“It is something important. It has to do with the company.”
“What about it?”
“You’re aware that His Grace and I have been conducting meetings in order to solidify the partnership we are looking to building, right?”
“That’s right.”
“When I asked you about it beforehand, you gave me a very well-informed response. It allowed me to see the potential you may have in helping me with the company. Now I know you won’t be able to be a part of it in an official capacity but—”
“Father?”
“Yes?”
“I think I know where you’re heading with this. And the answer is, thank you, but no.”
He leaned back in his chair, surprised. “No?”
Matilda nodded. “You’re very kind, Father. I know you are only doing this because you know there is no hope of me getting married and you only want to give me some purpose in life.”
“That is quite a fanciful way of putting it, but I suppose there’s no going around you with this.”
She smiled softly. “Which is why I say you’re terribly kind. But, I simply have no interest in the company whatsoever. I wouldn’t be as good at it as you think I will.”
“You only have to try it out to see. How about you take on a few tasks? We can see if you’re really capable of doing what I believe you can.”
“I appreciate the offer, Father, but I don’t want to. I have no interest in it. I’m sorry.”
“No, no,” he waved his hand dismissively. “There’s no need for apologies. I understand. I suppose I was trying to force something onto you through my own fears.”
“It’s been years, Father. Surely you have come to terms with my fate like I have. I’m not dead, am I? And I don’t think I’ll die in the near future for not being able to marry and have a family, either.”
“You speak lightly about it, but you know it is much more serious than that.”
“I know,” she said solemnly. “And I know it hurts you as well. Your only wish was to have your daughters married to good gentlemen. You didn’t even care about status or benefits. You simply want us to be happy. I am happy, Father.”
“Are you?”
“I must admit that this isn’t the way I thought my life would go. I did think I would one day have the things you wanted for me. But I’m quite content with seeing Elizabeth married to someone who treats her like the princess that she is.”
Her father sighed. “I suppose there is nothing I can do then.”
“There’s nothing that you need to do. Except love and cherish us as you’ve always done.” With that said, Matilda rose brushing off her skirts out of habit. “If that’s all you wanted of me, I’m going to go check on my roses. Do you see that, Father? Another thing that makes me happy.”
He chuckled lightly as she made her leave. Matilda closed the door behind her and sighed lowly. It grew harder and harder to lie to him each time this topic was brought up but Matilda didn’t think she had a choice. He would only blame himself for the things that happened, things that were honestly out of his control.
But the truth was, she did want all those things. Not the chance to participate with the company, but a family, children. She wanted to be the lady to her daughter as her mother had been to her. A friend and a mother all in one. But Matilda couldn’t allow herself to think of such things because the things she wanted were impossible to get.
* * *
A week passed. Matilda didn’t leave the manor except once when Elizabeth had a potential suitor invite her for a stroll. She acted as chaperone but her attention was miles away from the couple walking before them. It was on Timothy, wondering where he was, what he was doing, if he would appear out of nowhere like he did the last time. He didn’t show and Matilda tried to mask the disappointment she felt, though she knew it was a slim possibility.
He did arrive at the manor for another meeting with her father but when they met each other in the hallway, there was always someone else around. Whether it be her father, or Elizabeth, or even Jackson who would watch Timothy from a distance with wary eyes.
Which was why Matilda was so excited for the upcoming ball. She would be able to see him, dance with him, perhaps even slip away discreetly to meet with him in private.
“Miss?” her maid peeped her head back into the room after only leaving a few seconds before. She was finished preparing for the ball and now, as per usual, Matilda only had to wait until Elizabeth was ready. She tried not to let impatience set in too deeply.
“Yes?”
“Your sister has asked for you. It sounded very urgent.”
“All right.” Matilda didn’t bother to rush. An urgent matter to Elizabeth was picking out the right dress for the ball, nothing she needed to hurry about.
Matilda made her way to her sister’s room. The door was ajar and she could hear her high, frantic voice on the other side. She pushed it open to see her sister sitting at her vanity table with her lady’s maid standing behind her, both wearing frowns of worry.
“Elizabeth,” Matilda said coming further into the room. “Is something the matter?”
“Oh, Matilda! Yes!” Elizabeth whirled to face her. Her cheeks were already pinkened, her hair done up in an elegant coif. The only thing she had left to do was to put on her dress. “I can’t decide which necklace I should wear. Do you think I should wear this elegant pearl one or this with the simple pendant?”
Matilda sighed. Just as she had expected. She looked at Elizabeth’s lady’s maid who, though she was certainly used to such behavior, looked to be at a loss of what to do. “I can take it from here,” she told her.
“Yes, Miss,” the lady’s maid muttered and scurried out the room.
