A MAN CALLED BLUE

by EC Sheedy

  "Nothing."

  "I see." Josephine dipped her chin, the movement crisp and stubborn. She walked back to the sofa she'd been sitting on and picked up her handbag. "And I suppose you'll be leaving Anjana?"

  "Yes, but not because of Blue. I don't belong there, Mother. I think you know that. I've tried to fill your shoes, to have Anjana be for me what it is for you, but I can't." Simone walked to Josephine, her steps tentative, her feet as leaden as her heart. She reached out her hands palms up. "The truth is, I've tried to be you, but... I can't." When Josephine made no move to come toward her, Simone dropped her hands to her sides."I love you, Mother. I want your blessing... please."

  For a moment, Josephine's gaze faltered. She glanced away, then visibly straightened, as though throwing off a moment of weakness, then she strode to the door. Her hand on the door latch, she stopped, and without turning, quietly said, "Don't give him all of yourself, Simone. Don't love too much. Men will always do what they want to do. Even if it means leaving you behind. Thomas Bludell is no different. He'll leave and you won't be able to stop him." She smiled faintly. "Doucet women are notoriously unlucky in love. I thought you'd learned that."

  "Mother, please..."

  Josephine stepped through the open door without looking back.

  Her plea ignored, Simone gripped the back of the sofa, digging her nails into the fine damask. Seconds later, the outside door closed solidly behind Josephine, making her desertion as final and irrevocable as the ones before it.

  This could not be happening.

  Simone wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her shoulders, closing her eyes against surging tears and the assault of her confused thoughts. Hurt and anger fused, became indistinguishable, until rational thought proved impossible.

  Self-pity probed her spirit, a shadowy enemy bent on sabotage. She shook it off and stiffened her spine. No, she told herself. I did the right thing. Josephine would come around. It would just take time. It would all work out. It had to. She pushed aside the memory of Josephine's two-year silence during Simone's marriage to Harper. That was then, this is now. This time it would be different.

  She walked to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a scotch. Before the glass was to her lips, she set it down. She didn't want it, had never wanted it.

  She wanted Blue.

  * * *

  Blue didn't hear her come in; he saw her as he turned from the window to resume the uneasy pacing he'd been indulging in since coming upstairs.

  She walked directly to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

  He held her without speaking. This time it wasn't a lack of words silencing him, but the intuition that no words were necessary. She was eerily still, quiet, the ravaged quiet of a beach after a storm. Whatever had happened downstairs had been tough on her. He hated that, hated the idea he'd caused it. He kissed her hair and stroked its length.

  "I don't suppose you want to tell me about it," he said finally, lifting her face to his.

  She shook her head. "No. Not now." Her smile was faint. "Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

  He nodded. "Have you eaten?"

  "No."

  "Why don't I call down and tell Marie to put dinner on hold. It's a nice night. We'll go for a walk and maybe get a bite at a pub along the way."

  "Sounds good. Especially the walk." Stepping back, she brushed at her cheeks before looking up at him, her eyes now serious and questioning. "Blue?"

  "Uh-huh." He waited.

  "What's between us, it's important, isn't it? I mean really important."

  He held her by the shoulders, dipping his head to meet her eyes. "What's between us is the most important thing in my life. Never doubt it—not for a moment."

  He watched her take a breath, briefly close her eyes, as if inhaling his words. Saying nothing more, she turned to walk to her room. "I'll get a sweater. It might turn chilly."

  * * *

  That night they didn't make love. Blue frowned into the darkness above his bed. He'd considered initiating lovemaking, certainly his body had, but he'd backed off. He wasn't sure why, but it had a lot to do with Simone's strange mood. All night, she'd been remote, drawn into herself. It was as if she were grieving.

  He shifted to look at the sleeping woman in his bed, her features wan in the moonlit room. So beautiful. He pulled her closer, and she settled into the space by his shoulder, her breath skipping across his exposed nipple. He shuddered.

  Closing his eyes, he willed himself to sleep. Morning. In the morning, she'd tell him what was wrong and he'd fix it—somehow he'd fix it.

