One to Hold

by Tia Louise

  He lifted me and slid out, lowering me to my shaky legs. “Thank you,” he whispered. My forehead rested against his cheek, and I felt almost as if it were a dream.

  “Thank you,” I repeated, stepping back carefully. I located my bra and put it on before pulling the sleeves of my dress back over my shoulders. I slid the zipper up slowly as I watched him restore his pants, fasten his buckle.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I’d never done anything like this in my life, and I was at a total loss—what now? Did we shake hands and walk away? We’d already thanked each other, another thing I’d never done—thanked a man for sex. Of course, this guy had completely earned it.

  He stopped before putting on his shirt and took a step toward me, blue gaze catching mine. “We’ll both be here all week?” he said, and the intoxicating scent of his woodsy cologne flooded my senses.

  I nodded, knowing what he was getting at.

  “I’ll be tied up with meetings and networking during the day,” he said. “But every night, I’ll go to that bar.”

  I studied him. A one-night stand was one thing, but a one-week stand? With him? After that? It felt like a recipe for disaster. It was going to be hard enough to move past what just happened between us, but adding five more days on top of it? I might never recover.

  “I’ll be on some regimen at the spa, I guess,” I said, my eyes never leaving his.

  He put one palm on the wall beside my face and lowered his. Our mouths were a breath apart. “I hope I’ll see you again.”

  I almost melted on the spot. My eyes blinked slowly. “It’s a nice bar. And I like cava.”

  That small grin lifted the side of his mouth, and he kissed me lightly before straightening up and slipping the shirt back over his head. His hair was now in messy waves, and I wanted to run my fingers through them again. Instead, I stepped into my wedge stacks and took the hand he offered as he led me through the dark room and out the side door. He paused to lock it and then turned to face me.

  “Shall I escort you back to your room?” he asked.

  I shook my head no. I didn’t want him knowing my room number yet, although he could easily ask the front desk for it, I supposed.

  “Then adieu,” he said, lifting my hand and kissing it. “Til tomorrow night.”

  I watched until he released me, then I turned and walked as steadily as possible to the exit, to the spa side of the resort where we were staying.

  Chapter 2 – Not Available in Any Way

  The tenderness in my thigh muscles combined with a feeling of calm satisfaction deep inside me were the first indicators what happened last night was not a dream. The next was the scent of his woodsy cologne in my long, dark hair. I lifted a lock and pressed it to my nose, closing my eyes and enjoying his warm scent. It triggered a damp flicker of memory between my legs.

  For several long moments, I lay in the soft hotel bed, replaying how last night even happened. Elaine and I had gone to the bar straight from checking in and dropping our bags in our room. We were tired after a long two-days of travel that started with me in Maryland and her in North Carolina. Our first night was spent in Atlanta, where we’d shared a room and stayed awake almost all night talking and catching up. Then we’d flown cross-country to Arizona, and even though it felt early, the day of switching airplanes, running through airports, and hauling bags after our late night had us both tired. I was doubly weighed-down by the problems I’d left at home. One drink, and Elaine wanted to sleep. But I’d wanted to have another. I needed the alcohol to deaden the nonstop pain of my shattered life.

  And then he’d appeared.

  Images of me pressed against the patio wall, his huge cock thrusting into me, both of us groaning loudly as we came flashed across my memory, and my eyes flew wide. I blinked at the ceiling, thinking about how insane that was. How stupid and potentially dangerous. Clearly the last year hadn’t only left me depressed, it also left me engaging in out-of-character and unbelievably risky behavior.

  A shiver of longing moved through me at the memory of being held against his firm chest. I sighed. Risky, yes, but how incredibly hot and amazing he was. And he didn’t hurt me. He was actually very attentive. He held me all the way to the end, and he even thanked me. My nose wrinkled as a sneaky grin passed over my lips. I thanked him back. What was that about?

