The Bucket List

by Scarlett Haven

  But it’s better for him to think there is.

  “Can Kale hear me?” Jason asks.

  “Yeah, man,” Kale says. “What’s up?”

  “Hey. Not much, just chilling with my fiancé,” he answers. “Counting down the days until I can make her my wife.”

  “You could always elope like we did,” Kale says.

  “Mom would kill me if I eloped, too. I don’t think her poor heart could handle it,” Jason says.

  Kale and I laugh.

  I feel bad that mom had to miss my wedding, but I knew I couldn’t have them there. I can’t tell them about me dying, just yet. I don’t want to tell them until I have to. I just hope I’m healthy enough during Christmas and the wedding to fake it, but I doubt it.

  “So, how much longer do you guys have on this road trip?” Jason asks.

  “It’ll be a while longer,” I tell him.

  “Okay,” he says, sounding disappointed. “Well, I’d better let you two lovebirds go.”

  “Bye, Jason. I love you,” I tell him.

  “Love you too, little sis. And you too, Kale. Take care of her for me.”

  “I will,” Kale says, his voice breaking a little.

  The call ends, and I’m sad for all the time I’m going to miss with my brother. It breaks my heart to know that my dying is going to hurt him so bad.

  I only let a few tears fall before forcing them to stop.

  I have to be happy—for them. I want Kale to be able to tell them how happy I was on this trip. I know it will mean a lot to my family. And Kale. He’s family too.

  3 p.m.

  Branson.

  We’re only in the car for an hour and a half before we arrive at our destination—Branson, Missouri.

  It’s a tourist town. There are only two lanes and the traffic is almost as bad as it is in LA. Or maybe we’ve just been gone from LA for so long that I forgot what bad traffic was like. But it is a Friday and it’s summer, so probably a lot of families are on vacation. We have to stop at every single stop light a few times, but finally we arrive at our hotel. Kale checks us in and then carries in our bags. He refuses to let me help, but I know that’s not because I’m sick. He would do that, even if I was completely healthy. He’s chivalrous like that. Just like his mother taught him to be.

  “Thank you, Kale,” I tell him, once all our stuff is in the room. I’ve started editing the daily vlog for him. “So, what are our plans for here?”

  “Well, we are checking one item off your list tomorrow,” he says. “Also, we’re going to a theme park.”

  “A theme park?”

  I love roller coasters.

  So does Kale.

  “Silver Dollar City,” he says. “Apparently this place is famous for it.”

  “Huh. Cool,” I say. “Sounds fun.”

  “And after this, we are heading south again. Alabama. Just staying there for a night, and then going to Savannah, Georgia. We’ll stay there a couple of days and try do get a few more things checked off your list. From there, we will drive all the way down the coast towards Miami,” he tells me.

  “I’ve always wanted to go to Miami.”

  “I know,” he says. “You tried to talk your mom and dad into taking you for your tenth birthday, your thirteenth birthday, your seventeenth birthday and, most recently, your eighteenth birthday.”

  I grin. “Yeah. Though, I suppose I could’ve taken myself this year. I was just too cheap. I was trying to save as much money as I could. Now, I don’t know why. I have plenty of money coming in from ad revenues. I doubt we will have to touch my savings account on this trip.”

  “I’m glad you got me into making videos online,” Kale says. “If not, this trip most likely wouldn’t be possible. For one, I’d probably be in college right now.”

  “Both of us. Except you’d probably be graduating soon.”

  Kale went to college for two years and dropped out to devote more time to making videos. His parents were furious at the time, but the sacrifice has paid off. My own parents were pretty mad when I dropped out after one semester, but I realized I had to do what made me happy.

  It’s kind of crazy to me that people like watching my videos. I don’t feel like I’m that interesting.

  “A lot of people have been watching our daily vlogs,” Kale tells me, when he pulls out his laptop. “We’ve both gained a ton of followers.”

  “It’s weird, right? Us just vlogging our road trip. That can’t be that exciting,” I say.

  “I’m pretty sure the guys watch because you’re hot.”

  I laugh. “And I’m pretty sure the girls watch because you’re hot.”

  “Juliet, you think I’m hot?” Kale smirks, and it’s quite possibly the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen.

  “You know you are,” I say. “Besides, if you were ugly I wouldn’t have married you.”

  He fake-gasps. “I never knew you were so vain.”

  I throw a pillow at him. “Shut it, Johnson.”

  “You’re Johnson, too, now, you know,” he says.

