Bastard

by J. L. Perry

  For years I’ve wanted another dog, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to feel like I was replacing Lassie. I could never do that. I’m grateful that Carter took that choice away from me. He has no idea how much his beautiful, thoughtful gesture means. He can be the sweetest, gentlest, most caring man when he’s not being an overbearing, infuriating arse. I can’t bring myself to look at his sketches of Lassie yet, but I will in time.

  I didn’t see Carter again after he dropped me off yesterday afternoon, but when I was going to bed last night, he was in his bedroom. When I waved to him, he blew me a kiss. It sent my heart into a flutter. It beats the finger he used to give me.

  I laid in bed for hours thinking about him being only a few metres away—just two walls and a small distance separating us. It’s too soon after Mark to go there with him. I want to take it slow. I need to know he’s going to stick around this time. I can’t give him my heart again until I’m sure. If I did and he left me again, I know it would break me.

  I’m awoken early Sunday morning by LJ’s little cries. A smile graces my face as soon as I look over the side of the bed and find him sitting there looking up at me. He has the sweetest face. After taking him out back to do his business, I feed him before carrying him back into my room and climbing into bed. My headaches are still playing havoc. Some days the pain is bearable, other days not so much. I know it’s all the stress I’m under. The sooner I can get my life back to normal, the better.

  Surprisingly, I’m not missing Mark as much as I thought I would. I think I miss my job and the animals I cared for more. I loved working there. The hardest part for me is the way things ended between us. I gave him a year of my life and I hate that it ended so abruptly. I guess he wasn’t the good guy I thought he was. That’s the part I’m still trying to wrap my head around. As it turns out, the only two men I’ve cared about did the same thing; walked away from me, and everything we shared, without a backwards glance. I can tell you that’s a huge knock to the ego. You think you know someone, then boom, you realise you don’t know them at all.

  A little later, I’m pulled from my sleep by the sound of a lawnmower. Looking over at the clock on my bedside table, I notice it’s 10:30am. It’s not like me to sleep in this late. Rising, I rub my eyes as I make my way towards the window. That’s when I see him. Holy hell. Swoon. I say a silent prayer to the sun gods for blessing us with a reasonably warm day for this time of year. Carter is in the back yard mowing his mum’s lawn, shirtless. I swear I lick my lips as my eyes take him in. What a sight to behold.

  His body is even more muscular and defined then I remember. He’s wearing a pair of faded denim jeans that are ripped at the knees. So sexy. They hang low on his waist, revealing his delicious V and the band of his boxer briefs. Don’t even get me started on those tattoos of his. What I wouldn’t give to run my hands over every inch of his body again. I remember all too well what his hard, toned muscles felt like against my fingertips.

  I stand there staring for the longest time. I can’t seem to drag my eyes away from him. I’m pulled from my thoughts when LJ whimpers at my feet. Picking him up, I run my hand over his fur. “I’m just checking out your daddy,” I whisper. “Shhh. Don’t tell him.” He cocks his head to the side, staring up at me with his big brown eyes. It brings a smile to my face. “He looks mighty fine without a shirt. Mighty fine,” I murmur. I turn LJ’s face in the direction of Carter, and he lets out a cute little bark when he sees him.

  After peeling myself away from the window, I take LJ out back again before jumping in the shower. Having Carter home makes me feel invigorated. I no longer want to be locked away in my room. I want to be outside, or wherever he is.

  ••••

  I may have made a little effort in my appearance this morning, but after the hot mess Carter found me in yesterday, I find myself wanting to look nice for him. I’m only wearing a white top with a pair of black tight jeans and my black long boots. But I took extra time with my hair and even added a touch of makeup to my face.

  When I’m done, I head into the kitchen to get a cold drink for Carter out of the fridge. I can still hear the mower, so I know he’s still out there. “You look pretty today, Pumpkin,” my dad says looking up from the paper he’s reading at the kitchen table.

  “Thanks, Daddy. I thought I’d take a cold drink over to Carter.”

