Their Phoenix

by Charlie Hart

  But also, kissing is enough for me tonight–it was a big step, all of us giving into the idea of being together in such an intimate way. The fact they don’t push me farther, into something I’m not ready for, is a relief. For being such strong alpha males, they go against every stereotype.

  On the plush carpet of the hotel suite, my head rests against Sawyer’s chest, his fingers threading through my hair as our breath grows shallow, as our eyes close.

  I fall asleep, and the moment I do, I tumble into a dream that makes no sense. I try to open my eyes, but I can’t and I realize this isn’t a dream … it’s a vision of the past.

  It’s me as a little girl.

  And I swallow, watching myself, realizing I’m with my sister.

  The floorboards in the hallway creak and the smell of cinnamon and sage is in the air. Mom’s smell.

  “I want to play dress up,” the blonde girl says. “Let’s get Auntie and Mommy’s jewelry and try it on.”

  “No, Tenny, we aren’t supposed to.”

  “I want to, Lark,” she pouts. “Can’t we just have fun?”

  “It’s not fun to get in trouble,” I say, tucking my black hair behind my ears. I’m so small compared to her, and my dark eyes watch her with worry.

  “But I love trouble,” she says with a cheeky smile. “And Jonnie told me I should.”

  “You shouldn’t listen to ghosts, Tenny.”

  She frowns. “Why? They’re my best friends. You’re just jealous you can’t see them like I can.”

  “I’m not jealous. I like my talent just fine.”

  She smirks. “Seeing dead people is better than flying.”

  “It’s not really flying,” I say. “And we aren’t supposed to talk about what we can do, our mothers made us swear.”

  “Well, I’m tired of their rules.” Then she runs down the hallway toward my mother’s room. I follow her, wanting to keep up. And also scared of what she might get up to all alone.

  I find her in front of Mom’s dresser, pulling open a jewelry box.

  “We should go.” My voice sounds so small and full of worry. “We aren’t supposed to touch Mom’s things.”

  But she looks at me, eyes sparking. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

  And then she plucks a ring from the box–an antique looking gold band, carved from something ancient, with an embossed feather on the top. Her face gleams with excitement as she holds it in the palm of her hand.

  I wake with a start, my body drenched in sweat, my heart racing.

  My sister.

  Me.

  The memory seemed so real I could feel it. I was there, with her.

  We were together.

  Beside me, North stirs and sits up. “You okay?” he whispers.

  I shake my head, and look around. The other four men are still asleep. North reaches for my hand, and helps me stand.

  “Let’s get you a cool bath, you look flushed.”

  I nod, following him out of the living room and into the en suite bathroom. My hands still shake, and I sit on the closed lid of the toilet trying to gather my thoughts.

  North must sense how upset I am, because he runs the bath, giving me a moment of silence.

  “I think it’s ready,” he says. “I’ll get you a bottle of water.”

  I nod, grateful he thought to take care of me like this. He slips out of the room and I undress, and then dip my toes into the cool water. The temperature is perfect and I sink into the tub.

  “Is it okay to come in?” he asks softly.

  “Sure,” I say. My entire body is submerged but the water is clear. Still, I don’t feel modest, I want to be seen, heart, body and soul.

  He hands me the bottle and I thank him, taking a long sip. “Wanna talk about it?” he asks.

  Instead of answering, I submerge my head under water, desperate to find some sense in the vision.

  When I come back up, North is patiently waiting.

  I open my mouth, and tell him everything.

  13

  North

  I listen, devastated by her story. Her mother just cracked her heart open, left the wound raw.

  She needs time to heal.

  “Isn’t it strange though,” she asks, stepping from the now cold shower and into the plush white hotel robe I am holding out for her. “That I would have the vision of my sister tonight, after a lifetime of never seeing her?”

  “There is only one reason I can think of.”

  She cinches the belt on her waist. “What’s that?”

  “You said your mom placed protective spells on you every night, right?”

  “Yeah,” she says, running her fingers through her damp hair.

  “You didn’t go home tonight, Lark. You stayed here. With us.”

  She pulls in her bottom lip, biting on it. “What memories would she want to protect me from?”

  I pull her toward me, wrapping my arms around her tight. “Maybe it’s the memory of what happened to your sister?”

  She looks up at me. “You mean when I killed her?”

  “Supposedly.”

  “You think my mother might be lying?”

  “I don’t know your mom at all, Lark. I only know what you’ve told me. Do you think she’s a liar?”

  “She kept so much from me.”

  “Sometimes people keep the truth back to protect people, though,” I say.

  “Are you?” she asks, looking at me, pressing her hands to my chest. Doubt suddenly covers her delicate features. “Are you holding information back to protect me?”

  I clench my jaw. “Not to protect you, but so we don’t scare you away,” I tell her honestly.

  She steps away from me. “I’m tired of being treated like something breakable, North. I want you to see me as strong, capable.”

  “You can be strong and still be scared, Lark.”

  “You don’t think I’m strong. You think I’m a weak girl who needs strong men to watch over me. But I don’t, North.”

