Don't Deny Me

by Megan Hart

  Alice snorted soft laughter and rolled her eyes. “What, you won’t let me share with you this time?”

  She’d been half joking, but Jay’s silence gave her pause. She stopped working and twirled in her chair. The last trip to Bernie’s, she and Jay had shared the loft room he always snagged because it had a small, private balcony where he could go to smoke. The double bed had been too small for two, especially if they weren’t lovers, which she and Jay of course had never been. She didn’t want to share a room with him, but the fact he wasn’t offering meant something important.

  “Jay!”

  “I … invited someone along.”

  “Yeah, you told me you had a new friend. Mick, you said his name was.”

  Another beat of silence. “No, another friend. He’s … special.”

  Jay hadn’t had a boyfriend in about eight months. His last breakup had been bad, right around the same time as hers. They’d both vowed off men for a while.

  “What’s his name?”

  “Paul.”

  “Not the guy from the club!”

  “The guy from the club,” Jay admitted. “I know. It’s trashy. But …”

  “It can’t be that trashy if you’re bringing him to Bernie’s for the weekend. Unless you’re trying to get rid of him, thinking we’ll scare him away.” She grinned.

  Jay laughed. “You might anyway.”

  “We’ll be extra super nice to him. You know that.”

  “Yeah. That’s what might scare him away.” Jay made another muffled noise. “Hey, gotta run. Bernie and Cookie just got back from the grocery store and I promised I’d help with the marinade. Or something, I thought it was marinade but who knows, I might’ve agreed to anything. Get here! I miss the hell out of you.”

  “Me too. I’ll be there by dinner time.” She made kissy noises into the phone and hung up, then spun her chair another time or two, thinking of the weekend ahead.

  Nothing but sunshine, booze, food, and relaxing. She was so ready for it. Work had been brutal over the past month or so, somehow made more indignantly awful because the weather had been so stinking hot. Not even the end of June yet, and already there’d been heat warnings all over the place. She couldn’t wait to get to the lake house.

  She’d meant to leave work at noon and be on the road by one, get to Bernie’s place in Northern Virginia by three or four at the latest, but she ought to have known better. Getting out on a Friday was never easy, especially not when she was taking Monday off. Everyone in the world had the same idea about avoiding traffic of course, and she’d needed to stop for gas and an extra-large coffee to pep her up since she’d been up until past midnight packing and taking care of all the stuff she always managed to wait until the last minute to do. Now here she was on the road on a Friday afternoon and hitting all the traffic on 83 South toward Baltimore—and yep, there was an accident that closed the road, diverting traffic to the alternate route.

  For six hours.

  By the time she was able to finally get off the rural highway and back onto the state route, Alice had gone through every CD in her car a few times over. She’d stopped for gas and to use the bathroom as well as stock up on some road trip snacks, since at this point, making it to Bernie’s house by dinnertime was so not happening. Thank God for her sleeveless summer dress, because she’d had to drive with her windows down to keep her engine from overheating. By the time she finally pulled into Bernie’s driveway, Alice felt frazzled.

  “I’m here!” she cried when she opened the door, flinging it wide and stumbling through it on legs numb from sitting so long, her bag heavy enough to keep her off balance. Graceless, awkward, uncoordinated, she didn’t care how she looked as she let go of the bag and tripped into Bernie’s living room. “Who’s bringing me a drink?”

  Too late, she saw the video camera. Bernie waved at her, and she waved back, self-conscious but only a little. She was among friends, after all.

  And some strangers, Alice realized as the man talking to Bernie turned and gave her a half smile. It couldn’t be Paul, she knew that at once. Jay had described his new flame as blond and blue-eyed, a Viking. This guy had thick black hair and eyes of piercing, vivid blue beneath dark, knitted brows. Mick, then—Jay’s other friend—unless Bernie had invited some other new stranger for the weekend.

  “That’s Mick McManus,” Jay confirmed ten minutes later while Alice dumped her stuff in her room. “Irish as Guinness and Lord of the Dance.”

