A Bundle of Mannies

by Lorelei M. Hart

  “I love it. I can’t believe you got something for me.”

  I swallowed down the nervousness while my stomach pulled taut with need for this alpha. “I’m glad. I thought maybe we could redo your office at the other house with those silly wall decals and this desk so it felt less like—”

  “Less like memories.” He reached out, giving my hand a slight squeeze.

  “That.” I didn’t know how they were all holding it together. The kids were young and resilient, but that kind of loss cut deep, and even though they asked for their dad less and less, he was still on their mind. They just knew the answer would be that he lived in heaven now. It broke my heart.

  “You’ve made this transition so much better, Beck,” he said as if hearing my thoughts. “You have no idea what it means to me that you are here, helping me—in my home, with me.”

  Oh, dear. That job/personal line was about to get crossed.

  “I love those kids and being here, with you,” I whispered.

  He leaned down, his breath fanning over my face. His gaze was targeted on my lips, and his fingers played with mine. “Beck, since that night…”

  And then Chelsea screamed bloody murder, snapping me from the moment. “Um, I’ll go get her.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Carter

  Nothing broke the mood faster than the blood-curdling scream of a child. Not that mood was the right word. Nearly making a catastrophic mistake was more like it, but when he gave me that desk, the sincerity of his motives had me—it was better this way.

  I ran after Beck, expecting to see blood everywhere. Instead, it turned out to be Hannah, not Chelsea as I originally thought, screaming. Chelsea sat up, looking at her sister and silently sobbing, and Jase? Jase was out for the count. That boy could sleep through anything.

  “I got her.” I reached for Hannah, taking her into my arms. “You get Chelsea?”

  He reached for her instantly, and I carried Hannah from the room, rocking her and whispering to her that it would all be all right. I figured getting her away from her siblings would calm them—well, Chelsea, anyway—down quicker.

  “Shhhh, ladybug, Uncle’s got you.” I sat in the rocking recliner. “Uncle’s got you.” I was so out of my element. Beck had told me that when I seemed stressed it exacerbated things. I’d been actively working on not letting them see how flustered I was at life, and he’d been right—it made a huge difference. But seeing her like this, sobbing so hard, made it difficult to not allow some of my own anxiety to seep through.

  Her snot ran down her face, and I scanned the room for the tissues, which were thankfully within arm’s reach. I cleaned her little face up as her sobbing started to subside. It was a dream, that was the only explanation, and not the same as the night terrors, either. No, this was different and somehow worse. I just didn’t know in what way yet.

  “Once upon a time…” I decided maybe a story would help. I was so grasping at straws. “There was a beautiful princess named Hannah.”

  She gasped in a sob, blinking up at me with her big brown eyes all wet with tears.

  “Hannah loved animals and would talk to the squirrels when she played in the backyard.” Our Hannah would tell them all about her day, and for some reason they stuck around while she did so, only encouraging her to tell them more. I learned a lot about Hannah by listening to her tales. Being the oldest, losing her father hit her the hardest, for she understood that it meant she would never see him again. The other two still hadn’t figured that part out, their brains not quite ready for a concept as big as forever.

  “Every day they listened to her tell them all about her day at school or something her brother did to annoy her.” He sat up a little, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “And they listened, but one day...guess what happened?”

  She wrinkled her nose the way she did when she was thinking really hard. “They moved?”

  “No, they didn’t move, they talked back to her. The squirrels were magic squirrels.” That one earned me a little smile. “So Princess Hannah asked them all kinds of questions about where they lived and how they hid their nuts and the most important question of all…”

  “Why are none of them purple?” she asked with all seriousness.

  “Yes, why are none of them purple, and they told her all about how they used to be all the colors of the rainbow until they made the Queen of the Fae mad and she took all the pretty colors away from them.”

  “That’s sad, Uncle. They must’ve been very naughty.” Her serious face showed no signs of her once having been a bawling pile of mush with the exception of the red in her eyes. “They should say sorry.”

  “That they should. And maybe they will. But not tonight. It’s getting late.” I hugged her close. “Did you have a bad dream?”

  “Uh-huh.” She gave a subtle nod.

  “Did you want to tell me about it?” I wasn’t going to push.

  “No.”

  “Okay, if you ever do, you can always tell me or tell Beck.” I kissed the top of her head. “Are you ready to go back to bed?”

  “I’m tired,” she admitted, and I carried her to her room and tucked her in. Chelsea was already sound asleep, and Beck no longer there. He was so wonderful with the kids.

  “Have a good night. Would you like me to give you a dream?” I was winging it.

  “Yes please. A good one where you don’t disappear like Daddy, okay.” My heart clenched as she inadvertently told me her dream.

  “I only give the best dreams.” I placed my hands on either side of her head. “Tonight I am giving you a dream about a white kitten who loves to play with string and purrs really loudly. Does that sound like a good dream?”

  “The best. Thanks, Uncle Carter.” She snuggled onto her side, her bear in her arms. I waited a couple of minutes and then got up to leave when she added, “I can’t wait to get our kitten.”

  Crap. I might’ve accidentally promised her a kitten.