  Then I thought about tonight. Him at the bar waiting. Would I go back? My immediate answer was yes, but was that smart? I had a hot memory of the most incredible sex of my life. Maybe it was best to preserve it and not tempt fate with something I’d only leave behind in one short week.

  “What time did you get in last night?” Elaine stepped out of the bathroom interrupting my thoughts. She wore one of the thick, white terry robes, and she patted her damp, blonde hair with an equally plush towel.

  “I don’t remember,” I said, rolling onto my stomach. “It wasn’t too late. Are we hitting the spa today?”

  “I’ve got us scheduled for massages at eleven, then we’ll have lunch in the quiet room, then we can hang around the deck pool. I’ve heard the waiters there are panty-dropping hot.”

  I smiled, thinking they’d have to be off the charts to top what I’d had last night. “Sound like the perfect, relaxing day.”

  Elaine sat on the edge of the bed, drawing her brows together. “You look pretty relaxed right now. What’d you do after I left?”

  “Just had another drink. People-watched.”

  She pressed her lips together in disbelief, but she didn’t pursue it. “You’d better get moving if you’re going to shower first.”

  “Don’t they just cover us in oil anyway?” I pushed myself to a sitting position.

  “That’s part of the detoxification.”

  “Then I’ll just do a quick rinse and shower after.” I hated the residue of oil on my skin all day, although in the desert, it would probably be a welcome relief from the dryness.

  Elaine’s tone grew serious. “Have you heard anything?”

  My troubles at home came threatening back, and I looked down at my hands as I shook my head. “I emailed everyone that we were out of town for the week. Taking a mental health break. It should be enough.”

  She exhaled and patted the top of my hands. “You’re doing the right thing.”

  My eyes flickered to hers, and tears threatened. She was the first person to voice support for me since the ordeal began, and it meant everything. I scooted forward to hug her, and she hugged me with a deep inhale. Instantly she jerked and pulled back, studying my face with narrowed eyes.

  “What’s that smell?”

  My face flushed bright red, and I pulled away. She caught my long hair and pulled it to her nose. “That’s a very nice man-scent if I’ve ever smelled one.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what it is. Just some old cologne.”

  “Not your old cologne. What else happened after you finished your drink?”

  Jumping off the bed, I quickly grabbed yoga pants, a bra, and a tank before stepping into the bathroom.

  “Melissa?” Elaine was hot on my trail. I pushed the door closed, but she caught it in a crack.

  “I just slow-danced with some guy,” I lied, coiling my hair into a knot at the top of my head. “It was nothing.”

  “Just slow danced? He wears a lot of cologne, then.” Her voice rose. “Unless it was more like dirty-dancing.”

  She had no idea. I turned on the shower, holding my hand under the spray to test the temperature. “Seriously, let’s just drop it,” I said. “You know I’m not interested in meeting anyone. And anyway, I’m not available.”

  “Maybe not emotionally available.”

  I pulled the glass shower door closed. “Not available in any way.”

  Warm, oil-coated hands slid down the length of my back, pushing all the pain down and out through my torso. I lay on a crisp white sheet atop the firm massage table, entirely naked except for a second sheet draped across my bum. Water trickled softly in the desktop founta
in, creating a relaxing ambience, and soft beach noises played on a track overhead. The room was dark, and incense lightly filled the air.

  I’d never been one of those people who moaned and groaned through massages, but I was on the verge today. When the female masseuse began working on my thighs, the fresh ache from last night’s unexpected workout flooded my mind with memories of Derek. I wanted to see him again. I wanted his huge fullness inside me again, stretching me and coaxing every sensitive spot. I wanted to shoot over the edge in another incredible orgasm with him. But what I’d said to Elaine was true. I was not available.

  Still, he hadn’t asked me for a commitment, and from what I could tell, he wasn’t looking for anything. One week, he’d said. We could share one week of pleasure, couldn’t we? It could be our little secret. Or was I too old-school for that?

