He moved without thinking. Jonathan grunted in pain the moment Timothy’s fist collided into his jaw, drawing the attention of the others in the club. Timothy didn’t look at them. He towered over Jonathan, clenching his fist to keep from doing something stupid once more. “Don’t you ever speak such atrocities about her again,” he warned lowly.
Jonathan dragged his gaze away from the floor to meet Timothy’s eyes. The flame that burned within them would have scorched him into ashes if he wasn’t wielding a flame of his own. They glared at each other, Jonathan still seated with a few fingers touching his now-swelling cheek.
No matter how much he glared at him though, the anger swirling in him wouldn’t diminish. His hand itched to punch something again as the words Jonathan had the gall to say echoed in his head. Timothy knew that if he stuck around any longer, he was bound to do something foolish so he backed away. He considered saying something but as the seconds went by, he couldn’t figure out what to say. So he just turned and left, leaving a seething Jonathan staring after him.
Chapter 21
Matilda was in a conundrum. There was no going around it. She simply did not know what to do. She didn’t know how to deal with the emotions coursing within her. So she took a few days to sort it out.
She knew it was killing Timothy. She saw it in his face, the slight desperation to hear her say something that would relieve him of his guilt, an indication that she was no longer upset with him. But Matilda had only given him a curt nod and went away, a part of her knowing that she could have given him at least a smile to ease the tension between them, but the smaller yet stronger part of her was afraid of how much her defenses would fall if she had allowed even that much.
Now, she didn’t plan on there being any defenses.
She had given it some thought. Day and night, she stared at the necklace he’d given her. At times, she was taken aback by how brazen it was, and she wondered if he thought her to be no better than a prostitute. Those thoughts only lasted a moment however, because Matilda, if she didn’t know anything else, knew that Timothy was much more gentlemanly than that. Surely he had given her this out of the goodness of his heart, wanting to see her eyes dazzle the way the gemstone did.
It had taken a while for her to realize that. As she laid in bed at night, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling, watching once more as Timothy entered the drawing room, Matilda felt her heart melt into mush. A sappy smile washing over when his eyes lit up at the very sight of her, the way he had respectfully acknowledged her mother. The boldness in his move, yet not overshadowing how timid he clearly was to be there. How shy he felt.
Matilda placed a hand over her chest, a blush spreading across her cheeks.
How can one gentleman be so confident yet so shy?
In that moment, he had hardly looked like the very same person who had kissed her in her garden, in front of her maid, in broad daylight. He didn’t look like the same gentleman who held her gently against him while a brimming ball was merely a few feet away. But, then again, Matilda could hardly recognize herself either. When she looked in the mirror, she no longer saw the proper lady with the head full of curls she tried desperately to tame. More and more, she was beginning to see her former self, the one unmarred by the trauma that was yet to unfold. The one who had such high hopes for herself, who had lived her life with such wild abandon.
Matilda didn’t know when she had locked her away. She always thought she was still there, hiding under the mask of the incredibly proper lady she needed to be in order to support Elizabeth. She thought she could pull her out at any moment, allow her to explore the world the way she saw fit. Now, Matilda knew she had trapped her inside for so long that she no longer knew what it felt like to let her hair down.
It shouldn’t bother her quite this much. That was what she told herself at first. So what if that lady was no longer around? The one who stood now was better for everyone, for Elizabeth especially. She had to make sure that her image didn’t affect her sister and in order to do that, properness was key. It would do well to remember that.
So why does it bother me this much?
Matilda reached up to the necklace hanging around her neck, feeling the crystals between her fingers. She didn’t think anyone would notice her new piece of jewelry, but now that they were once again standing around waiting for Elizabeth to be ready, Matilda felt like it was shining against her skin, begging to be seen. They were attending yet another ball, which Matilda was almost positive Timothy would also be attending. She still hadn’t figure out what she wanted to do.
“Matilda?”
“Hm?” She whirled to face her father who materialized out of the darkness of the hallway. He was limping when he did so but Matilda’s initial worry melted when she saw the reason he was doing so.
Jackson had his legs and arms wrapped around his leg. The Viscount looked both annoyed and amused. Matilda giggled behind her hand.
“I think you have something stuck to your leg, Father,” she pointed out.
“Do I now?” he bent down, trying to pry Jackson off to no avail. “He clung to me the moment I left my study and he just won’t let go.”
Matilda laughed again. She bent closer to Jackson. “Jackson, sweetheart, is something wrong?”
“I want to go with Mommy,” Jackson pouted.
“You can’t attend the ball, dear. Only adults can attend.”
“But no one will even notice me! I’ll stay quiet just like you taught me to!” To prove his point, he put a finger over his mouth.
