Hammered

by Mj Fields

  “What?”

  “You’re an old soul, Phoenix Star.”

  “My grandmother used to say the same thing.”

  “Well then, it must be true.”

  As I make toast, Mags tells me about the jam making process, and how she and Gage always spend a weekend making the first few batches, and Brand helps.

  She points to the blackberries. “Where did you find those?”

  “Mandee stayed here for a few days, and we went hiking. Just kind of stumbled across them,” I tell her as I spread the peach jam on the toast.

  “You’ll have to take me there, if you’re not too busy. We usually get there after the deer have,” she chuckles.

  “I’m not too busy at all.” I grin. “That storm—”

  “The one I sent?”

  I glance over at her and feel my face heat up. “Yes, that one. Well, I’m on sort of a vacation for a while.”

  “Does that worry you?”

  “You mean because of money?” I ask, putting some fresh berries on the two small plates before walking them over.

  “I could always help you out,” she says as I set the plate in front of her.

  “I’m okay, Mags. I have some money saved.”

  “For school books this fall?” She asks as I sit.

  I nod, and she laughs.

  “What?”

  “Oh, honey girl, I think you’ll get a much better education about human behavior here.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  The Boy(s)

  Phoenix

  One Week Later

  I wake up to the bedroom door opening and a gasp. I jump up to see a little, wavy black-haired, brown eyed boy whose pictures brightens every room in this house.

  “Um, sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I say, pulling the covers up to cover myself better. I hold my hand out. “You must be Brandon.”

  He grins, and I see a missing tooth and two very deep dimples.

  He reaches his hand out to shake mine and stops when the door flies open.

  “Brand, let’s go downstairs.” It’s her.

  “Mom, I was just saying hi to...” He pauses and scratches his waves, cocking his head. “Who are you?”

  “She works here,” Juliana sneers.

  “Oh,” he says and looks back at me. “So, what do you do?”

  I’m embarrassed. Totally fucking embarrassed. I would kick her horrible ass...if that sweet little boy wasn’t looking at me.

  “Actually, I rent one of the cabins, and I’m a good friend of Mags, so I’m helping her out. My name is Phoenix, Brandon. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  I reach my hand out again, and this time, his grin spreads as he shakes it.

  “Cool name.”

  “Yours, too.”

  “So, you sleep in my dad’s bed?”

  Shit, shit, shit.

  “It’s the most comfortable, and he’s not here, so I thought, why not.”

  “You should have slept in my bed. It’s super cool, and Dad helped me build it.”

  “That is super cool,” I say, focusing completely on his smile because, if I look up, that bitch’s glare will turn me to stone.

  “Brandon, let’s go see what Grandma and Mags are up to.”

  “Grandma said she wanted to talk to Mags alone, Mom.” He looks back at me. “Wanna see my bed?”

  “How about you go make sure it’s still standing after that storm, and I’ll come see it.”

  He giggles. “Okay, hurry up, Phoenix.”

  He runs out of the room, and I slide out of bed, not giving a shit that she’s standing there.

  “Nice underwear. Just a heads-up, Gage prefers lace over Walmart briefs.”

  “Thanks.” I start to walk away and turn. “He also prefers women who aren’t total fucking cunts.”

  “You need to get your shit and get out of here. We’re staying to help Mags. We’re family.”

  I feel my body tense. I am so pissed that Gage didn’t warn me, but fuck her.

  “Lied your way into that position too, so I hear.”

  “Don’t you dare pretend to know a goddamn thing about this family, my family.”

  “Don’t you dare pretend I’ll take your shit when that little boy isn’t in this room.”

  “Get your shit and hike your ass back to your little fucking rental.”

  “You lost him, Juliana; get over it. Leave him alone. Leave me alone.”

  “You think you’re better than me?” She laughs. “I did what I had to do.”

  “You are a money-grubbing whore.”

  “Please.” She laughs again. “This had nothing to do with money, and everything to do with my little boy.”

