Keeping Him

by Kennedy Fox

  After rinsing my hair in the shower, I turn off the water and reach for my towel. Trent and I are going on a date night. He was recently hired by a large rancher in the town over and wanted to celebrate, so we’re going out for a fancy steak dinner in San Angelo as soon as he gets home.

  Just as I finish drying off, I hear my cell phone ring and hurry to the bedroom where I left it. Once I reach it, I see it’s my mother. She’s been enjoying the wedding planning process, but considering there’s so much to do in such a short amount of time, I ended up hiring Jessica to help.

  “So, we set up the rental for the tent for the second weekend in October, if that’s firm.”

  I smile. “Yes, Mama. That’s the date we’re planning on. It’s going to be here so soon.”

  She’s giddy with all this, and it makes me so damn excited. “I spoke with Rose yesterday, and she said she could round up all the boys to help set up the tent so we wouldn’t have to pay to get it done. Apparently, they’ve had lots of practice with all the Bishop weddin’s they’ve been having.”

  “That sounds great, Mama.” I set my phone down and put her on speaker as I get dressed.

  “All we really have left is to pick out the flowers and order them, decide on the food so we can let the caterers know, and finalize your last dress fitting. Oh, before I forget, I spoke with Tracy, the lady who has that string quartet at church, and she said they need a deposit to schedule your date. Since I know how adamant Trent was about paying for them, I’ll just need to get a check from you. I’m supposed to see her tomorrow if you can drop it off tonight,” she says.

  “Oh right, hold on one second,” I tell her, grabbing my phone so I can send a text to Trent.

  Kiera: Hey babe. Mama needs a check to book the orchestra. Do you have any extras? I think I used the last one for the chair rental deposit.

  Trent: Yep. In my desk, top drawer. Should be a checkbook right on top. Almost done here. I’ll see you in thirty minutes. Love you.

  Kiera: Thank you! Love you too.

  I smile, then go back to my phone call. “Yeah, Mama. I can bring you one in the morning before I feed the horses if that’s okay. Trent and I are going out for dinner tonight.”

  “Sure, sweetie. That’ll be fine. Just put it in the mailbox. I know you’ll be at the ranch early or if you wanna drink coffee with your dad in the morning.”

  “I just might,” I say.

  “Well, I’m gettin’ another call, Kiera. I’ll see you first thing tomorrow. Love you.”

  “Love you, too, Mama.”

  I end the call, grab my wet towels and throw them in the hamper, then go into Trent’s office. It’s tidy inside, and he usually spends a few hours in the afternoon catching up with paperwork once he’s back home.

  Equestrian books line the walls along with different award-winning horses he’s owned over the years. I sit in the big executive chair and slide the drawer out. Right on top just as he said is the checkbook. I open it and see both of our names on top and know it will eventually say Trent and Kiera Laken. I rip out a check before placing it back. As I’m about to close the drawer, I catch a glimpse of an envelope with another bank name on it, one that isn’t familiar. I sit there for a moment, but then curiosity gets the best of me, and I open it.

  Studying the statement, I don’t recognize any of the information except his name at the top. Deposits are made monthly, and then on the first of each month, a direct withdrawal of a thousand dollars gets taken out. My heart races as I look in the drawer and find a stack of these statements, all with the same transactions, dating all the way back to four years ago. Immediately, my mind goes to the worst possible place. Who is he paying this money to, and why does he feel he needs to hide this from me? I think back to the conversation I overheard earlier this week, and every terrible scenario fills my mind. Is he cheating on me? Is he addicted to drugs? Is he living a double life?

  With shaky hands, I put the envelope and statements back where I found them, then put the checkbook on top of it all. I place the check on the kitchen counter and go to the bathroom.

  I’m in complete shock and don’t know what to think. This month marks a year we’ve lived together, and it’s frightening to know there are still things I don’t know about him. I halfway doubt everything, our relationship and the foundation of trust it was built on, and I know deep down something isn’t right. He’s hiding something.

  I don’t know what to say or how to start the conversation, so when Trent comes home, I don’t say anything at all. I pretend as if everything is fine because I’m afraid I’d sound accusatory if I bring it up now before I have time to really process it.

  As always, he pulls me into his arms and tells me how beautiful I look before he plants a kiss on my lips.

  “I’m so hungry, but I need a shower,” he says with a smile before walking to the bathroom. “I’ll be quick.”

  “You better!” I call out, plopping down on the couch and allowing my mind to wander. I text Emily, giving her the details of what I found.

  Emily: I’m going to stay neutral on this, but maybe you should bring it up?

  Kiera: I can’t tonight, not right now, but I’m going to have to before the wedding.

  Emily: All I have to say is he better tell the truth. We’re four months away from a wedding. If he’s seeing someone else, you kinda need to know now.

  I sigh, because I know she’s right.

  Kiera: I don’t think he’s cheating.

  Emily: For his sake, I hope he’s not. There are too many Bishops that would kick his ass and go all big brother on him.

  Her words make me smile.

  Emily: Not to mention me bitching that ass out too.

  Kiera: And we all know how fierce you can be when it comes to your bestie.