  I can’t help but smile at that.

  He’s right.

  I like my new last name

  Later that night, Kale and I go to the best Indian restaurant I have ever gone to in my life. It’s called India Clay Oven. The guy who worked there was super nice, the food was amazing and we even got free dessert. Well, Kale did. The dessert wasn’t vegan, so he got to eat it all. I was stuffed anyway.

  After that, we went to ride go-karts. I beat Kale, and he swears it’s because my go-kart was faster. Really, I beat him because I’ve clearly got more skills when it comes to racing.

  We laugh a lot and for a little bit; we both forget that I’m dying.

  It was perfect.

  Saturday, June 11

  Go zip lining.

  “I can’t do this,” I tell Kale, shaking my head vigorously back and forth. “Not happening.”

  “Come on. You can’t back out now,” he says. “And all these people are waiting behind us.”

  “I can’t.”

  “I’ll be with you the whole time,” he says. “I’ll be holding you.”

  “Kale, no. Absolutely never happening.”

  Five minutes later, Kale and I are strapped in a harness. I am shaking hard and my heart is racing.

  Kale is crazy! Or maybe I’m the crazy one. I am regretting writing this particular item down on my bucket list. I am also mad at Kale for talking me into it.

  “You guys ready?” they guy asks.

  I shake my head back and forth. “No.”

  “YES!” Kale says, over me.

  The guy ignores me and releases us. He’s probably very ready to be rid of us; though, really, he probably deals with this all day. Zip lining is a very scary thing to do.

  We take off and I leave my stomach on the platform. My head is spinning, and I think I am screaming.

  But, man, what a view.

  I’m most definitely going to die.

  “This is amazing,” I hear Kale yell.

  He’s right.

  It kind of is.

  I relax, because it’s not as scary as I thought it was going to be, and we are getting closer to the ground.

  Within a minute, it’s over. They let us out of the harness and my legs are shaking. The guy at the bottom says something and me lets us out of the harness, but I have no idea what he said. All I can hear is my heart beating in my ears.

  Kale takes off his Go Pro camera and points it at me. “How was that?”

  “Scary, but fun,” I admit. “I kind of want to do it again.”

  “I so knew it,” he says, turning off the camera. “I can’t believe you cried trying to get me to let you back out. You’re such a girl.”

  I stick my tongue out at him.

  Because, seriously, I cried because I was legit scared. Though, I do feel a little bit stupid now that it’s over. It wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

  “Are you ready to go ride roller co
asters that are most definitely much scarier than that?” Kale asks.

  “I can handle roller coasters.”

  When we get to the car, I mark another one off my life.

  8. Go zip lining.

  There is still a lot left to do, but the more I mark off, the closer we are to the end.

  I wish time would pass slower, just for a little bit.

  Monday, June 13

  Swim in the Atlantic Ocean.

  9. Swim in the Atlantic Ocean.

  Savannah, Georgia is one of the prettiest towns I’ve ever seen. Like, if I wasn’t dying, and if my family didn’t live on the other side of the country, I think I would want to live here, just so I could watch the sun rise out of the Atlantic Ocean every single day.

  Kale holds my hand as we lie on the sand, just talking about nothing in particular.

  I like holding his hand.

  Times like this, I wish I wasn’t dying. Because Kale Johnson is the kind of guy I could picture a life with—white picket fence, two point five kids, but maybe not a minivan. Maybe a nice midsize SUV.

  Kale is kind of beautiful. He has gorgeous blond hair that most girls wish they could get out of a bottle. His teeth are perfectly straight from birth, I was the one who had to have braces when we were kids. And his teeth are white... like Crest commercial white. His eyes are light green, but sometimes they look blue, depending on this color of his shirt. And he’s dedicated. When he was seventeen, he started his YouTube channel. He didn’t even tell me he started one until he had a couple of thousand followers. He raised his business from the ground up, like I did. He’s driven and successful. I’m not quite sure how I never noticed him before.

  Okay, I noticed. But he’s Jason’s best friend, so I never allowed myself to go there. Not with Kale. But maybe I should have.

  “What do you think our kids would look like?” I ask Kale. “You know; if that were an option for me.”

  Used to be, saying something like that would make me nervous. Not anymore. I’m dying anyway, so, what does it matter if I ask him something embarrassing?

  “Beautiful,” he answers. “How could any baby with your genes not be?”

  “I’ve never felt beautiful.”

  “Trust me, you are,” Kale says. “I’ve always noticed you. I think the first time I noticed how beautiful you were was around your twelfth birthday.”

