Mr Darcy's Cottage of Earthly Delights
Page 29
She giggled at his reference to their discussion of accomplishments at Netherfield. Still, she removed the humour from her face quickly and used the reference to begin their serious discussion. He had hoped for a few more moments, but she jumped into the topic with fervour. "Yes, I have been comprehending a great deal on your accomplishments and my enjoyment of them. As you know, I have been mired in remorse and recriminations. I felt both guilt and joy when I remembered our time together in the cottage. Both disrupted my slumber. It was as if they were fighting a battle for my soul, when I would attempt to sleep. In the end, the remembered pleasure always won. My fingers pretended they were yours, but it was not the same.”
Darcy’s mirth was long gone, and those uncomfortable emotions he often battled lately were awakened by her confession. He bent to kiss her softly.
She smiled in appreciation before she spoke. “Somehow, I forced myself to believe that something so wonderful should be embraced. The words of love and constancy in your letters were allies of my joy during those nightly battles.” He watched her face in hopes he would make no mistake in understanding her meaning. “I became resolved to put aside my fears; but my mind took a new turn, when my mother warned me that coupling with you may not be pleasing. She had often heard wives complain of their husbands’ fumbled attempts. She also seemed to allude to your being such a big man, and my being small as a problem.”
Darcy laughed with relief at the turn of her mind. Elizabeth gave him a warning glance that she was very serious. He immediately returned to his sombre mien. “Then earlier tonight, Lydia, who has not quite learned to moderate her tongue, told me she had to speak of her experiences with Wickham to someone. She reckoned that since I would be a maiden for only a few short days, it was not so very inappropriate to tell me of her fears. It appears Wickham just climbed atop, and began pumping. I had never thought of the need to prepare a woman before she described her ordeal—but you had known to do so—even today with our quick coupling."
Darcy knew they were coming close to the time for his confession, “You should reassure your sister. Jon is very aware of the need to ready a woman for love, and he also knows as well as I how to please. He has already begun to relax her with touches and caresses.”
“Yes, she told me of their first kiss. His breathless charm has quite captured her foolish heart. All he did was trace her lips with his finger, and tell her how beautiful they were. I think he described them as ripe cherries, just before he bent in for a very soft kiss. I suspect the second one will have a bit more passion. It is a bit like priming a pump… eh.”
“Oh Elizabeth, you sound so cynical. He loves her, and he wants to give her pleasure. There is something to be said for knowing how to do just that.”
“So did he learn in the same way you learned?”
Darcy swallowed hard and cleared his throat. The time had come to talk of other things, “He did. Jon’s aunt runs a very elite brothel. My father took me there to be ‘educated’ when I was sixteen. Do you know what a brothel is?”
Lizzy’s face was inscrutable. Perhaps he saw a bit of incredulity, perhaps a bit of uncertainty… may even some horror. He really could not discern. Finally she spoke. “I think I know.” Her voice took on an amazed tone, “You were sixteen and your father took you?”
He stifled a laugh by burying his nose in her hair before he replied, “Yes, he did.”
“I have read of such places in novels. Men pay to be with women… right. I have heard gossip. There is rumoured to be a place in Meryton… a Mrs Watson’s that I believe was for such a purpose.”
“Yes, men pay and women accommodate their needs. Mrs Teasewell—actually she is an Earl’s daughter, so she has the right to be called Lady Sarah. I believe she stopped using the title to protect her brother’s family from any scandal because of her business. She hoped her place would allow young men to both enjoy themselves, and learn to please their wives. That was the main reason my father took me. Her husband had been one of those of which your mother had heard. He was like Wickham as a lover.”
Elizabeth was quiet for a few moments. Darcy was still trying to decide if he needed to tell her anything more. She had turned to face him when they began talking. Now, her cheek and ear were against his chest, and she seemed to be listening to his heart as she had described earlier. Finally she spoke again, “I am beginning to comprehend that the term ‘lover’ is misapplied to those men. I think they are rather ‘users.’ They care little for the woman they are with, and instead just derive a bit of pleasure for themselves.” She planted a kiss on his chest. “How lucky I am to have found a man to love me that truly understands the meaning of the word.”