  I can imagine her smiling and laughing. When I hear the water stop running, I tell her I have to go.

  Emily: Please keep me updated.

  Kiera: You’ll be the first to know once I find out.

  Trent walks into the living room dressed in a button-up shirt and nice slacks. His hair is parted to the side, and he looks really handsome. We head outside and get into the truck, and on the drive to the restaurant, I try to push the thoughts away, but they continue to haunt me. All I know is, I will get to the bottom of this, especially if I plan on spending the rest of my life with this man.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jackson

  After my lunch break, I head back to the barn for a few riding lessons John scheduled. I’m happy the weather is nice because this morning the clouds looked gray and angry. Summer storms can happen at the drop of a hat in July and can be so unpredictable. Considering my students today have zero riding experience, we’re going to start from the very beginning.

  I look over the waiver and study their information. Three students, ranging from twelve to sixty-five years old. All beginners. No health issues. It should be an interesting day, I sarcastically think, but then again, I love introducing people to the saddle for the first time.

  I grab a few helmets from the tack room, along with saddles, then round up the horses who are gentle enough for infants to ride. After the horses are brushed and ready, I walk back to the B&B where they’re all waiting.

  “Howdy, y’all.” I greet them with a smile. It’s important to be able to read them, and I can tell they’re nervous, except for the kid, who seems to be more excited than anything.

  “Today, we’re going to learn how to ride. We’ll start with the basics, then we’re going to ride a short trail around the ranch. It’s going to be a fun day, but remember safety is always first. If at any point, you don’t want to ride anymore, just let me know, and we’ll stop. But the goal is for you to feel confident in the saddle.” I study their expressions, then lead them out to the barn. I give a little history lesson about the ranch, how many acres we have, and how many generations it’s been in the Bishop family. We walk inside the barn where the horses are saddled and ready to go, all tied to meta
l rings. I turn to face them, and watch as their eyes light up.

  “Okay, so first we’re going to learn the basics of the saddle.” I explain the horn, stirrups, and the importance of having the cinch tight enough on the horse, then allow them to ask questions.

  “So what happens if, when we’re on the trail, the horse just runs away with me?” Janelle, an older woman, asks.

  “Trust me when I say that won’t happen. Since you’re all beginners, we’re using the friendliest horses on the ranch. Nothing spooks them. They’re gentle enough a two-year-old could ride without being led.“

  Her shoulders relax.

  “When can we start riding?” Matthew asks. He’s twelve and excited to get going. I remember being his age and completely enthralled with riding. It makes me recognize how lucky I’ve been to be able to do this almost every day of my life.

  “How about we practice getting on and off first?” I grin.

  He claps his hands, and I go over to where the helmets are and hand them out based on the sizes I think they are. After their helmets are secure, I lead Yancy, one of the tamest horses we have, outside to the open space. I keep my grip on the lead rope as I demonstrate how to pull themselves up using the horn and stirrup, then how to dismount. After I do it once more, I have each one of them try it a couple of times. I lead each person around the corral, letting them get a feel of being in a saddle on a moving animal.

  “Good job, y’all. You’ll be naturals by the time the lesson is over.” I wink, trying to build their confidence.

  Soon, I’m explaining how to use the reins and how to guide the horse, left and right, and how to stop. Once they all have a grasp of the concept, I lead each horse that will be ridden today out to the posts outside the barn and tie the lead ropes around metal hooks. I tell everyone to practice getting on and off their horse for about five minutes while I explain the trail.

  “It’s short, only two miles long, and will take us around an hour. The horses have taken it so many times, I’m pretty sure they could walk it in their sleep. If any of you would prefer not to go, now’s the time to speak up. There are no jumps or climbs, just a flat trail with beautiful views.”

  I look at each of them, and they all nod with smiles on their faces. I’ve never had a person tell me no when it comes to riding. I like to make sure everyone is comfortable and work with those who are struggling. The hardest part for most new riders is getting on. I climb up and sit in my saddle and turn toward everyone, waving them on to follow.

  We stop at the random points I’ve laid out on the trail, and I discuss different plants, birds, and animals that roam the ranch. There’s a lookout on the trail with a perfect view of the valley, and one can see for miles. No issues happen on the ride, and by the time we make it back, they’re all asking me when they can sign up again.

  “Probably can fit you into tomorrow’s lesson. Might need to check back with my brother at the B&B and see.”

  “The one who looks just like you?” the little boy asks.

  “Yeah, that’s the one,” I tell him, patting him on his back. “Y’all take care. I’ll see you soon,” I say, giving them handshakes and high fives.

  After the lessons, I take the saddles off the horses, then brush them all down. The rest of my afternoon is clear, other than Kiera dropping off a horse, so I plan to clean the stalls and check back in with John to get the rest of my schedule for the week. Just as I’m walking through the barn, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I unlock it, and as soon as I see Kiera’s name flash across the screen, a smile fills my face.

  Kiera: I’m not gonna be able to make it out today. Got caught up in training. I can drop Chief off tomorrow if that’s okay.