“Wow, you are great at staying quiet, are you?” Matilda gently pried Jackson off her father’s leg. “Why don’t we have our own ball when we get back? We can use all your stuffed toys and have dances and music. How does that sound? Mommy will be there.”
At the mention of his mother, Jackson’s face lit up. “Yes!”
Matilda smiled broadly. “Good boy. Now go on with Miss West. We’ll be back later, all right?”
“All right.” Miss West, who had been hovering behind the Viscount, stepped up and took Jackson’s hand. Everyone except Jackson knew that by the time they got back, he would be fast asleep.
“Matilda,” her father said. It would only be the three of them attending tonight’s ball, though Matilda felt like she would feel her mother’s absence more than she normally did. “Tomorrow morning come to my study. There is something I would like to discuss with you.”
“Can you tell me what it’s about?”
He sighed. He took her hand in his, then the other. “My precious daughter. Every time I look at you, I’m filled with such regret.”
She didn’t have to ask to know what he was referring to. She simply squeezed his hand, letting him know that she was all right. “I’m made of strong stuff, Father,” she told him with a smile. “I couldn’t be your daughter if I wasn’t.”
He chuckled, the deep sound reverberating around the foyer. “That’s right. You have always been the strongest one out of all of us.”
“Sounds like you’re including yourself in that as well. And here I thought you were the strongest person I know.” He smiled at her tease, but it was tinged with sadness. Matilda was alarmed by it. “Father…”
“Tomorrow morning. My study. Don’t forget.”
And, almost like a last minute decision, he leaned closer and pressed a kiss on her cheek. Matilda froze. Her father was a lot of things, but he was not affectionate. He didn’t express his love through hugs and kisses and kind words. He did so through teasing and laughter. Matilda stared at him when he pulled away, trying to catch his eye, but he stepped away and turned toward the staircase, just in time for Elizabeth to descend.
“Ah, the apple of my eye!” he exclaimed. “The reason I exist! My lovely, lovely daughter.”
And he was back to the jesting father she knew and loved. Matilda shoved the confused, frightened thoughts away and fell back into the rhythm they had for years. “Father, it looks like I’m going to need to get you a pair of spect
acles. You’re looking in the wrong direction.”
“Oh, Matilda? I didn’t see you standing there.”
Elizabeth burst out laughing at the banter just as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She reached a hand out to Matilda, which she took warmly. “Matilda, you look absolutely stunning!”
“As do you, Elizabeth,” Matilda said with a smile. “Now, shall we get going before we arrive too late to find the ball to be over?”
“I took much too long to get ready, didn’t I? I simply couldn’t decide on what necklace I should wear.” Elizabeth’s eyes fell on the one hanging from Matilda’s neck. “How lovely, Matilda!”
“Thank you.” She turned away, not wanting to entertain the conversation any further. Elizabeth said nothing more about it.
That was, not until they were well on their way to the ball. “Do you like it?” Elizabeth asked her.
Matilda frowned, not sure what exactly she was talking about. “Do I like what?”
Elizabeth’s eyes moved so quickly, darting down at the necklace that Matilda nearly missed it. “Oh. Yes, I love it.”
“It’s a well thought out piece, don’t you think? I wonder where it was made.”
“It makes little sense to wonder about such things.”
“That is true. Many times, you simply have to let things be. Am I right, Father?”
“I’m not sure what you two are talking about, but yes, sweetheart.”
Elizabeth smiled. Matilda stared at her. She didn’t do this very often, but when she did, she was as cryptic as a jigsaw puzzle. Her smile was knowing, as if she could sense the intention behind the necklace.
“Matilda?”
“Yes, Elizabeth?”
“You can do whatever you want.”
Matilda looked at her. Elizabeth was staring out the window, but when Matilda’s gaze fell on her, she turned to face it. She smiled brightly. “Whatever you want,” she repeated.
Matilda could hardly believe her ears. She knew what Elizabeth was doing.
“Elizabeth, please do not give Matilda any ideas,” their father butt in. “We all know she is likely to do something crazy like ride a horse through the Square.”
Elizabeth giggled. They went off into a conversation that Matilda hardly heard. She only stared at her sister, her sweet, sweet sister who, as naive and pure as she was, was much too smart for her own good.
Slowly, she turned to the window once more, her hand reaching up to her necklace. She had fooled herself. All this time, she had obsessed over what she should do—if she should take a chance with Timothy or do what was expected of her. Matilda knew what she was going to do.
She wouldn’t have put this necklace on otherwise.
Chapter 22
Matilda saw Timothy the moment he entered the room. He did so alone and was nearly immediately approached by a few other dukes that were nearby. Matilda watched him openly, not caring if someone saw her. She doubted anyone would take the time out to see what she was doing anyway.