  When the phone rang, Blue came awake with a start, his heart pounding. He narrowly missed trashing the crystal bedside lamp in his haste to answer it.

  Beside him Simone pushed herself up on her elbows. He didn't have time to tell her to go back to sleep before he picked up.

  "This better be worth waking me up for," he growled into the phone.

  "Hey, Blue?"

  "Jelly?"

  "What's happenin'?"

  "Sleep—until a second ago." Blue glanced at the clock. Four-fifteen. In the damned a.m. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I have to believe there's a good reason for this call," he muttered.

  "Pearson's back. Came back yesterday. You said you wanted to know."

  Blue straightened. "And Roth?"

  "He's here, too."

  Blue cursed and shoved the hair out of his eyes.

  "Sam's sellin', Blue. Leastwise, that's what he told me. Wants it done quick, he says. Roth is trying to talk him outta listing with an agent. Tellin' him to keep the sale private. Save the fees."

  But not the trees, Blue thought. He knew Roth's plans were to build a marina—and a nine-hole golf course on Moonlight Island. The boater's course, he called it. Blue thought the idea stunk and had told him so.

  "Blue? You still there?"

  "Yeah. Are you sure about this, Jelly?" He snapped to full alert. "And why the hell is Sam in such a damned hurry all of a sudden?"

  "I'm sure. Sam just walked outta here." Munching accompanied Jelly's answer to Blue's first question. Blue heard him swallow before he went on. "And he's in a hurry, he says, because his daughter's havin' a baby. He wants to help her and her man buy a house. Seems they got one all picked out somewhere in Oregon."

  "Damn!" Blue felt Simone's hands slide up his back. She knelt behind him and put her head on his shoulder.

  "What ya want me to tell Sam?"

  "Tell him if he sells that island before I get there, I'll wring his stubborn old neck."

  "Done. See ya."

  Blue hung up the phone and Simone wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her breasts against him. She was warm and sleepy, and her hair tickled his back. It felt good. Damn good.

  "Problems?" she asked, nibbling his earlobe. He briefly closed his eyes and tilted his head. Being tasted was almost as good as tasting.

  "I hope not." He swung around, pulled her onto his lap, and did what he'd been wanting to do since last night—kissed her thoroughly. That done, she cuddled closer, drawing circles around his nipple. He stayed her hand.

  "But I have to leave, love. I know Sam Pearson, and if he's made up his mind to sell Moonlight, it's as good as done. I don't want to lose it."

  She nuzzled his chest, still not fully awake. "So I'll wire him a big enough deposit to make him wait."

  He looked down at her. "You'll wire?" Her comment was so unexpected, it amazed more than angered him.

  "It would give us this week together in London, Blue." She kissed his chin and for the first time fully opened her eyes.

  "We'll come back," he promised. "Sometime when neither of us has business to worry about. I'm going to get one shot at buying Moonlight. I don't want to blow it. If I leave today, I might even make it back at the end of the week to fly home with you."

  She stiffened, pulling from his arms to stand in front of him, quiet and tense. He switched on the lamp.

  "Simon
e, what is it?" Her behavior puzzled him.

  She gave him a purely speculative look. "I don't want you to go."

  "Hey, I don't want to go either, and if Sam wasn't such an eccentric old buzzard, I'd do it through my lawyers, but he is and I can't. He's a handshake kind of man."

  "So you'll go even if I ask you not to." It wasn't a question and the look she gave him was steely.

  Blue felt as if he were on the end of a long branch and Simone held a saw. He was confused and was sure it showed. "Am I missing something here?" he asked, determined to sort things out.

  "You're missing the point."

  "Which is?"

  "I'm asking you not to go." She reached for her robe at the end of the bed and pulled it on, yanking its sash tight to her waist.

  He shook his head. "No. That's not what you're asking. You're asking me to pass on an opportunity I've been waiting years for. And that's okay, I'll do it—if you give me a good reason. Can you?"