Darcy was very pleased with her observation. Her next words, however, caused him some concern.
“I also know about brothels because of my talk earlier with Lydia. She told me Wickham was going to sell her to some place like that. Are the women at Mrs Teasedale’s place like Lydia… young, pretty, but compromised?”
“Yes, most are. Mrs T takes in the lucky ones, but she never pays a bounty. The other places, like the one Wickham had arranged to take Lydia to are wretched. They take no precautions against disease. They have no policy, like the one at Mrs T’s that insists patrons must withdraw, in order to avoid the woman becoming with child. The women at other establishments, or who sell themselves in the streets or music halls often die very young.”
Tears came to her as she responded to his description, “Oh, thank you, Will for saving my sister. She was wrong to run away with Wickham, but no young woman deserves a fate as you describe. I have come to realize that if Lord Colton had not proposed, I would have been happy to withstand the ruination and gossip, if it meant I could have saved her from marriage to Wickham. It would have meant giving you up, but I would have been willing to pay that price in order to give her a chance for a life without misery.”
His intake of breath and stiffening of his body matched his reaction to her words. He knew the conversation had settled on the issue of trust. “Elizabeth, why do you assume I would have abandoned you because of the scandal? How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you believe me? I had already made inquiries about alternatives to that worthless man, who tricked both our sisters. Somewhere, far away from Meryton, I was sure to find an upstanding and loving widower who would appreciate a beautiful young wife. But luckily, Lord Colton went to the theatre, met a compromised woman who fulfilled his fantasy of marrying ‘Lydia Languish’ and tumbled head over heels in love.”
“She wants me to explain all of Mrs Malaprop’s twisted words. The next time they go to see his favourite play, she wants to be able to laugh with him. Their meeting that night at the theatre sounds so ridiculous when I hear the facts. It is as unbelievable as the plot of some stage comedy; but I have seen them together. I believe he is genuine in his affections.”
His burst of anger receded as her mind veered in a different direction. “He is; and they are truly a good match. They both love to laugh and dance. They delight in the novels of Mrs Radcliffe. He thinks her beautiful, and if she is having you explain The Rivals to her, she wants to please him. Most importantly for Lydia, she will be well loved. Jon’s family does not rigidly adhere to the rules of the highest circles. They are a family that believes in marriage for love… above size of dowry, connections and consequence. My parents believed the same.”
Darcy knew what he was about to say would return their conversation to the difficulties between them—but it needed to be done. “Oh, how I wish I had acted like Lord Colton… and allowed the attraction we both felt that night at the assembly to blossom immediately. Instead, I denied my father’s legacy, and refused to accept the evidence of my feelings. My actions that night, set in motion your lack of trust. Tell me of your fears, my love.”
“I believed I was not worthy of your respect, because I tricked you into making love to me that day in the cottage.”
“How did you trick me?”
“I be
nt over, so you would be enticed by my bottom and acquiesce to my demand.”
Darcy concentrated very hard on her hair in order to stifle laughter at her words. She definitely over estimated his ability to withstand the gift she had offered him, when she requested he make love to her. “So, you determined I have rigid scruples, and it was only your wanton behaviour that caused me to agree. Now that you have learned I have been giving in to my baser nature since I was sixteen… what think you of my scruples?”
“Your point is well taken. What about my sisters? You seemed to believe their behaviour inappropriate.”
“I did say that to you in my letter, but I was wrong. Besides, Lydia’s actions were not that different from Georgiana’s. Your father and I were much more culpable in her being tricked by Wickham. How dare I cast stones at your family because of Lydia?”