She looked around him, noting that neither Lord Crauford nor Lady Nancy were around him, which was actually an odd sight considering either one or the other was always by his side. Matilda considered it good luck on her part. Would he come over when he saw her?
She couldn’t contain the excitement building within her. Matilda wanted desperately to march over to him and ask him for a dance. Or, better yet, march over there and claim his lips as hers. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and forget about the world around them, sink into the wild abandon as she would in her youth.
Just the sight of him filled her with such need she could barely contain it. She wanted her arms around him, her lips on his, his own hands running down her waist to her hips. She knew such thoughts weren’t inappropriate, but instead of blushing, Matilda stood a little taller. She knew her eyes were filling with the emotions she shouldn’t show, filling with the yearning that was incredibly inappropriate. But Matilda was tired of being appropriate. For once, she wanted to have something. She wanted Timothy to have her.
I want you. I want your lips, your touch, your arms around me. I want to give myself the very thing I’ve been avoiding all this time.
As if sensing her thoughts, Timothy’s gaze met her. He blinked, taken aback for a moment. Perhaps shocked by the intensity of her longing, something she didn’t care to hold back right now. Or maybe he was surprised to see her staring, when she had basically made it look like she wanted nothing more to do with him. Matilda didn’t know and in a moment, she didn’t care.
Suddenly, the room fell away. They were the only two people in existence, alive with passion and smoldering under the heat they had for each other. Timothy murmured something to the people standing around him, not taking his eyes off her for a second. Then, he began making his way in her direction.
Matilda faced him fully, anticipating. Though it took him a mere matter of seconds to arrive, it felt like ages. It felt like forever since she’d last seen his face.
“Miss Jones,” he breathed.
“Your Grace,” she murmured.
Matilda saw the struggle within him to tear his eyes away long enough to acknowledge her father. He had been standing by her side all this time, completely unaware of the exchange happening between his daughter and the Duke. “Your Grace,” he greeted with a broad smile. “It seems we are fated to run into each other no matter where we go.”
Matilda smiled a little at that. She could say the same about them.
“It seems so, My Lord. However, this time, it was planned. I came to see if Miss Jones would honor me with a dance.”
“I would love to.” She didn’t give her father the chance to respond on her behalf. Maybe she answered too quickly but she could hardly help herself.
Suddenly, the Viscount disappeared. So did the world around her. When Timothy reached a hand out to her, they were the only two people on this earth, swaying to a tune that only they could hear. She released a low breath when he took her hand in his, when he drew her close. She couldn’t help but wish she could be closer, but for now, this would have to suffice.
“I must admit, Miss Jones. You confuse me.”
She smiled at that. The world blended back into focus and she could once again hear the undertone of chatter within the music. “I must admit to you, Your Grace. I confuse myself as well. Since meeting you I’ve been incredibly confused.”
“Oh? How so?”
There was so much she wanted to say, so much she felt she needed to get over her chest and out into the open. But now was neither the time nor the place.
If I do, I might end up telling him how much his fingers on the small of my back makes me want to kiss him.
“If I respond to that now, we’ll be here all night.”
“Well then, good. I’m always looking for a reason to spend more time with you.”
She chuckled at that. “I never noticed it before but you are quite the flirt, Your Grace. It’s a wonder you haven’t had other ladies vying for your hand because of it.”
“I don’t make it a habit of speaking fondly with other ladies. Not in the same manner as I do with you.”
She looked up at him, into his brilliant eyes. “I’m sure there’s an exception to that. What about Lady Nancy?”
For a brief moment, Matilda thought she saw something move in his eyes. It was so quick, she wondered if she’d imagined it. “Lady Nancy is a different story. She is the sister to my oldest friend. I’ve known her since we were both children.”
“There’s no need to explain,” she said softly. “I could already tell that you two are close.”
“Enough about her.” He swirled her with a little more force than before, drawing a gasp from her lips. “I want to know what this means. I don’t want to be confused anymore.”
A shred of guilt lanced her at that statement. “You know that wasn’t my intention.”
“I’m not accusing you. If anything, I understand your confliction. You know I do.”
&n
bsp; And it was because she knew he did was why she was so comfortable with saying what she was about to say next. “The fence surrounding the gardens has a loose ply. The ground around it is soft and so it sinks a little into the ground, making that part of the fence shorter than the rest. It should be easy enough for a man of your stature to jump over.”
“Miss Jones…”
“You should come when the night is asleep. I will be waiting for you.”
At that moment, the song ended and they were forced to stop dancing. Timothy, however, didn’t take his eyes off her. She could tell he was shocked by her words, and so was she, though she had spent quite some time before spotting him, mulling it over. It filled her with such excitement, she could barely manage to keep the smile off her face.
The Scandalous Secret 0f The Tempting Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 16
