Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1)

by Allie Everhart

  "Would you at least consider it before saying no?" he asks.

  "Even if I went with you, it wouldn't work. We'd get out there and you'd be gone all the time. You'd be at class or studying. You wouldn't have time for me."

  "I'd still see you. When I was home, you'd be there."

  "You're living in the dorms. I can't live there with you."

  "Then we'll get an apartment."

  "In New York? Are you crazy? Rent costs a fortune there."

  "My parents are paying for it. I'm not. And they don't care where I live."

  "They would if you were living with a girl. A girl they don't approve of. We can't even tell them we're dating. Even if we could, they can't afford an apartment in New York. They're broke."

  "They're not broke. They just have less money than they used to. And if they don't want to pay for it, I'll use the money in my college account. We could make this work. You just need to say yes." He cups my face. "Say you'll move in with me."

  "Brad, we can't do this. We haven't dated that long. We haven't even had—"

  "I know." He scoots closer. "But it's not because I didn't want to. I've wanted to for weeks."

  "You have?"

  "God, yes. Are you kidding me?" He brings my face to his and talks over my mouth. "It's nearly impossible to hold myself back when I'm around you. The things I want to do to you." His lips brush against mine and a shiver runs through me.

  "Like what?" I whisper.

  "I don't want to say it. Even just thinking about it is working me up." His arm goes around my waist and he slides me over until I'm flush against his body. "You see what I mean?"

  I feel him, hard and thick, pressing against me.

  "So, um." My eyes lift to his. "Why haven't we done it?"

  "Because we're never alone. Your mom's always walking in on us. Or her boyfriend does. And we can't be alone at my aunt's house."

  I lean in and kiss him. "We're alone right now."

  "We are." He smiles, then lays me on my back and kisses my neck as he unbuttons my shirt. My chest rises and falls as his fingers brush against my skin, sending tingles down my core. He flicks open the front clasp on my bra and I feel the cool air over my skin as the breeze blows through the back of the SUV.

  I close my eyes and let the sensations I'm feeling take over any thoughts and concerns. Quitting my job. Lying to Nate. Money problems. They're all gone, replaced by all the things Brad's making me feel.

  He lowers my shorts down my legs and I shiver.

  "Cold?" he asks.

  "No," I whisper.

  I shiver again as he slides off my panties. He tosses them aside, then kisses his way up the inside of my leg, my inner thigh, then finally, to the spot that's throbbing with need. He's done this before and learned what I like, so it doesn't take long before I'm at the edge, ready to come.

  "Not yet," I say, stopping him. I love what he's doing but I want more. I want to feel him inside me. Filling me.

  He moves up my body until his lips are on mine. "You're so damn perfect. God, you turn me on."

  I yank at his shirt, trying to get it off.

  "Hold on." He jumps out the back and quickly sheds his clothes as I toss my shirt and bra aside.

  "You sure you're not cold?" he asks, laying over me.

  "Not at all." I pull his face down to mine and kiss him, feeling the length of him between my legs. I tilt my hips up, wanting him inside me. Not wanting to wait another second.

  His cock brushes against my opening, then dips inside, just a little. He's large and I feel it stretching me. He pushes in a little more, and I break from his lips to take a breath.

  "You okay?" he asks.

  "Yeah," I breathe out. "Keep going."

  He pushes all the way in. "Fuck, you feel good."

  I open my eyes and they meet up with his as he slowly pulls out, then thrusts inside me, harder this time. I gasp, then smile as he does it again. And again.

  "I love you," he says between kisses.

  "I love you too," I whisper, my heart filled with joy because I know he means it. He's not just saying it. He really does love me.

  His long deep thrusts continue, gradually getting faster. I feel the pressure building, wanting to explode. I've been wanting this with Brad for so long that I don't want it to end. But it's coming. I'm so close.

  "Oh, God!" I yell, arching back as the waves of pleasure wash over me.

  Brad thrusts faster and harder, his muscles clenching.

  "Fuck," he groans as his own release comes.