  The masseuse gently helped me roll over, keeping the second sheet over my private parts. Her expert hands moved to my shoulders, pushing the stress away as her strong thumbs circled, traveling up my neck to my scalp. I remembered the sensation of Derek’s lips, his scratchy beard traveling down my neck to my breasts. Moisture was growing between my legs, and I could feel my nipples harden. Luckily the sheet was doubled thick across my chest.

  The masseuse gently placed her palms flat against my shoulders.

  “Rest until you’re ready to come out, Ms. Jones,” she said softly before leaving me alone in the small, dark room.

  With my eyes closed, I remembered his touch. My hands were flat on the table beside me as I lay on my back. I remembered him gripping my bare buttocks, squeezing them as he rocked me against the curtain, covering my body with his. I remembered pulling off my bra and his ravenous kisses, his gentle bites. I remembered his thick fingers pushing inside me, and instinctively, my hands slipped to my now-tingling clitoris, massaging circles over the sensitive spot. With my eyes closed, I felt his enormous cock push inside me, and in that instant, my body shook with the orgasm I’d provoked. My legs trembled, and I pressed my lips together to keep from moaning loudly.

  I wanted him again. Oh, god, even if I wasn’t available in any way, I wanted him again so badly.

  Out by the pool, I lay back in the lounge chair, hiding behind dark sunglasses. My hair still had residual oils in it from the massage, but I hadn’t washed it. Behind the magazine I held, I casually lifted a lock and sniffed his warm cologne lingering in it.

  In my head, I scolded myself. What was I doing? I had to stop this immediately. I slammed the magazine down and stripped off the terry robe I was wearing. In my red bikini, I was still mistaken for being younger than thirty. My stomach was flat, and my skin was tight. No cellulite on my thighs, and my favorite exercise, running, kept my derriere lifted. I’d always just called it good genes, although this last year of pain had taken the once-happy glow from my eyes. My former, easy smile seemed permanently a thing of the past. It was a big part of what made observers think I was younger, and now it was gone. Stolen from me.

  Stepping up on the diving board, I fixed my chin. I strode across the plank and did a perfect jackknife dive into the pool, allowing the cooling water to wash away the final remnants of last night. I was not available in any way.

  Twilight in the desert was a beautiful sight.

  Elaine and I held glasses of wine as we watched the huge sky turn from blue to pink to dim purple, the fire-pit in the center of our circle of lounge chairs keeping us from getting chilled. As always, I was amazed how the temperature could drop from the 100s to the 70s so fast.

  “Wasn’t today perfect?” my friend asked as she stretched out, covering herself with one of the complimentary Indian-designed blankets folded across the backs of each chair.

  “Perfectly relaxing,” I agreed, taking another sip of my wine and forbidding my mind from drifting to the small bar situated between the two halves of the sprawling resort.

  He would be there waiting, I was sure of it. And I wondered what reason he would tell himself when I never appeared. He was an amazing lay, and I knew he knew it. I’d been clearly satisfied last night. I took a deep breath and exhaled, drinking another, longer gulp of wine. I couldn’t imagine what he’d think.

  “Still nothing from home?” Elaine asked, studying my profile.

  A missed call had been on my phone, and I’d listened to Sloan’s message, demanding to know where I was as I fought the pain his voice now twisted in my gut. I was making a mistake, he kept saying. I was being too hasty, too judgmental. Every message was a lecture in why I shouldn’t trust my instincts. I pushed his words and their meaning behind me.

  “Nothing important,” I said.

  “You know, Mel, we’ve been friends for years.” She sat forward in her chair, tightening the blanket around her shoulders. “Something’s different today. Won’t you tell me what it is?”

  My eyes flickered to hers, and for a moment, I considered telling her about the amazing man who’d appeared at the bar last night. Who’d only wanted me, even with all the shiny, happy options twisting and giggling on the dance floor. He’d singled me out. Crossed the bar to be with me.

  With damaged me.

