by S. E. Weir
“Phina…” Alina sounded both curious and cautious. “How did you reach out to me? There wasn’t a message or anything from you. I checked.”
Phina shook her head, not wanting to admit to her best friend how different she was now. After the incidents with Alina and Link, reading minds felt like a breach of privacy, and she didn’t want her friends to feel afraid that she would intrude whenever she felt like it.
She felt a hand touching her arm and turned her head to see Alina looking at her with concern. “Phina, it’s us. We haven’t been able to talk to you for over a year and a half.” Her eyes began tearing as she bit her lip. “Please, Phina.”
Phina turned and wrapped her arms around Alina, who clung to her and cried. Phina’s eyes teared up too, and she focused on holding her best friend and reassuring her that she was here with her.
After a few minutes, Alina lifted her head and began wiping the tears away. “I look a mess.”
Phina shook her head and wiped her own eyes with the backs of her hands. “Shush, you. You look beautiful.” She looked closer at Alina and took in her appearance, smiling. “Yup, like a damp squib, but totally and completely gorgeous. Even more so than the last time I saw you.”
Alina squawked as she pulled away and smacked Phina in the arm, which curiously, she barely felt. Phina saw Maxim was hiding chuckles.
Thankfully, Alina had missed it. “What! I am not a damp squib!”
Phina grinned. “Trust you to focus on that part rather than being completely gorgeous.”
Alina smiled briefly before looking at Phina in concern. “You're okay? I can't believe you’re walking around! Were you sparring before we came in?” She looked at Phina accusingly. “You couldn't have waited one day?”
Phina sighed and rubbed her neck. “I needed to do something while I sorted things in my head. You know it's easier for me to do that when I'm moving and doing something. It's been… There's…” She remembered what Todd had told her about keeping her emotions in and that it was better to share her pain with friends.
She shook her head and took a breath before looking at Alina with her unguarded pain and heartbreak shown clearly. “It's been a year and a half for you, Alina. But for me, it's been a muddy mix of blankness with snatches of semi-awareness. While you guys lost me for a year and a half, I lost everything for a year and a half. Completely, suddenly, with no warning and no time to adjust. I don't know what I'm doing yet. I’m just reacting and trying to process everything.”
Alina reached out and hugged Phina again. “I'm so sorry, Phina. I shouldn't have jumped all over you.”
Phina pulled her arm out from where it was stuck between them and carefully squeezed Alina. “It's okay, Alina. I should have asked ADAM to let you know since I didn’t have my tablet.”
Her friend pulled back and smiled, her eyes determined. She stood a half-inch taller than Phina, which meant for once she hadn’t bothered to put on her crazy high heels. “Phina, please tell me what you meant about trying to reach out to me.”
Phina slumped, a strand of hair falling out of her braid. She leaned her head on Alina’s shoulder. “I don’t want you to hate me or be scared of me.”
Alina gently pushed Phina away so she could see her face. “Hey. That would never happen. I wouldn’t and couldn’t hate you. I’m scared for you, not of you. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Phina glanced at Maxim, feeling awkward. He stood a few feet away, looking tall, masculine, and concerned. Phina could see why he appealed to Alina. She cared about him being her friend, although Alina’s friendship trumped everyone else’s. “If you’re certain.”
Her friend frowned. “Phina.”
Raising her hands, Phina nodded. “Sorry, just…making sure. You can’t unknow once you know, you know?”
Alina nodded solemnly, her eyes twinkling in amusement. “I know.”
Phina sighed and looked away. “Since I woke up, it’s been relatively easy to slip into other people’s minds. When I wanted to know where you were, my mind reached out to you.”
Alina looked surprised but not shocked or disgusted, which relieved Phina. “Well, why didn’t you say something?” She grinned, though she also looked concerned. “It might have startled me, but it would have been a relief to hear you!”
