Freddy and the Dragon

by Walter R. Brooks

  When Gimpy got up to the cave and found it full of state troopers, he decided not to try to find Jack. He drove back to the hotel. There, finding the bag open and the snake gone, he didn’t stay long either. The maid hadn’t been in to make his bed yet, so he could only think it was the police who had searched his room and let the snake out. He didn’t even bother to hunt for him. He had been thinking of retiring from business anyway, and this seemed like the right time. He got in his car and drove out of the story.

  After Samuel left, Freddy had a talk with the snake. He seemed sincere in his desire to have a real home and live a normal snake’s life. But it is very hard to tell when a snake is sincere. Freddy could size up animals and people pretty well, but he admitted that snakes were beyond him. He said they always looked as if they were lying, even when they were telling the truth, because even in repose their faces always had a kind of sly smile. So Freddy untied him and gave him some grasshoppers and then put him in the old rattrap.

  “I’ve got to think about it awhile before I let you go,” he said. “You just sit quiet and think about your sins.”

  That night Freddy slept in the box stall next to Hank. He didn’t dare go home to the pig pen, for the police had visited it several times, and if they came again and found a boy in a sailor suit in Freddy’s bed, it would certainly make them suspicious. In the morning, hearing voices in the cow barn, he went in and found Percy chatting with a number of field mice who had become so enchanted with his polished manners that they called on him three or four times a day. Field mice are very impressionable, and although they haven’t any better manners than anyone else, they appreciate the social graces.

  Later more and more mice came, until Freddy was afraid that Percy’s polish would crack under the strain, and so he had Jinx chase them away. Mrs. Wiggins had just had a report from Mr. Pomeroy. No new outrages had taken place in Centerboro during the night, and the hunt for Freddy was still on. A man had been knocked down and robbed by a pig on the Centerboro road, and armed men were searching the countryside for him.

  Mrs. Wiggins said: “Haven’t you been kind of forgetting Jimmy Wiggs? He was here yesterday looking for you. Said he couldn’t find you anywhere, and you’d promised to help with his circus. The circus is day after tomorrow, and I’m afraid he thinks you’ve run off and forgotten him. He was almost crying about it.”

  “Gee whiz!” Freddy exclaimed. “I’ve been so busy.… I’ll ride over to South Pharisee and see him right away.”

  He didn’t take Jinx with him, because he knew the police would recognize the cat, but he took Samuel Jackson, for he had an idea that the mole could be useful at the circus. He had a long talk with Jimmy, who was delighted to see him, and arrangements were made for the dragon’s appearance. They went to the local printer and gave an order for some posters. Jimmy said he’d see that they were put up in Centerboro, Tushville, Clamville, Upper Cattawampus and Gomorrah Center, as well as South Pharisee.… Samuel’s suggestions were a great help. Then Freddy rode back to the farm.

  When he got there, Mr. and Mrs. Bean were on the back porch, and around them on the grass were most of the farm animals, with Lieutenant Sparrow of the state police. Freddy got his handkerchief up to his nose and went up to them.

  Of course, the sailor suit was pretty conspicuous and the Lieutenant caught sight of him at once. “Hey, you!” he called. “Come here a minute.”

  Freddy went slowly, wiping his nose and dragging his feet. The Lieutenant sat down on the edge of the porch and he grabbed Freddy under the arms and lifted him up beside him. But he didn’t let go.

  “Golly, you’re too fat, boy,” he said. “Ticklish, are you?” And he wiggled his fingers.

  Freddy was indeed ticklish. But the knowledge of the warrant for his arrest probably even now in the Lieutenant’s pocket kept him from squirming and giggling. He managed to summon up a tremendous sneeze that broke the trooper’s hold on him.

  “You let be be!” he whined. “You ought to be ashabed to pick od little boys! I’ll sdeeze od you ad give you by cold!”

  The Lieutenant drew back. “Why I know you, just like I know everybody in Centerboro. You’re Peppercorn Talcum, staying at old Mrs. Peppercorn’s with your grandmother. And you’ve got hay fever. Just like she told me, it runs in the family.”

  “Sure, I got hay fever, ad a cold od top of it, too,” Freddy said. “You wadda catch by cold, I dod’t care.” And he sneezed again at the trooper.’