  She steps away from me, disappointed.

  I don’t pull her back, tell her the truth of what I am, what we are.

  She grabs her clothes, dressing silently. I can’t speak, scared to upset her even more.

  But as she leaves, I instantly regret it.

  Instead of running after her out the hotel, I run to the balcony, and leap from the edge. I shift to hawk form, and follow her home.

  I don’t want to scare her, and I know the truth of us will.

  14

  Lark

  I see a hawk circling overhead as I unlock the front door. At the sight of him my skin crawls with familiarity, but then I push the thought away. Mom warned me about the hawks … but then again, she warned me about a lot of things.

  She’s waiting for me in the living room, listening to one of her old records, cup of tea in her hand. She has a spread of tarot cards on the coffee table, and she stares at them intently.

  “You returned,” she says with a hush to her voice.

  “I’m tired,” I tell her, my hand already on the banister leading up stairs. I just want to pull my blankets over me and sleep.

  “What happened?” she asks.

  I swallow, not wanting to tell her about the vision. About seeing my sister. About memories resurfacing.

  “I’m going to bed.”

  She nods. She’s not stupid, she knows upset I’m with her.

  “Won’t you stay down here, listen to more of the story?” she asks.

  But I shake my head. “No, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. And why should I believe your words anyhow? You’ve fed me a lifetime of lies.”

  She calls for me, but shallow apologies can’t compete with the depths of my sorrow.

  My feet are on the stairs and I’m climbing, away from her. I can’t imagine a time where I would have had the desire to turn back.

  At rehearsal the next day I try to act natural. Like I’m not upset. But the guys seem to know I’m unhappy and are c
onstantly trying to ask if I’m okay.

  Last night North let me know he thinks I’m some breakable thing. But I’m not. I may not be the most worldly person, or have tons of life experience, but I got this show all on my own. I’m a fighter, and I know how to work hard.

  I may be small in stature, but I’m strong in heart.

  And maybe I haven’t shown them that side of me. They met me after I got the contract, they didn’t see me in training mode, when I worked twelve hours days practicing for five years straight.

  I need them to understand that, while I feel safe in their arms, I don’t need them to protect me. I don’t need some mythical Mother Earth telling them to take care of me.

  I won’t let them in if they don’t want to tell me their whole story, because I know they are holding something back.

  And the thing is, I can’t exactly hide how I feel when we’re forced to trust one another with every dance sequence that Melanie has prepared for us.

  “Okay, let’s take ten,” Melanie says after a few hours. She calls me over and asks what’s up.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re off. It’s not like you. I can tell you’re distracted.”

  I swallow. Am I so obvious? “A little. But I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. I’ve done enough shows to know that your head needs to be in the game 120% if this is going to work. And you’re head is in the clouds.”

  “I’ll sort it out,” I assure her, already overwhelmed at the prospect.

  “Listen, Lark. This is a massive, life changing opportunity. One you have worked toward for years. And you earned it. I know it’s a lot to absorb, but you need to get rid of any and every distraction in our life.”

  I twist my lips and my eyes flit over the guys who are getting water, stretching, grabbing some food from their bags.

  “Is it the crew?” she asks, following my gaze.

  I don’t answer.

  She sighs, shaking her head. “Don’t even think about, Lark. It will only lead to trouble. You need to be focused. This is your one shot.”

  “Right. No pressure.”

  Melanie isn’t having it though. “It’s not a game Lark. The casino has invested millions into this production. You can’t waste any of it over a few attractive men who you need to be in a working relationship with. You can date after the show. But right now, you need to–”

  I cut her off. “I get it. I need to keep my head in the game.”

  “Good. You understand.”

  I nod. “I do. This show means everything. Being on stage is one place I’ve always felt like I belong.”

  A thousand other dancers would kill for this opportunity. I won’t let the stories in my head distract me from my one and only goal.

  I know Melanie is right. And not just for me–the guys too. They were made to move.

  When I look across the room, watching as Vaughn and Arrow move with so much authority, soaring between bars and beams, it’s obvious they are in their element.

  My chest tightens when Brecken and Sawyer leap from their trapeze bars and glide to the floor–it’s the same way my heart is full when I step off the tightrope and corkscrew down twenty feet, only to be caught by North.

  Being in this show is not to be taken lightly.

  She gives a sigh of relief, obviously grateful that I am taking her advice. “Take risks after opening night. Not before.”

  After rehearsal, when Vaughn asks if I want to hang out, I tell him yes, but with everyone. Melanie’s words are fresh in my mind and I want to lay down the law before everything gets out of hand.

  15

  Arrow

  When Lark says she wants to hang out with all of us after rehearsal, I’m pleased. After she left the suite late last night I was terrified we’d fucked things up forever.

  Since it’s a perfectly sunny desert day, Lark suggests we get a drink out by the Spades Royale pool, and we’re all game. After all, we were all ready to be outside after hours of being stuck inside our practice space.

  The atmosphere poolside is a little wild, lots of hotel guests are here for the party vibe, and while it might not be something I’m used too, I look around and quickly assess that it is exactly what we all need.

