Twilight Tenth Anniversary Edition

by Stephenie Meyer

  “I think I do.”

  “Bella, you don’t know. I’ve had almost ninety years to think about this, and I’m still not sure.”

  “Do you wish that Carlisle hadn’t saved you?”

  “No, I don’t wish that.” He paused before continuing. “But my life was over. I wasn’t giving anything up.”

  “You are my life. You’re the only thing it would hurt me to lose.” I was getting better at this. It was easy to admit how much I needed him.

  He was very calm, though. Decided.

  “I can’t do it, Bella. I won’t do that to you.”

  “Why not?” My throat rasped and the words weren’t as loud as I’d meant them to be. “Don’t tell me it’s too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days ago… anyway, after that, it should be nothing.”

  He glared at me.

  “And the pain?” he asked.

  I blanched. I couldn’t help it. But I tried to keep my expression from showing how clearly I remembered the feeling… the fire in my veins.

  “That’s my problem,” I said. “I can handle it.”

  “It’s possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity.”

  “It’s not an issue. Three days. Big deal.”

  Edward grimaced again as my words reminded him that I was more informed than he had ever intended me to be. I watched him repress the anger, watched as his eyes grew speculative.

  “Charlie?” he asked curtly. “Renée?”

  Minutes passed in silence as I struggled to answer his question. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I closed it again. He waited, and his expression became triumphant because he knew I had no true answer.

  “Look, that’s not an issue either,” I finally muttered; my voice was as unconvincing as it always was when I lied. “Renée has always made the choices that work for her—she’d want me to do the same. And Charlie’s resilient, he’s used to being on his own. I can’t take care of them forever. I have my own life to live.”

  “Exactly,” he snapped. “And I won’t end it for you.”

  “If you’re waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I’ve got news for you! I was just there!”

  “You’re going to recover,” he reminded me.

  I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it triggered. I stared at him, and he stared back. There was no compromise in his face.

  “No,” I said slowly. “I’m not.”

  His forehead creased. “Of course you are. You may have a scar or two.…”

  “You’re wrong,” I insisted. “I’m going to die.”

  “Really, Bella.” He was anxious now. “You’ll be out of here in a few days. Two weeks at most.”

  I glared at him. “I may not die now… but I’m going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I’m going to get old.”

  He frowned as what I was saying sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes. “That’s how it’s supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn’t exist—and I shouldn’t exist.”

  I snorted. He opened his eyes in surprise. “That’s stupid. That’s like going to someone who’s just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, ‘Look, let’s just go back to how things should be. It’s better that way.’ And I’m not buying it.”

  “I’m hardly a lottery prize,” he growled.

  “That’s right. You’re much better.”

  He rolled his eyes and set his lips. “Bella, we’re not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that’s the end of it.”

  “If you think that’s the end, then you don’t know me very well,” I warned him. “You’re not the only vampire I know.”

  His eyes went black again. “Alice wouldn’t dare.”

  And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldn’t help but believe it—I couldn’t imagine someone brave enough to cross him.

  “Alice already saw it, didn’t she?” I guessed. “That’s why the things she says upset you. She knows I’m going to be like you… someday.”

  “She’s wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didn’t happen, either.”

  “You’ll never catch me betting against Alice.”

  We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the big clock on the wall. Finally, his expression softened.

  “So where does that leave us?” I wondered.

  He chuckled humorlessly. “I believe it’s called an impasse.”

  I sighed. “Ouch,” I muttered.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked, eyeing the button for the nurse.

  “I’m fine,” I lied.

  “I don’t believe you,” he said gently.

  “I’m not going back to sleep.”

  “You need rest. All this arguing isn’t good for you.”

  “So give in,” I hinted.

  “Nice try.” He reached for the button.

  “No!”

  He ignored me.

  “Yes?” the speaker on the wall squawked.

  “I think we’re ready for more pain medication,” he said calmly, ignoring my furious expression.

  “I’ll send in the nurse.” The voice sounded very bored.

