wonder what had happened to her. She’d never imagined she’d be the girl waiting around for scraps of attention from a man. Yet here she was, half-naked in his bedroom, not knowing if she was about to be thrown out on her ear. If he did brush her off, that was it, she told herself fiercely. She would never speak to him again. Not ever.

  The robe was huge on her, but that didn’t matter. Once this part was out of the way she could find her clothing, all of her clothing, and be on her way.

  Cinching the belt of the robe around her waist, she took a deep breath and hobbled to the door, hating how vulnerable she felt but hoping that she at least covered it well enough.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Josh heard the bedroom door open, and he rushed down the hallway to stop Beth from walking on her sore ankle. He probably shouldn’t have left her alone, but he’d wanted to surprise her by cooking for her and, he could admit to himself, to keep her here with him for as long as possible.

  Her phone had been hopping with calls and texts, but he hadn’t wanted to invade her privacy by looking at it.

  His own had rung three times. Once from Ellen and twice from that Chicago number he didn’t recognise. And even though he’d told himself he’d answer the next time Ellen called; he’d ignored them all.

  He didn’t want anything spoiling this evening with Beth.

  Having already decided that he’d confess his past soon, he wanted to just enjoy some time with her. Time that wasn’t clouded by his hang-ups or tainted by his history.

  The door opened fully as she limped out and spotted him.

  Josh’s heart clenched at the sight of her.

  She was wearing his black robe, and he was shocked at the slam of desire he felt seeing her in it. It swamped her, but she still looked incredible. Beth Carroway was the only woman he’d ever known who could make a men’s robe look sexy. Her hair was loose around her shoulders in a tumble of platinum curls.

  She was stunning. Breathtaking. And, if he managed to get his shit together properly, his.

  She looked so unsure of herself, so vulnerable. And he knew it was his fault. The stupid back and forth all year, the pulling her closer then pushing her away — it had made her uncertain of his feelings. Probably half-scared that he’d want rid of her.

  Fixing that was an absolute priority.

  He walked forward until they were inches apart.

  “Hey,” he smiled, reaching out and fingering a stray curl.

  He watched, fascinated as her eyes darkened with the action. That was another thing he loved about her — liked, he amended quickly to himself. She wore everything she was feeling right there on her face for the world to see.

  “Hey,” she squeaked, and his felt his grin widen as her cheeks darkened.

  “You hungry?” he asked casually.

  “Oh… um…” There was still that uncertainty in her eyes.

  He leaned down and brushed his lips softly against hers. And then, because that wasn’t enough to even begin to satisfy him, he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him.

  When he finally let her up for air, she was gasping, her eyes glazed with desire.

  Josh was torn between checking on her foot and feeding her… and dragging her back into the bedroom to finish was he’d just started.

  Just then the smoke alarm went off, making the decision for him. He swore under his breath and darted back into the kitchen to turn off the oven.

  After opening the window to release some of the smoke filling the room, he went back to help Beth. “Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly. “I made a lasagne, but I’m not sure how edible it’s going to be.”

  Beth giggled. “If it tastes as good as it smells, I’d rather order pizza,” she said, and he loved that her nervousness seemed to have disappeared.

  “Pizza, it
is.” He bent and swept her into his arms, carrying her back to the couch. It felt incredible to finally be like this with her. And incredibly right.

  “Your phone’s been going a little crazy,” he said, reaching over and grabbing her purse to hand to her. “Maybe you should let whoever it is know that you’re alive, while I grab you a glass of wine. Red ok?”

  A flicker of uncertainty darkened her eyes again, but she nodded and reached inside her purse to take her phone out.

  He left her to her messaging while he went into the kitchen to grab the bottle of merlot he’d opened and two glasses.

  When he came back into the room, she was typing furiously, a slight frown on her brow.

  “Everything good?” he asked as casually as he could.