  “That’s nice,” he says smiling at me. “Oh here. This is for you.” He picks up an envelope off the table and passes it to me.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “I believe it’s the money that dick owes you from the restaurant.”

  “What? How did you get it?” I ask, annoyance lining my voice.

  “Does it really matter how? Just be thankful you got it back,” he says angrily. I can tell by his tone he’s far from over what happened. I thought he was going to burst an artery when he picked me up from the restaurant after Mark left me behind. I’ve never seen him so mad. He wanted to head straight over to his place, but I begged him not to. Beating him up wasn’t going to solve anything.

  “Did you go and see him?” I ask frowning. I specifically asked him not to. He ignores my question. “Daddy, what did you do?”

  “I didn’t do anything,” he says looking back down at his paper. Did nothing my arse. I know Mark. He wouldn’t just hand it over. His family is very well off, but as tight as you can get. They don’t part with money easily. I open my mouth to say something, but my father raises his hand to stop me. “Just drop it, Indiana. Why don’t you go and give Carter that drink. I’m sure he’d be grateful for it.” I know, when my father says that, the conversation is over. Ugh! Men.

  After putting LJ on his leash, I walk down the side of the house and out the front. That’s where Carter’s moved to. LJ pulls back on his leash as we approach. I guess the loud noise of the mower is frightening for him. Bending down I pick him up, cuddling him into my side so he feels safe.

  When Carter looks up and notices me approaching, he smiles. Reaching for the lever, he shuts down the mower. “Hey,” he says as I walk toward him.

  “Hey. I heard the mower. I thought you might like a cold drink.” I hold up the can of Coke in my hand.

  “Thanks,” he says, taking it with one hand and wiping the sweat off his brow with the other. The shimmer of perspiration covering his delicious body only seems to enhance his muscle tone. My eyes travel down to his chest. That’s when I notice one of his nipples is pierced. Holy cow. I find myself wanting to lean forward and swirl my tongue around it. “Hey, my eyes are up here,” he says with a chuckle. I feel my face flush when I make eye contact with him again. They’re the same words I used on him when he was checking out my tits that day.

  “Sorry,” I say as embarrassment consumes me.

  “Don’t be. I like that you find me irresistible.”

  “I do not,” I scoff, screwing up my face.

  “Deny it all you want, beautiful, but you and I both know the truth.” I don’t bother responding because he’ll only have another smart comeback. Besides, he’s right. Plus he called me beautiful. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard him say that to me. “You’re looking rather fine today. Did you go to all that effort just for me?” He smirks and then winks. “I’m touched.” God he’s a cocky arse.

  “No,” I screech. Even though the answer is yes. LJ barks in my arms, and it’s only then that Carter realises that I’m holding him.

  “How’s our little boy today?” he asks, reaching out and ruffling the fur on the top of his head. The fact he referred to him as ours makes me smile. “Did he sleep okay?”

  “He did. I put him in my room last night.” His eyes look up from the dog and lock with mine.

  “He got to sleep in your room? Lucky bugger. Maybe I should’ve climbed in the box yesterday, then I could’ve slept in your room, too.”

  “Ha ha. Nice try,” I laugh.

  “Well you’ve got to give me ten points for trying,” he chuckles. “So, wh
at are your plans today? Do you have any?” I shrug.

  “Not really.”

  “Wanna do something with me? I’m nearly done here.”

  “Like what?” I ask sceptically. I can never tell with Carter.

  “We could go for a drive, or to the movies.”

  “The movies? Have you ever been to the movies?” I ask surprised. It doesn’t seem like his thing.

  “No, but there’s always a first.” I smile. I love that he wants to spend time with me and is willing to suggest anything so he can.

  “Can I pick what we watch?”

  “As long as it’s not some sissy-arse movie, then yes,” he replies.

  “Okay.” He smiles at my response. It makes my heart race. I have no idea where this thing with us is going, but God I hope it goes somewhere.

  “Give me an hour. I need to finish up here and then have a shower.”

