Addicted to Outrage

by Glenn Beck

  Knowing the facts of an issue or a situation arms you with the knowledge you need. I promise you, raising your voice louder than the other guy or writing increasingly clever insults is not a substitute for knowing the facts of an issue.

  There is another common factor found in every recovery program: If you’re serious about accomplishing your objective, at the very beginning you have to 7) Set realistic goals. No one stops drinking in one day. In fact, it probably is accurate to say I continue to stop drinking every day. While we celebrate years of sobriety, in AA we always take it one day at a time. We stop drinking; we don’t stop being alcoholics.

  That same way of thinking is true for all addictions. You aren’t going to change your behavior in a day or even a week. It’s a process of small steps that eventually add up to a new approach to the same old things. I don’t want to make the ultimate goal too big: I guess my immediate goal would be for us to not kill one another. That, I believe, is something we can easily accomplish.

  The real question you need to ask is what you want to accomplish. While I don’t know for sure, I sort of doubt that getting yourself so angry that you’re ready to burst at the stupidity of people who refuse to listen to you is your ultimate objective. It would be considerably more reasonable to state that you want to bring people to your point of view. Assuming that really is your goal, there probably isn’t a big chance you’re going to be successful; the other side is dug into their position just as deeply as you are. Screaming louder and tossing more clever insults at them probably isn’t going to change a lot of minds. But what might work is a calmer tone, an approach in which you try to listen with the objective of reaching some sort of compromise. Michael Kinsley, who formerly hosted the CNN show Crossfire, once suggested that he wanted to create a show titled Ceasefire, which would focus on areas of agreement and strive to find common ground.

  Okay, now that we know we can achieve a goal, let’s look at some other strategies that make sense. Some programs advocate keeping track of your behavior to see if patterns emerge. Many dieting programs, for example, start by having you write down everything you eat over a period of time. It might make sense to at least try to determine precisely those things that provoke the strongest reactions from you, or what issues or people cause you to respond. What issues push your buttons? The more you can understand what it is that engages and sometimes enrages you, the more likely it is you’ll be able to deal with it.

  In some cases, outrage just becomes your generalized type of behavior. You’ve become an angry person. You enjoy the online fights and try to provoke them. The problem is that if you get mad at anything, you’ll get mad at everything. It becomes both your approach and your attitude. You start by going into your default position—outrage. Not only isn’t it necessary, it’s counterproductive. Outrage isn’t going to help you accomplish any goals, and, like other addictions, it will eventually affect your personal life. For people with health issues—high blood pressure, for example—it might even be physically dangerous.

  Psychotherapist and author Gary Trosclair suggests that before engaging in political debate, you should “set your priorities clearly: Do you want to prove that you’re right, or to feel better and be effective for your cause?”

  Start by setting achievable goals. Limit the time you spend on the Internet. During discussion of an issue, find one claim made by the other side that you agree with. Try to make one positive comment about them. Stick to facts; “So’s your old man” will not win any debates. Trosclair also advises choosing to take constructive actions (such as joining with other people to accomplish a goal), pointing out, “Each time you do any of these, you break the psychological and biological cycles that keep reinforcing your anger. Addictions don’t go away immediately, but with time you can build new neural circuits that override the old ones.”

  Here’s the toughest one for many people: Admit something you’ve said or written is wrong. The reaction to doing that might surprise you. A Tufts University study demonstrated that people “viewing a concession created a more positive reaction to the ideological opponent.” In other words, if you’re willing to give a little, the other side is more likely to listen to you. According to the Atlantic, “Watching a concession did make people more likely to say they understood the viewpoint of their ideological opponent, and were open to opinions expressed by the opponent. . . . Don’t forget to throw in a to-be-sure sentence; it may sound like a concession, but it could wind up helping your cause, especially if your cause includes not seeing America consumed by bitter acrimony.”

  One reason AA and other step programs have proved to be so effective is that they are loosely structured. The how-to aspects of these programs allow each person to find his or her own way to achieve their goals. The steps are broadly defined and open to at least some interpretation. While programs like AA have been established to entirely eliminate a specific behavior—don’t drink—in this case we simply are asking you to modify your behavior. There is no need for you to eliminate it. The key is to examine and analyze your existing behavior patterns and find those places where you can change them.

  Right after the 2016 election, a San Francisco woman named Justine Lee cofounded an organization named Make America Dinner Again. I had her on the show one afternoon. The objective, she explained, was to bring together people with opposing political viewpoints for civil discussions over a warm, friendly meal. Lee asks guests to follow some simple commonsense rules: “Try not to make judgment statements. Don’t say, ‘You’re bad,’ ‘You’re wrong,’ ‘You’re crazy.’ Try to put this into ‘I’ statements, so ‘This made me feel . . .’ ” The first exercise at dinner is to find one thing they have in common. They might be from the same area or root for the same team; they might have friends or acquaintances in common. It turns out that when you dig, it’s possible to find those common areas. The obvious goal is to humanize each person so he or she is seen as an individual, not a label. That gets us to 8) Don’t label people.