  His body relaxes and he takes a breath. He slides out of me and falls back to lay beside me. "Tell me again why we waited so long to do that?"

  I laugh. "Something about us not being alone."

  "We should've come out here a long time ago."

  "It's kind of a long drive."

  "It's worth the drive," he says, breathing heavy. "It's definitely worth the drive."

  As I lie there, I notice something trickling down my inner thigh. I reach down and feel it. "Shit."

  "What?"

  I sit up. "We didn't use anything."

  He bolts up. "Fuck! I totally forgot."

  "Me too."

  "I'm clean," he rushes to say. "I had a physical right before I moved here. I got tested. I was clean."

  "So am I. I mean, I don't have anything. I haven't even been with anyone since—never mind." I look around for a towel.

  "Here." He reaches to the center console and opens it. He pulls out a small towel. "It's clean. I just keep it there in case I spill something."

  "Thanks." I take it from him.

  "You're um...on the pill, right?"

  I nod. "Yeah."

  He breathes a sigh of relief. "So we're good?"

  "Yeah. We're good."

  "Come here." He lays down and waits for me to join him. When I do, he takes me in his arms and kisses my forehead. "I love you."

  "I love you too."

  I wish I could go to New York with him, but my life is here. I can't leave my mom. This town. This is my home. It's all I know.

  But I really want to be with him. I want to be happy, and Brad makes me so happy.

  What if I did it? What if I finally did what makes me happy and left here? Maybe this is my chance. Brad's offering me a way out. Maybe I should take it.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Riley

  "I'll do it," I say to Brad as I burst through the door.

  "Do what?" he asks, giving me a kiss.

  "I'll go to New York with you."

  "Are you serious?" He holds me back, looking at my face. "This isn't a joke, right? You'd actually come with me?"

  "It'll be tough leaving my mom, but you're right. I can't take care of her forever. I want to do this, Brad. For me. For us. It's scary, but I want to do it."

  He brings me into his arms. "We'll make this work. I know you're scared, but we'll make it work. We'll start looking for apartments today if you want."

  "Maybe later. Right now I want to do something else." I kiss him as he reaches behind me and shuts the door.

  "You sure you want to do this here?" he asks as we kiss our way over to the couch.

  "We can't go to my place. My mom's there with Lou." I yank at his shirt.

  "We could go back to the lake." He lifts his shirt up and takes it off.

  "Too far of a drive. I can't wait that long."

  "Me either." He lays me down on the couch.

  It's Saturday morning and we're at Nate's house. Brad and I have never even held hands here. We were too afraid we'd be caught. But Nate went to Dallas yesterday for a job interview and is staying there until Sunday. His mom is spending today with her boyfriend, who Nate still doesn't know about. And Brad's parents, who were supposed to arrive today, decided to arrive tomorrow instead. That leaves us with the house to ourselves.

  "Let's go in my room," Brad says as he kisses my neck.

  "It's too far." I undo his belt. "I want you now." I raise my hips and grin
d them against the thick bulge in his crotch.

  "Damn, Riley," he groans as his eyes rake over my body. I'm wearing a really short skirt, which got even shorter when I lifted my hips. "I want you so fucking bad."

  I smile. "Then take me."

  He leans down to kiss me as his hand goes under my skirt, straight to my panties, stroking me. We haven't done it since we were at the lake. That was a week ago, and the last time we were alone together. We tried to meet before now but couldn't. When Nate got the call about the job interview he insisted Brad help him get ready for it by pretending to interview him. Then Nate's mom asked Brad to help her get the house ready for his parents' visit, leaving no time for us to meet up.

  "So good," I moan as Brad pleasures me with his hand. I reach between us to feel what will soon be inside me. "I want it," I say as I touch him. "I want it now."

  He smiles against my mouth, then kisses me, filling my body with those glorious tingles that spread all the way down to my toes.

  The front door opens and we freeze.

  "What the hell's going on?" a guy yells.

  It's Nate. I can't see him, but it was definitely his voice. Shit!

  Brad's on top of me, his hand still under my skirt. He slowly removes it and turns around, sitting in front of me.