  The latter moved back a little more, but he reached out and stuck a finger into Freddy’s ribs. “Tickely-tickely!” he said.

  Freddy forgot he was a little boy for a minute. “Oh, don’t be so silly!” he said. Then he remembered. “You stop it!” he whined. “I’ll tell by gradbother, you big bully, you!”

  The Lieutenant gave his big roaring laugh. “And I suppose she’d come sneeze at me and blow me away, hey? Well, well, I’d better not pester you. Just wanted to ask if you’d seen that smart pig, Freddy, anywhere today.”

  “Do, I have’dt, ad if I had I would’t tell you,” said Freddy crossly. He was afraid that if the Lieutenant liked children, he might pick him up and take him on his lap, and then he would certainly discover what he was; so he acted as mean and whiney as possible.

  The Lieutenant shrugged his shoulders and turned to Mr. Bean. “Well, as I told you, six of my men went in that cave last night, and only two have come out. There’s dozens of rooms and big halls and passages winding every which way; the whole hill must be hollow. There’s four men lost in there, and even when you hear one of ’em yell a long way off, you don’t dare go in after him for fear of getting lost yourself. Their flashlights must be dead by this time, too, so they’re in the dark. That’s why I want a map. Your pig said there was one, made by spiders, but of course I don’t believe that. But whoever made it, I’ve got to see it and get my boys out of there before they starve to death.”

  Mr. Bean looked at his animals. “Any of you know about this map?”

  “Sure,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “It’s tacked up in the cow barn. But it’s just spider webs stuck on a piece of paper. Freddy lettered in some of the places. You’ll have to be awful careful of it.”

  “Maybe I ought to get a spider to go along and show me the way,” said the Lieutenant, and roared with laughter. But he took the map and handled it very carefully, and got in his car and drove off.

  When he’d gone, Freddy said: “We’d better take the Webbs up to the cave to help. You know they said there were a lot of passages they didn’t explore, and that explains why they didn’t find where the pigs and the dog lived. And the other horse. And with all those troopers yelling around in the cave, I’ll bet Jack and the rest of ’em have gone deeper in, so they won’t be found.”

  When they went in the cow barn to get the spiders, Percy was grumbling to himself over something, and Freddy asked what was the matter.

  “Oh,” said the bull, “it’s these animals—some of ’em, specially that rooster Charles. They’ve started calling me Perce. And there’s nothing I hate worse than being called Perce. It’s so undignified.”

  “Oh, I think you’ve gotten it wrong,” said the pig. “I think it’s because they like you. They’re getting used to you, and you’re one of ’em. My name’s Frederick, but everybody calls me Freddy.”

  “But can I be called Perce and still be a gentleman?”

  “Oh, I think so. It’s how you act to them, not how they act to you, that makes you a gentleman.”

  “Mmmm,” the bull rumbled. “But that rooster. He’s so darn patronizing.”

  “He is to everybody,” said Freddy. “But he’s a good fellow. We all overlook that way of his, because we know he’ll stick by us if there’s trouble.”

  “Well, if you say so,” said Percy doubtfully. But he stopped grumbling.

  Freddy, with Jinx on the handlebars and the Webbs on his hat, rode up to within a short distance of the cave. Then they hid the bicycle in the bushes and climbed around the hil
l to the opening into the cave on the west side that the spiders had found.

  “The web we spun is still here,” said Mr. Webb, “if you want to go in a ways.”

  “It’s pretty dark,” said Freddy.

  “I know the way in the dark even without the web,” said the spider. “It’s not far to the room that had the fire in it. Jinx can see some; I’ll ride on his ear and direct him. You can catch hold of his tail and follow.”

  Freddy could think of only one more objection. “Won’t I get my sailor suit all dirty?”

  “There’s no dirt. It’s all white limestone.”

  So they went in. In a few minutes they saw the reflected flicker of the fire. They crept up to the door and looked in. Seated in the doorway with his back to them was Jack. He had a shotgun on his knees, and opposite him, seated on the floor, were two troopers. Their guns were still in the holsters but their hands were clasped behind their heads. They looked very unhappy.