  Labels and stereotypes are the worst type of shorthand. They too easily attribute beliefs and behaviors to people who may not fit into a group and make it easy to oppose them. If you tell a liberal, for example, that someone is a member of the NRA, they will instantly believe they know what that person believes. Tell a conservative that someone contributes to the ACLU, and they will know they have nothing in common with that person. I’ve been labeled, but it was out of necessity. To succeed in this business I had to be positioned a certain way. I became a product. I remember thinking when they told me we had trademarked my name, I’m a product? Ick! I started taking myself far too seriously. And I also remember thinking that because of the way I was presented, my audience had certain expectations that I had to meet.

  I was still at CNN, for example, when I met the great magician Penn Jillette, and he didn’t want anything to do with me. He made some nasty remarks. Several years later he apologized to me, telling me, “I hated the sound of those words coming out of my mouth. It was shocking to me. But I hadn’t healed from 9/11.” Eventually we became respectful friends who truly admire each other.

  But because I was labeled a conservative, people made all kinds of assumptions about my stand on issues. Some of them were true, but a lot of them weren’t. Friends of Penn Jillette couldn’t believe that he went on the air with a racist, bigot, and homophobe, which they assumed I must be. That’s beyond absurd. It turns out that there are many shades of conservative, just as there are different types of liberal.

  That rush to judgment—immediately labeling people—is so deeply ingrained in all of us because at times our survival depended on it. Predator or prey? Stand or run?

  More recently, it has become an economic necessity. Corporations long ago figured out how to exploit labels. It goes all the way back to the silent-movie Westerns in which the good guys were identifiable because they wore white hats, while bad guys wore black hats. That made it easy to know whom to root for. Here’s something I guarantee: Your side
is wearing the white hats. Political labels have exactly the same purpose. If there were no liberals, for example, Fox wouldn’t have an audience. As long as we remain divided, those entities that profit from this division will continue to thrive.

  The problem with this is that labels dehumanize people. It makes it easy to attack them for positions they may not even hold. One of the techniques Make America Dinner Again uses is to have each person interview another dinner guest—and then tell that person’s story to the group in the first person. That forces people to think of others as individuals, while labels make it easy to demonize an entire group. And when we make broad and sometimes unfair generalizations, we are opening the door for a lot worse to come through that door. Former vice president Joe Biden set the tone when he told Democrats, “I believe that we have to end the divisive partisan politics that is ripping this country apart. And I think we can. It’s mean-spirited, it’s petty, and it’s gone on for much too long. . . . I don’t think we should look at Republicans as our enemies. They are our opposition. They’re not our enemies. And for the sake of the country, we have to work together.”

  Federal law enforcement agencies use a little-known technique when tracking fugitives. They know that eventually most people are going to go online. It turns out that most of us are creatures of habit, and when we go online we visit the same sites, often in the same order. If authorities gain access to a person’s computer, they can identify those sites and that order. When someone goes online and visits those sites, the fugitive’s Internet provider notifies authorities of that computer’s location. That strategy has proved to be successful in several high-profile cases. The reason it works is that most of us are that cliché—the creature of habit. We tend to live somewhat predictable lives, repeating comfortable patterns. But overcoming your addiction to outrage is going to require you to make some changes. It will require you to 9) Open yourself to new possibilities.

  There are times we get stuck in a rut. It’s just easier, and emotionally safer, to stay there. But when you do that, your mind and spirit stop growing. I’ve been a big gambler with my career. I could have stayed happily ensconced at the Fox network, making loads of money, for a long time. Instead, I got out of there to start a web television network, something no one had done before. When we decided to do it, the technology didn’t even exist. Looking back, it was a crazy thing to do. But I was growing stagnant at Fox; maybe I was using different words, but essentially I was repeating myself day after day. I decided to roll the dice. I’ve always believed that if you risk big, you can win big—or lose big, but at least roll the dice.

  More than a century ago, Frederick Jackson Turner published an essay entitled “The Significance of the Frontier in American History.” Essentially, he wrote that the American character was shaped by continuing to expand our horizons. He also believed that a civilization starts dying when it stops exploring, when it stops changing and growing. Fear of the unknown plays an important role; for many of us, it’s what prevents us from opening ourselves to those new possibilities.