Matilda made her way over to Elizabeth’s bed and sat. “What’s the matter, Elizabeth?”
“What do you mean? I already told you. I can’t decide between—unless you think I shouldn’t wear either one of them. Do you think they’re ugly? Should I choose something else?”
Matilda watched as Elizabeth faced her mirror, putting the necklaces against her throat. She waited a beat, allowed her sister to get out a bit more of her frantic behavior before saying, “You don’t normally act so neurotic. Usually you’re only half of how you’re acting now.”
Elizabeth whirled to face her. “Oh, Matilda, I’m so nervous!”
“About tonight’s ball?”
“Yes! Do you remember the gentleman who came to call on me a few days ago?”
To be honest with herself, Matilda wouldn’t have been able to pick him out in a crowd. “Is he why you’re nervous? Did he say something to upset you that day?”
“No, no, it was absolutely perfect. I can’t wait to see him again tonight so I have to be perfect. The perfect dress, the perfect hair, and, the perfect accessories. So which pair of earrings do you think will bring out the color in my eyes?”
Matilda laughed to herself. She was surprised to see that Elizabeth was smitten with yet another gentleman. Her naïveté just might be the death of her one day. “In that case, the pearl necklace looks divine on you.”
“Do you think?” Ecstatic, Elizabeth whirled back to the mirror. “Oh, Matilda, I’ve never been so happy in my life. Who knew the Season could be so fun? I wish the feeling I have right now would last forever.”
“So do I.”
Elizabeth’s head shot up, pausing in the process of clipping her necklace on. “Pardon me?”
“I didn’t say anything,” Matilda said quickly. “You must have misheard me.”
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. She got to her feet, not taking her eyes off Matilda for a second. Matilda couldn’t tear her eyes away from her. “You … this has something to do with the Duke, doesn’t it? His Grace? I saw you two dancing with each other at the last ball.”
“Elizabeth, it has nothing to do with His Grace. I think he’s a good gentleman but he and I are nothing but friends.”
“Friends?” Elizabeth sank onto the bed ne
xt to her, brows raised in the air. “Since when did you two become friends?”
“He…” Matilda struggled to come up with a suitable lie. Being battered by Elizabeth like this was never a good thing. “He does come to the manor often to see Father. I only happen to see him a few times and we’ve exchanged pleasantries.”
“Exchanged pleasantries?” Elizabeth asked, lowering her voice. “Or kisses?”
Matilda gasped. “Elizabeth!”
“Oh, I’m only jesting with you, Matilda. There’s no need to take me seriously. Unless I’m right?”
Matilda hesitated to respond. It wouldn’t be so bad to tell Elizabeth about her relationship with Timothy, would it? She was her sister! They shared everything with each other and she knew Elizabeth would be happy for her no matter what she did. “You’re right,” she said after a moment.
“Exactly, so there’s no need for you to get so worked up about me… wait a moment, did I hear you correctly? Did you say you I was right?”
Matilda nodded, a devilish smile spreading across her face. Elizabeth squealed. “Matilda, I can’t believe you!”
“Shush! We don’t want to alarm Father and have him come running. It’s not such a serious matter anyway.”
“Not such a serious matter? Let me see if I’m understanding this correctly. You and the Duke have been courting all this time?”
“Well … not officially. It’s a little more complicated than that. But I’ve decided that I’m going to stop denying my feelings for him.”
The elation on Elizabeth’s face was contagious. “And you’ve been hiding this from me all this time? Matilda, I can’t believe you did that! You’re so sly.”
“Oh, heavens, Elizabeth. Let’s not pretend like you didn’t pick up that something might be going on between us.”
“Well, truthfully, I was only speculating because I hoped that something was. You two look so great together and I just want you to be happy.”
“You know your happiness comes first, Elizabeth. I’m a spinster, remember? Ladies like us don’t get married.”
“But they can find love,” Elizabeth insisted. “And look at you. You found love, haven’t you?”
Matilda needn’t respond to that. She knew Elizabeth could read her like an open book. Instead, she said, “I hope you can keep this a secret from Father?”
“Of course! He’s so focused on this Season that I doubt he’s even entertained the idea of a gentleman wanting to court you. No offense.”
“Absolutely none taken.”
“Will you see him tonight?”
“I hope so. He told me he will be attending.”
“Oh, my heart is so full right now, I could die happy. Does he treat you well?”
“Come now, Elizabeth. You know your sister is smarter than to fall for a man who doesn’t.”
“You’re right about that. Then, we shouldn’t be wasting time talking in here, should we? We have a ball to attend!”
