After the Hurt

by Shana Gray

  She’d done a little looking around for an apartment and was appalled at the prices. No way could she afford to move out now. The more she’d thought about it, the more angry she felt. Why should she be the one to have to leave, anyway? Octagon was as much hers as it was his, as long as she didn’t sign the papers, that is.

  Pepper stood back and put her hands on her hips. The uncooked dough was carefully arranged on a sheet and ready for the oven.

  “So, how’s this batch, Chef?” she asked Chef Michael as he came to stand beside her. She called him Chef. Just like on Hell’s Kitchen, and it almost made her giggle. He didn’t rant and rave and throw things in the garbage when she flubbed something up. He had the patience of a saint.

  “It’s good you experiment. So far you’ve done great.”

  “I’ll just pop these in the oven and then get out of your hair.” It was still early morning and she didn’t want to be a nuisance when the other line cooks arrived. The hectic pace in the kitchen was organized to a T and they didn’t need her fumbling around while they were trying to do prep.

  Sliding the apple caramel scones onto the oven rack to bake, she tidied up her station. A ripple of delight tinged with trepidation passed like a tremor down her spine when she heard Tank’s voice in the hall. It had been a few days since she’d seen or heard him as he’d been away, or so she’d heard the staff say. She got nervous whenever she knew he was close by. Eventually they would talk. She knew that. Tank came into the kitchen. His presence filled the room and she sensed him before she turned to see him. He looked right at her and smiled. Her heart did a dance. She returned his smile a little nervously and then went over to the oven. She peered through the window to check the scones. They were looking good.

  “What ya got cooking?” He was behind her, talking into her ear. His breath fluttered her hair and delight bloomed in her. How could she be so fickle? One moment angrier than a hornet at him and now dying for him to be close. How she loved the sound of his voice and the deep resonance as it wrapped around her.

  “I’m just whipping up some scones.” Pepper tried to keep her voice light, hoping to prevent emotion from leaking into it.

  “Smells good.”

  “I hope they’re tasty too.”

  “Probably will be. So does this mean you’re thinking of opening a bakery or something?”

  “Why, so that I won’t be in your hair?” she blurted. Holy hell, where did that come from? Pepper kept her back to him. She quickly tried to gloss over what she’d said. “Thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. But I like it.” She paused for a moment, giving him an opening to say something about the papers. But he didn’t and she continued, “You never know. Maybe I should.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  She turned and stared at him. Almost willing him to explain the paperwork she’d found. He never said a word, just stared at her with an almost hurt expression on his face. She looked away to hide the flair of anger and stared at her watch. Why should he have hurt feelings? If anybody should have hurt feelings it was her. Being testy wouldn’t get her anywhere so she swallowed it up and soldiered on.

  “If you wait a minute, then you can give one a try.” She hoped he would so it would give them a few more precious minutes together. Even if it was a little uncomfortable.

  The aroma of the scones filled the kitchen when she pulled the tray from the oven and set it on the counter. Chef came over to inspect them. He sampled and gave his stamp of approval.

  “Well, if he likes them then you’ve done a good job,” Tank commented.

  Pepper handed him one on a plate. She broke a piece from the one Chef had tried and popped it in her mouth. It was good.

  Tank ate his and nodded. “Very good. You have a knack in the kitchen. Maybe we ought to put you to work.”

  “Really? You want me around?” God, crap just kept falling out of her mouth. She was unconsciously trying to goad him into bringing up the subject of the documents.

  “Why not? We’ll talk about it and see what we can figure out.” He finished the scone. “This was really good. Sorry, but I do have to go. Lot’s been going on since the grand opening; sorry I haven’t been around much.”

  Tank stopped talking and stared at her, holding her attention. Pepper’s breath stilled and she waited, for what she wasn’t quite sure. Tank seemed to be on the verge of saying something, but just then the shipping door buzzer went off, breaking their connection.

  Tank glanced over to one of the cooks. “Cal, can you get that, please? I have to go. Make sure you get all the packing slips and put them on my desk.”

  He turned back to her and reached out to squeeze her bare forearm before he left the kitchen. His touch lingered on her skin like he was still holding her. Tears burned behind her eyes and she quickly turned her back to the staff. Not that they would notice her, anyway. His touch moved her deeply in so many ways. Tank wasn’t making any sense. He had papers to dissolve their partnership in his office, but now he was showing her attention, suggesting she cook for him and Octagon. What the hell?

  —

  Tank knew he was avoiding the situation with Pepper. He let all the business meetings keep him busy and away from having to deal with it. Not to mention a few texts from Olivia. He’d have to get firm with her as ignoring her didn’t seem to work. Coincidentally a box of wine had gone missing, which made absolutely no sense.

  Meg had been bugging him about the papers too, more from the angle of caring what happened than having it out for Pepper. It relieved him she wasn’t giving him a hard time about Pepper still being here. At least she’d backed off after asking him about it initially.

  He’d filed away the dissolution business papers after realizing he’d carelessly left them on his desk. He’d also left the weird note he’d found stuck to the back door by the parking lot under the papers. It didn’t make any sense, just a scribble of nonsensical words that didn’t seem concerning, but Tank kept it just in case. He might have to call his old buddy Joe to do some digging if anything else strange happened.

