All those thoughts and feelings bombarded her at once and as she rose to greet him, Matilda was a bit unsteady on her feet. She met his eyes, expecting to see what she normally saw in them. Longing, need. Instead, she saw concealed anger.
“Your Grace,” she greeted, frowning. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”
“I’m sorry to bombard you like this, Miss Jones. I know you were not expecting me.” Stiffly, he turned to Elizabeth. “Miss Jones.”
“Your Grace,” Elizabeth greeted.
Timothy’s eyes lingered on her. Matilda frowned, watching as his own frown deepened and his gaze lowered to Jackson, who was now aware of his presence and was burrowing his face into his mother’s side. Timothy stared at the pair for a few moments then blinked as if he remembered why he was here.
He turned back to Matilda. “I’m sorry, Miss Jones, but there is something I must ask you. Something important.”
“Oh.” Matilda wasn’t sure what to make of that. She couldn’t think of what he could possibly want to ask her right now, but to be honest with herself, when he was around looking the way he did now, she could hardly think at all. “Well, why don’t you have a seat while I have the butler fetch us some tea?”
Timothy said nothing as he sat. When he did, he was facing Louisa who hadn’t even turned to acknowledge him. Timothy said nothing either. He only stared at Matilda’s mother, his gaze growing thoughtful as his frown deepened even more.
Matilda couldn’t understand why he was like this. “While we wait for the tea, Your Grace, what is it you would like to ask me?”
Timothy took a deep breath. Matilda steeled herself. “It is about your son, Miss Jones. He is not really your son at all, is he?”
“W-what?” Matilda’s eyes shot to Elizabeth. Her sister looked just as taken aback. “What would cause you to think that, Your Grace?”
“I had a word with the Duke of Dunstead. He told me that you were not the lady he seduced. Instead, he told me that you spurned his advances and because of that, he looked to your sister.” Slowly, Timothy swept his gaze across the room until his eyes landed on a shell-shocked Elizabeth. “He told me that the lady who bore his child was not you, Miss Jones, but your sister instead.”
“That’s …”
Nonsense!
The word was right on the tip of her tongue. It was what she was expected to say, if anyone were to ever find out the truth, but Matilda couldn’t bring herself to say it. Instead, she said, “I thought you were going to leave the matter alone, Your Grace.”
“I couldn’t. And I’m not sorry for it. The Duke got what he deserved by my hands and I happened to learn the truth in the meantime.”
“By your hands? What do you mean by that?”
“Are you asking me because you don’t want to answer my question?”
“It didn’t sound much like a question to me, rather than a statement you already believe to be true.”
“If it isn’t true, you simply have to tell me it isn’t.”
Matilda opened her mouth, ready to argue. She could tell Timothy was angry and she could tell that anger was directed at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie. She didn’t want to lie. Not anymore.
But this wasn’t how she had expected to tell him the truth. She had hoped they would meet in secret where she would be able to tell him everything she kept from him. Now, she had an audience, the very same people who would be affected if she were to admit to his words right now.
“Your Grace.” Both Matilda and Timothy looked at Elizabeth. “What you heard is true. Jackson is my child.”
“Elizabeth!”
“My sister allowed everyone to believe it was hers to protect me. She knew what such news would do to me and so she took the scandal upon herself in hopes that I would still be elegible for a good marriage. Still, everything the Duke told you is correct.” She smiled sadly, running her hand over her son’s hair. “And since we are all being honest, my sister told me of your feelings for her. And of hers for you. She wanted to be honest, but to protect me, she knew she couldn’t.”
“Elizabeth, that’s enough.” Matilda’s sharp words drew Timothy’s attention back to her. She sighed and looked at him. “What she says is true, Your Grace.”
Timothy only stared at her and Matilda met it unflinchingly. With her shoulders squared and her chin cocked, she refused to back down, bracing herself for whatever he planned to say. But after a while, the anger in his eyes began to fade. “Then that would mean he was right about everything else.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Before he could respond, the door opened and her father walked in. His face lit with joy and befuddlement when he saw Timothy. “Your Grace, I was surprised to learn that you were here.”
“Good day, My Lord,” Timothy greeted a bit stiffly. “Forgive me for the imposition but I had to see Miss Jones.”
The Viscount looked at Matilda, frown deepening. He was beginning to read the atmosphere. “Why is that?”
Matilda spoke before anyone else could. She knew how her father would react to their topic of conversation and she also knew she was the only one capable of handling him. Elizabeth would simply break down in tears before his rage. “Father, His Grace has learned that Elizabeth bore a child for the Duke of Dunstead.”
Her father’s eyes went wide. “That is hardly any business of the Duke, don’t you think?”
“Well, since we are being honest, I suppose I should tell you of the relationship between the Duke and me.” Matilda looked her father in eye. “We have been courting in secret.”