  “Karma’s a coming, Juliana. You should be really fucking happy Gage is the man he is.”

  “You know nothing about Gage. You have no idea what that man is like. And, little china doll, you aren’t even going to get a chance.”

  “Eat a bean, bitch,” I snap and point at the door.

  When the door flings open, I see a woman—a tall, curvy woman with long, dark hair—and I know immediately that she is Gage’s mother.

  I close my eyes, wishing I could disappear.

  “Ladies, I suggest you keep your tones down. If my grandson hears you, you’ll both answer to me.”

  “I’m sorry, Gail,” Juliana says then walks out the door.

  Gail shuts the door behind Juliana and looks at me.

  I am speechless. I have no idea what the hell to say to this woman, and I’m in a tank top and freaking briefs.

  “Hello,” she says, looking me up and down.

  “Hi. I’m going to get dressed.”

  “I’ll wait. You and I need to chat.”

  Thankfully, after I’m dressed, Brandon interrupts what I am sure would have been an even more awkward moment than what it already was. He grabs my hand and pulls me to his room.

  “Wow,” is all I can say.

  His smile widens. “We made the bed with logs from the woods. My dad is super strong. He dragged them out of the woods.”

  “I’m sure you helped him.” I’m still looking at the loft with branches that looks like a tree house in a very spacious bedroom.

  “I did.”

  He sniffs, and I look down.

  “You okay?”

  “Allergies.” He says it just like an adult would.

  “Brand,” I hear that nails on a chalkboard sound that is Juliana’s voice.

  He looks back. “Yes?”

  “Let’s you and I head to town to grab some things.” She holds her hand out to him.

  “Can’t I stay? We just got here. Phoenix will watch me.” He smiles at me.

  “No, Brandon. Let’s go.”

  He looks at me with incredibly sad eyes that look just like Gage’s, but I know that’s not the case.

  He looks back at her and says, “Fine. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  She looks at me, and I know she expects me to leave the room. I don’t.

  “Come see the bathtub. It’s like an acorn shell.” He drags me behind him.

  When I walk into his bathroom, I laugh. “It does.”

  “Dad likes baths.” He shrugs. “I didn’t until I got this one.”

  “I can see why.” I smile.

  He looks back at the door, then to me, before he pulls a phone out of his pocket. “Mom doesn’t like me to talk to Dad, but if he calls, will you tell him I’m here and he should come?”

  When I hesitate, he grabs my hand and sets it in it. “If you gotta leave, give it to Mags.”

  “Okay, Brand, I will.”

  He smiles again. “I like you.”

  “I like you, too.”

  When I walk down the stairs with Brand, he runs over and hugs Mags. “Be back soon.”

  “I’ll be waiting.” She smiles and squeezes him tighter.

  “Bye, Grandma,” he says, giving Gail a hug next.

  Then he comes back to me. I’m sure he’s going to hug me
, too, but he doesn’t. He holds out his hand, and I shake it.

  “See you later, Phoenix.”

  “See you later, Brandon.”

  Once they are out the door, Gail looks at me and says, “About that talk.” Then she begins walking toward the kitchen.

  “Here’s good, Gail,” Mags says.

  Gail looks at her, her face becoming expressionless.

  “Your oldest, Gage, he likes this young lady. So do I. I am not going to have you push her away,” Mags says, giving her the same look back. Then she looks at me. “Come sit, honey girl.”

  I sit next to her, while Gail stands stiff as a board before finally caving and sits in the oversized leather recliner across from us.

  “This family is going through some trials.”

  “By trials, you mean that Juliana lied to Gage about his son, that little boy that he loves.”

  Her stance straightens, and she looks at Mags.

  “Mags, it is not your place to tell her a damn thing about our family.”

  “Mags didn’t. Juliana came to the bar I work at and started an argument with Gage. He left, I followed her out with her coat, and heard part of a conversation.”

  “Then she popped her in the nose.” Mags laughs.

