by Cynthia Dane
Ethan’s grunts slowed with his thrusts. “You too.”
That’s at least half you right now. Jasmine laughed, pitifully, her strength sapped out of her now that Ethan had paused his movements. Yet she didn’t want to release him, and implored him to stay like that, holding her down and remaining inside of her. She moved her hand up his head and felt his sweat on her skin. “Stay with me?” Both hands were on either of his cheeks now, getting a small thrill from the pricks of his stubble.
He kissed one of her palms, easing a little out of her, but not all the way. “If I can.”
She interpreted that as him wanting her express permission. “Yes, you can.”
It was her first time having someone hold her in her own bed. Ethan settled in behind her, his arms wrapped both beneath and above her torso – he didn’t seem afraid of his limb going to sleep along with the rest of him. Jasmine buried her face in her pillow, the lights now off, and her heart thumping against her chest. For him.
The door creaked open. Within seconds Blackbeard hopped up on the bed and curled up against Jasmine, head pushing beneath her hand and rubbing against Ethan’s arm. Even though half the bed sank in his favor, neither human paid any mind.
Jasmine thought they would stay like that for the rest of the night. Ethan had asked to be with her, and she had consented. What else was there to consider? Jasmine had no reason to believe that as she began to fall asleep, comfortable in Ethan’s arms, that he would get up slowly enough as to not disturb her.
But she realized it within seconds, her eyes opening wide as she stared into the black tuft of her cat’s fur.
At first she didn’t want to acknowledge Ethan’s departure. It became harder to ignore once he cleaned himself up, straightened out his clothes, and sat on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. No, you don’t get to love and dump me in one night. Jasmine sat up, Ethan already halfway out the bedroom door.
“Ethan?” She scrambled out of bed and cut him off in the living room. The look on his face was not comforting. “Where are you going?”
He did not touch her. He barely even looked at her. “Home,” he said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
His shoulder nudged Jasmine’s as he pushed past her and headed toward the front door. “Wait.” She knew she couldn’t stop him, but she could at least try to get an answer. “I don’t believe for one second that you really want to leave. I won’t stop you. Whatever’s going through your head right now, it’s really messing you up. Trust me, I know. You’ve been messing up my head for a good few months now.” She took his hand, hanging limp between her fingers. “I want you to know that you don’t have to be afraid with me. I’m not with you for your money. Well, not anymore. I don’t know why you picked me out of the crowd, but something has happened between us since that day. You can’t deny it. My only wish is that we would stop playing these games. I don’t like not knowing whether or not you actually care for me. Any rich man could throw money at a woman. It’s fun, I admit. But then things change. Like having feelings that you never meant to have in the first place. I don’t want you to tell me something that you’re not ready to. But what I want to know is… do I mean anything to you at all?”
Ethan looked over his shoulder, his fingers finally wrapping around hers. “You mean a lot of things to me. I can’t be more specific than that. I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you need right now.”
“You think I need something big and grand?”
He turned, one arm looping around her shoulders and bringing her in toward him. For a moment Jasmine believed that everything was going to be all right. Ethan would apologize again, they would go back to bed, and everything would be okay.
All he did was kiss her, soft, hard, everything in between at the same time. Jasmine wanted to dive in, to draw him back toward her bedroom for another round of lovemaking. But she also wanted to push him away, to eject him and his games from her life.
“I’m sorry.” Ethan broke their kiss, fingers falling from her as he dashed toward her door.
“Ethan!” Jasmine didn’t chase him down. What was the point? He would keep running until they saw each other on Monday, and suddenly everything would be back to normal. That bastard. Jasmine clawed her face, nails digging into her skin as she felt the first tear hit her knuckle. “Don’t go…”
The door closed.
How could he be so selfish? Why was Jasmine such an easy target for his mind games? Hot one moment, cold the next. It was like every time they came closer he pulled himself farther away. Was he scared? Unsure? It screwed with her head like he screwed with her heart.
Jasmine stumbled back to her room and curled up in bed with her cat. At first she buried her face in her pillow, holding back another set of tears. He wasn’t worth it.
Not worth it.
Not worth it.
Jasmine’s eyes burned. She picked up her phone off the nightstand and dialed the only number she could think of so late at night.
It wasn’t Juan or Selena who answered. They wouldn’t understand. They didn’t even know about Ethan. Not like that. No, the only person who could give Jasmine any relief was…
“Hello? Jasmine? Is everything okay?” Nadia sounded groggy, as if she had an early Friday night. Jasmine didn’t know what her friend from work did in her off-time. Sometimes she got the impression that Nadia was a homebody, and other times she sounded like she went out with a group of friends every weekend. Tonight must be a homebody night.
“I’m sorry for calling so late.” Jasmine rubbed her eyes. She wasn’t really sorry. “I just didn’t know who else to call.”
