by Cynthia Dane
“Mr. Isoya,” Ethan began, his pronunciation better than Jasmine’s, but still not perfect. “I apologize for my assistant. She’s new.”
How wonderful to be thrown under the bus! “Yes, I’m very sorry.”
Both uncle and niece cleared their throats one more time. “Let’s get started.”
The next half hour was excruciating. Between trying to keep up with the conversation, and writing down everything they said, Jasmine’s arm started to fall off at the ten minute mark. She shook out her hand every few seconds, grateful for when one of the Japanese businesspeople had trouble thinking of a phrase in English. If it was the man, his niece usually jumped in. Jasmine learned to dread her speaking: she was quick, obviously aware of what she was saying, but sometimes her accent grew too thick and Jasmine couldn’t understand anything. Have to be accurate! She couldn’t interrupt everything to ask the woman to repeat herself. That was simply unacceptable, especially when they started throwing around money figures.
Seven hundred and fifty thousand. One million. One and a half million. Neither Ethan nor the representatives of the hospitality business could agree on an investment sum. This meeting was about asking Jackson-Cole for a large investment in a new hotel property in Okinawa. The Japanese company wanted to expand, but first they had to gain capital and the confidence of their investors. The woman presented facts and charts to show how many domestic investors had already signed on, and how much they were investing. Jasmine did not doubt that Ethan already knew whether or not he was going to invest before this meeting began. The question was how much he was willing to put into the company. He wasn’t toying with his personal funds. This was the corporation’s money, and one bad deal could cost him his position. On the other hand, if it ended up being profitable for the company, everyone would call him a genius.
“One of the many perks of investing with our company is the amenities that you will receive with us.” The woman sat up straight, her crisp brown business suit hugging the fine curves of her body – naturally, Ethan stared at her a lot. You like that masculine look? The woman had feminine features and posture, but her style emulated that of a young businessman’s, all the way to the hair cut close to her scalp. Stop staring at her. Jasmine didn’t want to feel jealous over a woman eight thousand miles away. “Not only will you have free lodging at our many hotels in Japan, but you will receive hefty discounts with many of our affiliates around the world.” Odds were Ethan knew this already, but the woman looked as if she would get in trouble if she didn’t mention this.
The door opened. The two Americans looked up to see Nadia step in, handing Ethan a small stack of papers. “Here are those papers you wanted, sir.” Discreet, Nadia remained low behind the chairs so she wouldn’t interrupt the meeting. Too late – especially when she glanced up and caught sight of the people on the screen. “Oh!” She apologized, shook her head, and kept her eyes on both people for far too long. The businesswoman on the screen smiled at the pretty arrival; her uncle glanced between them with a tsk in his throat. Transoceanic flirting.
“One million.” Ethan said it with finality, folding his hands on the conference table as he stared down both man and woman on the screen and Nadia made her great escape. “That is all we will be comfortable separating with for this venture.”
The head bows were immediate. “Thank you, Mr. Cole.” The woman wrote something down on a piece of paper. “We look forward to hosting you the next time you’re in Japan.” Her uncle also gave his thanks, and eventually the meeting ended.
Once the screen went dark, Ethan let out a huge breath and touched his forehead to the table. Jasmine organized the papers. “I didn’t screw it up, did I?” she asked.
Ethan lifted his head. “No. They expect us to screw up. And in return we go even easier on them if they screw up. Otherwise we wouldn’t get anywhere.” He sat up, helping her put the folders back together. “Especially if we have women making eyes at each other through a damn screen,” he mumbled. Jasmine only caught it because she was waiting for it.
“So you know?” She lowered her voice, even though nobody in the office could hear.
“Know what?”
Jasmine stared him down. “About Nadia…”
“I’ve tried telling you before. Not that I should have. But I see that you know now.”
“Yes. I was pretty surprised.”
“How? Everyone in the office could tell she had a crush on you.”
Jasmine couldn’t be shocked, simply because the idea was so absurd. “Liar.”
“Okay, maybe a little.”
Huffing, Jasmine sat back in her seat and waited for Ethan to tell her what to do next. Go type up the notes. Print them out. Make them nice and neat for him and the other members of the board. It would be monotonous, but at least Jasmine would know what she was doing with her day. She didn’t even need Ethan to tell her to spin everything in a positive way. What was a million between partners?
“On that note,” Ethan said, lowering his voice to a murmur. “I wanted to talk to you. About Friday.”
Jasmine froze in her seat. For the duration of the meeting she had been able to forget about that conversation she wanted to have with Ethan. “What about Friday?”
“You seemed rather upset that I was leaving.”
“But what did you want from me? You come over unexpected, seduce me like you always do, make love to me, and then leave? That kind of shit screws with a girl.”