  I headed to the kitchen for a cup of tea, but Beck had beat me to it, the kettle whistling as I arrived.

  “I’m having rose hip. Did you want some?” He had two cups already out and on the counter.

  “I would love some.” I crossed over and took a seat at the breakfast bar. “So, Beck, are you by chance allergic to cats?”

  He stopped pouring the water, his head tilted to the side. “No. Why?”

  “I think I might have possibly, maybe accidentally promised Hannah a kitten.” I shrugged, and he went back to pouring the water.

  “That’s one way to calm a nightmare.” He shook his head with mirth. “At least you didn’t promise her a squirrel.”

  “You heard that?” I took the cup he handed me.

  “I did. Well done.” He walked around the island and sat beside me with his own beverage cradled between his hands. “I was thinking of talking to you about Lynn’s place.”

  “I was thinking about it, too.” Lynn’s place was an organization that helped grieving children and their families. “They always seem to be doing so well and act so strong,” I said more to myself than to Beck. I’d allowed myself to think they were much better than they were. His arm wrapped around me.

  “They are strong.” He squeezed me a little closer. “And they are doing amazing.”

  “But Lynn’s place might make it easier for them.” He was right. “So much change and heartache in such a short period of time.”

  “It’s a good thing they have such an amazing uncle who loves them so.”

  And good thing I had Beck.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Beck

  Maybe it was the move. Or maybe the fact Carter had almost kissed me that night of the nightmares and kittens.

  Whatever it was, it seemed to be digging at the alpha in a way that made him seclude himself in his room at night, and I longed for his presence in those quiet moments after the kids had gone to sleep.

  Fuck, I had no business longing for Carter in any way.

  The n
ight before we moved, Carter sidled up next to me as I placed the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner while the kids colored in their new coloring books at the table. He nudged me with his shoulder. “Would you mind if I went somewhere tonight? After the kids are bathed and in bed?”

  My stomach twisted in knots as the possible scenarios floated through my mind. Was he going out on a date? Was there someone else? I mean, someone other than me who was just his employee and not his someone at all.

  Gods, was he going out to get laid?

  I barely got ahold of myself.

  Scraping gravy and mashed potatoes off the plate in my hand into the garbage disposal, I pretended to be cool about it. “Of course. You don’t have to ask me, Carter.”

  He sighed and looked out the window above the sink into the night. “Maybe this will help this mood I’ve been in. Thanks. Let’s get these little ones into the tub.”

  Instead of the normal nighttime bath talks I’d become accustomed to with Carter while we discussed our days and the kids, I stayed silent for the most part. At one point, Chelsea reached out and touched my mouth while I was drying her, like she was testing it out, seeing if it still worked.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” Carter said, touching my elbow, and I almost jerked away. He couldn’t touch me like that, tease me, if he was going to go out and date and whatever it was he was going to do.

  “Just got some things in my head. No worries.”

  He nodded, and we didn’t even get to bedtime stories. The kids were too tired out from our afternoon at the newest splash pad in town. They’d played in the water for hours. Jase’s nose had a bit of sunburn. I’d missed one spot with the sunscreen.

  Carter went to his bedroom before going downstairs to grab his keys, wallet, and phone.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Beck?” he asked as I took out my frustrations on the countertops which had been clean for fifteen minutes.

  “I’m great. Have a good time.”

  He glanced down and almost looked torn. “I’ll be back.”

  After hearing the front door click, I almost lost my shit, and I had no right to. Yes, we had spent one glorious night together, but Carter wasn’t mine. He wasn’t my alpha, and I didn’t belong to him.

  Yeah, tell my heart that.

  I spent the next few hours sweeping, mopping, and getting every scrap of laundry done, including Carter’s. He’d never asked me to do his, but I had to find a way to keep busy.

  I’d made myself a cup of tea and was drowning my sorrows in a box of madeleines when I saw the headlights filter through the kitchen windows. Either he found no one, the date was shitty, or that was a quickie of epic proportions. Glancing up at the clock, I realized I was wrong. He’d been gone four hours. Ample time to…

  “You’re still up?” Carter came into the kitchen to sit across from me.

  “Couldn’t sleep.” Liar, liar. “Tea?”

  He nodded. “Chamomile if we have any.”

  I poured his tea and added a touch of honey the way he liked. I sat back in my chair and slid the cookies over to him. He picked one up and raised it in the air between us. “Cookie for your thoughts?”

  I gently pushed his hand back toward him. “You first.”

  He nodded, and I took in how devastatingly handsome he was like this—in our special moments of the night. “I’ve been thinking that I’ve never really faced my brother dying. Yeah, we went to the funeral and those things, but I didn’t ever make peace with it—say the things I needed to. That’s where I went tonight—I went to their house, or now our house and said some things to my brother—talked to him—said goodbye. I packed up his clothes and belongings and put them in the attic while I was there. I didn’t want the kids to see…”

  My entire body relaxed at his confession.

  And all that time I’d thought he was out getting a piece of ass. I should be ashamed.

  “You never did mourn. Do you feel better? You’ve been kind of…”

  He chuckled, and I was glad to hear the sound again. “An ass?”