“What’s wrong?”
What’s wrong, she asks! Jasmine could have laughed – but she was too busy trying to hold back the tears, her face burning as the tears built until she couldn’t hold them back anymore.
Her first sob was the loudest, and she curled into the fetal position while the cat grunted at her for disturbing him. Then another sob hit, and then another. Jasmine was trapped in the cycle of crying as Nadia remained silent on the other end of the line. God only knew how much time passed before Jasmine could speak again. Maybe it was a minute. Maybe five. “He makes me feel so disposable.” The words were mangled in her mouth, as if every one of them struggled to break free from her lips. “I can’t take it anymore.”
Silence remained on the line. Jasmine thought that Nadia had hung up on her, then, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“No, I’m sorry. Why am I calling you? Shit.”
“For what it’s worth,” Nadia continued, “I don’t think you’re the only one he’s made feel that way.”
“What right do I have to complain, right? I mean, what woman wouldn’t want him…” Jasmine couldn’t say it without choking again. She was this close to apologizing to Nadia again and then hanging up. My cat will have to comfort me. Good luck.
“I’m not going to pretend I really know what’s going on.” Somehow Nadia managed to keep an even tone, even if her voice was laden with sleep. “Is this about Mr. Cole?”
“Why not? You’re the one who figured it out, right?”
“I’m sorry I said anything, honestly. I made things awkward.”
Yes. For the first few days after Nadia asked Jasmine if she was sleeping with Ethan, tensions were high in the office. Jasmine spent most of her time avoiding Nadia as if a large, judgmental cloud were going to strike her dead. But Nadia never brought it up again, and she only occasionally got flustered when in Ethan’s presence. “No, it’s not your fault. He doesn’t know you know. But God… can I tell you what he just did?”
“…Sure.”
Jasmine unloaded as much as she dared. Not the details of their lovemaking, but Ethan coming over unannounced, their low-key date, that some emotions were exchanged, and his sudden exit. It took every ounce of resistance in Jasmine’s body to not start crying in the middle of it. She imagined N
adia on the other line, lying in bed and rubbing her eyes as she listened to this insanity.
“I can’t convey how much he’s screwed me up.” Jasmine sniffed, unable to cry any more. “He won’t commit one way or the other. I can deal with him using me for my body. But for the love of all that’s sane in this world, I can’t deal with him stringing me along emotionally.”
“For what it’s worth… I don’t think you’re the first.”
“I know.” Jasmine thought of Samantha, a woman clearly in over her head when it came to dealing with Ethan’s love games. “But I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.”
“Sounds to me that the worst part is you loving him.”
Right in the gut. How did she know? “I’m not going to lie to you. He’s an easy man to fall in love with.”
“So I’ve noticed. Not that I can say I ever have. Fallen in love with him, that is.”
“So you two haven’t…” Jasmine had believed Ethan, but hearing it from Nadia’s lips would be more reassuring.
A light chuckle crinkled over the line. “No. God no.”
So I probably shouldn’t tell you about that time in his office. Jasmine had long since determined that Ethan was mostly messing with her about being attracted to Nadia to that extent, but there was no denying that she was a beautiful woman. It was a wonder she was still single.
“He’s never even asked you out?”
The pause and ensuing sigh over the phone insinuated that Nadia neither planned for this conversation nor wanted to have it. But she did reply. “He flirted with me when I first started, but I shut it down pretty quickly. Hasn’t acted anything but professional to me since.”
“Oh.”
“Why? Did he tell you something?”
“Huh? No!” Last thing Jasmine wanted was her friend thinking that her boss was about to skeeze on her. “I guess I’m just surprised.”
“Why? Because there’s a woman out there who is able to resist the charms of Ethan Cole?” Jasmine could practically hear the smile on Nadia’s sleepy face.
“Apparently. God knows I couldn’t resist, and I tried.”
“I have no interest in Mr. Cole. Because I’m gay.”
“What?” At least Jasmine wasn’t thinking about Ethan anymore. “But he told me that you had a boyfriend before I joined!”
“Yes. Had.” Was she laughing at the situation or at Jasmine? “It’s complicated. But I have no interest in men right now. Really, you never figured it out?”
“No!” To be fair, Jasmine was a bit preoccupied around the office. And Nadia never shared much about her love life during lunch… or… “If you’ve been flirting with me all this time, I never noticed.”
“Oh so now the tables are turned? You think I must be attracted to you?”
“No, no…”
“Don’t worry. I’m not rich enough to lure you away from Mr. Cole.”
“Too bad, eh?” Jasmine was on the verge of laughing. Blackbeard resettled against her stomach, his green eyes glaring at her while his tail swished over the side of the bed. “Could use the distraction right now.”
“Well, give him an earful on Monday. He may be your boss, but if he’s playing at being your boyfriend too then he needs to sort his shit out. Rich asshole or not.”