  “So, you have a temper. Do you think I want my grandson around a bartender with an attitude?”

  “She was sticking up for Gage,” Mags snaps at her. “He needs to know someone is in his corner, besides a frail, old woman. And he deserves to be able to move on.”

  “Gage is a very strong man; he doesn’t need anyone in his corner. He has his family, and when we get through all this, he’ll be stronger for it. Right now, we need his focus and strength.”

  “And what does Gage need? What does that boy, who has carried the burden of this family on his back and been treated like a damn workhorse, need, Gail? He needs her; he needs me; he needs his friends; and by God, he needs Brand.”

  “Brandon’s mother has cleaned up her act. She is a big piece to this family’s survival.”

  “What you have done is unforgivable.” Mags points at her. “The secret you’ve kept and now exposed because it fits into your plan for your son is inexcusable.”

  “You have no idea what’s going on, and I am warning you, Mags, we have been friends for too long for you to start a feud with me and my family.”

  “Gage told me. He told me everything before he left to go back to the city to work. You broke his heart. You’re his mother. You were supposed to protect him.”

  “I have three sons to worry over, Mags. Three.”

  “Well, it’s a damn good thing he has me, and he has Phoenix.” She takes my hand.

  For a moment, I think I see hurt in Gail’s eyes. Then they turn cold again.

  Mags squeezes my hand, and I look at her.

  “Brand’s father is—”

  “Don’t you dare,” Gail sneers at her.

  “—Garrett,” she says sadly.

  My hand covers my belly. I am immediately sickened. Gage told me he has two half-brothers: Garrett and Grayson.

  I look at Gail. “You knew this and let him believe he was the father to that little boy? You knew this and let that little boy think Gage was his father?”

  “Kids are resilient. And there is no one more capable of raising a child than Gage. When he wraps his head around it, he’ll understand I did what’s best for our entire family.”

  “My God,” I say, looking down. Then it hits me. “You told him the night of the storm.”

  She doesn’t answer.

  Now I feel even more sick. Was that what drove him to act so out of control with me? Was that why we spent nearly three days in bed, drinking and fucking? Was that why—

  I force myself to stop the insecurities flooding my brain and crushing my heart.

  After a few moments, she speaks again.

  “I’d like for you to move to town. I’ve written a check to cover your moving expenses, as well as the next two months’ rent. The place is beautiful, and I am sure you will be much more comfortable there than here. I’m also going to take care of your textbooks for college. I think it’s wise of you to continue your education. And Phoenix, trust me when I tell you that, when Gage is in a place like he is now, nothing matters but himself. Juliana and I will be taking care of Mags.” Mags starts to tell her no, but Gail talks over her. “I am your oldest friend. I need you to do this for me, for my sons, for this family.”

  I assume Gail knows my plans to go back to school because of Mags.

  Mags doesn’t respond, and I feel my entire reason for being here, to begin again, to be, has just been ripped away from me by one cold-hearted, unemotional bitch who shares DNA with Gage Falcon.

  “I need time to think.” I avoid looking at them while I stand.

  Mags grabs my hand, stopping me. “I’d like a moment alone with Phoenix.”

  Gail leaves the room, and Mags tells me, “Sit.”

  I do as she asks.

  “He’s a good man, honey girl.”

  I shake my head. If I open my mouth, I may cry.

  “He wants you here. I want you here. But if you need that money, if you need it and don’t plan on sticking around, then you go.”

  I have no idea what to say. I don’t need the money, and I don’t know what is real between Gage and I. He hasn’t texted in the morning and night like he had been, but I know he’s still texting Mags.

  “Phoenix Star, you need to listen to me for a moment. Nothing good comes easy. Nothing easy lasts. You falling for my boy, you don’t fight the fall. You fight for what you want, and what you know to be true.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You know, honey girl; you’re just fighting it.”

  “He’s pushing me away,” I whisper, clutching Brand’s phone in my hand.