  Alice unzipped her bag and shook the three dresses she’d packed to get the wrinkles out, then hung them in the closet, debating if she needed to change her clothes after the horrendous trip. “How’d you meet him?”

  “We worked on a project together last year. He’s one of the few guys from Herston Tech I can handle for more than an hour at a time.”

  “I thought you could handle most guys for more than an hour at a time,” Alice teased.

  Jay made a face and lounged on the bed while she dug through her bag to lay out the rest of her stuff. “Anyway, we’ve managed a couple projects together since then, and sometimes we’ll have drinks after work, and then I just ended up inviting him here. You know Bernie and Cookie love to meet new people.”

  “And he’s straight?”

  “So straight,” Jay said.

  Alice went into the Jack-and-Jill bathroom she was sharing with Cookie’s niece Tanya and ran some cool water on a washcloth she used on her face and the back of her neck. A quick swipe under her arms. After a second’s hesitation, she grabbed her makeup bag and swiped on some powder. A little gloss. From the bedroom, Jay made a woo-woo noise.

  Alice poked her head out of the bathroom. “Shut up.”

  “I thought you were swearing off guys.” Jay grinned.

  “What? I’m just trying to look like I didn’t spend six hours on a three-hour car ride.” Alice shrugged and smoothed on a touch of mascara, eyeing her reflection. Her hair was a mess, but not in a bad way. And she didn’t look like she’d made a huge effort at primping. She came out of the bathroom. “Hey, do I smell bad?”

  Jay chortled but took an obligatory sniff. “Like spring flowers and gas station doughnuts.”

  “You can be such an ass.” She punched his shoulder, and he grabbed her wrist to tug her down next to him.

  “Missed you.” He hugged her.

  Alice squeezed him. “That’s the problem with being adults, right? Gotta work, pay bills, do responsible things.”

  “Yeah.” Jay sighed against her neck and flopped back onto the bed, arms out, to stare at the ceiling. “Shit, Alice. What am I gonna do about Paul?”

  She poked his side and got up to put her bag away in the closet. “Where is he, by the way?”

  “Later than you, and he’s not stuck in traffic. Maybe he’s not coming. Maybe,” Jay said dourly, “he’s blowing me off. Again.”

  That sounded bad. “Again? Don’t tell me you settle for that.”

  Jay gave her a look. Alice sighed. Shook her head.

  Jay sat up. “He’s worked his cock magic all over me, Alice.”

  “Oh, lordy.” She raised both brows, but not in judgment. “That bad? Or good, whichever.”

  “He’s …” Jay’s voice trailed away, not quite dreamy but definitely a little starry eyed. “Just … so …”

  “I get it. I get it.” Alice held up her hands. “And you know I’ll be there with you every step, even if it means picking you up after you fall. That’s our deal.”

  Jay looked solemn and held out his hand. “Pinkies.”

  “Always.” Alice linked her pinky with his, both of them curling their fingers tight. “You know it.”

  * * *

  Mick didn’t believe in regret, but he was sort of wishing he hadn’t let Jay talk him into coming along this weekend. It was always a little weird being a houseguest anyway, and being a guest in the house of someone he didn’t even know was just that much stranger. Not that Bernie or his wife, Cookie, had made Mick feel anything but welcomed
or comfortable. He just wasn’t really used to being the odd guy out, the one without the inside jokes.

  He was flat out grumpy, that was the problem. No good to anyone but the devil himself, his grandmother might’ve said with a shake of her finger, before sending him to his room to sulk it out. He sent himself outside to the deck instead, a bottle of beer that should’ve been good enough to change his mood in one hand. He’d finish it up, then make his early night excuses and hit the sack. Sleep would help the bad mood. It usually did.

  And if it didn’t, he admitted, he was an asshole who didn’t deserve to be here. This place was amazing. When Jay had described his buddy Bernie’s place, Mick had imagined a rustic cabin in the woods. As it turned out, the house was amazing, a log structure, sure, but built into a hill with a finished walkout basement and a huge deck overlooking a vast, sweeping yard and garden. The kitchen, top-of-the-line gourmet. The guest rooms, even the tiny basement room Mick had been assigned, were well appointed and totally set up to make everyone staying there feel like they were at a resort. Only a dick would stay in a bad mood, Mick told himself as he took a long swallow of beer and tried to force himself to stop being a dick.