Phina’s cheeks grew warm. “Well, you were busy at the time.” She glanced at Maxim. Alina’s mouth opened and closed like a fish as she tried to recover from her surprise. Finally, Alina looked at Maxim and burst out laughing. He gave her a shrug but grinned.
“Well… That must have been awkward.” Alina laughed another full minute, holding a hand to her chest to contain her laughter. “Phina, it’s fine. I don’t think we would want it to happen all the time.” She snorted another chuckle. “I’m not going to be mad if you slip up accidentally.”
She nudged Phina. “It would probably bother you more than it would me, honestly.” Alina sighed and wrapped her arms around Phina, giving her another big hug. “I missed you so much, Phina. It was like my arm was cut off and a piece of my heart missing.”
Phina relaxed against Alina, hugging her tightly. “I’m here now. I’m sorry it took so long.”
Alina hugged her for another minute, then pulled back and smiled brightly. “Phina, we’ve been waiting, hoping you would wake up soon. I’m so happy you are! I’ve got something super exciting to share with you and ask you.”
Phina tilted her head to see Maxim’s fond smile as he watched Alina. His eyes shone with something that took Phina a minute or two to recognize as she hadn’t seen it since her parents died—love. What would it be like to love someone that much? Her musing was interrupted as she jolted at Alina’s excitement.
“Phina, would you be my maid of honor?” Alina’s smile glowed with happiness as she turned toward Maxim with a blinding grin. “We’re getting married!”
Chapter Six
QBBS Meredith Reynolds, Holding Area
Phina cautiously stepped up to the guarded doors and showed her ID. “I should be on the list to see Faith Rochelle.”
The serious guard took her ID and placed it on his tablet. He scanned the screen for a moment before nodding and looking up, his eyes solemn as he handed the ID back to her.
“Head to the right. A guard will escort you.”
She thanked him and put her ID away as she stepped into the hall. A second guard opened the door for her with a nod. “This way, ma’am.”
Phina blinked at the address and glanced down at her black pants and t-shirt to make sure she wasn’t having an out-of-body experience. Sadly, her jacket didn’t quite fit right anymore given the changes in her body, so Alina was making a new one for her with some additional spy-approved features.
As the guard escorted her, Phina decided to face facts. She was nervous and trying to find things to distract herself. She had no idea what state she would find her aunt in. Enraged? Bitter? Remorseful?
She sighed as the guard opened another door for her. Maybe she should have waited another few days before seeing her aunt. Phina wanted to do this and get it done so she could move on. Maybe with some semblance of closure, though she wasn’t counting on it.
After stepping through the door, Phina paused at seeing her aunt sitting on the other side of a table with her head down. She wore simple, plain clothing that she wouldn’t have been caught dead in before, and while her hair was neatly combed, it wasn’t styled or shaped.
Phina walked over to sit in the chair that had been placed there for her. Once she had settled in her seat, her aunt looked up with a resigned expression.
Faith did a surprise double-take at seeing her there. “Phina!”
She attempted to remain impassive. “Hello, Aunt Faith. Are you surprised to see me alive?”
Faith’s brow furrowed in confusion, revealing deeper lines on her face that hadn’t been there before. “What? Why would I be surprised about anything except that you are here? They wouldn’t tell me what was going on, and they have refuse
d all my requests to see you!”
Phina’s eyebrows rose at the news that everyone had kept her aunt ignorant. She felt comforted knowing they were protecting her. “Yeah. Surprise. Being in a coma for a year and a half will do that.”
Her aunt’s eyes widened in disbelief. “A coma? For a year and a half?” She frowned. “What doctors were in charge that it took that long? And what have you gotten yourself into that you’ve been in a coma? Were you doing something dangerous?”
Phina clenched her jaw and slammed her hand on the table, which caused her aunt to jump. “Stop! Just...stop! I can’t believe you are acting like nothing is wrong and things are the same as they’ve always been!”
She leaned toward her aunt, who felt more like a stranger, both hurt and anger rising. “Did you or did you not give me a serum with altered nanocytes?”