  “He’s worth the fight, worth the fall, and you know it.”

  I shrug.

  “But my boy, he doesn’t know it.”

  I look at her.

  “Don’t fight the fall.”

  I hand her Brand’s phone. “He’s worried he’ll miss Gage’s call. Told me to give this to you if I leave.”

  She smiles and nods.

  “He wants him to come here, so if he calls, tell him that for Brand?” I stand up. “I’m not staying in this house while those two bitches are here.”

  Mags smiles and nods again.

  “I want to, Mags. I want to for you.”

  “I want you to get your little behind in that Jeep of yours, the one you fussed about when the man came to fix it. I want you to get in that Jeep, Phoenix Star, and I want you to go wherever your heart is telling you to go.”

  I nod and swipe away a falling tear.

  “Don’t fight the fall,” she says then stretches out her arms.

  When I hug her, the floodgates open, and I let out all the emotions I have tried to bury for years.

  She holds me tight and whispers, “67863 Madison Avenue, top floor.”

  I step back and look at her.

  “Go.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Burning House

  Gage

  Five Days Ago…

  I stand at the window, overlooking the city while waiting for Xavier’s brother-in-law’s, Kean and Keller Patrick, to bring Garrett to me. They found him in a fucking whorehouse in Vegas, drunk and coked up.

  I look back when I see Grayson’s reflection in the window.

  “Morning,” he mumbles.

  “Morning,” I say back. “Coffee’s hot.”

  “They here yet?” he asks as he walks into the kitchen.

  “No, but they should be soon.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and check for a message. Nothing new.

  “How soon?” he asks

  I turn around and look at him. He looks as much a mess as I feel on the inside. Like he wants to crawl out of his own fucking skin.

  “You think you need that coffee?”

  He nods. “I think I need mor
e than coffee.”

  “I’m sure we both do, but that’s probably not in the best interest of this”—I dig really fucking deep to say a word that feels a hell of a lot more like a curse than a blessing—“family.”

  He drinks down his coffee like he’s doing a shot then sets the cup in the sink. “I’m going to shower.”

  I nod, turning back toward the window to watch, to wait, to try to remain calm.

  Calm.

  The Landing.

  Mags.

  Brand.

  Phoenix.

  I open my messenger and look to see when the last time I sent her a message was. Three days.

  It wasn’t fucking right to add her to the list of those I depend on to keep my shit straight. It was fucking selfish. It wasn’t right that when I found out Garrett was Brand’s father, I took it out on her. It wasn’t and I knew it. I’m better than that.

  But the morning after the first time I fucked her hard, when she was sliding out of my bed, I couldn’t let her go.

  Nearly three days she took it. Nearly three days I used her because it felt so fucking good to be inside her. Add the exorbitant amount of alcohol I consumed and the realization of the actual hell I was pulled into, I needed her.

  I have never needed a fucking thing in my life as much as I needed her.

  Now...Now I need to stay the fuck away, because what I am facing, what Gray told me, what our mother kept from us, what I kept from them, a promise to a brother so many fucking years ago, was brought from the dark and into the light so that Brand, the boy who has been my fucking son yet is my nephew. How the fuck do you make that okay for a boy his age? How do you make it okay without fucking him up as bad as everyone around him?

  My wish, dream, prayer is that someday that little man can look at his father the way he looks at me. That wish, dream, prayer is also the heaviest of burdens I have ever felt in my entire life, and my road has been long and dusty since day one.

  Christ, what a fucking mess. A mess that little firecracker certainly didn’t need to be dragged into.

  Staying away has not been easy. In fact, it’s been hell.

  I lean against the glass and type out a message I have typed a fucking thousand times.

  - You good?

  And I delete it because, needing to know she is, wanting her to know I’m thinking about her, and not just her fucking pussy but her fight, her determination, that little woman who has the strength of a thousand men, I could easily suck it out of her. Drain her. Consume her. But, in the end, I can’t do what has been done to me all my fucking life.