  Behind him, the French doors opened, letting out a waft of good cooking smells and laughter. He half turned, preparing to make small talk, but stopped when he saw who it was. Alice, whom he’d met only briefly forty minutes ago when she arrived. The redhead in the green dress.

  The gorgeous redhead, Mick amended, watching her as she leaned on the railing to look out into the yard. She wore her hair cut just to her chin and swept to one side, tucked behind her ear to reveal a pointed chin. Heart-shaped face, Mick thought, knowing he was staring but unable to look away. She caught his gaze and gave him a smile.

  “Hey. I’m Alice, and you’re—”

  “Mick McManus.”

  She lifted her glass of wine toward him. “Jay brought you.”

  “Um … yeah. He mentioned you, said you were friends since college?”

  Alice turned to rest her elbows on the railing, cocking one leg so the hem of her green dress hitched a little higher on her thigh. “Yep. And you guys work together sometimes.”

  “Yeah.”

  Mick drank some beer. Alice drank some wine. Neither of them said much of anything. Just drank and looked at each other until he wondered if maybe he had spilled sauce on his shirt during dinner or something.

  “So,” she said, “are you always this much of a scintillating conversationalist, or is it just me?”

  Incredibly, Mick laughed. Grumpy, out of place and out of sorts, lack-of-sleep mood and all, to anyone else his reaction would’ve been a scowl. But not to her.

  “Sorry,” he said through a chortle. “I’m in a bad mood.”

  Alice burst into laughter, too. “Are you?”

  “Yeah.” He laughed a little harder, not sure what was so funny about it other than it felt so freaking good to laugh with her that he didn’t want to stop.

  She was that kind of girl, he thought, watching her tip her head back in peals of bright and shining giggles that completely charmed him. The kind that made you never want to stop. At that thought, he took a couple of steps closer.

  She noticed. Eyes gleaming. Her tongue dipped to touch the center of her bottom lip for a second or so, long enough to catch his attention but not keep it from going back to her eyes. Not blue, though he’d have thought so. Gray, pale gray with a dark ring around the iris. Maybe it was the light. It didn’t matter, really. He was caught in them.

  “So,” she said in a low voice. She hadn’t moved. One hand still curled loosely around a wineglass that was now almost empty.

  Mick smiled. “So.”

  They stared again for a moment or so until her chin lifted. She took a long, slow sip of wine, finishing the glass. He watched her throat work as she swallowed, and his own went dry.

  “You could get me another drink,” Alice told him. “If you wanted to.”

  Yeah. He wanted to. “White?”

  “Yeah. I’ll come in with you. It’s a little chilly out here.” She handed him her empty glass and rubbed at her arms with a little shiver but a smile that heated him up. She brushed past him in a way that only a jackass would have thought was accidental. A glance over her shoulder had his eyes making those little hearts like in the cartoons.

  He followed her inside.

  They weren’t alone in there, which wasn’t as nice as it had been out there on the deck, but his mood had improved immensely. Mick put his empty bottle in the bin and poured Alice a fresh glass of wine. Her fingers brushed his when she took it. Her eyes—and they were indeed pale gray, as he’d guessed, held his. She smiled and sipped, and there was nobody else in the room. Not for him.

  Somehow after that the inside jokes didn’t bother him. Not that he felt like he had to be the life of the party or anything—it was enough to sit next to Alice on the couch and feel the heat of her hip on his, the occasional brush of her shoulder. The drift of her fingers on his knee every so often when she reached to put down or pick up her glass. The group had moved conversation to a rowdy game of bullshit, so cards were flying and people were shouting and laughing. It was easy enough to let her touch him like it was an accident, though every now and then the way her gaze snagged his convinced him that it was anything but.

