Deadly Dreams (Fortuna Sworn Book 3)

by K. J. Sutton

  Collith’s eyes flashed. After another kiss that left me breathless, he moved so that I was on my back and he was perfectly aligned with my opening. “You need to relax, sweetheart,” he said, hovering above me.

  At first, I didn’t know what Collith meant, then I realized every inch of my body was stiff as a board. I let out a breath. Once the tension had left me, Collith finally pushed inside, easing himself deeper little by little. It was tight and strange, but not painful. Nothing like the experience I’d prepared myself for.

  After he’d withdrawn, Collith waited for me to open my eyes—I hadn’t even realized they were closed. I met his gaze and nodded to let him know I was okay. He entered me again, dropping feathery kisses anywhere he could reach. When his teeth lightly closed around my nipple, I made a sound of surprised pleasure, and Collith started moving faster.

  His strokes were just like him—deliberate and powerful. My fingers dug into Collith’s back and I clamped my legs harder around his waist. He drove himself even deeper. Harder.

  I started rising to meet his thrusts. This is my choice. This is my first time, I thought. It felt as though I’d been trapped inside a glass encasing for weeks, and with every movement we made, a new crack went through it. Soon it was on the verge of shattering completely.

  Only once did I freeze in remembrance. Only once did I tremble with terror. When Collith realized what was happening, he paused to murmur reassurances. He cupped my cheek and his eyes looked into mine. I was coming to know his face even better than my own, and as I stared up at him, nothing else stood a chance of stealing my attention away. I wrapped my fingers around his and slowly nodded. Keep going. Don’t stop. Collith bent down and kissed me, long and deep, and began to thrust again. It was a delicious build-up returning to our previous urgent rhythm.

  After that, I didn’t—couldn’t—think about anything except how good this felt, how good I felt, and how freeing it was to want this. To want him. I thought of nothing else but Collith. At one point I felt him shift, and then his fingers found my clitoris again. I groaned and held him tighter, moving my hips more frantically.

  “Fuck,” Collith said through his teeth. He didn’t last long after that—a few seconds later, he came in long, trembling runs.

  Seeing him finish, along with the skilled touch of his fingers, sent me over the edge, as well. Heat and light washed through me, and I heard myself release a breathy moan.

  Collith kissed my shoulder and murmured something about the bathroom. My euphoria had quickly faded into drowsiness. Nodding, I curled onto my side, eyelids fluttering, and tried to think of a reason I shouldn’t fall asleep.

  I must’ve drifted off, because it felt like only a moment had passed when I heard the door hinges whine again.

  “Fortuna? Are you awake?” Collith asked, spooning against my back. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

  There was something in his voice that unsettled me. Without knowing why, I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even. After a moment, Collith nestled closer and put his head down. It only took him a few minutes to fall asleep.

  Once I was certain the Unseelie King was unconscious, I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness, frightened by the sensations happening inside me. It was too late to stop it, I knew. The time for pretending was long behind us.

  Suddenly I heard Mercy’s voice, the words low with warning. A memory. Anyone who loves you will pay a price. It will cost you, as well.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed back against Collith, banishing the witch from my mind. No more prices. No more costs. Collith and I were different.

  But the air felt thick with my own doubt.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Now that the afterglow of sex had faded, and my own thoughts had come to torment me, I remembered what waited on the other side of sleep.

  I began to fight the darkness, rather than succumb to it.

  Exhaustion seemed like a small price to pay to avoid seeing Oliver. Or rather, Oliver seeing me. Because I was afraid he’d take one look at my face and know what I’d done with Collith. Happiness was as powerful as sorrow—you could sense it on other people as if it were a visible thing. As if it had a stench.

  I would get up, I decided, and make a cup of coffee. Pass the next few hours trying to think of a way to beat Gwyn. I opened my eyes reluctantly and, once my vision adjusted, let out a low curse.

  I was in the dreamscape.