  “Jump him,” said Mr. Webb in Jinx’s ear, and swung off on to the wall. Jinx looked at Freddy, and Freddy nodded, and then Freddy jammed his sailor hat tight down over his ears and dove at Jack’s back and sent him sprawling into the middle of the room. At the same moment, Jinx landed on the man’s head, digging in with all his claws. Jack gave a screech, his gun fell to the floor where one of the troopers grabbed it; the other trooper snapped handcuffs on Jack’s wrists.

  At the same moment Jinx landed on the man’s head.

  Freddy’s hat had come off, and the first trooper stared at him. “Hey,” he said, “you’re that pig, Freddy. You’re under arrest.”

  “What are you talking about?” Freddy said. “I just rescued you and helped you catch the crook that’s been causing all the trouble around here.”

  “Yeah,” said the man, “that’s to your credit. When you go to prison you’ll probably get some time off for that. But I got to take you in, all the same.”

  “Take me in to where?”

  “Jail, of course.”

  “And how you going to get me there?” Freddy asked. “You know the way out of this place?”

  “No, but you’ll show us the way.”

  “Not if you’re going to arrest me,” said Freddy.

  “I’m sorry,” the trooper said. “We’re grateful for your helping us. But it’s my duty to arrest you, and I’ve got to do it.” And he reached for his gun.

  Jinx and Freddy ducked quickly out of the door. Freddy felt his ear tickle as Mr. Webb dropped down on it.

  “The Lieutenant has the map now,” said Jinx. “He’ll get’em out all right.”

  “Oh sure, they’re perfectly safe,” said the pig. “Now if you Webbs are willing, I think you ought to explore some more of the cave. Try to find the other lost troopers, and also the living-quarters of the rest of the gang. There are a couple of pigs and a dog and a horse, I think. We’ll send J. J. Pomeroy for you here tonight.”

  “Better make it tomorrow night,” said Mr. Webb. “There’s an awful lot more to that cave than we’ve seen.”

  So the two friends started down the hill. And suddenly Freddy, noticing a movement in the brush, pounced.

  To see a pig pounce is something; to see a pig pounce who’s dressed up as a little boy in a sailor suit is indeed something. Jinx said afterwards that no cat could have leaped more nimbly and accurately at a mouse than Freddy did. And Freddy came up with a brown, short-legged, weasel-like animal in his strong jaws. An animal that struggled and tried viciously to claw and bite his captor.

  “Hey, a mink!” Jinx exclaimed. “I bet it’s that Thurlow that Percy said was one of the gang. Watch those teeth, boy. A mink is meaner than a weasel.”

  Freddy couldn’t talk with his mouth full of mink. He nodded. Then as the animal continued to struggle more wildly than ever, he scrunched him fairly hard between his long jaws. That put an end to the struggles for a minute or two. But when they got out the bicycle and rode back to the farm, Freddy had to scrunch him half a dozen more times.

  At the barn they got some cord and tied Thurlow up so he couldn’t move. Then Freddy went in and borrowed Mrs. Bean’s hairbrush. He called all the animals together, and then he took Thurlow across his knee and gave him a good sound spanking with the brush.

  This was a smart thing for Freddy to do. The Beans wouldn’t want to keep a mink shut up in a cage, and they wouldn’t dare let him go, because in revenge he would probably raid the henhouse some night and eat up half of Charles and Henrietta’s daughters. But Freddy knew that while a mink is ferocious and vicious, he has a fierce pride. To publicly spank a mink shames him so that he cannot ever again bear to see those who have looked on at his punishment. As Hank said: “You’ve drawed his poison. Cut him loose now and he’ll slink off and you’ll never see him again.”

  But Freddy was taking no chances. He kept Thurlow tied up, and two days later when Uncle Ben drove them over to South Pharisee, he took the mink and released him just west of Clamville. None of them ever saw him again.

  CHAPTER 14

  The posters advertising Jimmy Wiggs’s circus were tacked up all over the county. The dragon, of course, was the chief attraction, although there was a unicorn (this was Cy with a broom handle fastened to his head); a spotted leopard hound from Arabia (Jimmy’s fox terrier with a few extra dots of shoe-blacking); an abominable snowman (a friend of Jimmy’s dressed in a polar-bear skin); and other similar animals. There was also a ghost who told fortunes. He occupied a small tent containing a chair and table; he himself was invisible. He was, of course, Samuel Jackson, under the grass beneath the table.