Darcy planted kisses in her hair before he continued, “I have grown quite fond of Lydia. I am pleased she will be my sister. She and Georgiana are helping each other recover from their ordeals. By the way, I thought it touching that Georgiana gave Lydia a copy of the novel you gave to her. The one by a lady… with a rake who builds up a young woman’s hopes, and then marries someone with a large dowry.
“Sense and Sensibility”
“Yes, that is the one. Every day Georgiana becomes less shy from being around both you and Lydia.”
Elizabeth traced her finger across his chest. She hesitated before she said, “What if I am unable to give you a son?”
Darcy was unprepared for this fear. He said, “What has caused you to worry about this now?”
“My mother feels it was her failing to give my father an heir that caused him to grow tired of her. They were not well suited to each other, but they did enjoy each other physically, in the beginning.”
“Elizabeth, my property is not entailed. If you give me five daughters, it is of no significance. The oldest will inherit. If you give me no children, Georgiana’s children will inherit. The gift I want from you is to be by my side, and in my bed for the rest of my days and nights. Unlike your parents, we are well suited to each other in other ways than our physical pleasure. We love the same books, we love to debate, we love the theatre, we love music, and most importantly we love each other.”
“I said something similar to Mama without any references to physical pleasure. What about my mother’s mercenary actions?”
Darcy squeezed her. “Seen in the light of her feeling of inadequacy with regard the entail, I am able to forgive her manoeuvring. She was protecting her children. I admire that she wanted to provide for all five of you and save you from reduced circumstances. Her words were crude, but her motives were admirable. The mothers of the ton who threw their daughters at me had no such material worries. They wanted the status of my wealth and connections. Once again, I was wrong in my evaluation of your mother.”
“What about your family? The Earl and the Countess of Elderton—what will they think of me? What about their son, the Viscount Lillebridge and his wife? Will they shun you because of your marriage to me?”
“I plan to send an express to them tomorrow telling of our wedding. Hopefully, they will accept you, but if not we will survive. Richard is a great admirer of you; and I believe even if there is initial hesitancy on the part of his parents, brother and sister-in-law; he will bring them around. Besides your sister is marrying a man who will be a peer. You will have first circle connections, once that event occurs. You did not ask about Lady Catherine.”
Elizabeth bestowed small kisses to his chest. She answered his question, “I know she will never approve of me.”
“You are correct. I doubt she ever will, but she is precisely like those women of the ton of whom I disapprove. Recently, I learned that in the beginning she did not approve of my parents marriage, because my father had no title. She is a bitter woman who was thwarted in her quest to become a countess.”
Elizabeth was quiet for quite a while. Finally he heard her voice filled with sleep say, “My mother told Mr Collins of our impending nuptials. That was yesterday. Surely he rushed back to Rosings to immediately tell his patroness.”
Will sighed and said, “I am sure he did.”
16
EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT ‘THE WEDDING’
While their daughter was having a most intimate encounter both physical and philosophical with her betrothed, Mr and Mrs Bennet were sharing a room at the Gardiner’s home. This was the usual arrangement during their sojourns to London. Her brother’s home could not afford separate rooms unless there were few other guests. With five daughters often in tow, rarely was that the situation. This time, with only Mr and Mrs Phillips additionally in residence, different accommodations could have been provided. However, both Mr and Mrs Bennet assured their hostess that the usual arrangement would suffice.
Mrs Bennet had often wondered whether her husband’s public dislike of town had at its root his being forced to endure closeness with her that had long ceased to be enjoyable. Eminent disaster, followed by the joyous nature of this particular trip, seemed to have diminished some barriers. Mrs Bennet noted immediately upon her arrival that he did not address her in a way that pointed out her nonsensicalness.
While they had been parted, his letters to her had been cordial, informative and filled with concern for her feelings. The tragedy that had threatened to ruin their family’s reputation; followed by the turn of events that brought to mind their hopes for their daughters’ happiness had given both of them cause to reflect on their own marriage.