  The sky was red. Not pink, not orange, but a firetruck red. Unnatural. Everything else looked normal enough. Still, I moved forward cautiously, my eyes darting in every direction. I was wearing boots, jeans, and a wool sweater. A lonesome breeze blew past, heading for the cottage. The door was tightly closed, and I looked to the sea. There Oliver sat, a black silhouette against a bloody backdrop. The shadow he cast against the ground had no wings, reassuring me that it was really him. I started toward my best friend, a path I’d trekked so many times that the ground was packed earth instead of tall grass.

  “Ollie? Are you okay? The sky is a little—” I cut short when I drew alongside him and saw his expression. Shame dug a hole in my chest, leaving a dark ache. This was it. This was the conversation we’d both been putting off for so long. I’d been so busy unraveling these past few weeks, I hadn’t seen it happening to Oliver. Now there was nothing left but two piles of thread. Swallowing, I lowered myself to the ground.

  Oliver’s legs dangled off the edge. I didn’t worry about him falling—as children, we’d grasped hands and leapt together. All that awaited at the bottom was warm water. This was Oliver’s world and he controlled what happened in it. But he can’t control what happens outside, that inner voice reminded me. As though I needed a reminder. If he’d had any power beyond these boundaries, Oliver would’ve left his prison a long time ago. He would’ve been free to have a life of his choosing, instead of mine.

  I opened my mouth to speak. At the same time Oliver said, “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why, because I already knew the answer. Maybe I just needed to hear him say it out loud.

  As silence hovered between us, snow started drifting down from the red sky. It should’ve been impossible—there were still no clouds overhead. The small flakes looked eerie against the horizon. They settled into Oliver’s hair and on his shoulders. “I mean that… I think you’re bad for me,” he answered finally, keeping his blue eyes on the sea. “Or maybe we’re bad for each other. Either way, I’m done. Being your second choice. Waiting around.”

  Looking at him hurt. With jerky movements, I pulled a handful of grass out of the soil and threw it over the cliff. “You’re not my second choice, Ollie. That’s not why I didn’t choose you.”

  “Did you fuck him?” he asked flatly.

  The directness of it made me flinch. Now it was his turn to wait for an answer. But Oliver had spent his entire existence waiting, and I didn’t want to make him do it anymore.

  Knowing this didn’t make the words any easier to say. I bit my lip and tried to turn my heart to stone through sheer force of will. “Ollie, I…”

  That was all the answer he needed.

  He pulled his legs back and stood up. I looked up at him, blinking rapidly. Oliver stared at the ground as he said, “I felt it, Fortuna. Every second. Your emotions were so powerful that I was forced to endure them along with you. Your joy. Your desire. Your love.”

  He said the last word on a whisper, and his eyes were bright with torment. The realization that Oliver had seen those intimate moments with Collith sent a rush of heat to my cheeks. I turned toward the skyline, unable to face him anymore. It was still snowing. I buried my fingers into the earth, needing something to hold onto, and wished I could see the sun one more time. We’d spent so many years in this place, bathed in golden light, wild things that couldn’t be touched or tamed. When had it started to change? When did we lose our innocence?

  But we couldn’t have gone on like that forever, no ma
tter how badly I missed it now. Every dream ended, and eventually, you woke up. If you spent your life living in a fantasy world, there would be no time for the real one.

  “Please,” I said, knowing even as I said it, there was no point. I couldn’t undo my night with Collith, and I didn’t want to. But that didn’t mean I was ready to lose my best friend. “Please don’t do this.”

  Oliver didn’t move. Not yet. I saw him in my peripheral vision, his golden hair tousled from the wind. The temperature noticeably decreased. The sky kept bleeding snow. “At least my shadow will die with me. You don’t need to be afraid anymore,” he said.

  “But I am afraid. I’m afraid of a life without you in it, Ollie. You’re my best friend.” Without thinking, I started to reach for him. Oliver moved to avoid my hand. I swallowed again, dropping it back to my lap. A fresh wave of loss crashed over me as I pictured it. No more laughter. No more ever-changing landscapes. No more relief from the bad things that happened while I was awake. Oliver didn’t say anything, and I stood up to face him. “You said you’d go into the afterlife with me. You said your greatest fear was—”

  “Everything I said was just what you wanted to hear, Fortuna. After all, I’m an extension of you, right? A figment of your imagination.” Oliver shoved his hands in his pockets and studied me. I looked back at him, unnerved by the detachment in his voice. The cold was so intense that I wondered if his eyelashes had frozen or my lips were turning white. For a moment, neither of us spoke.