Faith looked like she didn’t know how to take Phina’s outburst, whether to be confused or offended or upset. “Well, yes. I told them this months ago when they brought me here. Haven’t they told you anything?”
Phina’s shoulders sagged as the emotion drained out of her, leaving her feeling weary and sad. She shook her head. “Of course they did. I wanted to hear it from your mouth. What I need to know is why. They said you would only tell me about it, though I’m sure the Empress knows anyway.”
“The Empress is why!” Faith burst out. “She’s got super-advanced nanocytes that we aren’t allowed to work with, but I know about them. There’s no way she got the abilities she has from the nanocytes they gave us. It doesn’t work that way. I tried every test I could think of, and those nanocytes aren’t the same.”
Phina frowned and shook her head in confusion. “What does the Empress have to do with giving me nanocytes?”
Faith leaned forward, her eyes not quite focusing as she waved her hands in the air. “Because she can do all those things to protect herself, and she’s survived things no one else could! Have you seen the history of everything that happened on Earth? That happened since? Do you not understand that living here is dangerous? That following her to hell and back will get people killed? People like my brother and my Simon and your mom?”
Her eyes turned both angry and shattered. “Why shouldn’t we have the same protection the Empress has? You weren’t being careful with yourself, and I had to do something to make sure you would live! So, I adjusted the nanocytes to make you powerful like the Empress is, so you would be able to protect yourself and not die like our family. They were everything to me, and then they were gone! I couldn’t stand it if I lost you too, Phina. I couldn’t stand anything else!”
Phina closed her eyes against her aunt’s tear-stricken face and leaned her head in her hand, attempting to push through the swirling thoughts. She shook her head and wiped her hand down her face. She looked down at the table. “You wanting to protect me is interesting because I haven’t felt protected by you for a long time now. In fact, I felt like I had to protect myself, and I was doing that just fine before you stuck your serum in me.”
Phina glanced at her aunt, who looked at her like she didn’t understand. “What in heaven’s name do you mean by that?”
Phina sighed and stood up, pushing the chair in like her aunt had taught her to do. She crossed her arms and stared at Faith, who looked at her anxiously between darting glances at the door.
She didn’t want to, but Phina felt like she needed to know if her aunt was telling the truth. She cautiously and reluctantly opened her shields.
She immediately knew the guard’s thoughts, which alternated between pity and lasciviousness; the thoughts of the guards, administrators, and prisoners in the surrounding area. Her senses extended beyond that and she pulled them in, using her will and determination to focus on her aunt.
Moments later, she slammed the shields shut, her breathing quickening with the effort to shut out the overwhelming amount of information. She shook her head, her lips pressed tight in her effort to refrain from saying anything she would regret as she processed it all.
Finally, Phina quietly responded. “I mean that I would have died from the serum you used. I was in a coma because you messed up the coding. The nanocytes you gave me were faulty and my body couldn’t cope with the changes you decided I should have, and it shut down. You wanted me to be able to protect myself and live? Congratulations. I will. But it wasn’t because of your actions. It was Bethany Anne and my friends, even Maxim, who you dislike so much, who did everything they could to save me from the situation you put me in.”
Faith’s eyes widened in shock as she sputtered. “But...but…I..”
Phina lifted her hand as she swallowed the emotion that was beginning to surge again. “I don’t need you to respond. Thank you for taking care of me when I was younger and the times you actually tried when I was older. I don’t expect to see you again and wanted to make sure you knew that.”
She turned and walked to the door. The guard standing next to it looked like he had decided pity won out.
“Phina!” her aunt burst out in anger. Her tone turned to a plea when she kept walking. “I did it for you, Phina! I did it for you!”
Phina stopped in the doorway and turned to look at her aunt, who was broken inside mentally and slowly dying physically. She had taken an earlier serum that was less powerful so the burnout rate was slower and could still be months away, but that didn’t change that without intervention, Aunt Faith would soon be gone.
Phina shook her head, “No. I know you believe that, Aunt Faith, but you’re wrong. You did it for you.”
