Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1)

by Allie Everhart

  "You can date. You just can't date his cousin, or any other member of his family."

  "It's not like I did this on purpose. It just happened. And Nate's the one who kept pushing me to spend time with Brad. That whole first week he was here, Nate invited me out with them so I could get to know Brad."

  "Get to know him, not date him."

  "Yes, but the more time we spent together, the closer we got."

  "That's just because he reminds you of Nate."

  "He does, but only in the good ways. He reminds me of the Nate I used to know. The one who was fun and didn't constantly judge me and tell me what to do. Nate's changed. He's not the guy he was a few years ago. Honestly, sometimes I don't even want to be around him."

  "So that's all this is. You miss the old Nate, so you're replacing him with Brad."

  "No, that's not it at all. Brad isn't Nate. They have some similarities, but Brad is also really different. I'm not explaining it right. There's just something about Brad that makes me...I don't know...light up inside."

  "Light up?" She laughs. "Like get all hot and bothered?"

  "That's part of it, but not what I meant. It's like when he's around me, I feel like someone turned a light on. Like things aren't as dark anymore. I feel hopeful. Happy."

  She stops cutting my hair and looks at me. "You really like this guy, don't you? Like REALLY like him."

  "Yeah."

  She sighs and continues snipping the layers of hair around my face. "So what are you going to do?"

  "Not tell Nate."

  "I mean after the summer. Brad's leaving, right?"

  "Yeah, so I really shouldn't be getting involved with him. But then I thought I may never feel this way again, so what the hell? Why not be happy for a few months? What's the downside?"

  "You fall in love. And then he leaves."

  "I won't fall in love. He's only here for a few months."

  "My parents fell in love in two weeks." She goes behind me to trim the back of my hair. "They've been married for thirty years."

  "Two weeks? That's crazy," I say, and yet I wouldn't say it's impossible. Not after meeting Brad. I never thought I'd feel this strongly for a guy after only knowing him a few weeks.

  "So how's Wayne?" I ask, switching topics.

  "Married," she says, casually.

  "What? Wayne is married? And he never told you?"

  "He said he was divorced." Her voice cracks.

  "April, I'm sorry." I get up and give her a hug. "When did you find out?"

  "Yesterday." She grabs her purse from the table and pulls out a tissue. "His wife came into the salon."

  "How'd you know it was her?"

  "She showed Annie a photo. She said she was getting her hair done for their anniversary, which was last night."

  Annie is the stylist that works next to April. She must've looked over and saw the photo.

  "I'm so sorry."

  She sniffles. "It's okay. It wasn't going that great anyway. You were right. He's really old. I don't know what I was thinking."

  "Have you talked to him since you found out?"

  "No, but he texted me this morning. I told him it's over. I haven't heard from him since."

  "I'm really sorry."

  "I'll find someone better. Maybe another hot, future doctor will show up in town."

  I sit back in my chair as she picks up her scissors.

  "At least one of us is happy," she says.

  "You won't tell Nate, right?"

  "Riley, you know I wouldn't do that. I just worry what'll happen when he leaves."

  "Nate or Brad?"

  "Brad. If you're this into him now, how will you feel in a few months?"

  "I won't let it get that serious. And Brad won't either. He wasn't even going to date anyone this summer, knowing he won't be sticking around."

  "Maybe you guys should just end this now. Just be friends. You'll save yourself from getting hurt and won't have to hide anything from Nate."

  "I'm not ready to end it. I want something good in my life, even if it only lasts a few months."

  There's a knock on the door. "Riley, it's me."

  "That's Brad. I didn't think he'd be here this early."

  "I'll get it." April races to the door and opens it.

  "Hey," I hear Brad say. "April, right?"

  "You remembered," she says, sounding impressed. "Come on in. I'm just finishing up with Riley."

  "You're early," I say, getting up to give him a hug.

  He glances at April.

  "She knows," I say. "She promised not to tell."

  "In that case..." He leans down and kisses me, a lingering kiss that makes April clear her throat.