  "Nate. You're back."

  Nate storms over to us. "What the fuck is going on here?"

  "We were just—" I rush to explain but don't know how. Nate knows what was going on. He saw it with his own eyes. The couch faces the door. He saw what we were doing.

  "How long?" he demands, seething with anger.

  I rush to get up. "Nate, calm down. It's not what it—"

  "Not what it looks like?" He huffs. "You really think I'm that stupid? I saw his hand up your skirt. I saw him kissing you. I saw you touching his—" Nate whips around and storms to the kitchen. "How could you do this to me?"

  Brad gets up and walks over to him. "We didn't do anything to you. You did it to yourself. We wanted to tell you, but you made it impossible. You kept saying you didn't want to see Riley with someone else, even though she has every right to. Just because she—"

  "Just shut the fuck up!" he yells at Brad. "I don't want to hear you trying to explain this as if it's okay. I told you over and over that it is NOT okay for you to go out with her, or even LOOK at her that way."

  "You don't get to decide that," Brad says, his anger rising. "I don't have to do what you say and neither does Riley. And for you to think otherwise is fucked up. You can't control her. Or me. We didn't plan for this to happen, but it did. We fell in love."

  "You WHAT?" Nate stares at him in disbelief, then marches over to me. "Are you hearing this?"

  "Yes," I mutter, my eyes going to the floor.

  "Then say something!" Nate comes up in front of me. "Tell me he's crazy! Tell me this was all a mistake! Tell me what I saw just now wasn't what you wanted. You were just confused. Or he took advantage of you. Or—"

  "Nate, stop." My eyes lift to his. "What you saw wasn't a mistake. I didn't want you to know, but...Brad and I have been dating."

  Nate's face crumbles. "Riley, no."

  "I'm sorry, Nate, but it's true."

  "How long?" he says, breathing hard. "When did it start?"

  "Right after he moved here. We went to the brewery that night you were sick and we really hit it off. We knew it would upset you, so we tried to ignore our feelings. But we couldn't."

  Nate whips back to Brad. "You were dating other people. Giada. Kari. So that was all fake?"

  Brad takes a breath. "Giada was real. I thought going out with her would make me stop thinking about Riley, but all it did was make me think about her even more."

  "And Kari?"

  "That was fake. But I told you I didn't want to go out with her. I only did it so you could go out with her friend."

  Nate turns back to me, his eyes red and teary. "I can't believe you'd do this. After everything we've been through. You know how much you hurt me when you said you don't love me. And now you do THIS? Like I haven't been through enough?"

  "I didn't do this to hurt you, Nate. I didn't mean for this to happen. It just did." I swallow, my throat burning as I force back tears. "Brad makes me happy. I know you don't want to hear that, but you should want that, Nate. You should want me to be happy. That's what friends want for each other."

  "I do want that, but I wanted to be the one to make you happy." He wipes his eyes. "It was supposed to be ME. We were supposed to be together, Riley. I was going to find you an apartment in Dallas this weekend. I knew you wouldn't live with me, but I know you want out of this town and I was going to help you. I was going to find you an apartment close to mine. I'd even pay for it."

  "Nate." I reach for his hand.

  He steps back, his teeth gritted. "Don't touch me."

  "Nate, don't be this way. I didn't know about the apartment. It's nice that you did that but—"

  "I didn't. I never looked because I didn't get the job. That's why I came back early. And good thing I did or I never would've known the truth."

  Brad walks over to us. "Nate, why don't you go cool down? We can talk about this later."

  "What's there to talk about? You took my girl. You stole her from me. Behind my back. You lied to me." Nate glares at Brad. "You already have everything you could ever want. Money. A big house. Expensive car. Two parents. Acceptance at a prestigious medical school in New York. But it's still not enough. You could have any girl you want, but you had to take mine." He shoves him. "What the fuck, man?"

