Pretty in Punxsutawney

by Laurie Boyle Crompton

  “Yeah, you should come!” the least-blonde blonde named Casey says with so much enthusiasm, it’s as if she thinks I’m a whole football team in need of encouragement. She even punches both arms in the air for emphasis.

  I shake my head. Spending the evening at some house party with a bunch of cheerleaders doesn’t sound like very good use of my time. “I can’t, but that’s cool you guys all hang out together.”

  “Well, it’s good to give back,” Casey says, which is a strange thing to say about going to a house party. I haven’t met anyone named Maya yet, but she must not be very popular if everyone here acts like going to her house for a party is some form of charity.

  Casey bounces off, literally, and I ask Tammy, “What got you into cheerleading in the first place?”

  “To be completely honest? I thought it would make me more popular.” She twists back and forth with her hands on her hips.

  Jayce walks over, falls into a split, and begins stretching. “That and you’re a crazy-good gymnast.”

  Tammy folds herself neatly in half, hugging her straightened knees. “Yeah, that too.”

  I glance at Jacynda, who is now arching backward, the top of her head nearly touching her back leg. “So, I guess joining the squad worked. I mean, you guys seem pretty popular.”

  As if to emphasize this point, and right on schedule, a group of guys walks by the doorway calling, “Hey, girls,” and, “Yo, Jayce,” and, “Looking good.” The girls don’t react.

  “We stopped caring.” Tammy stands and calmly turns to me. “It’s nice to be liked, but we learned pretty quick that most people think cheerleaders aren’t much more than football player arm candy.”

  “We’re part of a real sisterhood,” Jayce adds. “We’re here for each other.”

  “Sweat is thicker than water,” Tammy says. “We all push each other and practice hard.”

  “Yeah,” Casey chimes in. “Not all of us can just pick up new routines as fast as you can, Andie.”

  “The matching skirts are cute.” Tammy gives hers a flip. “But we’re bonded by our commitment to become the best squad we can possibly be.”

  I look around and realize that she’s right. These girls come here every day after school, push back the tables of the cafeteria because the basketball team practices in the gym, and together they work on their routines, day in and day out. This goes deeper than wearing cute skirts.

  “From the top,” Tammy calls out, and even though I’ve practiced these moves more than anyone, everybody groans at this repetitiveness. “Ready? OKAY!” At her perky countdown, we all automatically move into formation, and I realize why people play team sports.

  Connecting with a group and trying to do something really well together can make anyone feel less alone. Even someone as fundamentally alone as me.

  Finally, it’s time to execute my plan. From one of Mom’s massive clothing bins, I dig out a vintage cheerleading skirt and top for this first day of school. I secure my hair into a high ponytail and add a looping ribbon that matches my yellow-and-maroon uniform. Mom acts supportive despite seeming confused by my new look. As I said, she did witness what’s known as the Great Zumba Debacle. But Colton nods approvingly when he sees the way I’m dressed.

  “I didn’t know you were into cheerleading,” he says as he helps me into his car.

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I say teasingly and think, A whole lot.

  At school, Colton gives me the usual tour, and as we get to the gym, the cheerleaders accost us, oohing over my outfit and asking if I’m trying out for the squad. I look at Colton and shrug. “I have a move or two.” Casually, I ask, “What kind of routine are you gals working on?”

  “Well, I’ll be teaching a tryout routine tonight,” Tammy says. “It goes a little something like this . . .”

  She calls out, “Ready? OKAY!” and the three of them move into an aggressive V formation. Music starts up from somewhere, and the trio begins to move to the beat, performing the routine I’ve been working to learn this whole time.

  “So, I guess you’re saying it goes something like this?” I smile at Colton as I move into position beside the girls and start punching my arms to the beat, joining right in.

  Everyone freezes in amazement as I nail the routine. Even a couple walking past the open gym doors slows down to watch me perform. I kill every move . . . right up to the point where I stumble while trying to execute a very complicated kick into a split and end up falling on my tush. When I jump back up, my mind goes completely blank and I stand in an awkward pose, waving spirit fingers and grinning like a fool.