  I back away. "April just broke up with her boyfriend."

  He looks over at her. "Sorry to hear that."

  "He was a jerk. I just liked that he took me out." She returns to the table to get her scissors. "I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. Riley, we can do this later."

  "You can't give me half a haircut." I laugh as I sit back in the chair. "Finish up."

  Brad takes a seat next to me. He has on jeans and a tight gray polo that shows off his muscles. His dark hair is damp and he hasn't shaved.

  "Hey! Over here," April says, moving my head straight. "I know he's hot, but stop looking at him."

  Brad's swiping through his phone so didn't notice me staring.

  "April!" I whisper.

  "What? Like he doesn't know you're over here imagining him naked?"

  I hear him chuckling. "Naked, huh? Is that what you do when you look at me? Imagine me naked?"

  "No!" I insist, although I have imagined him naked a few times.

  He's still staring at his phone, but smiling.

  "I would," April says. "He has a great body."

  "Thanks," Brad says to her.

  "You're welcome." She smiles at him.

  "Would you like me to leave you two alone?" I joke.

  She laughs. "He's all yours. You two actually make a cute couple. You'd have darling kids."

  I almost choke as I swallow. "Kids? We've been on one date."

  She leans down to trim my ends. "You want kids, Brad?"

  "April!" I scold.

  "Not for a really long time," he says. "With med school and a residency, I won't have time for kids in my twenties. If I have them, it won't be until my thirties."

  "Enough with the questions," I tell her.

  She's smiling, knowing she's embarrassing me.

  "Okay, you're all set." She stands back. "Want me to blow it out?"

  "No, I'll do it." I stand up and blot my hair with the towel. "Thanks for coming over."

  "Anytime." She walks to the door. "Good seeing you again, Brad."

  "Yeah, you too."

  Brad and I watch as she leaves. As soon as the door shuts, we race into each other's arms, our lips colliding. His hands roam over my body as we kiss while I melt into his arms, desperate to get closer.

  He lifts me up on the kitchen table and I lean back as he kisses down the side of my neck, then down to my breasts.

  "Brad," I mutter, leaning back even more.

  "Tell me to stop," he urges.

  "I can't." I scoot closer to him, which causes the long t-shirt I'm wearing to slide up my legs, exposing my lacy pink panties.

  "Shit, Riley," he groans.

  His strong hands grip my bare thighs as his lips kiss their way down the deep dip in my shirt that exposes my breasts. My head falls back and moans seep out of me as he slowly pushes my legs apart.

  We should move this into the bedroom, but everything feels so perfect I don't want to stop.

  "Riley?" I hear my mom's voice, followed by the squeaking of the screen door.

  "Shit!" I bolt up, hitting Brad in the head. "Sorry!"

  He moves aside, rubbing his head as I jump off the table.

  "Well, well, what's going on here?" my mom asks, a big grin on her face. She looks like she just woke up. Her hair's a mess, her clothes are wri
nkled, and she has lipstick on her teeth.

  "Mom, you remember Brad."

  She saunters over to him. "He's hard to forget." She looks at me beside him, noticing I'm only wearing a t-shirt. "Did I walk in before or after?"

  "Nothing happened, Mom." I yank on my t-shirt, which suddenly seems much shorter than I remember. Ironically, it's one of Nate's old shirts. He gave it to me last summer at the pool on a day when I forgot to bring one. And now I'm wearing it while making out with his cousin.

  "I just got here," Brad says.

  "April was cutting my hair. She just left."

  My mom laughs as she tosses her purse on the table. "You sound just like your mama. Making up stories after getting caught. I saw you two all hot and heavy before I walked in."

  I glance at Brad.

  "So when did you two start dating?" she asks, going over to get a glass from the dish rack.

  "We're not dating," I say.

  "Just having fun, huh?" She fills the glass with water. "Nothing wrong with that."

  "Mom, it's not like that."

  "Then what exactly is it?" She gulps down her water, a sign she's hungover. She thinks the water will cure the hangover, and when it doesn't, she goes back to hard liquor.

