Her Beating Hart

by J. L. Ostle

  “Me?” I ask.

  “Just you. I have never had any interest in being with a girl before. Until recently, I just enjoyed fucking women.”

  I know its past tense, but knowing he slept with other women gives me this funny feeling I can't put my finger on.

  He used to be a player.

  “You see me as more than a fuck?”

  “I do. Don’t get me wrong, I want to fuck you so bad that my dick is yelling out to you, but fuck me, just being around you is intoxicating.” His eyes pierce mine.

  “What if I want you to fuck me though?” My body starts to heat up, the atmosphere changing.

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “You would turn me down.” I sit closer to him.

  “Yes.” His eyes following my movement.

  “Even if I begged? You said all I had to do was ask.” I start stroking along my neck to the top of my breasts with my finger. “What if I touched myself in front of you, would you still say no?” I glide my hand down to my thigh, opening my legs a little. “Would you deny me, even though you want to please me?” I start rubbing myself over my pants.

  Fuck, I find myself turned on.

  “Winter.” His voice is hoarse.

  “Trent, don’t you want to be inside me?” I pant out. My eyes close as I start grinding against my hand.

  “Winter.” I hear him, but I don’t stop.

  I call out his name. “Trent.” I can feel the heat radiating from me through my clothes.

  Soon I am being pulled so I am straddling him, his hands on my hips, and he starts rocking me against him. Feeling his erection press against me is making me want to throw out all my morals and let this beautiful stranger, who I only met a few days ago, have his wicked way with me.

  I deserve this.

  He makes me feel good.

  Even if it doesn’t last, right now I know this is more than just an easy fuck for him. I start grinding myself harder against him. His fingers dig into me and I go faster; I feel that ache rising as our breathing comes in fast. I'm so close, but then our movements stop. I open my eyes to look at him and he is looking down, his chest rising and falling fast.

  Why did he stop?

  “Are you okay?”

  “We had to stop. It was getting too far.”

  “I thought that was the point,” I tease him.

  He looks up at me. I see heat, but I also see something else. “I want our first time together to be better than a fuck on your couch. I want you Winter, but not like this.”

  I move myself so I'm sitting next to him. “You're turning me down?” I ask him.

  “I'm only saying not like this. Let's get to know each other.”

  “But you are attracted to me?”

  He looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Fuck, I'm attracted to you, I just don’t want to ruin this. Like you said earlier, I want to not let this fizzle out.”

  I nod. “But we get to make out?” I smile at him.

  I scream when he pins me down on the couch. “That we can definitely do.” He kisses me hard, his body hovering above mine. “There is no way in hell I could not kiss you.” He pecks my lips.

  “Good, because that would be a deal breaker for me,” I giggle.

  He smiles at me. “Good to know.” He kisses me again.

  Excerpt - Chapter 4

  I wake up smiling when I feel Trent spooning me from behind: he slept over last night as neither of us wanted to leave the other. I stretch a little and feel his erection press against my ass. Smirking I start rubbing myself against him until his hands stop me.

  “That isn’t very nice,” he says in a groggy voice.

  I smile. “I thought it would feel very nice.”

  I yelp when he turns me over, pinning me down. He starts grinding against me, causing me to moan out. “That feel good?”

  I moan again. “Yes, so good.”

  He continues grinding for another minute until he stops.

  I look at him, him smirking at me. “Why did you stop?” I pout.

  “Because we can’t finish. That’s what you did to me.” He gets out of bed and I sit up crossing my arms.

  All last night it had been one huge foreplay, and neither of us had had any sort of release. I know men can get blue balls, but can girls get it? It should be called blue clit or something. “You are so mean.” I stick my tongue out at him.

  He crawls along my bed, kissing my lips softly, my anger slipping away.

  How does he do that?

  “I'm going to go and quickly get ready.” He stands back up.

  I stand up, walking to where he is. “Do you need to get ready?” I don’t want him to go.