No one spoke. Matilda, though she maintained a strong front, held her breath waiting to hear what her father would say. It seemed everyone else in the drawing room was sitting on the edge of their seating, waiting for the Viscount’s response as well.
He didn’t give much away. He stared at Matilda, then slowly dragged his eyes over to Timothy who faced him bravely. Though they differed in rank, Matilda knew her father and she knew he would not hesitate to act like the outrage, overprotective father he truly was deep down, no matter who was involved. But that person never came out. Instead, he was calm, as if he was thinking, and finally he said, “So that is why you’re here seeking the truth.”
Timothy nodded. “I acted out of anger when I learned of the reason Miss Jones bore a child and I confronted the Duke of Dunstead myself. It was then I learned that it wasn’t her who bore the child but her sister instead. I only wanted to know the truth.”
The Viscount made his way over to the closest chair to Louisa and sat. Louisa was still staring out the window but Matilda noticed she was gripping her dress so tightly, her knuckles were white.
She’s listening.
Matilda wondered if it was the mention of the Duke of Dunstead that was making her so uncharacteristically upset.
“Ah, this is quite something.” Matilda returned her attention to her father. He was being oddly understanding about all this. “I must admit, Your Grace. I had suspected something of your feelings before but I didn’t think it had developed to this extent.”
“I must not have been very good at concealing it,” Timothy said.
“No,” her father said with a shake of his head. “You haven’t been. And with that said, Your Grace, now that you know the truth, you do know that no good will come from you making it known, right? My daughter made her choice. She believed it was what was best for her sister to marry well and have lived well herself despite it all. Revealing the truth now will do nothing.”
“I’m afraid it is too late for that, My Lord,” Timothy said with a hint of regret. “I created quite a scene when I confronted the Duke of Dunstead and I believe others already know of the truth.”
Matilda expected her father to finally reveal the hidden, raging beast beneath. But he only burrowed his face into his hands, a sure sign of defeat.
Elizabeth spoke up next. “It’s all right, Father. It has been killing me that you two must
go through such pain for my mistakes. I must own up to them one day.”
“Elizabeth, you know what will happen if they learn it is truly your child,” the Viscount said.
“I know,” Elizabeth replied. There was no hint of tears in her voice, no sadness. Only understanding. “And I’ve already come to terms with it.”
Again silence fell over the lot of them. This time, it was imbued with deep sorrow. Matilda stared at her father, disappointment in the sag of his shoulders and her heart went out to him. Yet, when she looked at Timothy, she forgot all about it. A glimmer of hope bloomed within her, an image of them together living the life she’d always wanted for them. Happy and in love, with no need to suffer in silence and meet in secret. She could see his own brand of hope in his eyes, though he tried to hide it.
Timothy was the one who broke the silence. “There is one thing I do not understand. When last I spoke to the Duke, he mentioned that he had been swayed by someone. That that person was the one who pushed him to make advancements on Miss Jones in the first place.”
That had the Viscount’s head shooting up. “Who would do such a thing?” he demanded.
Timothy said nothing. He only looked at the Viscountess. One by one, everyone else in the room looked at her as well.
Even so, it took Matilda a few moments for it to sink in. And when it did, her heart sank with it.
My own mother?
Chapter 32
“Mother?”
Louisa didn’t move. Or at least, she didn’t turn to face the eyes that were on her. But she shook. Every inch of her body was shaking and she clutched her dress as if her life depended on it.
“Louisa?” the Viscount’s voice was probing, disbelieving. He stared at his wife, waiting, as everyone else was, for her to face Timothy’s accusatory stare.
She didn’t. Not at first. She bent her head and her shoulders shook even more as if she had begun to cry. Then, slowly, her mother turned to everyone.
“I’m sorry.”
The word was but a whisper. Matilda wondered if that was why it took such a long time for it to sink in. When her father sat up straighter, when her sister gasped so loudly the cook may have heard it, it still hadn’t sunken in for Matilda. She still couldn’t believe what they were insinuating.
“Louisa, what is the meaning of this?” her father demanded. He hadn’t moved from his chair though he was posed to, almost as if he couldn’t bear to go any closer to her.
Her mother didn’t look at him. Her eyes were on Matilda, pleading, filled with overflowing tears that it tugged on her heart. “I can explain,” she said. “Please, allow me to explain.”
“Then explain.” Her voice sounded so far away, Matilda was almost convinced she wasn’t the one who had spoken.
The Viscountess swallowed harshly. “I … I loved your father. With everything in me. When I was growing up, I was told I should prepare to marry a good gentleman. I was told that there was no need to love him, but as long as I can bear him children and build a good home, that was enough. Even so, I fell for your father. He was the most handsome and charming man I’ve ever met. He could always make me laugh and I loved being the envy of all the other ladies who couldn’t secure him in marriage.”