  I patted his hand. “No, just introverted—quiet.”

  “I hired a cleaning crew to go in and clean up before we got there. They did a good job, but I told them to leave the master alone. I wanted to do that myself. I didn’t visit them enough—I could’ve helped him more. I didn’t realize how hard it was for him with three little ones and his alpha gone. I…”

  Carter’s shoulders began to shake, his chest heaving as his desperate sobs filled the room. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him, still standing. And before I knew it, he’d tugged me onto his lap and embraced me, crying onto my shoulder.

  My heart broke for this man. He’d been given so much responsibility in such a short amount of time and yet had taken it all so well—maybe too well, which was why now he was shattering.

  “It’s okay. Cry all you need to,” I cooed in his ear, and he took my advice and cried for the next hour or so. I stroked his hair and rubbed his back and told myself the actions were what any friend would do for another.

  He slowed down and reached for a napkin. I got it for him and wiped his face, taking care in stroking away every tear while he looked at me.

  “You’re so good to us, Beck.”

  I winked at him. “It’s my job.”

  His eyebrows furrowed. “No, it’s more than that. You care for those kids and…”

  Yes, Carter, for you as well.

  I had to stop this before it got too far. I needed this job. Fuck me, leaving his lap was the last thing I wanted to do.

  I moved to stand, but he stopped me with his hands on my hips. I felt the warm pressure of his fingers and held my breath for a second, trying to calm myself.

  “Not yet. Let me hold you a little longer.”

  My heart thrummed in my ears and, gods help me, I relaxed back into his arms and let him hold me.

  “Your turn.”

  “What?” I asked, and the words came out strained.

  “Your turn to tell me your thoughts.” He leaned forward and laid his forehead on my chest.

  “Oh, um, I’d rather not, actually. They are ridiculous compared to yours.”

  His hands pulsed, still on my hips. He wrapped them around my waist. “Nothing you think is ridiculous, Beckham. Spill it.”

  He used my whole name. I had no choice.

  “Um, I thought tonight, you had gone out on a date or…”

  He stiffened his hold around me. “Or what? Tell me, Beckham.”

  The way he said my name in that bass tone made me want to come right then and there. Job be damned.

  I sighed and let my finger graze along the rim of his ear. “I thought maybe you’d gone out to get laid—get some ass is the exact way I thought it, actually.”

  Now looking up at me, he pouted his bottom lip, and it made his chin quiver. When he did, a dimple near the right side of his mouth popped up, or in, as the case was. I’d never seen that before, and I reached up to touch it.

  “I couldn’t do that now, Beck. Everything has changed.”

  I made an mmm sound. “Yeah, you’ve got the kids and all.”

  He huffed out a breath. “Not just the kids, Beck. I couldn’t do that with you here now.”

  Heaven help me. He stroked my face, and I knew that move, remembered it from the night we’d spent together. A kiss was in our future.

  I wanted to—fucking hell, I wanted it more than I wanted my next breath.

  “Carter, we can’t. I’m a student, and you’re a professor, and I work for you. As much as I want to, we can’t.”

  With that blurt of information, I forced my body to get up and move to my bedroom and locked the door behind me—not to keep Carter out, but more to keep me in.

  Because it was taking everything in me not to go and jump my professor right then and there.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Carter

  “Come on. We’ll have so much more fun than bowling, he said. The food will be am
azing, he said. Live a little, he said.” Stan wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. “Live a little my ass. This is gonna kill me.

  “Exaggerate much,” I puffed between breaths, mine stolen by the near couch catastrophe only moments earlier.

  “That could’ve gone far worse.” He wasn’t wrong. Who made a couch in pieces only held together by a slat? They were asking for trouble.

  “But did you die?” Beck came in with two bottles of chilled water.

  “He pays you to agree with him.” Stan sighed and then grabbed the bottle, guzzling it straight down.

  “He pays me to watch the kids. We disagree on plenty.” He gave me a wink.

  Ever since that night when I bared my soul to him and confessed my feelings, he’d become more and more flirtatious. And had he not run away that night, locking his door, a sound that still echoed through me when I closed my eyes, I’d have appreciated it. Now? Now I was a ball of confusion, which was why I dragged Stan to our operation move.

  “Whatever. Let’s get this done. Maybe I can at least cook the promised amazing dinner.” He rolled his eyes and tossed the empty bottle into the makeshift garbage in the form of an empty box.

  We’d already emptied the place, either putting the items in the back of our vehicles, into the mobile storage unit, or the dumpster we rented. The dumpster was meant to be for the construction debris, but we’d managed to fill it most of the way with just things from the house. Among other things, I donated all the non-child-friendly furniture to a local charity, furniture I remarkably had a lot of. Some single alpha would probably love it.

  “Janice said as soon as we were done to just head over.” I’d left off the part where we were eating at Janice’s place. She was university famous for her shepherd’s pie, something hardly considered elegant cuisine but oh so yummy.

  “You didn’t mention that part.” I’ll double-check all the cupboards while you two make sure everything else on the contractor’s list is done.” Stan rubbed his belly. “Please let it be what I think it is for supper.”

  “Oh, it is. She offered, and I was no fool.”