  Even in the old days when I was whole, no man had ever approached me that way. All of my relationships got serious after the groundwork of friendship had been laid. Either I’d had a project with a man, and after our personalities had meshed, we’d grown into dating. Or even back in college—I’d been in clubs, socializing for weeks with guys before they’d asked me out. It wasn’t that I wasn’t attractive, and I’d had my share of sexual encounters. I was just never the girl men sought out from across a room crowded with other options.

  Until last night.

  I felt special, but at the same time, it made me hesitant. Was it possible I was singled out because I was an easy mark? A woman alone, clearly unhappy would easily fall victim to the charms of such a handsome seducer.

  Again, these were the not-so sunny thoughts my now-cynical brain conjured when I thought of myself and love. Would I ever be open again or would my heart forever be searching for the hidden truth, the other side of the coin?

  “I’m tired,” I exhaled, unfolding my legs from beneath me. “I think I’ll turn in early tonight if that’s okay.”

  With her question unanswered, Elaine frowned as she watched me rise. “You’ve been dealt some heavy disappointment this past year,” she said. “Try not to give up, okay?”

  I nodded, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. “Don’t stay up too late. Mani-pedis in the morning?”

  She smiled and nodded. “The calf massage will make you come in your chair, from what I’ve heard.”

  I laughed. “You’ve heard a lot about this place.”

  “Bulletin board reviews. They’re unexpectedly erotic.”

  Chapter 3 – The Additional Option

  Calf and foot massages kept pedicures at the top of my list of all-time favorite spa-treatments. It was the one procedure that almost made me forget my “silent spa” etiquette. Holding the magazine, I leaned my head back in the chair and closed my eyes. The gentle kneading of my tired lower leg muscles had me conceding to Elaine—this week very well could break me out of my funk. Even without the Derek encounter.

  My eyelids drooped with fatigue. Last night, I’d tossed and turned for an hour before finally falling into a restless slumber. I kept seeing his blue eyes turned dark navy with desire. For me. The thought made me shiver. Until 2 a.m., all I could do was wonder if he was still there. How long would he wait? Was I making a huge mistake?

  Elaine returned about an hour later, and my sterner nature prevailed. I remained in my own bed, in my own room the entire night. Today, she was a little bleary herself.

  “What kept you out so late?” I asked, wondering if she might’ve had her own decadent encounter.

  “Fell asleep on the lounger by the fire pit,” she said, propping her newly buffed and polished feet on the empty tub near mine. The clinician had finished my massage and was now scrubbing my heels
with a pumice stone. “It’s so gorgeous here, I might never go home.”

  I thought of Baltimore and how I hadn’t wanted to move there a year ago. I’d lived just outside Wilmington, on the North Carolina coast for years, and I loved it there. But Sloan had insisted a change of scenery would help us, and when his father died, he needed to be closer to his family’s business.

  Since I’d gone freelance with my marketing work, and we were moving to another bustling, urban location, there was no reason to fight the move. Other than I loved my hometown. Elaine was there, along with all my old friends.

  “I know this is only Day 2, my friend, but I have a confession to make,” she said, giving me a serious look. My brow creased. I couldn’t imagine what she was about to tell me. “I can’t eat another meal of raw foods.”

  I snorted a laugh, rubbing my forehead with my hand. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Let’s sneak over to the dark side and order a burger in the main restaurant.”

  I hesitated. Crossing from the spa resort to the main hotel would increase my chances of running into Derek again. But if he were tied up in conference meetings like he claimed, it was possible we could get in and out without being seen. Still, the thought of bumping into him after my no-show last night made me uneasy.

  “Maybe we should just drive into town,” I suggested. “I think there’s some big thing going on next door and it’s probably crowded.”

  She played with the massage-chair controller while she waited, and didn’t notice my worried expression. “A banker’s convention,” she said, not looking up. “Can you imagine a bigger snooze-fest? Probably a bunch of accountants.”