Her eyes fell to her lap and Matilda saw a few more tears sparkle in the light as it fell. “When I bore him a beautiful girl, I fell even deeper in love. He was so doting and caring. He treated me even more like I’m a princess and when I became pregnant with his second child, he worshipped the very ground I walked on. I truly believed he loved me like I loved him. But later on, when you girls were already fully grown and Matilda was going to participate in her first Season, I found out the truth. The handsome and charming man who doted on me was like that with another woman.”
Again, Elizabeth gasped and Louisa nodded. She swept her tear-filled gaze across the room, landing accusingly on the Viscount who stared at her silently. “He was intimate with another woman. I only know of one but perhaps there were more I wasn’t aware of. I hadn’t taken the time to find out. I doubted my heart would have been able to handle it with the way it had been torn in two. I loved your father, but I learned that he did not love me. He couldn’t have loved me if he could be unfaithful.”
The Viscountess returned her gaze to Matilda. Matilda knew she was begging her to understand.
“I was lost. Everything I knew had been a lie and I was sad. But … I remember that there was more to my life. I may have been fooled by your father into thinking he loved me but I knew there were two people in this world who did truly love me. You and your sister. In my sadness, I had a crazy thought that I know was utterly foolish. I thought that if I couldn’t have your father by my side always, I could at least have my daughters. I did not want to be left alone in this world. I had one daughter that, because of her popularity during the Season, would soon be married and would move away. I had another daughter that would inevitably leave me as well. I would be all alone, with no one but a man who lied to me to share my life with. I couldn’t let that happen.”
Matilda looked at her mother’s hands, at the way she was gripping the dress. She couldn’t bear to look in her mother’s face any longer even as she went on. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. I wanted to keep you here, Matilda, with me. I thought that if you became a spinster, no one would marry you and the best way to do that was to create a scandal. If others thought you were tainted, that would surely turn them away from you. So … so, I convinced the Duke of Dunstead to seduce you. I knew of his reputation and seeing how handsome a gentleman he was, I believed that not even you would have been able to turn away from him. I didn’t think that you actually would and that he would turn to Elizabeth instead.”
The tender crying she did before was nothing compared to the hiccup sob she let loose after her complete revelation. The Viscountess put a hand to her mouth, as if to hold back her sobs as she looked at everyone in the room, even Timothy. “It was a terrible idea. I know that seeing the way it affected everyone has been killing me on the inside. I never stopped to think how everyone would be hurt by it. My sweet daughter forced to bear a child for a man who turned her away and Matilda, forced to accept the burden of those actions unto herself. It has been eating everyone alive since it happened and I … I couldn’t handle it any longer.”
“That’s why you’ve been the way you have,” the Viscount said, his voice low.
Louisa nodded but when she looked at him, that accusation was back. “It pained me to see my family like this. To see what I caused because of my selfishness. But I can’t forgive you for the things you’ve done, Stephen. For breaking your vows and tearing this family apart.”
“He wasn’t the one who tore this family apart, Mother.” It was Elizabeth. Everyone but Matilda looked at her when she spoke. “It was you. You can’t blame Father for your own terrible actions.”
The Viscountess looked as if she had been torn into two by Elizabeth’s words. “Elizabeth…”
Matilda rose. Her eyes were on the floor, collecting the words she knew she had to say. Finally, when she was sure she had them all together, she looked at Timothy. “Forgive me, Your Grace, but may my family and I speak in private?”
“R-right. Of course.” The Timothy demanding answers was now long gone. He got to his feet and stumbled a bit in his haste. Matilda couldn’t even crack a smile. He said his goodbyes and after one final look at Matilda, a look that promised he was here for her, he left.
Once he was gone, Matilda resumed her seat. She faced her mother, who looked as if she was awaiting her sentence.
Her father shot to his feet the moment Matilda sat. There was the fury she had been expecting all along. “I cannot believe this! You were the one who caused this? How could you think that convincing someone to seduce your own daughter was a good idea?”
“How could I?” The Viscountess shot to her feet as well and Matilda blinked. It had been years since she’d seen her mother express so much emotion, since she�
�d last seen her mother be like the lady she’d known all her life. Except, this wasn’t the same lady.
“How could you? How could you do that to me, Stephen? Wasn’t the love I had for you enough? Didn’t I give you everything you ever wanted? Bearing you two children to love? Or was it because I failed to bring you the son you always longed for? Was that the reason why you were unfaithful?”
“My actions do not excuse yours, Louisa!” he roared. In the corner of her eye, Matilda saw Elizabeth usher Jackson to the door. She let him leave, going to his governess who Matilda was sure was on the other side. “You ruined this family!”
The words broke through her mother’s argument and she sagged back into her seat in defeat. Her father stood over her, heaving. Matilda waited for him to say something else but then he simply stalked off, leaving the drawing room and closing the door behind him with a bang.
The Scandalous Secret 0f The Tempting Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 23