She continued out, absently nodding to the guards when she passed by. Her thoughts turned to the people who had acted on her behalf because they were afraid she would die. She realized that there was a fundamental difference in her friends and chosen family’s response as opposed to Aunt Faith.
Her friends shared their concerns with her and tried to convince and even control her to a degree, such as Link had before her coma. However, in the end, they accepted Phina’s choices even when it was difficult. Link had admitted that he had been wrong.
Her aunt had taken the decision away from Phina by giving her the serum without involving her in the process. Aunt Faith had not admitted she had been wrong, a behavior that had always driven Phina crazy in the past. It still bothered her, but she realized that the hold her aunt had on her was greatly lessened. She didn’t feel hung up.
Hmm... Maturity due to age, though she didn’t remember the last couple of years? Or was it due to the processing she had done the last couple of days?
Shaking her head, Phina pulled out her tablet and tapped out a message.
A— I wanted to tell you that I’m always in your corner and love that you guys are getting married. Seriously. You two are so great together. Let me know anything I need to do as your maid of honor. — P
QBBS Meredith Reynolds, Diplomatic Institute, Anna Elizabeth’s Office
“Welcome back, Phina!”
Phina blinked, her eyes growing misty at seeing the same elegant and warm smile from Anna Elizabeth that she had remembered from before her coma. Since she had awakened, she had been astounded to realize how much things had changed, both in the lives of her friends and on the station. Seeing things that remained the same gave her reassurance and comfort. Especially after the visit with her aunt.
Anna glided across the room with her hands outstretched and a glowing smile. She clasped Phina’s hands then pulled her into a hug before pulling back, her eyes bright. “I’m so happy to see you out of that awful coma. We all rushed to see you when we heard you were coming out of it and were surprised to see you leaving so quickly. How are you doing, Phina? Are you well?”
Phina found holding Anna’s gaze difficult. She hesitated and let her gaze drift, her eyes catching on the other occupant of the room who smiled in welcome. Returning Jace’s smile, Phina nodded, then looked at her boss and teacher. “I’m doing well enough. It still feels unreal. I keep expecting things to be the same, and when they ar
en’t, it’s a jolt.”
Anna nodded in understanding, her expression compassionate and reassuring. “It’s all right, Phina. Shocks take time to work through. Braeden and Sis’tael, as well as Drk-vaen and Ryan, will be back within the next two weeks so you will see them soon.” She gently squeezed Phina’s hand one more time, then withdrew to walk around her desk. She sat down, steepling her fingers. “Now, what are your thoughts and plans for the future? Do you still want to continue through the program here?”
Alarm shot through her, though she did her best to suppress it. “Is… Is that okay? Was I kicked out of the Institute?” A thought drifted through her mind and she quietly ventured, “Did Greyson take someone else to mentor?”
Surprise drifted across Anna’s face. “As far as I know, Greyson still considers you his trainee. Didn’t you speak to him about this ?”
Phina shifted her weight uneasily, her favorite boots reassuring her even though they were only footwear. Anything familiar was a comfort. “I haven’t spoken to him since shortly after I woke up.”
Shock caused Anna’s eyes to widen as her lips moved soundlessly. After a moment, she recovered with a small frown of concern. “I'm surprised to hear that. Greyson was quite distraught about your condition. He requested to take fewer duties so he would be available for you when you came around.”
Phina’s eyebrows drew in with confusion. Link had asked for fewer duties so he could be there when she came out of the coma, yet the first thing he did was to accuse her of lying and not believe her? Something didn't add up. She was speculating on the possibilities when she realized someone was speaking to her.
“I'm sorry, could you say that again?”
Anna Elizabeth gave her a patient but admonishing look. “I am wondering if you are still interested in completing your studies.”
Phina’s thoughts scattered and came together several times. She finally realized that this was an opportunity to freely choose rather than be reactive to circumstances. She opened her mouth to respond, then hesitated. What did she want?