  If Pepper had ever seen either of these things, then shit, that would have been a nightmare. Making it official and presenting the papers for her to sign wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. After the break-in he’d been pretty sure she needed to leave. The night of the gala had been perfect and he’d seen her in a whole new light. It made him really second-guess his decision to split things up with her. Having her by his side had been like old times. And he liked it. She was good for the business too. But was she good for him anymore? The guys had teased him, as they always did. Telling him they’d be happy to keep her company. The flash of jealous anger he felt at the thought of her being with someone else was another tip-off that he’d better rethink this whole situation.

  He’d looked for her later that night, wanting to spend more time with her, but she’d disappeared and he’d been disappointed. Likely she’d gone to bed. Which only reminded him of the night he’d stayed with her. In fact, he remembered how she’d crawled over him all too well. Most nights, it was almost impossible to sleep without dreaming about her.

  Tank stood behind his desk and stared at it, thinking, which he’d done an awful lot of lately. He was almost certain he would rip up those papers and the check. She had no idea he had them, so it wasn’t like he had to explain them. He did like seeing her in the kitchen, though. It showed how well she could fit into the business. Even if he wasn’t sure they fit together anymore. In truth, he hadn’t really given it much opportunity, being tied up in meetings with Christian and that quick business trip. Knowing she was under his roof, even if he wasn’t in the building, made him feel good. She was near him and safe. Again. God, how he wanted to stay mad at her. Push her away and make her suffer like he had. And yet, he couldn’t. It felt too damn good to have her home.

  He sighed and shuffled stuff around on his desk. There was no need to even bring up the subject of dissolving the business with her. He didn’t have to tell her what he
’d done in a moment of…what? What moment had that been? Weakness. Cowardice. And he was neither of those. Deep down inside, no matter how he tried to spin it, he wanted her around. But could he ever love her again? Or, even more alarming, had he ever stopped?

  His phone pinged. He didn’t need the meeting reminder. This new venture with Christian, if they could work out the kinks, could be an interesting proposition. Tank was excited to see if the possibility was there. The one thing he admitted to himself was how much he enjoyed getting Octagon ready to open. Watching the plans come to life and seeing the final result was very satisfying.

  If becoming partners with Christian fell into place, Tank felt that Pepper would be a great asset as well. She had vision. He had to decide, one way or the other, if he was going to keep the papers. It was a decision he had to make. Sooner rather than later.

  His phone pinged again. Thumbing his finger across the screen, he frowned when he saw who the new text was from. Olivia. It wasn’t the first time she’d reached out to him after he’d thrown her out, but it would be the last. She’d pushed him too far. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with her. Debating if he should ignore her again, he decided not to this time.

  Stop texting me. If you continue I’ll have to take legal action.

  Tank opened his contacts and scrolled down. That settled it. He’d call Joe anyway, have him start doing what he does. He tapped to dial.

  “ ’Lo,” a deep voice answered.

  “Hey, buddy. What’s going on?” Tank grabbed his coat and left the office, locking the door behind him.

  “Dog! Same old. So what brings you to call? Shit happening again?”

  “Could be.”

  “What is it about you? You attract the crazies like I’ve never seen before.”

  “Whatever. Listen, I need you to keep an eye around here. Will you be in town?”

  “If you mean am I coming to Toronto from Vegas, no, hadn’t planned on it. Want me to get someone else?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Tank slid into the Hummer. He figured if Joe knew another PI and trusted him then so could he.

  “Same kind of stuff?”

  “Yup, someone broke into the loft and scared the crap out of Pepper—”

  “Whoa! What? Pepper? She’s back?” Then Joe hmphed a couple times.

  Tank sighed and wheeled the truck down the laneway between the buildings from the back parking lot. “She’s back. I don’t want to get into it now. But I need you or whoever to look into a few things. Cops have no clue about the break-in, which is typical. I’ve got some weird letters and notes in a file for you. Some stuff has gone missing around here and there’s been someone hanging around too. Nobody familiar and maybe not related at all. Just need you to check on it.”

  “Ten-four. Need some extra security too?”

  “Yes, I was thinking about that. Send me some names of local guys and I’ll check it out.”

  “Will do. That it?”

  “Yup. Keep me in the loop. Thanks.”

  “Later.”

  Tank hung up and put the phone in his pocket. He felt a little better now, having his old buddy take care of things. They’d trained together years ago, but Joe never got back in the ring after having a bad knockout and concussion. He had a pretty good setup now, and Tank sent business his way whenever he could. Which was good for Joe but shitty for Tank because that usually meant trouble.

  He only hoped this was all for nothing.

  Chapter 14

  Tank had planted a seed about her baking for the restaurant. So Pepper dove into her early-morning sessions and spent time with the executive chef. She was learning his routine and how the kitchen ran. Getting to know the staff and contribute as best she could.