  “I won’t take it,” I promised.

  He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside my bed. “I don’t think they’re going to ask you to swallow anything.”

  My heart rate started to climb. He read the fear in my eyes, and sighed in frustration.

  “Bella, you’re in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They’re not going to put any more needles in you now.”

  “I’m not afraid of the needles,” I mumbled. “I’m afraid to close my eyes.”

  Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands. “I told you I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I’ll be here.”

  I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks. “You’re talking about forever, you know.”

  “Oh, you’ll get over it—it’s just a crush.”

  I shook my head in disbelief—it made me dizzy. “I was shocked when Renée swallowed that one. I know you know better.”

  “That’s the beautiful thing about being human,” he told me. “Things change.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Don’t hold your breath.”

  He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe.

  “Excuse me,” she said brusquely to Edward.

  He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly.

  “Here you go, honey.” The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. “You’ll feel better now.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didn’t take long. I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately.

  “That ought to do it,” she muttered as my eyelids drooped.

  She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face.

  “Stay.” The word was slurred.

  “I will,” he promised. His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. “Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it’s what’s best for you.”

  I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. “’S not the same thing,” I mumbled.

  He laughed. “Don’t worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up.”

  I think I smiled. “’Kay.”

  I could feel his lips at my ear.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “Me, too.”

  “I know,” he laughed quietly.

  I turned my head slightly… searching. He knew what I was after. His lips touched mine gently.

  “Thanks,” I sighed.

&n
bsp; “Anytime.”

  I wasn’t really there at all anymore. But I fought against the stupor weakly. There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him.

  “Edward?” I struggled to pronounce his name clearly.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m betting on Alice,” I mumbled.

  And then the night closed over me.

  EPILOGUE: AN OCCASION

  EDWARD HELPED ME INTO HIS CAR, BEING VERY CAREFUL OF THE WISPS of silk and chiffon, the flowers he’d just pinned into my elaborately styled curls, and my bulky walking cast. He ignored the angry set of my mouth.

  When he had me settled, he got in the driver’s seat and headed back out the long, narrow drive.

  “At what point exactly are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I asked grumpily. I really hated surprises. And he knew that.

  “I’m shocked that you haven’t figured it out yet.” He threw a mocking smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I ever get used to his perfection?

  “I did mention that you looked very nice, didn’t I?” I verified.

  “Yes.” He grinned again. I’d never seen him dress in black before, and, with the contrast against his pale skin, his beauty was absolutely surreal. That much I couldn’t deny, even if the fact that he was wearing a tuxedo made me very nervous.

  Not quite as nervous as the dress. Or the shoe. Only one shoe, as my other foot was still securely encased in plaster. But the stiletto heel, held on only by satin ribbons, certainly wasn’t going to help me as I tried to hobble around.

  “I’m not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do,” I griped. I’d spent the better part of the day in Alice’s staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didn’t have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun. Then she’d dressed me in the most ridiculous dress—deep blue, frilly and off the shoulders, with French tags I couldn’t read—a dress more suitable for a runway than Forks. Nothing good could come of our formal attire, of that I was sure. Unless… but I was afraid to put my suspicions into words, even in my own head.

  I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing. Edward pulled his cell phone from a pocket inside his jacket, looking briefly at the caller ID before answering.

  “Hello, Charlie,” he said warily.

  “Charlie?” I frowned.

  Charlie had been… difficult since my return to Forks. He had compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Toward Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault—because, if not for him, I wouldn’t have left home in the first place. And Edward was far from disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadn’t existed before: curfews… visiting hours.

  Something Charlie was saying made Edward’s eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face.

  “You’re kidding!” He laughed.

  “What is it?” I demanded.

  He ignored me. “Why don’t you let me talk to him?” Edward suggested with evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds.

  “Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen.” His voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into.

  “I’m sorry if there’s been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight.” Edward’s tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. “To be perfectly honest, she’ll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I’m sorry about your evening.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face.