“I know. I only want you to understand that if I had stayed, things probably would’ve gotten weirder.”
“I don’t know how. Things were already weird when you got out of bed and left. Had to inhale cat fur all night to keep me company.”
“Let’s discuss this in my office.”
They gathered their things and exited the conference room, going from the peace and quiet of that soundproof room to the comparable chaos of an executive office on Monday morning. No one but Nadia paid them any mind as they went into Ethan’s office and latched the door behind them. Quiet resumed.
“I suppose you don’t want to hear the answer.” Ethan tossed his folders onto his desk. Yet he did not sit in his plush leather chair. Instead he went to the couch along the wall, tossing himself into it as if he were already worn out from a full week of work. “I needed some time alone to clear my thoughts.”
“Yeah, you seem to need to do that a lot. Jasmine leaned against the closed door, crossing her ankles. “What you don’t get is that you end up hurting people’s feelings in the process. Specifically mine.”
Ethan leaned his elbow against the top of the couch and plastered his hand over his face. “In truth, I never planned to stay the night. I didn’t even plan on having sex with you. I thought I would stay a couple of hours and then go back home.”
“So what happened? My feminine charms proved too much for you?”
He peered at her between his fingers. “I wouldn’t put it that way. But in a way I did fall for you again that night.”
“Again?”
“Haven’t you realized what’s been going on these past few months?” Ethan laughed in derision, as if he couldn’t believe that Jasmine was so obtuse. “Good grief, I’ve been falling for you harder than a block of stone.”
Yet he still won’t say that he loves me. Jasmine wasn’t dense. She had seen the subtle and sometimes not so subtle changes that Ethan had gone through around her. He was softer, kinder, and laughed more than she anticipated. Seeing him gradually open up to her over those past three months was something else entirely. Not just things like the garden, but what he said about his past lovers as well. “And I feel like I’m being punished for it.” Jasmine crossed her arms. “I don’t like being jerked around like this. I’m either your girlfriend for real, or I’m that woman you hired for sex. You can’t have both. I can’t have you emotionally jerk me around one moment and then expect me to come to you when you want.” At least she wasn’t going to cry. At least sh
e had some dignity that Monday morning. “Pick one, Ethan. Tell me where I stand in your life. I can be your friend to an extent, but if you want more of my heart, you’ll have to stop self-sabotaging everything all the time.”
“Sabotage.” Ethan lowered his hand. “That’s a good word for it.”
“So you know you’re doing it?”
He sat up on the couch and leaned against his knees. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I sabotage my relationships — if you can call them that – so I won’t be surprised in the end.”
“Well, you’re picking up women as you see them and giving them millions of dollars to entertain you for a few months. That sort of thing doesn’t start relationships off well.” Jasmine pushed herself off the door and walked halfway across the room to Ethan. “So I would really appreciate it if you didn’t break down my walls one second and make me put them back up again the next. Seduce me into your bed if you want, but don’t…”
“Sit down.” Ethan interrupted her to pat the seat next to him. “There’s something I want to discuss with you.”
At first Jasmine wasn’t going to move. She had worked herself back up to anger, the terrible emotion that only made her want to throw something on the ground. How dare he interrupt her? But then she saw that pleading look on his face, a look that he did not often share with others. Jasmine supposed that she should feel special for ever getting to see it herself. Fine. She sat on the other end of the couch, keeping a respectable distance between herself and Ethan. “What is it?”
“You are right. It’s not fair what I’m doing. I’m usually not like this at all. I’m straightforward, demanding even. It works great in the business world. Not so much in personal relationships. And you’re right when you say that I should choose what I want from you. I suppose I’m afraid to do so.”
“And I always hear that women are the ones who can’t make up their minds?” Jasmine couldn’t help but smile. She was still smiling even when Ethan reached into his inside pocket and pulled out another black felt box that she was becoming so familiar with.
Ethan ignored her comment. “I spent most of this weekend trying to decide what it is that I really want. I won’t lie to you, Jasmine. I have enjoyed having you in my life. There’s something about your wit and personality that makes me want to be around you more. But I also can’t ignore the type of person I am, and probably always will be. When I think about us, I realize more and more that it would be great to spend more time with you like we already do. Last Friday night was a new kind of fun for me. I haven’t done something like that in so long, which must sound weird to hear. I want to do more of that. With you.”
Don’t get wrapped up in it. Jasmine held a hand to her heart and tried to force his words away from it. You just get hurt. Every time.
“But something else nags at me. A while ago I told you that I’m not into a lifestyle type of thing when it comes to my sexual predilections. I still feel that way. I think we were getting our wires crossed when it came to this.” He ran his thumb over the box in his hand. “Even here in the office, the lines keep blurring between me exerting my domination in a sexual atmosphere and wanting to forget all about it. You and I, we need a firm line drawn between the two.”