  The hours crept past midnight before he knew it. At nearly one in the morning, someone new arrived to a chorus of friendly catcalls and admonishments—Paul, his name was. Jay had invited him the same way he’d invited Mick. Or not quite the same, Mick thought as he watched Jay embrace the other man. They didn’t kiss or anything, but there was more to that greeting than casual friendship.

  Alice saw it, too, and she murmured, “Finally.”

  Mick looked at her. She shrugged, the two of them still sitting on the couch while everyone else had moved to take empty plates and glasses to the kitchen, or to say hello to Paul. It would be obvious in a few seconds that she ought to move away from him now that there was more room on the couch, but for the moment, they still pressed thigh to thigh. She half turned toward him with a small smile.

  “It’s late,” Alice said. “Probably bedtime, huh?”

  If it was an invitation, he lacked just enough confidence to act on it. She squeezed his shoulder as she got up, but it could’ve been meaningless. Mick watched her say hello to Paul and get a kiss and hug from Jay, he watched her say good night without looking his way or sending any other signals, and when she’d disappeared down the hallway, he finally found the incentive to get off the couch himself.

  In his basement room, Mick fell asleep thinking of Alice’s laughter, but he fell asleep alone.

  * * *

  A full day at the lake, followed by dinner and a bonfire, with s’mores, campfire songs, and hilarity … it would’ve been enough to send anyone off into slumberland. Yet Alice hummed with the unreleased tension of the hours and hours of not-quite flirting she and Mick had been doing since last night on the deck. It was making her crazy.

  She hadn’t meant anything the night before, heading outside where he’d been brooding with a beer. She’d only meant to get some air and say hi to Jay’s friend. Okay, so the new guy was easy on the eyes, nothing wrong with that, right? But it wasn’t the thick dark hair falling over those crystalline eyes or the quirk of his smile or the broad shoulders or amazing forearms that had gotten her so tangled up inside. At least it wasn’t only those things. It had been the simple way he made sure she always had a fresh drink. The almost sly way he’d let his eyes slip to hers when someone told a joke, as though he’d been waiting for her reaction alone, as though nobody else’s mattered.

  She’d been snared.

  No other way to describe it. The question was, would she do something about it? Watching him now from across the fire, Alice thought she would.

  She’d never been the kind of girl to sit back and let the world come to her. She went after scholarships and relationships and whatever else she w
anted, usually with a practiced determination and practicality that had served her well enough through the years. Sure, she’d been disappointed in her pursuits a few times, but that was part of going after what you wanted—you had to be prepared to lose.

  Somehow, Alice didn’t think she was going to lose. Not with the way Mick’s gaze kept slipping back to capture hers, no matter where she stood, or how he made sure to somehow be wherever she was. Not in an obvious way, nothing anyone else might see, because while Mick was pursuing Alice, she was making it extremely easy for him to do it.

  When the fire had burned to coals and there were more yawns than laughs going around the circle, Alice gathered up as much trash as she could and paused next to Mick. “Hey. Help me carry this up to the house?”

  Jay and Paul had both disappeared an hour before. Bernie and Cookie were snuggled together, and Tanya had fallen asleep in a lawn chair. Alice, with Mick a step or two behind, carried the garbage to the oversized can at the base of the deck steps and dumped it in. It was darker up here, the light from the fire an orange haze at the bottom of the garden and the house itself lit only dimly from a few lights in the living room. Under the deck, sliding glass doors led into the finished basement … and the room where Mick was sleeping.

  “Wanna play some pool?” Alice asked.

  Mick laughed softly. “Are you any good?”

  “Terrible. But that’s what makes it so much fun.”

  There was a beat or two of silence, in which she was sure he’d reach for her. He had to, didn’t he? After eye fucking her all night long, surely he’d move a little closer. Lean in. Put his hands on her hips.

  Instead, Mick backed away. “Sure. I’ll play.”

  Alice followed him inside, calculating how many steps between the sliding doors and the hallway to his bedroom. Imagining herself stripping out of her dress and letting it fall to the floor, walking in just her bra and panties to his room with no more than a glance over her shoulder and a crook of her finger. He’d follow, she was sure of that. Yet something stopped her. … Anticipation was delicious, after all.