  She was disappointed that Tank hadn’t spoken to her yet and that another few days had gone by. It’s not like they had to talk every day or anything, as much as she would have liked to. She respected he might have to get used to having her around, but she was on edge about the papers. The burning question was why he hadn’t asked her to leave yet. Nor had he inquired about what her plans were. It was like they were suspended in time. Pepper tried not to get antsy. If she did talk to him about the papers then it made it look like she’d been snooping around his desk. If she didn’t, how long would it take before he talked to her? It was limbo land and so she just carried on as if she hadn’t seen anything and waited.

  Strangely, though, when they were together, which wasn’t much, it hadn’t been all that bad. A little bit uncomfortable, mainly from her end. Her anger about the papers began to fade and slip from her mind.

  The more time she spent here, the more firmly entrenched she became, making it harder for him to ask her to leave. So Pepper spent a lot of time in the kitchen, then gravitated to managing the front of the house until she became the unofficial hostess. Tank didn’t seem to mind or voice objection. She’d discovered he had a new business venture in the wings and he’d been busy with meetings. And that business trip he went on was to Texas and Denver. She’d overheard him on the phone since he got back—not that she eavesdropped on purpose—and she didn’t know any of the details. But it sounded like he was going out on his own without her. That was a whole new quandary. Before he made any decisions, and as long as he hadn’t presented the documents to her, she would try to have some say in the final decision, if it had to do with Octagon. A couple of times when he was there and not off gallivanting, he’d joined her in the kitchen. They’d dabbled at creating new foods with the chef. It had been fun and she’d enjoyed spending one-on-one time with him. They hadn’t gotten physically close since that first day, but the sexual tension between them was palpable. It grew steadily and she wondered if he felt it as much as she did.

  Pepper itched to run her fingers over the whorl inked on his forearm when he’d reach for an ingredient while they were cooking, or cup his cheek to feel the ever-present dark stubble graze her palm when he gazed at her. The black toque he sometimes wore was so damn sexy she could eat him up. Pepper was a right mess. She was really into this new, rugged-looking Tank, daydreaming about him and yet on edge the whole time, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  She’d gotten her replacement ID in the mail yesterday, and wanted to ask him if he’d opened it. Because one of the envelopes had been partially slit open. It didn’t appear that anything had been missing inside. But, still. She supposed, though, that anyone could have taken the mail that was in the ornate box they bolted at the side of the building when they’d first moved in years ago.

  Tonight Pepper was on her feet nonstop. The piano bar was hopping and the restaurant was full. Just how they liked it. The other hostess Pepper met the first night had quit, leaving them in the lurch, and Pepper jumped at the chance to help out. She took a moment to gulp some water while standing behind the bar when the hairs on her arms rose. A shiver rippled down her spine like icy fingers and settled in her belly with a sense of foreboding. Pepper turned to see what had set her antennae on alert. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt this odd feeling of being watched.

  The room was full, all tables taken and the piano bar jammed. Pepper looked around at the guests, trying to figure out what was causing her unease. She put the glass down and walked to the piano bar, glancing to the windows. A small crowd was gathered outside staring in at the pianists. She scanned the faces. Nothing registered out of place. Pepper chewed her lip, her mind conjuring up all sorts of worrisome things. Tank had gotten a lot of hate mail as a fighter. People threatening to take him down, kick his ass, stating he wasn’t as tough as he’d thought. They’d reported the issues, but nothing had ever come to pass and she’d pretty much forgotten the angst it caused her. Now it came rushing back and her belly soured. Maybe she’d suggest Tank call Joe. He’d started a private investigation and security firm after he ended his fighting career. He was a good guy and Pepper trusted him.

  Laughter from the bar distracted her and she turned to see what was so funny. At that moment Tank came
from behind the pillar, totally reminding her of that first night she’d seen him. The night she’d come back, what, almost a couple weeks ago now? Wow, time flies. He met her gaze. She smiled at him; he nodded and smiled back. God, he was so good to look at. She tried to forget the unsettled feeling and walked toward him. It took a little longer as she wove between the tables, nodding and stopping to chat with a few customers, inquiring after their meal. Finally she was at his side. His magnetism drew her close and she inhaled, closing her eyes and hoping to catch a whiff of his essence.

  Pepper felt more in tune with him now than when they’d been together—truly together, with him inside her. Her wrapped around him. His mouth on hers, finding her tongue. A burning heat kept her on the edge of arousal whenever they were close, and if she let herself get lost in thoughts of him, arousal wasn’t too far behind. Mixed with the confusing rush of pheromones was a feeling and growing unease Pepper was unable to shake. Surely, it was those damn papers she tried not to think about. Coupled with her not really making any future plans. She’d been content to stay here and just let it all play out. Tank was confusing too. He was hot, cold, here, gone, so all over the map it made her head spin. Oh, how she wanted to throw herself at him, declare her feelings, to hell with the consequences. Yet she held back. Waiting, hoping for Tank to make the first move. She didn’t want to influence him. She wanted him to want her, as much as she did him. Not to feel obligated.

  “So, are our guests happy?” He leaned down, his voice sultry sweet in her ear, and a tingle sparkled through her veins. Her already heightened nerves set off with a new flurry of flutters. How on earth was she going to keep her cool when he fired her up so? She hoped she wouldn’t cave in to her desire for him and jeopardize everything.