  The following day, I make it successfully through the whole routine.

  I do so well that when the music stops, Tammy asks me, “How much time are you willing to devote to cheerleading?”

  I shrug. “I’ve got all the time in the world. Why?”

  “We pick one of our co-captains based on leadership ability and the other based on natural talent. You could easily be in the running for talent if you’re interested.”

  I look at Colton and he smiles at me. “Oh yeah, Andie is absolutely interested in that.” He turns to Tammy. “As co-captain of the football team, I’ll even vouch for her.”

  I blush. “I’m sure there are other girls who are more qualified. I’ll just be happy to make it onto the squad.”

  “Oh, you’ll make it onto the squad all right,” Tammy says. “You picked this up so fast, I can’t wait to see what you come up with on your own.”

  Casey chimes in, “Hey, yeah. That’s a great idea. Let’s see what else you can do.”

  With a big, fake smile, I launch back into the same routine we just did, and the energy in the gym drops off dramatically.

  I slump away. That afternoon, after Kaia snags Colton for the umpteenth time, I grab Tammy during cheerleading practice and begin the long, slow process of having her help me come up with something completely original.

  It feels like it takes forever, and meanwhile I’ve memorized every single sneeze and sneaker-squeak that happens each school day. I know what everyone is going to say before they say it, and I especially know precisely where Colton is every moment of the day.

  One morning, just for kicks, I wear my comfy flannel jammies to school, which of course inspires Tom to talk to me.

  “Just not feeling the day?” he asks me with a grin in homeroom. His tone makes it clear he thinks wearing flowered pajamas for the first day of school is the ultimate in cool behavior.

  I hug myself. “I was all snuggly and didn’t want to leave my house.”

  Tom laughs. “So this was the compromise you came up with?”

  I smile and nod. “I drew the line at bringing along my pillow, but it was a difficult sacrifice.”

  “You are a surprising girl, Andie.” Tom smiles appreciatively and clears his throat. “Plus, you have great taste in jammies.”

  I surprise myself then, feeling a blush rising. It must just be the heavy flannel material, but my voice is the tiniest bit horse when I tell him, “Thanks.”

  Nobody else seems to share Tom’s positive view on my jammie-wear. Even his oddly dressed friends give me a wide berth as I walk down the hallway. In fact, nearly everyone avoids me on pajama day, and I’m happy Colton will have zero recollection of me in this outfit.

  His level of popularity dictates that he really shouldn’t be seen with me wearing head-to-slippers flowered flannel, but he’s very sweet and even gives me a chaste hug before lunch. I think he can tell that I need it.

  Of course, he still turns around and falls for Kaia, same as always.

  At last, my dance routine is ready, and I don my cheerleading skirt once more. When Casey chimes in with her usual, “Yeah, let’s see what you’ve got,” I bust a move so hard I render everyone speechless.

  I’m executing dance moves from every decade, including a pop and lock sequence that ends in a breakdance head spin that, well, makes everyone’s heads spin. A crowd begins to gather a
s I shake my butt like that’s what it was made for. Hours and hours and hours of hard work and dance video tutorials are all melting together in one mind-blowing dance routine. As I swing and kick and twist, someone in the audience starts clapping to my rhythm. Others join in, and the echoes of the beat shake the bleachers.

  The energy of the crowd rises until my insides are soaring.

  I end with a backflip into a full split, and grin as the whole gymnasium breaks into roaring applause. Colton is looking at me with stars in his eyes, and I can feel it. This will be the day he falls in love with me. I’m getting my first kiss, I’m sure of it.

  Word of my performance spreads like wildfire throughout the school. Suddenly I’m known as the redheaded cheer master. By the time English class rolls around, even Tom knows about my new reputation. He says, “I heard you really knocked the socks off everyone in the gym this morning. I had no idea you were a killer dancer.”