  “Alright. I’m gonna take LJ for a walk. Come get me when you’re ready.” After placing LJ down, I walk across the lawn towards the sidewalk. Turning my head, I take one last glance at Carter over my shoulder. He’s standing there watching me. I give him a smile and he winks at me. It sends my stomach into a flutter. God, he’s sex on legs.

  ••••

  “How’s your mum going?” I ask him on the drive into town. He shrugs. I need the distraction because all I can think of is all the bad things I’d like to do to him. Like run my tongue over every inch of him. For some reason he’s always brought out my wild side. He’s freshly showered and smells divine which doesn’t help matters. I could seriously drown in his scent.

  “Okay, I guess. Your dad’s been great. I’m thankful for everything he’s been doing.”

  “I like that they’re becoming friends,” I tell him as I turn my head in his direction. He has such a beautiful profile. While his eyes are firmly planted on the road ahead, I use this time to look over his handsome face. “They both have the loss of a spouse in common. Hopefully having each other will do them some good,” I add. Well that’s my hope. His eyes briefly leave the road and look my way. Why does a simple look from him turn me on?

  Elizabeth will be good for him. It’s been sixteen years since my mum died. My dad still locks himself away on her anniversary and birthday. He’s never dated anyone since her death. I know he loved her, but he needs to move on. Live again. I’m sure my mum would’ve wanted that for him.

  Carter opens my door and helps me out of the car when we arrive at the movies. We originally planned to have lunch beforehand, but as it turns out we don’t have time. “We can go eat afterwards,” Carter says as we line up for tickets.

  “Okay.” I smile up at him when he places his hand on the small of my back as the line moves forward. I still can’t believe we’re here together. “Are you gonna get some popcorn?” I ask.

  “Do you want popcorn?”

  “Hell yeah. You can’t watch a movie without popcorn. It’s unethical.” He throws back his head and laughs.

  “If you say so. You’ll need to get me up to speed on the ethics of movie watching then. This is my first time remember.” After we grab the tickets, popcorn, and a large Coke, we head towards the cinemas.

  “I can’t believe I’m popping your movie cherry,” I tell him as we walk along. He looks down at me and grins.

  “Well I popped your cherry, so I guess it’s only fair you get to pop one of mine.” I swear my eyes must be bugging out of my head when what he says registers. He did not just say that! I feel my face flush. Leaning towards me, he whispers in a husky voice, “I love it when you blush like that. It turns me on like you wouldn’t believe.” Oh God. I’m positive my face is as red as the cup he’s holding in his hand. He flicks out his elbow and nudges me. “Don’t go all shy on me now, beautiful. I’m just messing with you.” Some things never change. I see exactly how much enjoyment he gets out of messing with me.

  Bastard.

  Following him up the stairs towards the seats, I ask, “How far up are we going?”

  “Back row.”

  “I don’t think so,” I say as I tug on his arm to stop. “Just here is fine.”

  “Why don’t you want to sit in the back row?” He’s kidding right? “Don’t you trust me to behave myself?” He gives me a look like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. Nice try. I know for a fact it would sizzle.

  “I don’t think you know how to behave,” I laugh.

  “I resent that remark,” he says mocking fake hurt. He knows damn well I’m right. His next comment just confirms it. “Do you really think sitting here is going to stop me from misbehaving? Because you know as well as I do, it won’t.” Although his words make me want to clench my thighs together, I swallow nervously.

  The predatory look in his eyes as I pass him to take my seat has my insides doing flip-flops. I know I’m not ready for anything like that yet, but in saying that, I know I wouldn’t be able to stop if he tried. I remember all too well just how good he made me feel all those years ago.

  I can’t tell you how many times I’d wished Mark could make me feel even a fraction of what Carter used to, but sadly he never did. I shouldn’t even compare them, but after being with Carter it’s pretty hard not to.

  Carter sits beside me, placing the popcorn on my lap. “Thank you,” I say looking straight ahead. The intense look on his face just now has made me nervous for some reason. I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with him. It has me feeling apprehensive about agreeing to come. For my heart’s sake, I need time. I need to be sure this is going to work before it goes any further.