She was right. On Monday Jasmine was going to give Ethan a piece of her mind. When her eyes weren’t red and she wasn’t a blubbering idiot. For now she would have to be content with her creaking bed and purring cat. As soon as she hung up, Jasmine felt a little better. But she wasn’t going to pretend that things were fine.
29
Jasmine didn’t have time Monday morning to discuss this matter with Ethan. From the moment she walked into the office, Ethan approached her, the panic of a businessman trying to remain cool and collected on his face. Whatever he was about to say, it had nothing to do with their personal relationship.
“I completely forgot about the video conference this morning.” He handed Jasmine a manila folder full of papers. “One of the overseas companies we invest in. They requested a meeting last week. I told them we could do it Monday morning. Why did I do that?” He tightened his jacket around his torso and walked back toward his office. “It’s at ten. Go through that. I need you to take notes.”
He disappeared into his office, cell phone attached to his head. Jasmine stood in front of the receptionist’s desk, exchanging a look with Nadia, who quickly looked away.
“Have fun with that,” she said, typing something into her computer. “He’s been on a tear all morning.” No mention of their Friday night phone call.
Jasmine went to her desk and sat down. She flipped open the folder, finding a cover letter describing a hospitality company in Japan. Figures, numbers, and a brief message stating that the meeting was about a possible investment in future expenditures. Sounded boring. Sounded like the kind of thing Ethan did every day, in between calling for Jasmine and getting her on her knees. “I better figure out these names.” Jasmine flipped open the notepad and started writing down the company name and everyone involved. She was terrible when it came to Asian names.
Ten came too soon, and the moment Ethan bounded out of his office Jasmine was up at her desk, grabbing her tablet and following him into the conference room. The flat screen TV on the wall was already turned on. The screen was blue, and Ethan called in one of the other office workers to show him one more time how to operate the device that would patch them through to the other side of the world.
“Thank you,” he said as soon as the man handed him a clicker. “That’s all. Thanks again.”
The office worker left the room, closing the door behind him. Since the walls and door were soundproof, the ringing phones and chatter of the main office were instantly blocked out. Jasmine was finally alone with Ethan, but there was no time to talk. He was messing with the controllers and making sure Jasmine was up to speed. They would have to talk later. Everything was business right now.
One second later the screen flicked to life. Jasmine placed her pen over her tablet and prepared to get carpal tunnel.
The meeting went on for a half hour straight. Although it was only the two of them and two people in Japan, Jasmine never got a break from her writing. Right away everyone jumped to the pleasantries as if it were the most exciting part, exchanging hellos, jokes about the time in Japan – midnight – and how both parties were groggy for different reasons. Jasmine did not expect Ethan to introduce her, but the next thing she knew she was giving an awkward bow over the conference table. The man and woman on the screen nodded back at her. What they thought of her was never conveyed on their faces. Even Ethan Cole could learn a thing or two about the poker face of the Japanese businessperson.
“Make sure you write down everything,” Ethan whispered to Jasmine as the man and woman discussed something to each other quickly. “This is a huge transaction. We must make sure that there are no mistakes.”
Yay! Pressure! Jasmine fished for the cover letter and copied down those names one more time. It did not help that both the man and woman had the same last name. “Which name goes first again?” she hissed back at Ethan.
He looked at her as if she were the one who was supposed to know.
Fine. Jasmine would take one for the team and make an ass out of herself in front of overseas colleagues. “Excuse me, but which one of you is Ack-ee-hero?”
Both the man and the woman looked at her incredulously. Beside her, Ethan froze in his seat, the color drained from his face as she asked such a casual question. “I am,” the man, the middle-aged chairman in glasses said. He was not smiling. “Akihiro.”
Not even close to saying that right. Jasmine cleared her throat. “Thank you. That must mean you’re…” She stared at the other name on the paper. Good Lord. “June-rai.”
“Jun is fine.” Her accent was not as thick as the man’s. “Or Junri.” She explained the correct way to pronounce it. A pen flicked back and for
th in her hand, either amused or annoyed, Jasmine couldn’t tell.
“Sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Eye-soy-ah.”
For the only time during that meeting, the older gentleman’s eyes grew wide, as if he had never heard his family name pronounced that way before. The woman, on the other hand, stifled a laugh behind the back of her hand and avoided the man’s gaze when he turned to her. “It’s Isoya,” she corrected. “And we are not married. The honorable Akihiro Isoya is my uncle.”
“Oh my God!” Jasmine dropped her pen and nearly shot back in her chair. “I’m so sorry!”
Ethan drummed his fingers on the table beside her. His lips were taut, cheeks sucking into his mouth, and his breath steadying as he went through every terrible thing that could possibly happen from now on in his head. Aren’t they the ones asking you for money? She didn’t see why she should get in trouble for this. Especially since she apologized!