  I like to pose this question to people when I talk about changing their behavior: What’s the worst that can happen? That usually causes them to fumble around for some kind of answer. That answer is rarely satisfying. I point out to them that there is one thing we do know: What they are doing now isn’t accomplishing their objectives. And there are other things we know for certain: Losing or modifying your political outrage isn’t going to cost you your family or your job. It isn’t going to enable the other side to “win.” It isn’t going to pose a danger to the future of this country.

  Conversely, what’s the best that can happen? It could reduce the level of hateful rhetoric and stress. It could allow us to talk to each other and perhaps find some areas of compromise. It could actually allow this country to move into the future as a united country.

  By continuing to exhibit the same behavior, you’re not accomplishing anything other than enjoying a temporary and meaningless high. You’ve got that addictive dopamine and adrenaline surging through your veins, but eventually you’re going to need more and more of them to maintain the same level of fulfillment.

  Take a step in a different direction. Dip your toe. Visit a website popular with the other side. Walk down a different block. Listen to a popular song you’ve never heard before. Whatever it is, break out of the mold you’ve built around yourself. Remember, taking this step doesn’t require you to admit that you’re wrong. It isn’t necessarily your stand on the issues, it’s the way you think about and address your political opposition that needs to be changed. I happen to like the quote probably wrongfully attributed to Scottish lord Thomas Dewar, of the whiskey family: “Minds are like parachutes—they only function when open.”

  The final and often the most important aspect of the AA recovery program, as well as pretty much every other program designed to end an addiction, involves finding someone to offer assistance to you when you need it, and requiring you to offer that same assistance to others. In AA it is the last step, and the step that keeps your recovery fresh and working. It can start with a friend or with being a sponsor for someone who is struggling, but it needs to end up a part of who you are and a way of life. “Share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.” In this program, we can call it 10) Be generous of spirit and share your discoveries with others.

  The objective is to reunite America by giving up our national outrage. You are not going to be able to do it all by yourself, but we aren’t going to be able to do it without you. We’re all in this together. This has got to be a Team America effort, but it starts one person at a time. Working with other people reinforces your own commitment while also bringing it to the attention of others. I talk about my addiction. I tell people I’m an alcoholic. By doing that, I am making a public commitment to stay sober while also sending a strong message to other alcoholics that it’s possible to beat their addiction. Spreading the word helps you keep your own word. Maybe the next time you’re in the middle of a heated debate, you might pause and ask whoever is on the other side if they want to do something worthwhile. Few people are going to refuse. Then suggest they join in figuring out how to spread the message: Fight for your beliefs in a civil way. Respect each other. Respect yourself. And then join in spreading this word.

  It is the ultimate reinforcement, and the only way this can be effective. Here’s what you and the other person have in common: Both or all of you care deeply about the future of this country and care passionately about these issues—otherwise, you wouldn’t be in the middle of a debate. You’d be watching TV, playing a video game, or listening to music, but you wouldn’t be trying to sway other people to your political stance. We don’t have to make dinner for each other, but a few friendly words to a stranger will go a long way.

  I chose the phrase “Be generous” specifically because I am so confident that this program is so important to all of us that by sharing it, you are giving out something of real value. But at the same time, as an American, you will also be giving something back to this country.

  It doesn’t require 100 percent of Americans to participate; it doesn’t even require a majority. A movement can make a significant impact with as little as 20 percent participation.

  Here is what I’m asking: think. That’s all; the next time you dive headfirst into a political discussion and your blood starts flowing and your voice begins rising and gets a little strident, think.

  Postscript

  Think about what you gain and what you lose by holding on to your outrage.

  Think about the state of our nation today.

  Think about what will happen in the future if this political outrage continues to grow.

  I have no doubt about the ability of Americans to heal this divide; if there is a will, there is a way.

  I know that on December 8, 1941, this nation came together to defeat the Axis Powers.

  I know that on September 12, 2001, this nation united in ou
r determination to meet the challenge of radical Islam.

  My fervent hope is that we don’t have to wait for another such moment before we realize we are all in this together and act for the common good to make sure we are truly the United States of America.

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  About the Author

  PHOTO COURTESY OF AUTHOR

  GLENN BECK, the nationally syndicated radio host and founder of TheBlaze television network, is a twelve-time #1 bestselling author and is one of the few authors in history to have had #1 national bestsellers in the fiction, nonfiction, self-help, and children’s picture book genres. His recent fiction works include The Immortal Nicholas, Agenda 21, and The Overton Window and its sequel, The Eye of Moloch; his many nonfiction titles include Control, Miracles and Massacres, and Cowards. For more information about Glenn Beck, his books, and TheBlaze TV network, visit www.glennbeck.com and www.theblaze.com.

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