  All these curiosities were described in the poster, but the main thing was the dragon. He was described as 1,126 years old (which is young for a dragon), his forefathers having for thousands of years occupied the old family cave at the west end of Otesaraga Lake. He was not a prisoner, had not been captured, but had been persuaded by Jimmy, who had met him on the back road one afternoon, to come over and give an exhibition of fire-breathing for the circus. He was willing to do this because he liked boys, not, he hastened to explain, as his forefathers had, served with melted butter and apple sauce on the side, but he liked their company. He was therefore not dangerous and did not eat children, though he sometimes snapped at bad parents. Boys were advised to keep away from his nose, as he breathed fire and they might get their pants singed.

  The posters aroused a great deal of curiosity, and from early morning on the day of the circus the roads to South Pharisee were jammed with cars, bicycles, and animals. Mr. Bean hitched up Hank and drove Mrs. Bean, the chickens, and ducks over in the buggy. A great many people from Centerboro went. Even Mrs. Peppercorn, though she still had not recovered her bicycle, begged a ride for herself and Mrs. Talcum in Mrs. Church’s big car. Mrs. Talcum’s sneezes embarrassed the chauffeur, for they sounded like backfires, or as if something was the matter with the engine, and he was proud of keeping the car in perfect shape. He grumbled about it later to Mrs. Church, who said: “This car is not to be sneezed at,” and went off into a gale of laughter. But the chauffeur didn’t even smile.

  All the Bean animals went. Most of them had accounts in the First Animal Bank, and drew out ten cents for a ticket. Those who had no money borrowed from those who did. But when they got there Mr. Bean insisted on buying them all tickets himself. He also bought them all popcorn. Even each of the mice—Eek, Eeny, Quik, and Cousin Augustus—had a bag to himself. The mice didn’t see much of the show. When they had eaten all they could, they were too stuffed to move, and they just lay down among the kernels in the bags and went to sleep.

  The dragon was to make four appearances: at 11:00 a.m., 2:00 p.m., 4:00 p.m., and 8:00 p.m. At 11:00 exactly Jimmy threw open the barndoor and announced in a loud voice: “Ladies and gentlemen, Beelzebub, the dragon of Otesaraga Lake!” And the dragon crawled slowly out. He was indeed a horrid sight, with his long ferocious snout, his long body with the dark green scales, and his twelve clawed feet. He stood there for a moment, lashing his tail
as Jinx jumped from side to side inside him.

  The audience drew back in alarm, with a gasp of amazement, but Jimmy put his hand on the dragon’s head. “Do not be afraid, ladies and gentlemen,” he announced. “I assure you he is quite harmless. You boys, let me advise you, however, not to pick on him. He has a short temper. And I wouldn’t advise you to try to pet him. He does not like to be petted or to have his ears scratched. How about breathing a little fire, Beelzebub?” And the dragon obliged. Freddy threw some dry grass on the coals and blew, and flames and smoke shot out of the dragon’s mouth and nostrils.

  So then Jimmy led the dragon around through the back yard and the vacant lot next door, which was the fair grounds. Once Jimmy’s older brother, who was sort of a smart aleck, sneaked up and stuck a pin in the dragon. He really stuck the pin into Freddy. The dragon turned his front end quickly with a squeal of rage (which some people might have thought sounded a good deal like a pig’s squeal) and blew a blast of fire and smoke at the boy. It didn’t burn him, but his clothes smelled horribly of burning rubber for a month.

  Around by the entrance gate Lieutenant Sparrow was just paying admission for himself and his ten-year-old boy, Jefferson. The Lieutenant saw the dragon and hesitated. “Jeff,” he said, “it says on the poster that this creature sometimes snaps at bad parents. Do you—well, I’m a good parent, ain’t I?”

  “Oh, sure, Pop,” said the boy. “Come on, I won’t let him nip you.”

  As the dragon went by, the crowd drew back to a respectful distance. Freddy had been afraid that some of the bolder and more curious spectators might want to come up and pull the dragon’s tail or poke him in the ribs. But they all edged back as he went by, though they stared hard with their mouths open. Every time he blew out a puff of fire and smoke, the crowd gasped, and moved back a step. And then with a last lash of his tail Beelzebub disappeared again into the barn, and Jimmy closed the door.

  “Next appearance at two p.m.,” he announced.