  I’ve learned from experience that engaging with Tom reduces my chances with Colton. It might be some sort of inverse probability factor that is beyond my mathematical ability to grasp. Or it could be the fact that Colton doesn’t like Tom being his boss at the theater, or maybe it’s just some basic high school popularity algorithm. But even though everything is riding on today, I can’t help but smile at Tom now. “Guess I’m just full of surprises.”

  Tom smiles back. “Especially since you came off like such a klutz at the theater this summer.”

  “Well, it made for a decent meet-cute anyway, didn’t it?”

  “It definitely did do that,” Tom says, and I detect a small bite of bitterness in his voice.

  My mind wings back to that first day at the theater. I remember Tom’s eyes going wide when I shoved that first handful of malted milk balls into my mouth. I picture him covering his mouth with his hand, and wonder for the first time if he and I could’ve been headed for a meet-cute of our own. Once Colton showed up, I didn’t really give Tom another thought.

  Thinking of Colton gives me a surge of happiness over how well things went this morning. My plan has been going flawlessly, and I have our next encounter already mapped out in my mind, down to the smallest detail.

  If I really want to seal that lip lock, all I need to do is avoid any uncertain factors for the rest of the day. Again, I think back to cramming my mouth full of Whoppers and the look of surprise on Tom’s face. I should probably steer clear of Tom for the rest of today just to be safe and keep everything predictable. Tom has a way of catching me off guard.

  For the first time ever, Colton is the one who suggests the two of us meet outside in the courtyard for lunch. I’ve been resorting to locking the doors behind us as well as positioning myself so that Colton can’t see Kaia pounding on the glass. I’ve even perfected the act of timing cute little kitten sneezes to cover up the sound of her knocking.

  The best part about this tactic is that Colton thinks my little sneezes are adorable, and he always says “bless you” in a high-pitched voice that makes us both laugh. Of course, I’ve made the mental note to never sneeze for real in front of him, since my actual sneezes are earsplitting and borderline violent.

  I manage to execute my lunchtime interaction flawlessly, and throughout the day I respond to every one of our exchanges just right. By the time the final bell rings, Colton asks me, “So, you ready to get out of here?”

  “You’re driving me home?” I try to sound cool about it, but I’m sort of freaking out inside. I feel like the moment I’ve been working toward for an eternity is finally happening. I’m getting back inside that Honda Element and changing my destiny.

  “I’m happy to drop you at home, unless you’d like to head someplace else. The mall, maybe?”

  I don’t know what mysteries the Punxsutawney Mall may hold in store, but I do know that heading anywhere with Colton beats the insane level of monotony that is waiting for me at home.

  “The mall sounds great.” Down the hallway, I see Kaia moving toward us with a look of determination on her face. “Let’s go!” I practically shove Colton out the door.

  “Oh, wait, I forgot.” He stops, and Kaia moves even closer. “Don’t you have cheerleading practice after school?”

  I want to scream in frustration. I have spent way too much of my never-ending life in that practice room. And now Kaia is nearly upon us. “I think I’m good,” I say. “I mean, I know the routine already. I’ll just pick up where they leave off tomorrow.”

  Colton looks skeptical, and I know I am risking blowing things with him right now, but I seriously need to get him out of Kaia’s range if I ever hope to get my first kiss and break myself out of this endless time loop.

  This is still, technically, the first day of school, but I’m so sick of it that I’m ready for the holiday break. And that’s not getting any dang closer.

  Finally, I manage to throw Kaia off Colton’s scent by angling so she can see me put my hand on his shoulder. I seductively lean into him as if I’m whispering something private and personal into his ear. She stops and stares a moment before turning on her heel to leave.

  Colton is looking at me expectantly, and I realize I haven’t said anything to him. I smile while trying to think fast. Finally, in a low voice, I say, “Maybe after we go to the mall, we can hit a movie, just you and me.”

  He wrinkles his nose. “Tom’s working tonight, so we’d have to pay full price for our tickets. Seems nuts, don’t you think? Maybe this weekend?”