  “I need to shower and change my clothes. I think people will notice if I show up at school with yesterday’s clothes on.” He pulls me into him.

  “They probably won't notice.”

  “I think they will,” he chuckles. “I won't be long. You go get ready and by the time you are done, I should be too.”

  I nod sullenly. “Okay.”

  He kisses my nose. “Walk me to the door.” We hold hands until we get to my door. “I won't be long.” He kisses me again and walks backward until he is gone.

  I lean against my doorframe, missing his presence already, before heading to my shower. I make sure the water is scorching hot, and I scrub myself extra clean, even using my expensive lotions that I only use on special occasions, wanting to smell extra good just for him.

  Wrapping a towel around myself, I head to my closest and ponder on what to wear. I decide on a short black skirt with a tight black blouse.

  Blow-drying my hair, I put on my natural makeup, and once I am dressed, I put on my knee-length suede boots before looking in the mirror and smiling at how good I look. I look at my phone and I smile when I see a message from Trent saying he misses me and won't be much longer.

  Heading to the kitchen, I make two takeaway cups of coffee and I'm walking to the couch when there is a knock on my door. I open it to see a freshly-showered Trent, his hair watered back, his black jeans sitting nicely on his hips and a white tee hugging his toned body.

  I am sure I’ve forgotten how to talk.

  I notice his eyes trailing over my body. “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “Don’t you think I look okay?” I look down my body.

  He walks in wrapping his arms around me. “You look so good; I know men are going to be ogling you all day.”

  “Women are going to be drooling over you,” I say back.

  His lips are on me again. This time though, it's hard and fast. He's kissing me with such intensity, and I kiss him just as badly. Pinning me against my door, he lifts me, my skirt riding around my waist.

  “I think I like you in a skirt after all,” he says before kissing me again then letting me back down. “Least men are going to see my mark.”

  I look at him confused and he smirks at me, pointing to my breast. I walk away from him going to my mirror and I see a huge hickey. Why haven’t I seen that before? “You gave me a hickey?”

  “I guess I was in the moment.” He shrugs but I see that he's not sorry.

  “You did it on purpose.”

  “We are going to be late.” He takes hold of my hand and leads me out of the house, locking up for me and holding my laptop bag.

  “I will get you back,” I say when we are walking down the stairs.

  “Oh really?” I hear his playful voice taunting me.

  “Yes really. Like I told you, I don’t like being controlled. This is showing your controling nature.”

  Before I get in the car, he stops me, making me face him. “Is it wrong of me that I want the assholes on campus to see that you are taken?”

  “I don’t seem to remember you asking me to be yours.” I cross my arms.

  “Are you being serious?” His hands go to the back of his neck.

  “Yes. You have said you like me, but you have never said, ‘Winter, be mine’, or ‘would you like to be my girl
friend’.” I know I sound like a bitch right now, but I don’t want him to see me as a prize or a possession.

  “Is that what this is about? You want me to ask you to be my girlfriend?”

  “No, it doesn't matter.” I get in my seat and wait for him to get in the passenger side.

  All the way back to campus, the ride is quiet. Neither of us says a word and I start to feel that last night and this morning is now a distant memory. Maybe I did take it the wrong way. I went a little crazy over something so silly, but it’s something that I need to stay strong about; I need to uphold those principles.

  I just need to.

  As I park up, he gets out of the car and I can feel my eyes start to prickle with tears.

  I’ve messed up.

  Getting out of the car, I lean against my side of the door taking in deep breathes. I will myself to not cry. I can’t even remember the last time I cried, and right now I just want to let out a huge sob.

  Candice walks towards me, and picks up her pace when she notices how upset I must look. “Are you okay? Did that fucker hurt you?” she says angrily.

  “I think I fucked up.” I hug myself.

  “What happened?”