  When the silence lingered and Oliver didn’t leave, I felt my traitorous heart lift, thinking that he might have changed his mind. That he’d pictured his life without me, too, and it was unbearable.

  Instead, he walked away. Even as I watched him do it, I couldn’t believe he was. With every step my best friend took, he faded, until he looked like a spirit in the moors.

  Then he was nothing more than a memory.

  Upon waking, I saw that Collith’s side of the bed was empty.

  Something caught my eye on his pillow, though. Thoughts of Oliver faded as I lifted my head, frowning, and confirmed there was an envelope resting on the white linen. I reached for it, noting my name written in elegant script on the back. Unease rippled through me as I ran my thumb beneath the wax seal—I knew Collith’s handwriting and this wasn’t it.

  Inside was a single piece of paper. In the same loopy hand, someone had written a single line across its center. My patience wears thin. Consider this motivation.

  The truth settled into my skin with the gentleness of a thousand needles.

  Gwyn had Collith.

  Suddenly I thought of the last words she’d said to me. Rest well, Your Majesty. You’re going to need it for my next visit.

  She’d seen how I reacted last night, when I turned and spotted Collith on the porch. It must have been painfully obvious that I felt something for the Unseelie King, and like a typical faerie, she’d used my weakness for her own gain.

  As my mind struggled to accept this new reality, I felt sick. What if she was hurting him? What if she’d already killed him? How long had she been in here, watching us, standing over us while we slept naked and vulnerable?

  Creiddylad. I had to find Creiddylad. I rushed out of bed and nearly tripped in my rush to the dresser. There were clothes all over the floor, but everything was mine—at least Gwyn allowed Collith to get dressed before she took him. I yanked at a drawer with such force it completely came out and hit the floor. I picked out a random shirt and pulled it on, then reached for another drawer in search of pants. “Laurie!” I barked.

  He materialized instantly, and as I turned, I caught his silver eyes lingering on my bare legs. “And here I thought you despised me,” he commented.

  “Gwyn took Collith,” I said bluntly, ignoring this. I shimmied into some pants and dove for the nightstand. I chose some weapons that would work with my clothes. When I faced Laurie, he was holding Gwyn’s letter. He must’ve read it, because he looked out the window with the stillness of someone deep in thought. I couldn’t sense any fear—he’d always been guarded against my abilities.

  “I’m going to see Viessa,” I told him as I found hiding places for the Glock and a couple pocketknives.

  Laurie frowned at the mention of her name. “Why?”

  “Because she knows things.”

  “I know things,” he protested.

  “Great. Can you tell me where to find Creiddylad?” I demanded. I waited, but after a moment, Laurie turned his face back to the window. “That’s what I thought.”

  I hurried into the hallway. There was still no Finn, and I made a mental note to talk to him once we had the chance—it worried me how much he’d been wearing his wolfskin. If he went too long without changing, he might lose the ability altogether.

  But I couldn’t think about that right now. Right now, Gwyn had Collith, and my search for Creiddylad had become even more urgent. I rushed to the front door. By a stroke of luck, there was no one in the kitchen or living room. No one that I needed to lie or make excuses to. I yanked on a pair of thick boots, lined with faux fur on the inside, and my coat. After brief contemplation, I tucked the Glock in the right pocket and the knives in other various places. Then I pulled the door open and hurried out.

  Laurie didn’t ask if he could accompany me—he just reappeared at my side the moment I reached the tree line. I started in the direction of the Unseelie Court, the force of my anxiety making it difficult to breathe.

  “There’s something about nature I just love,” Laurie mused suddenly, looking around as though we were at Disneyland.