  She turned her back on him, walked a few steps, and turned back, her delicate features stubborn. "You promised me three weeks, Blue. You signed a contract."

  "Contract—" He felt his jaw slacken. "My god, you're serious."

  "Perfectly serious."

  Utterly bewildered, Blue had the uncomfortable feeling his branch had a couple of saw marks in it already. He was also damned irritated. "Is this an ultimatum, Simone?"

  "You could consider it that." She lifted her chin.

  Momentarily not trusting himself to speak, he stood and headed for the bureau, opened a drawer, and pulled out a pair briefs. He pulled them on and headed for his slacks. Simone slipped her feet into a pair of fluffy slippers as he zipped up. He shrugged into a shirt and started to button it. She gave another tug on her belt.

  Blue inhaled, exhaled, and put his hands on his hips, wondering where in hell to go from here. He didn't want to choose the wrong words, widen the chasm. He was halfway across the room from her, but at the moment, it might as well have been the length of an aircraft carrier.

  This was nuts!

  "Tiger," he said, "I love you, but I'm not good with ultimatums. You're not serious about that contract business, are you?"

  "Very. In that contract you promised you'd stay a full three weeks. I have no interest in those people who break promises, regardless of the circumstances."

  His confusion flamed to anger. "So now I'm one of those people?"

  She nodded stubbornly and sawed through the last of his branch. "If you go, what's between us is over."

  "Just like that," he said, biting hard on each word.

  "Just like that," she repeated.

  He raked a hand through his hair, then gripped the back of his neck to still its shaking."Okay. We understand each other." He headed toward the phone on his night table.

  "What are you doing?" she asked, and for the first time since this baffling exchange began, he heard hesitation in her voice. A thought struck him—a Josephine Doucet-inspired thought.

  "I'm about to make plane reservations."

  "You're going then."

  "I'm going and I won't be back." He wrote some numbers on a piece of paper. "If you don't call me at this number within two weeks, I'll call you in Seattle. While I'm gone, I suggest you and your mother have a heart-to-heart about the opposite sex. You both could do with a refresher course."

  "This has nothing to do with my mother," she snapped.

  "In a pig's eye, it doesn't. Whatever happened between you two last night has everything to do with it, and only the two of you can work it out. While you're at it you might give that brother of yours a call. It wouldn't hurt you to mend a few fences."

  She opened her mouth and closed it again, suddenly looking agitated. "I don't want you to call me. You broke your con—"

  He told her what she could do with her contract and strode to where she stood at the foot of his bed. He took her chin in his hand. "The kind of contract I have in mind for us, Simone, covers a lifetime—and it has lots of freedom clauses to allow you to lead your life and me to lead mine. If you can think of a better way to prove you love someone, let me know."

  In an abrupt movement, she pulled her chin from his hand and walked toward the door to her room. Once there, she turned to face him. "Don't call me in Seattle, Blue, just don't."

  "Do you really want me to agree to that?" he challenged.

  She stared at him, as if considering his question, but didn't answer. Instead, she turned, walked into her room, and closed the door.

  Damn, stubborn woman. Maybe she was right. Maybe he shouldn't call. No man in his right mind would.

  He reached for the phone and booked the first flight out of London. If he couldn't have Simone, he sure as hell wasn't about to lose Moonlight Island. The thought no sooner entered his mind when he knew what a poor trade-off that would be.

  * * *

  Simone sat at her desk in the library and complimented herself. It had been two days since Blue left, and she'd coped. She'd spent the time trying up loose ends for Anjana, wanting to leave everything in the best order possible. She owed that much to Josephine. And it had kept her occupied.

  Maybe she wasn't sleeping well, or eating much. Temporary stress, she told herself, perhaps even sexual deprivation. She was human after all, and Blue had been an extraordinary lover. He made her feel so—

  She stood abruptly and dropped her pen. She picked it up from under her chair and sat down again as if she'd forgotten why she'd stood in the first place.