  I tell her about last night and this morning and about him getting out of the car without saying a single word to me. “I shouldn’t have mentioned the girlfriend thing. I scared him off. I should have waited before bringing up that stupid word.”

  “He's the one giving you mixed signals, saying he wants to take it slow and get to know you. It sounded like he wanted to be in a relationship with you. To me it sounds like he was playing games with you.” She pulls me into a hug.

  “I was basically throwing myself at him, and I’m sure I was being all clingy this morning, not wanting him to go and get showered.” I hit my head with my palm.

  I wouldn’t let him go shower. How pathetic am I?

  “You haven't liked a guy in so long, so of course you are going to want all his attention and be around him. Come on let's not think about him again.”

  I nod, and we start walking towards campus but stop when we see a crowd has pulled up on the far end of the quad. Candice and I look to one another and start heading that way. We notice Patrick and he waves, coming on over.

  “What’s going on?” Candice asks him.

  “This guy is making a declaration.” He shakes his head.

  When we get closer, my mouth drops when I see Trent standing on the school statue. When he notices me, he smiles at me, giving me a wink. “Can I get everyone's attention?” Everyone whispers, girls looking up at him with googly eyes. “I want to ask Winter Daniels to be my girl.”

  Oh, my God. What is he doing?

  “Winter, do you know this guy?” Patrick asks me, but I can’t say a word.

  “Winter, be mine, please.” Trent pleads with me. I look up at his eyes and see how vulnerable he looks. I look around. Girls are glaring at me, and guys have their mouths hanging open.

  “Of course, I'll be yours,” I shout at him. He holds out his hand for me to take and helps me up, kissing me. I pull back wrapping my arm around his neck. “You are crazy.” I laugh. “I thought I ruined it.”

  “I wanted the whole school to know that I am yours and you are mine. I know this is fast, that we don’t know each other, but right here,” he takes my hand pressing it against his heart, “I know you are it for me.”

  If I could swoon right now I would. “So, you're my boyfriend?”

  He nods. “You're my girlfriend. My first.”

  “I like that I'm your first.” I wink at him causing him to laugh and pull me into him for another kiss. The crowd cheer and whistle.

  I look down to my friends. Patrick looks hurt while Candice doesn't look impressed. I guess in the last ten minutes I didn’t show Trent in a very good light, but I'm sure she will get to like him.

  He jumps down and helps me down, and once my feet are on the ground he spins me around making me laugh. “This is it now. The day our lives change for the better.”

  “Yeah, it is.” I beam up at him.

  “Winter, we have to head to class,” Patrick numbly says.

  “I’ll see you soon. Text me.” I kiss Trent quickly and step back.

  Trent

  I watch as she walks away with her friend Patrick. I have noticed the sullen look he has on his face and I kind of feel a little bad for him, as I know I would feel hurt if I saw her with another guy. I turn around ready to head to my class when I notice Candice watching me.

  “I hope you're not going to mess my girl around. She may act tough, but she won't be able to handle it if you are just after a quick fuck with her. It would break her.” She says this as she looks at my arms and stomach before her eyes are on me again.

  I would believe she was concerned for her friend if she wasn’t checking me out at the same time.

  “I don’t plan on hurting her,” I say, walking inside the building with her fast on my heels.

  “So what made you want to be with her anyway? She’s the girl next door—a good girl. She isn’t that experienced, if that’s what you're after.”

  I look at her and her eyes look back at me, hungrily. “I like that she isn’t experienced. It shows that she doesn't let every guy get in between her legs like a cheap whore,” I say with a little venom in my voice. I know what this girl is after and it's disgusting that she would try it on with her friend's boyfriend.

  I smile for a moment thinking about me being Winter’s boyfriend.

  “I'm just looking out for my friend.”

  I stop and face her. “No, it looks like you are trying to get close to my dick, and not caring that you would hurt your supposed friend in the meantime. Are you that insecure and jealous of her? Trust me, you begging and batting your eyelashes, it’s a turn-off. Go find someone elses cock to bounce on,” I tell her.