  I would give anything for it to be the weekend. Two new movies are being released that I’ve had my eye on for a very long time. One of my favorite young actors, who’s nearly as good-looking as Colton, is starring in a romantic comedy, plus there’s a big-budget action flick that, according to early reviews, hits every emotional note perfectly.

  Mom and Dad always say I have an uncanny ability to predict what’s going to happen next in movies. But it’s usually easy to anticipate what’s coming if you’ve seen as many films as I have in my lifetime. And knowing what’s coming doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy watching it unfold.

  But as I climb into Colton’s car, I must admit that not knowing what’s coming next feels pretty good for a change. For the first time in a very long while, I’m heading into new and unknowable territory.

  And to be perfectly honest, I cannot wait to see what happens.

  chapter 9

  The mall looks nothing like it did the one time I came here with my mother over the summer. On that day, it was basically empty, with only a few scattered gaggles of girls wearing flip-flops and an elderly couple speed-walking together in their thick, white sneakers.

  Now, it’s packed due to what appears to be a ritual of congregating in various social groups to celebrate the first day of school ending. Please, please, please let it really be ending.

  I’m guarded as Colton leads me toward the food court, watching for Kaia or anything that could thwart me from reaching the target that’s been placed on Colton’s lips. If I remember correctly, my archnemesis has mentioned plans for the mall after school on several occasions, so depending on whatever version of a day she’s had, there’s a decent chance she’ll be here.

  At least she’s not here with Colton this time.

  “Hey, Tom,” Colton says as we pass Tom and his colorful crew.

  The kid from the lunchroom—the one who seemed interested in Petra yesterday, or today, or a year ago—adjusts his yellow suspenders and smiles awkwardly. He’s standing next to Tom, whose gaze follows Colton and me as we walk by. Thinking of our meet-cute discussion earlier, I place my hand on the crook of Colton’s arm in a way that shows he and I are together and I’m happy about it.

  Tom turns back to Suspenders Boy with a furrowed brow, and I wonder what they’re discussing so intently.

  “Here we are. Care for Szechwan?” Colton gestures to the Chinese food place in front of us, and I remember how much he likes girls to have an appetite. I’ve been adding our lemon squares and cheese puffs at the same time Colton ge
ts our pizza, so I’m seriously not at all hungry.

  “I’ll just have a little rice,” I tell him, hoping that might soak up some of the pizza grease, sugar, and orange cheese dye #9 from earlier. I could honestly just go for a nice long nap about now.

  I wonder for a moment if taking a nap will reset the whole day, and make a mental note to try it. Then I realize that I may not need to. This could be my last time through the cycle—if I can only get Colton to kiss me before the day ends.

  With a hearty nod, I follow him over to the food counter. He orders for us, but he’s still in the process of paying when a guy comes swooping in behind us and violently grabs Colton around the neck. I scream.

  A few other very large guys join in, shoving and hitting my semi-boyfriend. They all start chanting, “Woodchucks. Woodchucks. Woodchucks!”

  And I finally recognize them as Colton’s teammates.

  I instinctively put both arms up to protect my head as they all beat each other on the backs and shoulders. Finally, Colton notices me and admonishes the group. “Hey there, easy, guys. Andie and I are grabbing a bite. Catch up with you later?”

  With a few friendly punches and one ringing heinie slap, the crowd moves on down the mall.

  “Hey, Motko,” Colton calls, and one of the guys turns and walks backward a few paces. “Make good choices.”

  Motko is tall and wiry, and he jerks his head quickly to the side to force the bangs out of his eyes before giving us a salute.

  Colton watches his team go before paying the bored-looking girl behind the counter who’s wearing a red hat made of paper. She slides him a tray piled high with chicken and rice. Carrying it, Colton finds us a table located off to one side of the food court. “How’s this?” he asks.

  “Looks great to me.” I smile, and the two of us sit down across from each other.

  Colton leans forward and starts digging in as if he hasn’t eaten in days. I marvel at the metabolism he must have to stay in such good shape.