  She didn't want to think about Blue. As for his calling her once she was back in Seattle, she would simply dump Thomas Bludell into the abyss of modern communication. He could leave messages on her voice mail until the day after forever; she wouldn't answer them. That's what Josephine would do.

  Simone stood again, this time moving to the open window behind her desk. She hadn't yet called her mother and couldn't figure out why. Every time she'd tried to pick up the phone it was as though she were paralyzed. Blue was gone, Josephine would want to know that, know that she'd been right all along.

  But was she? Was this grim misery right? This gnawing pain in her heart? Was a life without Blue right? Was it even bearable?

  Simone leaned her head against the window frame and stared into the garden. He should have stayed. The next thought smothered that one. I was an idiot. A stupid insecure idiot. I shouldn't have asked him to stay. I should have—

  The phone on her desk rang. Simone was grateful for the interruption. Her mind didn't have space enough for Josephine and Blue without tripping the off switch.

  "Well, darling, looks like you really blew it with Blue—if you'll pardon the atrocious pun."

  "Nolan! How are you?"

  "Perfect—if you exclude the cast and shoulder brace. The question is, how are you?"

  Simone forced a smile into her voice. "I'm fine. Actually I've wrapped up most everything here. I'm thinking of coming back early."

  "Blue told me about Hallam. The man sounds like bad news. No doubt he'll find another sucker."

  At the mention of Blue's name, her stomach muscles tightened. "I don't think so. At least not until he cleans up his mess. I've left the information we received on Hallam Industries with our attorney here. I've suggested he pass it along to the British regulatory authorities."

  "Good for you."

  Simone reclaimed her seat at the desk and added. "I resigned from Anjana, Nolan."

  "What took you so long?" he said, without a shred of surprise, adding, "What are you going to do?"

  "I have some plans. We'll talk when I get back to Seattle."

  "Fair enough." He paused. "Now to the important stuff—what happened between you and Blue?"

  She considered evading the question, but knew, with Nolan, it wouldn't work. "We started something we couldn't finish."

  "Oh, please... I don't believe that. Neither of you are quitters."

  A thought came to Simone. "Nolan, you didn't set us up, did you?"

  He laughed. "
No. I love you both, but not enough to plunge down a flight of stairs. The idea of you two singing a duet didn't occur to me until the painkiller wore off. I suppose Josephine hated him on sight. All that raging testosterone must have made her nervous."

  "She has reason to be nervous."

  "Maybe she does, but you don't. Blue's a good guy. Actually a great guy. A bit out of sorts at the moment, but he'll come around."

  "You've seen him?" Her heart skidded.

  "Last night, for about an hour. He was in Seattle to see his lawyer. I don't know who's making him more crazy, you or the old guy he's trying to buy his damned island from. I think if his dad's ashes weren't there, he'd tell him to take a hike."

  "His father's ashes are there—on Moonlight Island?" Why hadn't he told her? Perhaps he would have, if she'd given him a chance. Simone's heart lurched when she remembered her selfish ultimatum.

  "Uh-huh. Blue and his dad used to go there all the time when Blue was growing up, to fish, sometimes camp. Mr. Bludell loved the place, having his ashes scattered there was his last wish."

  "I didn't know," she said, her voice trembling. "Blue didn't tell me it was that important to him."

  "I'm not surprised. I think Blue still has trouble talking about his dad. He was all he had, except for a distant uncle somewhere. They were tight, you know. Had the kind of relationship every kid dreams of having with a parent. Thomas senior was a special man." Nolan lapsed into silence.

  So is his son. Simone pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and took a calming breath, not daring to speak. Her mind reeled back to Harper, her frantic efforts to own him, to keep him with her. She'd done the same thing with Blue, made the same stupid mistake as a woman that she'd made as an inexperienced girl. For a moment her heart felt as though it would burst from her chest. Her head thrummed from the realization of how idiotic—how totally unfair—she'd been. She'd issued Blue an ultimatum in the same way her mother had issued one to her.

  "Simone? You there?"

  "Uh-huh."

  "Look, I don't mean to poke my nose in, and you know I'm not one to give advice, but—"