  I start walking again until I am being pushed into an empty classroom. Candice pins her body against mine. “Don’t you fucking dare ever talk to me like that again. Winter loves me, I mean really loves me. I know she has a crush on me. I am her only friend at this school, well apart from that loser Patrick. She will always pick me. Make me mad and I will make things very hard for you.” Her hands press against my chest and move to my abs.

  “You are one cruel bitch,” I growl at her.

  She shrugs. “I like having power, and you are taking that power, so you’d better start being nice to me or I will have to tell dear old Winter that you have been hitting on me.”

  I have never hit a woman, but right now, this girl needs a good slap. “She wouldn’t believe that.” Although deep down I know she would.

  “Want to put that to the test? She knows every guy on campus wants me.”

  Yeah for an easy fuck, I think to myself. “Every guy on campus wants her, and that’s what you hate. They see you as a plaything; they see her as something so much more.”

  I feel her hand gliding down to my erection, rubbing up and down, and my traitorous dick starts to respond. She smiles at me triumphantly. “Men only think with their cocks. Why do you think so many men cheat? They may love and care for their partners, but it's their dicks that’re in charge. I see you are no different.” She continues rubbing until I push her away.

  “Don’t you dare touch me again.”

  She walks slowly towards me. “I think we both know it will eventually be you touching me, feeling me, pleasing me. I will look forward to when that happens.” She winks at me before leaving me alone in the classroom.

  I grab the closest thing to me which is a chair and throw it across the room. She is a sick fuck, but part of me was turned on by it, which makes me feel sick even more. I don’t even want her; she makes my skin crawl, but my cock has other ideas.

  Leaving the classroom, I head to class and I walk in the door with a minute to spare. I take a seat in the far back and groan when I see Joshua sit down next to me.

  “Hey, man. Heard you and Winter are an item now.” He shak
es his head at me. “Good luck with that one; she lives up to her name.” He pretends to shiver and I ignore him. “It's up to you, but I wouldn’t waste my energy on her: she's harder to get into than Fort Knox.” He chuckles at his own joke.

  “Stop talking about Winter like that,” I say angrily. “Just because she won't touch you, don’t take out your jealousy on me.” After Candice, I'm not in the mood for another fucker to throw their shit on me.

  “Hey man, I'm trying to do you a favor. If you want to get a constant case of blue balls, be my guest,” he huffs sitting back in his seat.

  “Trust me. So far, I'm nowhere near that.” I wink at him and I notice his jaw tick. I smirk sitting in my seat. Least that shut him up.

  I can’t wait until I'm with Winter again. That girl is in my head, and right now I just want to hold her.

  Acknowledgments

  I hate this part as I never know what to say. I have been writing for almost three years and this makes book number fifteen and it still feels unreal. Knowing that you give my book a chance. Each passing day I am so thankful to everyone that helps support me, to keep my dream going.

  To my precious, amazing little boy Jake, my number one fan. He is my world and I want to show him that dreams can come true if you are willing to work hard for what you want.

  Daniel Martin, even though we have parted ways, you still mean the world to me. You were my first real fan, giving me that big push to write my first ever book and I thank you for doing so.

  Elmarie Pieterse, my brain twin, my book whore, my other side of the same coin, my sister from another mister. We have become so close in the last couple of years. I really don’t know what I would do without you. I need someone to yell at my leading men lol

  Hannah Clarke, you are my mini-me, my younger double. Thank you for staying by my side throughout this journey.

  Lauren Haley, thank you for being there for me. Hearing me go on and on about the storylines

  Bernie Ivison, thank you for supporting me and help me celebrate my releases in our own special way.

  To my betas, you guys rock. I annoy you, I pester you, wondering if you like my book or not and I will admit … that’s not going to change any time soon. You are stuck with me and my annoyance.