  Today at rehearsal, things were tense. Lark left late last night after we all made out with her for hours. I thought we’d been finding a place with one another, but then she spoke with North in the bathroom and next thing I know, she’d left the suite upset.

  We got the truth out of him last night. He wouldn’t tell Lark the truth of what we are, and that pissed her off, and rightly so. She’s been lied to her whole life, the last thing she wants is a relationship with men who lie to her too.

  But North wasn’t trying to insinuate anything when he told her that we might scare her off. It’s something we’re all scared of and something Gaia specifically told us not to do.

  We sit at a table and order beers from a waitress who walks around in a tiny bikini. She may be beautiful, but she’s so not my type. Loud and flirty. I prefer a woman like Lark–she carries her confidence in a softer, more subtle way.

  Lark is clearly sexual, her body was warm and sensitive last night when we kissed: her body pressing against mine, her hands threading through my hair. Yet she also held restraint. It was alluring, her ability to practice patience. I know she’s never slept with anyone, but she isn’t pushing for it either. And that is incredibly attractive.

  “So, I spoke to Melanie today,” she starts.

  “Yeah?” Vaughn asks. “What about.”

  “About focus. And distractions.”

  I watch Sawyer lift an eyebrow, and since he’s sitting next to her, I see him run a hand over her arm. “What sort of distractions, little bird?”

  She bites her bottom lip. “Distractions like five cast mates who I can’t seem to stop thinking about.”

  The table gets quiet.

  “Melanie reminded me that this show is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I don’t want to mess it up by…”

  “By kissing us?” Brecken asks.

  Her cheeks heat up, and damn, I love it when they do. I know I’m not the joker of the group, or the playboy, but I watch people, observe them. And when I watch Lark her innocence makes my heart ache–it’s so damn beautiful.

  “Yeah. I mean … I can see her point. But also, after talking to North last night, I worry that none of you actually think I’m strong on my own. You think I’m in need of your protection. You think I can’t handle whatever you aren’t telling me.”

  “It’s not that,” I say, wishing I could lay it all out there. “I think you’re incredibly strong. You don’t just get a Vegas show by doing things half-assed. You’re strong and smart and incredibly talented.”

  “Then why hold back?”

  We all look at one another, as if debating how much to say.

  “It’s not so simple,” North tells her. She starts to speak, but he shakes her head and she stops, leans back, and listens. “We aren’t like regular people.”

  “I figured.”

  “You did?” Vaughn frowns.

  “You know, when you told me Mother Earth was your guardian angel I figured you weren’t regular guys. But I’m not a regular girl either, am I? You see me on the stage. I know what I do – what we all do–isn’t humanly possible. Heck, if we were focused, we could nail that show in another week. I know how talented we are. But what we possess … it isn’t just raw talent. It’s extraordinary.”

  “When you’re on stage, Lark, it’s more than human,” I tell her honestly. “But what is it?”

  She narrows her eyes. “I thought you guys were here to tell me what I am.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. Gaia only told us to protect you, she didn’t tell us what you are.” The sun beats down on us, and I wish we had a little shade–where we sit feels right out in the open. Our hearts on display.

  “But aren’t we the same?” she asks.

  I sw
allow the lump in my throat, and all us guys share a nervous look. Shit, we can’t hold back anymore if we want to keep her close. Not telling her now is going to push her away.

  I reach across the table and take her hand. “We’re not the same, Lark.”

  She lowers her chin. “Oh. I thought …”

  I see it in her eyes, what she thought. She thought that maybe, just maybe, this would be the way to answer at least some of her questions.

  Where she comes from.

  But I can’t tell her that. Because I haven’t a clue.

  Before I say any more, a woman in oversized black sunglasses and a straw hat stops at our table.

  “Hey, Lark,” she says. “Hi guys, I’m Emmy. I know Lark’s mom.”

  “Hello,” we all say in greeting. Lark though, is looking at this woman with starry eyes.

  “I was just leaving some friends, Jojo and Claire, and we saw you sitting here in the sun and thought you might like to use our private cabana.” She points to a large tent at the edge of the pool.

  Lark smiles up at her. “Oh wow, really?”

  “Of course, Lark. We’re leaving for the day. It’s all set up for you guys: drinks, swimwear, the whole nine yards. It’s like my personal pool house.” She gives us a little wave. “Okay kids, enjoy, okay?”

  “Thanks Emmy,” Lark says, watching her walk away.

  “Shall we, little dove?” Sawyer asks, already standing. He takes Lark’s hand in his and walks away.

  We follow, and once we enter the cabana, the breeze from a fan cools us right down. You can either raise the front panel of the tent or keep it down, as is. There are chaise lounges, a stocked bar, and a small changing area behind a screen.

  “Wow, fancy,” Vaughn says.

  “Yeah, I know, Emmy’s husband owns the hotel.”

  Sawyer nods. “I remember meeting them with you the other day.”

  I feel a pang of jealousy. I want to know everything about Lark, and it’s hard to know some of the other guys know more than me.