  "We're dating," Brad says, coming up beside me. "We just don't want Nate finding out. We'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him."

  My mom shrugs. "I don't care. I never even see the kid."

  I race up to her. "But if you do, you won't tell him, right?"

  She sighs. "Riley, your boy problems are the least of my concerns right now." She finishes her water.

  "Why? What happened?" I want to ask her about the unpaid bills, but that'll just make her angry and then she won't tell me what's bothering her.

  "You'll find out soon enough." She walks off, heading to her room.

  "Mom, wait!" I follow her. "What happened?"

  She turns around. "Renee's selling the salon. Which means you and I will be out of a job soon."

  "That's just a rumor. Renee's not selling the salon. People have been saying that since her mom retired, but it's not true."

  "Then how do you explain the for sale sign in front of the salon?"

  My shoulders sink. "When? When did it happen?"

  "Yesterday. Dave and I were driving by and there it was, right in front of the door. Renee didn't even bother to tell anyone."

  "Have you talked to her?"

  "No, and I'm not going to. The bitch is selling the place to get rich while the rest of us are left without jobs." She reaches down and yanks off one of her high heels. "April didn't know?"

  "She couldn't have. If she'd known, she would've said something."

  "Well, it don't matter to her anyway. She's young. She'll get to keep her job. It's us old timers they'll kick to the curb."

  "Mom, you're not old and you're one of their best stylists."

  "My clients are old and the new owner's gonna want to change the place up. Make it younger. Attract people your age."

  "That doesn't mean you can't work there."

  She yanks off her other heel. "I'm going to bed." She goes in her room and slams the door.

  "Sorry," I hear Brad say from behind me. I turn and see him standing there. "Come here." He pulls me into his arms.

  "We're going to lose our jobs."

  "You don't know what's going to happen. Neither does your mom."

  "She can't do anything else. She tried waitressing. Cashiering. She got fired every time. This is the only thing she can do."

  "She can still do it, even if the salon closes. She could open her own place."

  "She can't run a business. She can't even pay her bills on time. And what am I going to do for a job? I'm making good money there. No place in town is going to pay me that much."

  "It'll work out. It always does."

  I look up at him. "Maybe for you, but it doesn't for me. That's why I'm still here. Still living in this trailer. Living with my mom. Supporting her and never getting ahead."

  "If you want things to change, they will. This doesn't have to be your life."

  I push away from him. "That's easy for you to say. You're rich. You have a college degree. You come from a family who supports you."

  He lets out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, you don't know me that well. My life's not as great as you think."

  "That's not what Nate said."

  "Because Nate doesn't know. He only knows what he hears from my mom, which isn't much. In fact, just today she—" He stops. "Forget it. You have your own problems. You don't need to hear mine." He takes a breath. "So you want to get out of here? I'll wait on the couch while you change."

  "Brad." I step up to him. "I know things aren't good with your dad, but I've been afraid to ask you about it. It's not that I don't care."

  "I know," he says, looking down.

  "You can tell me. I wouldn't tell Nate."

  He looks up. "Go get dressed. We'll go grab some lunch."

  We go to a sandwich shop and find a table in a quiet corner. I noticed Brad seemed off when he first got to my place, but then he was talking to April and me and seemed back to normal. I thought maybe I was just imagining something was wrong, but it turns out I wasn't.

  "Will you tell me about it?" I ask as we sit down with our sandwiches.

  "Where do I start?" he says, leaning back in his chair. He glances to the side. "It's all just a fucked-up mess I'd rather not talk about."

  I pick up my sandwich, trying to think of a way to get him to open up to me. "My mom almost died."

  "She what?"

  I clear my throat and sit up straighter. "She almost died. More than once."

  He scoots his chair in and leans forward. "When? Like recently?"

  "The first time was when I was five. She drank too much and ended up with alcohol poisoning that almost killed her. Then when I was eight, she got mad when her boyfriend dumped her and drove her car into a telephone pole. It didn't kill her, but she was in the hospital for a week. I had to stay with one of her friends until she was better. Then when I was fourteen, she took a bunch of pills, again because of a guy. I got her to the hospital just in time. So fucked-up mess? I'm familiar with it."

  He nods. "Yeah. Mine's uh, not quite that bad."

  "Go ahead." I bite into my sandwich.

  "Well, you already know about my dad. His gambling addiction?"

  "Yeah. Nate mentioned that."

  "None of us knew. We wondered why he was always out so late, but he told us it was work keeping him at the office. My brother and I thought he was cheating."

  "But he was at the casino?"

  "Most of the time. The rest of the time he was with other women. Turns out the cheating part was true. But my mom doesn't know, so don't tell Nate this, or Kathy."

  "I won't. So is it still going on? The cheating?"

  "I don't know. Even if it's not, I feel like I should tell my mom, but my brother thinks we shouldn't. He says it's between them and we shouldn't get involved. I see his point. I just don't like my mom being cheated on and my dad getting away with it."

  "This is your stepdad, right?"

  "Yeah, but he raised me since I was a little kid so I just call him my dad. My real dad took off, never wanted anything to do with us."

  "Kind of like Nate's dad."

  "Except he still talks to him. Nate's dad was wrong for leaving like he did, but at least he acknowledges that. And he's trying to make it right. He paid for part of Nate's college."

  "He did? Nate never told me that."

  "Oh, maybe I wasn't supposed to say that, although I don't know why that would be a secret. Anyway, when I got back from college a few weeks ago, my parents were fighting nonstop. I had to get out of there. I feel bad leaving my mom like that, but I can't be responsible for her anymore."

  "What do you mean? You're not responsible for her."

  "She um..." He looks away, then down at the table. "She has some addiction issues."

  "What kind of ad
diction?"

  "Pain pills. Sleeping pills. Diet pills. She doesn't think it's a problem because all her rich friends do the same thing, but when she can't get out of bed in the morning, it's a problem."

  "She doesn't work?"

  "No, but she might have to if we find out we're broke. We still don't know how much money is gone. My dad keeps telling her everything's fine, but if that were true, why hasn't he paid the mortgage? He hasn't paid it in months."

  "Sounds like my mom. Says the bills are paid when they're not."

  "Exactly. See why I keep saying we're not that different?"

  "And Nate doesn't know any of this?"

  "Not the stuff about my mom. Or the cheating. And I don't want him knowing. Or Aunt Kathy. Kathy and my mom have always been really competitive, and knowing this would fuel that even more. I really need you to keep this quiet."

  "I will. And hey, I'm sorry all this is going on."

  He shrugs. "It's life. It'll get better. We just have to get through it. Or run the hell away from it like I did. You can do that too, Riley. Just because your mom's life is messed up doesn't mean yours has to be too. I know you want to take care of her, but then who takes care of you?"

  "I do."

  "But you don't. Everything you do is for her. If you weren't watching out for your mom, what would you be doing?"

  "I don't know. I've never thought about it."

  "Then do it now. Where would you be if you weren't taking care of your mom?"

  "I wouldn't be living here. I'd go somewhere warm. Maybe Florida."

  "Live near the beach?" He smiles. "Your dream?"

  "You remembered."

  "A place to live. A family. You didn't ask for much, and you should be able to have it. I just don't think you ever will if you stay here with your mom."

  "If I leave, she could die. I can't let that happen."

  "Riley, you're the one dying if you don't live your life." He looks down, then back up. "You don't think it killed me to leave my mom when her life's falling apart? God only knows how many pills she's taking to get through this. But I can't take care of her. If I do, she'll never get better. She has to figure out how to do it herself. Or my dad has to help her."

  "My mom doesn't have that. She doesn't have a husband, or anyone else, to help her."

  "She has a whole town full of people who know her. Someone here would help her if she really needed it." He slides his hand over to mine. "Riley, I'm not telling you what to do. I just hate seeing you not living your life because you don't think you can. I don't want you looking back years later wondering where the hell the time went and why you're still living in that trailer with your mom."