  "You want to hit me? Go ahead, but it's not going to change anything. I didn't come here to take Riley from you. I came here to get away from my life, which isn't as perfect as you think it is. If you ever took the time to ask me, you'd know. But you don't ask, because you think you know everything. And you're so wrapped up in your own self-pity that you don't think of anyone else. Like Riley. She's not your girl and never was, but you refuse to accept that. It doesn't matter who she's with, Nate. You'd still be pissed because you don't want her with anyone but you."

  "You lied to me!" he yells, getting in his face. "We're family, and you lied to me!"

  "I would've told you the truth, but Riley didn't want to. She didn't want to hurt you. This whole time she's been worried about you instead of just letting herself be happy. She's been denying herself in order to protect you."

  "Didn't look like she was denying herself today," he scoffs.

  "Nate, I'm sorry," I tell him. "I know it was wrong to lie to you, but I didn't know how to tell you. I thought maybe once you had a girlfriend I could tell you the truth, but even when you had Heather, you still seemed sad. I didn't know what to do."

  "You break up with him," Nate says. "If you knew it was wrong, you should've broken up with him."

  "But it's not wrong. And I didn't want to break up with him. Nate, why can't you just let me be happy?"

  "With HIM?" He points to Brad. "Why, Riley?" His voice cracks. "Why does it have to be him?"

  "Nate." I reach over to hug him.

  "Get away from me!" He shoves me away.

  "Nate, don't be this way."

  "You're a fucking liar, Riley. I thought we were friends, but then you go and betray me."

  "I didn't betray you. I wanted to tell you, but I knew you'd react this way." I take a step closer. "We're still friends, Nate. We'll always be friends."

  He narrows his eyes at me. "Do you love him?"

  I look behind him at Brad. "Yes."

  "Fuck!" Nate storms back to the kitchen and slams his fist on the counter. "I can't fucking believe this!"

  "Nate, just calm down," I say.

  He points to the door. "Get out! Get out of my house and don't come back. I never want to see you again."

  "Nate, you don't mean that."

  "You're not my friend anymore, Riley. I'm not even sure you ever were." He glances at Brad. "As for him, he'll drop you when the summer ends. He doesn't love you. He's just using you." />
  "Hey!" Brad barks in his deep voice as he rushes over to Nate. "Shut your mouth right now or I swear I'll punch you."

  "Go ahead. It'd hurt less than the kind of hurt I'm feeling right now."

  "Because it's all about you, right Nate? It's always about you. You never think of anyone else. You don't think Riley's hurting right now? Seeing you react this way? Hearing you say those things to her? Riley didn't intentionally hurt you, but you're going out of your way to hurt her."

  Nate looks at me. "She deserves it. She deserves to feel pain after what she did to me."

  I'm crying now, tears spilling down my cheeks. I hate hearing Nate talk to me this way. Seeing him look at me like I'm a horrible person.

  "I'm sorry, Nate." I turn and run out the door.

  "Riley, wait!" Brad follows me to the driveway.

  "Brad, don't." I sniffle and wipe my face. "I want to be alone."

  He comes in front of me and hugs me. "I'm sorry he said that stuff. I've never seen him act that way."

  "It's because I hurt him. I hurt him so bad. I hurt my best friend."

  "He's not your best friend if he reacts that way when you tell him you're happy."

  I pull away from Brad. "I don't want to talk about this."

  "Why don't we go get something to eat? It's almost lunch time. We could get one of those pizzas you like. The kind with the pineapple?"

  I shake my head. "That would just remind me of Nate."

  "Then we'll get something else." He takes my hand. "Let's go."

  "No." I take my my hand back. "Brad, I'm sorry but I can't be with you right now. I just want to go home." I walk to my truck.

  "We're still okay, right?" I hear him say.

  I nod. "Yeah."

  I get in my truck and drive off, not sure if what I told him is true. I said we're okay, but I don't know if we are. I just lost my best friend. Someone I've been friends with for years. I lost him because of a guy I've only known a few months.

  What if Brad and I don't make it to the end of the summer? Or if we do, what if we move to New York and then break up? I don't fit in Brad's world and never will, so there's a good chance we won't last.