  I glance at her message and read it again. My heart sinks because I was looking forward to seeing her this afternoon. Instead of cleaning stalls, I decide if she won’t come to me, then I’ll go to her. It’s been a while since I’ve been over there anyway.

  Jackson: I’ll come pick him up if that works better for you.

  Kiera: Yeah, sure. That’d be fine. See ya soon.

  I head back to the house and change into some clean pants and a button-up shirt. I spray on some cologne, run my fingers through my messy hair, then grab my keys. I walk across the pasture and down the path that leads to the B&B. Once inside the B&B, I find John chatting with some guests and wait until he’s done. A younger woman looks back and forth between the two of us and smiles with dreamy eyes. It’s a common reaction.

  “Howdy, ma’am.” I tilt my hat at her, and her cheeks go pink.

  John shakes his head, then narrows his attention to me. “Can I help you?”

  “I’m heading over to the Youngs’. Gonna go pick up Chief,” I tell him, just in case he plans something last minute for me.

  “No problem.” He gives me a nod and a smile, probably because I’m going to see Kiera, but I ignore him. I walk out of the back door of the B&B, knowing I just passed up the perfect opportunity to give him shit in front of guests. The thought makes me laugh because I can imagine how worked up he would’ve gotten if I started flirting with the woman who was giving me googly eyes.

  After I say my goodbyes, I go to my truck, back it up to the horse trailer, and latch it down on the hitch. Considering Kiera lives maybe ten minutes away, it feels like I fly there. The thought of her completely takes over, and then I think of Trent, and I’m instantly in a bad mood. Ever since they got engaged, things have been different between us. There’s been a shift, and I fucking hate it.

  As soon as I pull onto the Young ranch, a smile touches my lips. I haven’t been out here in a while, but it brings back tons of memories as soon as I cross under the wrought-iron gate with the Lazy Y logo. While driving down the gravel road, it doesn’t take long before I see Kiera on the saddle, her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, running a horse around barrels. I park, get out of the truck, and lean against the wooden fence, watching her. The woman has zero fear and takes the barrels at such a high speed that it looks as if the horse is sliding into home base. Once she’s completed her run, she waves at me and rides over, smiling.

  Damn. The afternoon sun beams down on her skin, and I can’t help but think how absolutely stunning she is.

  “Hey, you.” Kiera looks me from head to toe with a smile, and I notice.

  I lift an eyebrow and watch as she chews on the corner of her lip. I don’t give a shit who she’s marrying. I know she still thinks about me, about what could've been, especially when she looks at me the way she is right now.

  “New horse?” I ask, breaking the building tension. I stand on the bottom board of the wooden fence and reach over to pet the chocolate-colored quarter horse.

  “Nah, one I’m training for Mrs. Johnson’s daughter. They’re gonna be travelin’ around in the next few months barrel racing and want to take several horses. This is Hershey. He’s a sweetheart.”

  I search Kiera’s face, knowing she always wanted to travel and race but gave up the dream when she went to college. We haven’t talked about it in years. “You know, it’s not too late.”

  She laughs it off as the horse digs his hoof in the dirt, kicking up dust. “It kinda is.”

  “Hell no. If that’s still your dream, you should go for it. You’re good at what you do. How fast is your run?” I ask, knowing she’s one of the best. She can have a new horse trained in a few months, and many of them have beat records.

  “I’ve gotten him down to sixteen seconds, but I know we can do better. We’re right there. In a few weeks, we’ll be at fourteen with no issues.” She leans over and runs her hand over his coat.

  “Seeing is believing,” I playfully tease, knowing damn well she will.

  “I know I can, and when I do, I’m handing him over to her. This boy is gonna win her lots of money and possibly a barrel racing title, too.”

  I give her a smirk, and she acts like she’s immune, but I know better. “You should go again. But this time, let go of all the stress you’re holding because
it’s literally holding you back.”

  “I’m not under any stress, Jackson.” She tries to lie, but I see right through her.

  I tilt my head. “Really? You’re wound up so damn tight right now. I can see it in your shoulders.”

  She rolls her eyes at me.

  “Let me ride him then,” I tell her, climbing up over the fence. “Let me see how fast he can go.”

  Her eyes light up, and she’s smiling at me. When we were teenagers, I taught Kiera how to compete and train horses to race. It was a time when we bonded the most. I know if she would’ve kept it up, she could’ve been one of the youngest women in Texas to win a championship title.

  “Seriously?” she asks.

  I nod, and she lifts her leg over the saddle and drops down right next to me. She slightly loses her balance and falls against my chest. I grab her tight, holding on to her. She tilts her head up, looking into my eyes as if she’s sending me a silent plea. I smile at how breathtaking she looks and hear her breath hitch.

  “Careful,” I say softly as my heart races. I know this is my moment. I could easily lean in and kiss her,—right here, right now—because she’s so close. I can smell the sweetness of her skin mixed with the sweat of the day, and I just want to hold her as close as I can and never let go. But the reality is, I’m too chickenshit to even go there—especially now. Instead, I take my hands from her arms, and she steps aside. My heart is at a full sprint, galloping along, and I slip my foot in the stirrup and pull myself up on the saddle.