  My face and neck flushed crimson with anger. I could feel the rage-induced tears starting to fill my eyes.

  He looked at me in surprise. “Was that last part a bit too much? I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  I ignored that.

  “You’re taking me to the prom!” I yelled.

  It was embarrassingly obvious now. If I’d been paying any attention at all, I’m sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings. But I’d never dreamed he was thinking of subjecting me to this. Didn’t he know me at all?

  He wasn’t expecting the force of my reaction, that was clear. He pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. “Don’t be difficult, Bella.”

  My eyes flashed to the window; we were halfway to the school already.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” I demanded in horror.

  He gestured to his tuxedo. “Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?”

  I was mortified. First, because I’d missed the obvious. And also because the vague suspicions—expectations, really—that I’d been forming all day, as Alice tried to transform me into a beauty queen, were so far wide of the mark. My half-fearful hopes seemed very silly now.

  I’d guessed there was some kind of occasion brewing. But prom! That was the furthest thing from my mind.

  The angry tears rolled over my cheeks. I remembered with dismay that I was very uncharacteristically wearing mascara. I wiped quickly under my eyes to prevent any smudges. My hand was unblackened when I pulled it away; maybe Alice had known I would need waterproof makeup.

  “This is completely ridiculous. Why are you crying?” he demanded in frustration.

  “Because I’m mad!”

  “Bella.” He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me.

  “What?” I muttered, distracted.

  “Humor me,” he insisted.

  His eyes were melting all my fury. It was impossible to fight with him when he cheated like that. I gave in with poor grace.

  “Fine,” I pouted, unable to glare as effectively as I would have liked. “I’ll go quietly. But you’ll see. I’m way overdue for more bad luck. I’ll probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! It’s a death trap!” I held out my good leg as evidence.

  “Hmmm.” He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. “Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight.”

  “Alice is going to be there?” That comforted me slightly.

  “With Jasper, and Emmett… and Rosalie,” he admitted.

  The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been no progress with Rosalie, though I was on quite good terms with her sometimes-husband. Emmett enjoyed having me around—he thought my bizarre human reactions were hilarious… or maybe it was just the fact that I fell down a lot that he found so funny. Rosalie acted as if I didn’t exist. While I shook my head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of something else.

  “Is Charlie in on this?” I asked, suddenly suspicious.

  “Of course.” He grinned, and then chuckled. “Apparently Tyler wasn’t, though.”

  I gritted my teeth. How Tyler could be so delusional, I couldn’t imagine. At school, where Charlie couldn’t interfere, Edward and I were inseparable—except for those rare sunny days.

  We were at the school now; Rosalie’s red convertible was conspicuous in the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west.

  He got out and walked around the car to open my door. He held out his hand.

  I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, feeling a secret twinge of smugness. The lot was crowded with people in formal dress: witnesses. He couldn’t remove me forcibly from the car as he might have if we’d been alone.

  He sighed. “When someone wants to kill you, you’re brave as a lion—and then when someone mentions dancing…” He shook his head.

  I gulped. Dancing.

  “Bella, I won’t let anything hurt you—not even yourself. I won’t let go of you once, I promise.”

&nbs
p; I thought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in my face.

  “There, now,” he said gently, “it won’t be so bad.” He leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist. I took his other hand and let him lift me from the car.

  He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school.

  In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls.

  “This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen,” I snickered.

  “Well,” he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table—he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward—“there are more than enough vampires present.”

  I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space—no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie was… well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included.

  “Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?” I whispered conspiratorially.

  “And where do you fit into that scheme?” He glared.

  “Oh, I’m with the vampires, of course.”

  He smiled reluctantly. “Anything to get out of dancing.”

  “Anything.”

  He bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor. I cringed against his arm and dragged my feet.

  “I’ve got all night,” he warned.

  Eventually he towed me out to where his family was twirling elegantly—if in a style totally unsuitable to the present time and music. I watched in horror.

  “Edward.” My throat was so dry I could only manage a whisper. “I honestly can’t dance!” I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest.