by Cynthia Dane
“Why didn’t you?”
“I took so long to ask because this was when business was starting to take off. She had her own business ventures too. We agreed not to get involved in each other’s careers. She was never as successful as me, but she never wanted for anything, including pride. I was proud of her too. So proud that when I went to pick out a ring I had no idea what to get her. It seemed wrong to pick out a ring for her. So I decided to ask her without one.”
“And?” This pause was killing Jasmine.
“Long story short, she said no.”
“I’m sorry. Why?”
“I’ll be asking myself that for a long time still.”
Jasmine perked up. “So basically you got your heart broken and life sucked.”
“In a manner of speaking.”
Her hand slapped onto his stomach. “And now you just buy women.”
She waited for a testy retort, but it never came. Instead Ethan glanced over the edge of her bed, moved with a start, and reached down into her open nightstand drawer. Oh no, not the silicone boyfriend! Ethan’s ego would be a bit bruised seeing that thing. I swear a real one is better! It doesn’t give me carpal tunnel!
But it wasn’t a toy he pulled out. It was a thin stack of bound paper, one that Jasmine instantly recognized. “Well would you look at this?” Ethan flipped open her copy of their contract and laughed. “Some light reading material before bed, Miss Bliss?”
At least it wasn’t something else. Jasmine slumped onto her side. “I don’t know where else to put that.”
Ethan stopped to read some parts of the contract. “I don’t remember that…”
“How the hell could you not? You wrote the damn thing!”
“Actually, I got it off the Internet.”
“What?”
“Wrote parts of it myself too. The first woman and I…”
“Who?”
Ethan looked up from the contract. “Celeste. She was the first woman I approached about a contract like this, although she didn’t take me up on it until a year ago. She helped me write it up. Most of the original stuff was her idea.” The contract turned upside down in Ethan’s hands. “Like this nugget right here.” He pointed. Something about riding crops. “She loved that shit.”
“Someone told me that you and her were really close.”
The smile fell off Ethan’s face. “I suppose.”
“Did you love her too?”
Ethan put the contract back in the drawer. “I don’t know. I wasn’t given enough time to figure that out.”
He seems to be the type that falls in love easily. Not the kind of love that was fleeting, but the kind of love that reached out to others. He had loved Adrienne, and he probably loved Celeste. Jasmine didn’t know either of these women, but she was curious what they were like. They must be special. From what she understood, they were both beautiful and smart, good at their jobs and not afraid to stand up to Ethan.
“Have you ever been in love?”
Those words brought Jasmine back to the present. “I…” She felt the warmth of his skin beneath her cheek; inhaled the scent of his body and his aftershave; heard his breaths beneath the sound of his voice. “I think so. It sucks.”
“Tell me about it.”
But Jasmine didn’t want to talk about it. She curled her arm around Ethan’s torso, determined to savor every moment of him being there in her bed.
When his hand gently landed on her shoulder, holding her closer and closer, she nearly lost herself to the madness that they both spoke of.
“Am I just a Band-Aid?” Jasmine asked, her voice struggling to be more than a whisper. “Is my point to make you forget those other women?”
“No.” Offense was not taken. That meant Ethan knew that she was thinking it already.
“If I’m not a sex toy, and I’m not a Band-Aid, then what am I to you?”
“Why does it matter?”
Jasmine sat up, her body halfway to looming over Ethan’s. “What do you mean why does it matter? You’re giving me money to be your girlfriend, but in truth I’m not your girlfriend at all. I follow your rules, play your game, and in return I get…”
“Money?”
“I’m not sure. But if I’m not just a lay to you, then you’re not just money to me.”
He stroked her hair, still damp from her shower. “I think we might be friends.”
“Friends who have sex in supply closets.”
“I can’t help it.” His smile was that of a stupid boy’s. “You’re too much to resist.”
“Prove it.”
Jasmine should have known to not ask for what she might not be able to handle. Like Ethan suddenly rolling against her, his lips pressing against hers.
She couldn’t handle it because she knew it was too late for her. I’m in love with him. She held it back, denied it, pretended that she lived by any other truth than that. I can’t. The moment his lips teased her cheek she was gone. Ethan didn’t have to do anything else to her. Just love on me. I’m yours.
Deep down she knew he didn’t love her. At least not with the same intensity, the same desire drawing her to him. She could have said no – but she didn’t want to. In her off time she wanted to be with him as well. It was only strange now because they were in her world. Casual. Flirty. Doing things a normal boyfriend and girlfriend would do. No Lamborghinis and no extravagant dinners. No ridiculous gardens or nights at the opera. Just her, him, the cat making a mess in the living room, and the familiar sounds of her own bed creaking to the movements of their lovemaking.
I want to tell him. Jasmine wanted to whisper her love into his ear, to feel him respond with ardor. But she knew better than to say a damned thing. Ethan had worn his heart on his sleeve for her. Told her about his broken feelings and more or less confessed that he didn’t want a normal relationship because it would end with him being the one hurt. Jasmine fell backward into his arms, feeling them wrap tight around her as one hand fondled her breasts and the other lifted her leg back over his. This man has too much passion. It boiled within him until it overflowed and drowned the women near him. She wondered how much he held back from her.
“Is this what you wanted all along?” Jasmine asked him, a hand up her shirt and a hand undressing her below. Ethan’s fingers rubbed her slit, quickly claiming her mind. Ask your questions now, Jasmine. Soon she would forget how to talk. “Sex?”
A kiss interrupted her thoughts. Ethan squeezed her breast and fingered her center, sending one of his many waves through Jasmine’s expectant body. “Yes,” he whispered into her ear. Then, “I wanted to make love to you tonight. But most of all I wanted to just be with you.”
Her hand curled around his face, arm straining to contort herself in this way for him. But she didn’t want to move – to possibly turn around and face him – since he had such a firm grip on her. “Do it.”
His fingers touched the base of her throat. “You want me?”
“Yes!”
Jasmine didn’t know where this sudden desire for him like this came from. Two minutes ago she would have been fine with no sex that night, or even that weekend. Ethan had been welcomed to stay with her if he wanted. Or not. It didn’t matter to her.
But now she was vulnerable to him, ready to accept him into her body already. From zero to everything in less than five minutes.
His kisses were heavy and determined on her tender skin. “Me too.” He pushed aside her clothing between her thighs, his fingers wet from how much she wanted him. “I want you too.”
The room went dark as Jasmine closed her eyes and felt him enter her.
It wasn’t rough – not yet. She wanted him there, within her, but they were both only half-prepared. Time in the form of one blissful minute had to pass before Jasmine could not only take all of him, but Ethan was hard enough to do so as well.
“Jasmine…” He said her name over and over, his rhythm slow but full of passion. Jasmine
clenched her hands over his and moaned, her body adjusting to this sudden wave of euphoria overcoming her. Not an orgasm. Something else. The thrill of him being with her. Coming here to be with her. He had gone home and thought of her enough to find her, to appeal to her, to want to be with her. Jasmine’s mind slowly caught up with her body. Her heart was long gone.
Her name snapped in her ear with Ethan still inside her, hands clamping onto her breast and thigh. He sounded desperate, like a man who was afraid of losing the only thing – or person – that mattered. It was that kind of voice that nearly destroyed Jasmine from the inside. Don’t fall for it. He didn’t love her like that. He wouldn’t let himself love her like that. If Jasmine wasn’t careful, she would be the next to have her heart broken in Ethan’s world.
Hard to be careful when he was all around her, consuming her with his body as his scent and heat overwhelmed her senses. Whenever Jasmine opened her eyes she found herself fumbling in her bed, this man who had no business being there being there and turning everything she knew upside down.
Ethan almost said her name again. Say it. That poison to Jasmine’s heart. But he caught himself, her name tumbling in his throat as he struggled for breath. His body pulled from hers until she was alone on her bed, wondering what she had done to turn him off so quickly.
He rolled her over onto her back, opened her legs, and bent between them.
That’s one way to shut yourself up. Ethan’s mouth spared no expense spoiling Jasmine, his tongue drawing up her folds while his lips wrapped around every bit of flesh they encountered. Jasmine clutched her pillow, her shirt, her comforter as Ethan pushed her legs farther up, testing her flexibility. Whatever gave him greater access to the best parts of her.
“Don’t stop…” Jasmine understood why Ethan loved her breasts so much. She did too, as her fingers fought to stimulate them, the combination of this and Ethan’s touch pushing her toward a cliff she could not back away from. “Ethan!” She could say his name too, but her version held more urgency and a sharp cry that encouraged instead of adored. Or maybe both.
He never used his fingers. He didn’t have to when his passion alone was enough to topple Jasmine’s final insecurities and bring her back to that moment three months ago when a stoic billionaire first seduced her in his penthouse. I had known what I was doing… going to have sex with him... Here they were, Jasmine struggling to hold on to her heart for dear, dying life.
“You’re gonna make me come, bastard!” So rude, and yet it instigated him to go deeper.
Jasmine wondered if he was going to let her go that far. Ethan liked to deny her orgasms when he was into it, and in all fairness, it drove her wild in all the right ways. But this was different. He wasn’t toying with her. He wasn’t finding ways to dominate her in bed. This was pure passion, a need to please her. There was nothing calculated in the way Ethan made love to her, other than thinking, “Make her feel good.” His hands gripped either side of her hips, pulling her toward him as he showed her so little mercy that it was only inevitable that…
“Shit!” Jasmine shot up, her hands gripping her pillow as opposed to throwing it across the room. “Oh God!” She fell down again, the shocking, pulsing feelings overcoming her as Ethan took her through her orgasm by never relenting what he did to her.
Breathless, Jasmine weakly pushed him away, her body too sensitive for him right now. Ethan detached from her, his kisses hard and ingeminating against her thigh, her stomach, and then her lips as he pulled her into his embrace. I can taste myself on him. Infused with endorphins, Jasmine wrapped her arms around her boss, her boyfriend, the man who drew her into a world that she couldn’t reject. It didn’t matter how they really felt about each other. In this moment they needed one another, for whatever reason.
“You’re so beautiful,” Ethan murmured, his lips trapped in the groove of her neck. Her fingers slipped through his hair, searching for something to hold on to as she willed their bodies to come closer. “Everything about you is beautiful.”
Jasmine didn’t have to ask how. He told her, soon enough.
“This right here.” Ethan kissed her shoulder, lips curling over the bone as it protruded in a line. “And this.” He kissed her chest, not her breast, but the place right above her heart. Whether it was on purpose or just a fluke, she didn’t care.
It wasn’t a fluke.
“Here.” His kiss was gentler on her forehead, his hand smoothing back her hair. “I…”
Jasmine waited to hear it. Those words that would change their lives forever.
He didn’t say it. Ethan merely burrowed his face in her neck, his arms squeezing her so tightly that she gasped for breath.
Say it! He was so close, so frustratingly close. Jasmine clung to him out of fear that he would slip away from her again. As if him being unable to confess his emotions would keep him safe. You stupid idiot. You think if you love me I’ll suddenly not love you? She thought of those women he loved, the ones who didn’t love him back. The rational side of Jasmine understood why he kept his guard up. The irrational side thought him the dumbest man alive.
Maybe she could show him how much she loved him. Because she sure as hell wasn’t going to be the first one to say it.
Jasmine pushed herself up on her arms, gazing upon Ethan’s body as it lay languid on her bed. He was gorgeous too, but she wouldn’t voice these observations like he did. Jasmine was content to stroke his cheek, straddle his hips, and bring her nose and lips close to his.
“You drive me stir-fucking crazy,” she murmured, pushing the hair out of his eyes and searching for his hips with hers. “Like I don’t know what to do with myself around you.”
His expression did not change. “And?”
“And you damn well know what I mean.”
She kissed him, taking control of how much passion she expressed in this moment. As much as she enjoyed Ethan taking over and directing their lovemaking, sometimes she needed a turn as well.
Yet he still exerted control in the way he touched her, his hands strong on her sides as they meandered down to her waist and then her thighs. He sat up far enough to grab himself by the base of his erection and direct it toward Jasmine, entering her as she groaned against his chest.
Jasmine let him have the first few thrusts, feeling him go deeper and deeper until she was acclimated to his presence within her. Then she lifted up, flinging her arms behind her to catch her fall and ride him until she didn’t want to anymore.
It had been a long time since she made love like this. Most of her previous partners were not interested in her taking such a stance, and Ethan was so used to taking control that this never popped up. I forgot how good it feels. Jasmine lifted her shirt and thought about ripping it off, but then Ethan thrust upward, making her cry out and forget what she was doing.
Suddenly she was falling backward, and Ethan was lurching forward, catching her in his arms as he brought her to him and held her like a treasure in his lap.
This was it. This was the closest Jasmine had ever felt to him, not just physically – God knew he was still within her – but emotionally as well. Every one of his breaths matched up with hers, his forehead against hers as he debated whether to kiss her or not. Do it. Now. Jasmine leaned in, but Ethan diverted his lips, choosing to squeeze her and exhale against her shoulder.
I love you. Jasmine bunched his T-shirt up in her hands, willing it off his body as he slowly moved within her again. Ethan brought his head back and finally kissed her, forcing his tongue into her – a gesture readily accepted. I love you so much I don’t even know myself anymore. If she could hear it from his lips she would die.
Wishful thinking took over and told her that he did love her, that his heavy kisses and tight squeezes were his way of saying that he wanted to be close to her too. I hate wishful thinking. But Jasmine was drunk on it now, kissing him back, finding any empty space to place her lips and to inhale his intoxicating scent. Below, his body rocked into her
s, and she responded with her own strength, pushing down, feeling him enter her deeply and then gently out again, their rhythm the greatest thing she ever felt in bed with someone else.
“My flower.” There he was, the Ethan she knew, the one who asserted himself over her in bed. He fell onto her, pushing her back into the bed while he thrust between her legs. Yes. All around her. He was on top of her, beneath her with his arms, on either side as he held her down with his strong body. He caressed her, kissed her, picked up his rhythm as she let go of her side and let him take control again. “My fl…”
He interrupted himself with a loud groan that echoed in Jasmine’s head, sending her over the edge one more time as he spent himself and filled her with his warmth.
“You’re warm.” Jasmine was too lost to realize what she was telling him. “You’re so damn warm.”