Mr Bennet, for his part, had been impacted by several discussions with the more serious of the two young men who were to become his long anticipated sons. The love that his daughter had inspired had caught him quite unawares, and his memory turned to his emotions twenty-four years previously.
Unlike so many men who entered into marriages of convenience, he had thought he was marrying for love. Frances Gardiner had certainly been beautiful. She had Jane’s classic beauty and colouring combined with a small curvy body like Elizabeth’s. Even after giving birth to five children she was still very lovely. Slightly plumper, but hardly wrinkled by time; she had passed on her beautiful glowing complexion to all five of her daughters.
Thomas Bennet’s conversations with Mr Darcy had allowed him to realize it had really been lust that had won him to Fanny. Earlier in the day, he had been certain he had seen evidence of a similar unregulated passion between his daughter and her betrothed.
“Fanny, I believe Elizabeth has anticipated her vows.”
“As did we; and I for one would feel hypocritical with the wedding so close to confront her with our conjectures. What do you think we should we do? We have no proof.”
Mr Bennet’s face reflected his serious attempt to answer her questions and concerns. “My goal is not to humiliate her, but I do want to avoid gossip. We have our other daughters’ reputations to consider. I am quite certain it happened today in your brother’s study, but I am more troubled by the belief that it also happened in Derbyshire.”
“Based on the glow she had when returning to the parlour, I am certain you are correct about this afternoon.” Fanny laughed at a picture that came into her head. “Also, I do not believe their first time would be attempted during a quick encounter as was the case with their time in Edward’s library.”
Thomas arranged a lock of his wife’s hair. It was an intimate gesture that had practically ceased to exist between the two. She did not pull away, but instead smiled at her husband as he spoke. “Your brother says they were missing for the better part of an afternoon at Pemberley. It is already a possibility Lydia may be with child. If Lizzy is also, and they both deliver early, the rumours will begin.
“I can assure you it is not possible with Elizabeth.” Fanny Bennet blushed with what she was about to tell her husband. In their years of marriage, she had only rarely told him she was unavailable. Never had she explained the nature of the monthly occurrence. “She had her courses when she return
ed from Derbyshire. Elizabeth always experiences some pain, and she mentioned it to me. Once with child a woman’s courses cease.”
“We need not fear he will back out of the wedding. His feelings for her are somewhat overwhelming when he speaks of them. I may probe the question of anticipation tomorrow, when we meet about the settlement, but in a very tactful way. He is an amazingly honest young man, and has revealed many personal things to me in order to reassure me of his love.”
Once again Mrs Bennet smiled at her husband. “That sounds like a wise approach. You have always been superior to me in comprehension.”
Her smile was returned with even greater intensity. In fact it appeared he was appreciating a vision involving his wife. “Fanny, Elizabeth told me of your confrontation with Mr Collins. Let me say how proud I am of your words. I have misjudged you. In front of our children, I have ridiculed you and pronounced you silly. If I felt your behaviour to be less than appropriate, I should have raised my concerns with you in private. I shut you out, and escaped to my world of books, forgiving Tom Jones for his foibles was easier than forgiving you yours. Embracing the peculiarities of Don Quixote and Rory Random was easier than embracing yours. Not to mention, I never admitted to any faults of my own. Lydia’s folly brought out in bold relief just how deficient I was as a parent. Fate in the form of Mr Darcy has stepped in and saved our daughters.”
Mrs Bennet looked perplexed at her husband’s words. She shrugged her shoulders. Who were these men he had forgiven and embraced? She studied her hands and collected her thoughts before she spoke. “But I have been nonsensical. Once it became clear I would probably never be able to have another child and had not yet produced an heir to satisfy the entail, I believed I was responsible for ruining both your life and our daughters’ lives. My feeble attempts to marry off our daughters were a way to compensate for my failure. Yes, Mr Darcy has saved us. At least two of our daughters will have consequence far beyond anything I could have imagined a year ago when Mr Bingley leased Netherfield.” Mrs Bennet yawned at the end of her confession.