Elizabeth shot to her feet and hurried back over to the vanity table. Matilda couldn’t help laughing at the way she went about putting on the rest of her jewelry, with a pep in her step that hadn’t been there before. She was happy to have told her everything. It felt nice having someone else know, especially when that someone else would always be on her side.
Despite her efforts to move faster, Elizabeth wasn’t prepared for the ball until nearly an hour later. By that time, both her parents were waiting in the drawing room—because, according to Stephen, they had grown weary of standing around. The irritation was kept to a minimum however and Matilda was still in very high spirit when she left for the ball.
What would her father say when he found out about them? Matilda couldn’t imagine that he would be terribly upset. Everyone in the household knew that he had resigned himself into thinking that there was no more hope for Matilda, that her scandal had eradicated whatever chance she had at marriage and a family. But, to Matilda, that didn’t mean he was against the idea if the chance ever reared its head again. If anything, Matilda thought he would jump at the chance to have both his daughters married and happy as originally intended.
Not to mention the fact that it was the Duke of Brentminster. A catch, one that—though he made it clear without words that he wasn’t looking for a wife—was wanted by every eligible lady in London. To think that the ruined mother with the child out of wedlock was the one he would marry… why, the ton would have quite a day with such juicy gossip.
It was all working out and Matilda couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been this happy. The only thing she had to contend with now was revealing the truth to Timothy, which she knew she had to do sooner or later. But Timothy was an understanding man. He would see why she did what she had to do, and why she had led him on for long.
It will all work out. I am sure of it.
Chapter 25
Timothy didn’t plan to make the same mistakes he made last time. Or, rather than calling them mistakes, he supposed he didn’t want to go through the same trouble he had to go through every other time he spotted Matilda from across the room. They always seemed to position themselves away from each other, where he would have to go over to her or, like that one time, she had to go over to him. He planned to cut that part out entirely.
That was until he was sought out by the Earl of Ferbriand, urging him to dance with Lady Nancy. He had been standing in line at the entrance to the ballroom, where he would be able to clearly see when Matilda walked into the room. She would spot him too and, once the Viscount noticed him, that would take care of the rest. But he couldn’t turn the Earl down, so as he swayed Lady Nancy around the room, he tried his best to see over the heads of people for the arrival of the lady he truly wanted to be next to.
“Is something the matter, Your Grace?” Lady Nancy asked.
Timothy dragged his eyes back to her, snapping himself into focus. Lady Nancy was bound to notice when his mind strayed. “Nothing at all, My Lady,” he told her. “Are you enjoying yourself?”
She didn’t respond. It took Timothy a moment to notice that his mind, and his eyes, had wandered again and he pulled himself together, noticing that she was still silent. “My Lady?”
“You’ve asked me that three times already, Your Grace,” Lady Nancy said softly. She kept her head to the side so he couldn’t quite see her expression. “That would make it the fourth time.”
“Oh, my apologies. I was… my mind was wandering to other matters that have been plaguing me lately.”
“Do you mind sharing them with me?” Finally, she lifted her head, peering up at him with such hope that it broke his heart to see it.
“These aren’t matters a lady such as yourself should concern herself with,” he told her.
“That may be so,” she responded. “But I will be your wife soon. I would like for you to be able to speak to me. You can unload yourself on me, Your Grace.”
Timothy didn’t know what to say. Everything that came to his mind was a lie and anything else would be too cruel to say to her in a place like this. Her good intentions and the feelings she harbored in her heart for him were too much to bear. He didn’t know how much longer he could last lying to her like this.
“Is it so serious a matter that you cannot tell me, Your Grace?” she asked him.
He released a low breath of relief, happy that he wasn’t being forced to respond to her guilt-inducing statement. “It is.”
“Is this the same matter you said you had to deal with prior to setting the wedding date?”
What else could he say to her than “Yes”?
Lady Nancy nodded. “I understand, Your Grace.”
She didn’t. He could hear it in her voice. She was concerned for him, confused by his distance and his silence, and Timothy could tell she was beginning to wonder about them. And he wanted nothing more than to run.
He knew it was a cowardly move and Timothy was no coward. But faced with such a fragile, yet beautiful human being who would be crushed if he said t
he things he truly wanted to say, he couldn’t help but falter a bit. He knew lying to her wasn’t the answer, and the longer he dragged it along, the harder it would be for everyone involved. He knew that and yet he couldn’t bring himself to face it.
At least, not right now. He was to meet with the Earl over a few matters concerning their respective businesses and the merger once Timothy and Lady Nancy were married. He could say it to him then. He hoped that would assuage the shame of lying to her face like this.
“I have something I would like to ask you, Your Grace.”
The Scandalous Secret 0f The Tempting Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 18