  Truthfully, he was worried that she was having second thoughts. Maybe she’d decided that she wanted to go speed dating after all, that he wasn’t worth the drama. That her Prince Charming was sitting in the community hall, just waiting for his fifteen minutes to sweep her off her feet.

  “Yeah.” She dropped her phone in her lap and took the glass he held out. “Paige was wondering why I’d flaked on tonight’s event. Grayson couldn’t figure out how to defrost one of my not burnt lasagnes…” She grinned. “…and Zoe was making sure I hadn’t been murdered.”

  “So, does Paige want you over there?” he asked, trying not to sound too disappointed. He didn’t want to make her feel bad if she had to leave. He sat in the armchair across from the couch, not wanting to crowd her.

  “No, according to her, all the good ones were snapped up in the first fifteen-minute stint. But she felt it only right to tell me that Gerald Linney and John the actuary specifically asked about where I was.” She darted a glance at him before staring furiously into her glass. “But if you want me to go, I can. I mean — I could—“

  “Beth, I don’t want you going anywhere,” he said simply but sincerely.

  He couldn’t blame her for her uncertainty, but he wasn’t ready to have the open, honest conversation they needed to have. Not right now. Tonight, he just wanted to be in the moment with her.

  “Ok,” she said shyly but happily enough. She took a sip of her wine before tossing him her phone. “But you promised to feed me.” She picked up the remote as if she’d lived here her whole life. And he loved how it felt. “The pizza place is on speed dial. And I’m picking the movie.”

  Beth could feel her phone vibrating like all get out but she refused to look at her texts. Because she knew what they’d say. She knew the questions that her friends would be demanding answers for, and the truth was, she wouldn’t have any answers.

  Coward that she was, she was afraid to ask them.

  She had picked a romantic comedy that Josh had laughingly complained about, and they’d sat here watching it, eating pizza, acting for all the world like a couple.

  But they weren’t a couple, were they?

  Okay, he hadn’t kicked her out, which had been her biggest fear. In fact, he’d kissed the living daylights out of her then asked her to stay. And he’d cooked, bless his heart. Or tried to.

  Wasn’t that a good sign?

  She didn’t know for sure, and she was too scared to ask. She didn’t want to come across as a complete stage-five clinger and scare him off. But this was confusing by anyone’s standards. Maybe she was reading too much into things, but there was something different about Josh today.

  And it wasn’t just the incredible sex.

  It felt as though he’d decided to stop pushing her away. But she didn’t know why he’d stopped. Or even if he’d really stopped. She didn’t even know why he’d been doing it in the first place.

  They’d gone through a full bottle of wine too, so unless he was planning on having her walk back to the ranch, did that mean he was expecting her to stay?

  Her phone buzzed again, and she subtly hid it under the cushion beside her.

  She’d sent a group text to Zoe, Brooke, Paige, and Jenna — all of whom had been calling and texting her while she’d been crossing every boundary known to humankind with Josh in the bedroom.

  Can’t talk. Won’t make speed dating. At Josh’s. We’re on a date? Maybe. I think we are. What the heck — I slept with him. Gotta go! B x.

  Not her finest moment, but she’d been busting to tell them that it had finally happened. Every one of them knew she’d been carrying a torch, like an Olympic-sized, never-dying torch for Josh Larson for over a year now.

  And she’d finally won gold.

  In hindsight, she probably should have waited to have some sort of clarifying conversation with him before she went telling people about them.

  But it was too late now. The cat was out of the bag.

  “I can’t believe you insisted on this movie, and you’re not even concentrating on it.”

  Josh’s voice interrupted her wandering thoughts, and she turned to see him scowling at her, his eyes twinkling.

  He was so gorgeous. It still took her by surprise sometimes.

  “I am concentrating on it,” she argued feebly.

  “No, you’re not,” he answered. “That mind of yours is going a mile a minute. So why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”

  Oh crap.

  Should she tell him? It felt a little early to lift the lid on all her crazy.