  “Relax,” he says nudging me with his elbow. “You’re lucky I’m in a behaving mood.” My eyes dart to him and I find him smiling. It’s sweet and reassuring, but I still have my doubts. I can’t help but roll my eyes. This is Carter Reynolds we’re talking about. I pick up a piece of popcorn and pop it into my mouth, relaxing back into my seat. We’ll just see about that.

  The movie I chose to watch is Fast and Furious. It’s the seventh movie in the franchise. He gets to drool over the cars, and I get to check out the hot guys. Although I already know they won’t compare with the one sitting next to me. I haven’t seen the first six movies, but he was kind enough to bring me here, so the least I could do is pick something he might enjoy.

  We sit in silence waiting for the movie to start. Sure enough, a few minutes in and his antics start. Behaving mood my arse. He’s trying to act inconspicuous, but I see straight through him. Every time I reach into grab some popcorn, he does as well. His fingers always brushing against mine. It sends tingles up my arm each and every time. When I look at him, his head is forward focussing on the movie, but the smirk on his face tells me it’s intentional.

  I watch as he takes a sip of the soda before offering it to me. My eyes move from the cup back up to him. This salty popcorn is making me thirsty, but I’m not a fan of sharing drinks. Never have been.

  “What? I don’t have cooties,” he says pushing the cup my way.

  “That’s debatable,” I retort, raising an eyebrow.

  “I don’t.” The tone of his voice makes me believe he’s offended. Of course I know better. Carter doesn’t offend easy. He leans forward into my space. “If I recall, you’ve had your tongue down my throat. Actually, now that I think about it, you’ve had my cock in your mouth. You didn’t keel over and die, so take a fucking sip,” he says shoving the drink towards my hand. My eyes widen. I can’t believe he just said that. My head turns towards the people sitting behind us. I hope they didn’t overhear.

  “Fine,” I snap, snatching it out of his hand. He smiles when I wrap my mouth around the straw.

  “See, no cooties,” he says when I pass it back to him. It makes me giggle.

  “It’s early days,” I whisper, leaning towards him. “I’m sure cooties isn’t an instant death.” He playfully bumps me with his elbow.

  “Again, I resent that remark.” His comment makes me laugh.

  A few minutes later, his antics continu
e. Picking up a piece of popcorn, my hand moves towards my mouth when Carter’s fingers suddenly wrap around my wrist, stopping me midair. My eyes immediately move to his as he gives me a mischievous smile. Tugging on my arm, I watch on in horror as he pulls my hand towards his mouth. His eyes are locked with mine as his lips slowly close over my fingers and he sucks the popcorn out of my grip. When his tongue darts out and he seductively licks the salt off my skin, I inhale a sharp breath and clench my thighs together as desire sweeps through me. I recall with ease how magical that mouth of his feels. Releasing his grip on my wrist, he licks his lips.

  “Delicious,” he breathes. Far out. He has me so turned on right now. Ugh! I’m sure that’s his plan.

  I find myself stealing glances at him as we watch the movie. He’s so gorgeous. He seems to be enjoying it. I’ve caught him laughing a few times. It brought a smile to my face. Seeing him happy does something to me. I can’t explain it. He’s come so far in the last five years. He’s nothing like the troubled teen I knew all those years ago. He seems to show more of the real Carter these days. You have no idea how that makes me feel.

  I’m surprised that apart from the popcorn incident, he now actually seems to be behaving. About halfway through the movie, that changes. I see him watching me out of the corner of my eye. Pretending I don’t notice, I keep my focus trained on the screen ahead. Then he goes and does one of those fake-arse yawns. You know, those lame ones you see in the movies. The ones that have the guy yawning with their arms stretched wide, before slyly wrapping it around the girl’s shoulder.

  “You did not just try that lame move on me,” I laugh.

  “What? I yawned,” he says giving me a sheepish grin. He doesn’t fool me for a minute. “Ain’t a guy allowed to yawn these days without the girl getting the wrong idea?”