Jasmine’s mouth was dry. When she spoke, her tongue smacked against the roof of her mouth and threatened to foul up every word. “I can agree to that.”
Ethan passed her the box. Although his face was confident, his hand shook a little.
A necklace. A pair of earrings. A barrette. Each of those items fit snugly into their boxes. Jasmine couldn’t tell what was in this one: fat, squared, and heavy in her hands. She was almost afraid to open it — because right now, she had never been more afraid of the unknown.
She lifted the lid. Inside the box twinkled a red necklace, completely unlike the first one he had given her. That one was thin, dainty. This was fat and scarlet, a small circle that hooked in the back with a golden clasp. Jasmine lifted it out of the box and saw a tiny ruby dangling from the center.
That’s when she knew what it was.
“A choker.” Disbelief clouded her face as her hand turned as red as the necklace. “No.” There was an engraving on the inside. Jasmine peered at it, sucking in her breath as she saw her name imprinted into the soft leather. At least he didn’t put his name there. “A collar.”
“I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
“Wrong idea?” The ruby jingled as Jasmine shook her hand. “For God’s sake, Ethan, how am I supposed to take this? This is for a dog!”
He breathed deeply. “I was afraid you wouldn’t recognize it.”
“Recognize what, a dog collar?”
“No, not for a dog. For a sub.”
Jasmine didn’t know whether to yell at him, to throw the stupid thing in his face, or to sit and cry. None of the options were very appealing. “You just told me you weren’t into that lifestyle thing, and here we are, me holding this piece of crap in my hands.”
“Please, listen for a second. I know you’ve never been involved in that sort of thing, so you don’t know what it means. I’m not trying to say that you’re a dog.” Ethan slapped his hand against his knee and leaned forward. “Of course it’s a lifestyle thing. But it doesn’t have to be. For some people it symbolizes when those moments happen. You’ve heard of scenes, right?”
Jasmine shook her head. She was still too upset to speak.
“Scenes are when those certain moments happen. You know which ones I mean.”
“Fine.”
“When the collar is on, it’s time for a scene. When it’s off, it doesn’t happen.”
“And how does this reflect on our relationship?”
“I was thinking… if part of the problem is having a clear distinction between being on and off, then there needs to be a way to signal it. Lots of couples do it this way.”
“I’ve heard of this.” Jasmine wasn’t immune to pop culture as of late. “It’s called being collared, right?”
“If you want to call it that.”
“This is the exact opposite of romantic, I hope you know that.” Before Ethan could say anything in his defense, Jasmine continued, “And quite frankly, I wish you had discussed this with me first before buying the fucking collar.” It was still in her hand, taunting her. “I can safely say that I was not expecting this. Who would? Damnit, Ethan.”
“I’m sorry for any offense I’ve caused. You can give it back.”
She almost did. She almost shoved the box back into Ethan’s hands and departed the office. He would deserve it. How can one man be so emotionally stupid? What made him think that this was a good idea? Livid, Jasmine yanked the choker out of its box and dangled it in front of her eyes. Her name was exquisite on the leather, but she attributed that to the master craftsman who did it. “Well you’ve made it clear what you think of me.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No? Because that’s how it came out.” The collar rested on her hand. It was surprisingly soft against her skin. Clearly meant to be worn permanently, or at least for most of the day. How often will he ask me to wear this? Is this where the real money comes in? She didn’t like how cool to the touch it was. The longer she stared at it, the more she was drawn in to that beautiful little ruby dangling in the center. “I agree with you that we need boundaries. I’m just not sure if this is how I want to go about it.”
Conflicted, Jasmine shook out her head and tried to keep her wits about her. Maybe if they had segued into this. But Ethan had sprung it on her out of nowhere.
A part of her was attracted to the idea deep inside. To know that the moment she put on that collar that she should be on her guard. When the collar was off, she could wear her heart on her sleeve. But what if he asks me to wear it every time we have sex? Well, at least Jasmine would finally know where she stood with him.
She lifted the scarlet collar around her neck and latched it just beneath some fine hai
rs. “What are you doing?” Ethan asked.
Jasmine looked askance at him. “Before I decide whether or not to go through with this with you, I want to know. Let’s have a scene right now.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah, sub me up. Give me a taste of what you’re like when you’re treating me like a sex doll.” She was on the verge of belligerent. “That way I know how to dissociate it from you treating me like a human being. Which is my preference, by the way.”
“Jasmine, I don’t think you’re a – ”
“Not a sex doll, sure. You’ve said that before. Almost convinced me once or twice. Then you whip out a collar and say you want to put it on me to signify when we’re playing like that. You want to turn me into your sex doll.”