  On the other hand, she was sitting here in his robe, worrying that she’d be thrown out into the night with no way home, so it was probably best to just ask him outright what he wanted to do.

  But she just couldn’t bring herself to do the whole “what are we?” thing. It was too embarrassing and way too soon. She knew that.

  “Beth.” He pressed pause on the movie then turned to face her, lifting one of her hands and rubbing her pulse which was growing more erratic with every pass of his thumb. “What’s on your mind?”

  She had to ask. She had to know. Even if he put her on the first train to Crazy Town.

  Steeling herself for eviction from his apartment and his life, she took a deep breath and looked up to meet his eyes.

  He was so close she could see the glint of silver in them, smell that masculine scent that made her wild.

  But she needed to stay focused.

  “I’m just confused,” she admitted. “Happy, but confused. I — didn’t think you wanted this. Me.”

  God, this was embarrassing. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and just knew they were scarlet, so she dropped her gaze to their hands.

  “But today you — you’re different. Like you do want me, and — and I don’t know how long for. And — and I can’t drive injured and with half a bottle of wine in me,” she blurted. “So, if you’re going to ask me to leave, then I’ll need to call someone for a ride.”

  The silence was excruciating, and she refused to look at him until she felt his finger under her chin, lifting it.

  He was smiling.

  Smiling was good, right?

  “I know we have a lot to talk about,” he said. “I have a lot to explain. I will. I just wanted to take my time. Take this slow. And I’m sorry for how… confusing I’ve made things. But did you really think I’d kick you out in the middle of the night?”

  His laugh made her feel like an idiot, and she shrugged to try to cover her embarrassment.

  “How’s your foot?” he asked suddenly, surprising her with the change of topic.

  “It’s a little sore, but—“

  “So maybe you should stay off it a little longer.”

  She watched fascinated and thrilled by the flare of heat in his eyes.

  “Did I say a little sore?” She grinned. “It’s agonising. I should definitely rest it mo—”

  He didn’t give her a chance to finish; just picked her up and carried her back through to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The shrill ring of an alarm woke Josh, and he listened to Beth scrambling to get her phone.

  “Shut UP.” She was whispering furiously.
She tapped on the screen, her frown lit by the bluey-white light.

  “I don’t think it’s listening.”

  She jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice, and her head whipped around to look at him, her tussled curls swinging around her face.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” She was still whispering. “It’s only four thirty. Go back to sleep.”

  “It’s ok.” He sat up, fully awake now. “When you work in an ED, you get used to having barely any sleep. And you learn to wake quickly.”

  “No need for that in Rocky Valley, huh?” she said wryly.

  “Not exactly,” he answered. “But I’m not complaining about it.”

  He reached for her, but she leaned back shaking her head. “Oh no, you don’t,” she warned him. “I can’t be late to the bakery. I’ll already be behind after yesterday.”

  “Yeah, but you’re only across the street from it. That must save at least thirty minutes travel time.”

  “Which is why I set the alarm for thirty minutes later,” she countered laughingly. “And now that you’re awake, I can use the shower without feeling guilty about waking you.”

  She hopped up before he could grab at her, pulling on the robe that she’d commandeered.

  But not before he got enough of a view to make him want to drag her back into the bed and under him.

  “There’s a new toothbrush in the cabinet,” he said as she hobbled to the bathroom. “Does this put me on coffee duty?”

  She wouldn’t be able to stay on that foot all day, but he’d check it out once she was out of the shower.

  She turned to smile over her shoulder at him, and his heart skittered, telling him something he didn’t want to hear right now.

  “If you make coffee now, I’ll give you free coffee and brownies for a week!”

  “Deal.”

  He got up, pulled on black sweats, and padded down to the kitchen.

  The coffee machine he’d insisted on bringing from Chicago made nearly perfect lattes in seconds. He fixed Beth one before making himself a triple espresso because it was still the middle of the night, and they hadn’t exactly gotten a lot of sleep, then brought both cups back to the bedroom.