  “Despite what it did to you?” I muttered. He was probably just trying to distract me, I knew, but I refused to pretend everything between us was fine. My cell phone rang, and I pulled it out to look at the screen. It was a number I didn’t recognize. “Hello?”

  “Have you given thought to my offer?” Dracula asked, undeterred by my curt tone.

  Dracula was calling me on my cell phone. I paused to let the thought resonate. How the hell had he gotten this number? Less than a second later, I answered my own question. Adam gave it to him, of course. My terror for Collith was making me slow, which was the opposite of what I needed to be to get us all out of this. Realizing that I’d stopped, I started walking again.

  Dracula was quiet on the other end, and in a rush, I remembered that he’d asked a question. “I thought I already gave you an answer,” I said cautiously, feeling Laurie’s eyes on me.

  “Where are you, Your Majesty? You sound out of breath.”

  I couldn’t tell a vampire who was obsessed with keeping Fallenkind a secret that I was planning on unleashing a powerful, vengeful faerie into the world. “Just going for one of my morning runs! Listen, I’ll call you later, okay?”

  I hung up before he could respond. Laurie didn’t get to ask any questions, either—as I tucked my phone away, I actually did break into a run.

  It was hard to sprint through snow, but I didn’t slow down or take any breaks. All I wanted was to see that jagged hole in the earth rising up in front of me, and the irony of this wasn’t lost on me. Laurie ran at my side. He was wearing jeans and a peacoat, yet somehow he made it look effortless. We put miles behind us as if it were a marathon.

  Sooner than I thought it would, the entrance appeared through the trees. Someone must have sent word we were coming, because Nuvian emerged from the mouth of the tunnel just as Laurie and I arrived. He was already frowning. “What are you doing—”

  “I’m here to see Viessa,” I cut in. There was no time for his bullshit, and I was still struggling to breathe. “Please take me to her.”

  Nuvian wasn’t a complete fool; he didn’t utter a single word of reproach or disdain. Maybe there was something in my voice that frightened him. He turned around without looking at Laurie, and I assumed this meant the Seelie King was hiding himself from sight—probably for the best. We both followed Nuvian into the darkness. The silence was so thick that it felt malignant. I told myself
it was all in my head, but not even Laurie had anything to say during our descent. An eternity later, after a dozen twists and turns, we reached a flight of familiar narrow stairs. Nuvian held a torch up and continued to lead the way.

  The dungeons smelled worse than before, if that was possible.

  Every line of my body was tense as we went down. I understood why there was no light for this part, since the path was too narrow to put anything on the walls, but knowing didn’t make it easier to accept. Once I reached the bottom of the steps, I could see more of our surroundings and my breathing slowed. Torchlight danced along the uneven walls. Nuvian was on the move again, plunging even deeper into the depths of this place. Every line of my body was tense as I followed the faerie to Viessa’s cell. I couldn’t hear Laurie behind me, but miraculously enough, I could smell him. His pleasant scent was a welcome reprieve from the wealth of horrible odors around us.

  Nuvian finally stopped, and I stood in front of the cell he’d selected.

  “I’d like some privacy,” I said without looking at him. The faerie must’ve expected it, or was still unnerved by me. Without a sound or an argument, he stepped around me and walked away. I strained to see any movement within the cell as Nuvian’s footsteps echoed, then faded. “Viessa?”

  The assassin’s voice floated from the back wall, where the shadows had taken over so completely that no light would ever break through again. “You have ignored my summons, Queen Fortuna.”

  “I’ve been busy.” I paused, casting an involuntary glance toward Laurie in hopes of guidance, but he’d completely hidden himself. Or maybe the smell had just gotten to him. I returned my gaze to Viessa and reminded myself that I didn’t need a faerie king next to me. “I’m here now.”

  She scoffed, but the sound was weak. “You’re not here to repay your debt to me.”

  I should’ve known she would spot a lie. Viessa was smart—smarter than Collith, Laurie, or any of the Guardians gave her credit for—and she wouldn’t have survived down here so long without knowing friend from foe. The problem was, I still wasn’t sure which one I was to her.