  “I had braces then,” I say. “And I was short and skinny. I remember everybody in my class developed early and I was that awkward skinny kid. None of the boys ever saw me as a girl. I was friend-zoned early on.”

  He laughs. “Good. Those guys from high school weren’t good enough for you, anyway.”

  “Well, by the time they noticed me, I had already seen how they treated the other girls, so it worked to my advantage,” I say. “Besides, they still saw me as just a friend. You know, I’ve never even been on a date.”

  “We go on dates all the time,” Kale says.

  “I mean, before you. But, really, I’m glad that I get to do all my firsts, relationship-wise, with you.”

  He smiles and I swear it’s brighter than the sun. “Juliet, you’re the kind of girl guys write songs about. You keep telling me how glad you are that I married you, but I’m the one who should be telling you thank you. I just wish I had a full lifetime with you. I want those hypothetical kids. I want forever with you.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah,” he answers. “Of course, I would’ve dated you a little while before asking you to marry me. We did do that a little bit backwards. Honestly, I would’ve asked you out a lot sooner if your brother hadn’t threatened me.”

  “He threatened you?” I ask.

  “Yep. More than once,” he says. “He figured out pretty early on that I had a massive crush on you. I guess I wasn’t good at hiding my feelings.”

  “I never knew,” I say.

  “You were so focused on YouTube that you never noticed any of the guys,” Kale says. “Really, I think guys were intimidated by how successful you were.”

  “Not you.”

  He grins. “I started my channel for you, Juliet. I wanted you to notice me. I figured that I’d have to do something big to get your attention.”

  “I told you about my channel six months before I told anybody else,” I admit. “Like, before I told my mom, dad, Jason, or anybody.”

  “Why did you tell me?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer. “I guess you were never just Jason’s best friend to me. I mean, sure you were older, but I grew up with you, too. I always thought that we were friends. You were my only friend.”

  “You had friends in high school,” he says.

  “No, I didn’t. I mean, I had friends that I ate lunch with, or whatever, but I never had friends to hang out with outside of school. YouTube was my only friend,” I say. “I’ve never regretted that decision. I like my job. It just seems pointless now, though.”

  “It’s not pointless,” he says. “You were planning for a future. That’s what people do at our age. You’re good at your job. I mean, you have over three million subscribers now, Juliet. That’s amazing. You’re famous online. You were even recognized that day on the lake. And all those people who showed up at the bowling alley in the middle of nowhere in Texas... I tweeted that out, like, two hours before it happened, and that many people showed up. For you.”

  “Do you think I should tell them? My fans. About... you know...”

  “I think you should tell your family,” he says. “After you tell your family, then it would probably be good to tell your fans, too.”

  I nod. “I think I want to tell them after we finish this road trip.”

  “Okay,” he says. “I’ll be right there with you, holding your hand the entire time.”

  “Who do you think will take it the hardest?” I ask, tears filling my eyes. “Kale, I don’t know if I can tell them. I can’t stand to see the look on their faces. I don’t want to see them cry. It is going to break my heart.”

  “It’s up to you. Maybe you could make them a video or something,” he suggests. “I could upload it on YouTube and make it private, for just your family.”

  “You would do that?” I ask.

  He nods. “I’ll work on it and upload it when you’re ready.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So, I looked at the weather forecast,” he tells me. “It’s supposed to rain this afternoon.”

  “Rain?”

  “Your list. Number ten, dance in the rain.”

  I smile. “Oh, right.”

  “So don’t make any plans this afternoon,” he says. “You and I are going to dance in the rain.”

  “Sounds perfect,” I say.

  Everything about Kale Johnson is perfect.

  He’s the best husband a girl could ask for.

  3 p.m.

  Dance in the rain.

  Kale and I are standing on the beach, slow dancing in the rain.

  There are no cameras to capture this moment.

  There is no audience.

  There is just Kale and me.

  When I wrote down “dance in the rain,” I wasn’t expecting a slow, romantic dance. Though, I must admit, this is much better than what I had planned.

  Kale is a good dancer.

  I love that he’s holding me against him, like he’s scared to let me go.

  I never went to my high school prom.

  I know, I know! During prom, I did, like, ten videos on prom makeup, hair, dresses, and other stuff a girl needs to know when she’s getting ready for prom. It’s so hypocritical, but who would I have gone with? The boys in my high school were losers and the girls hated me. First, they hated me because I was a nerd. Then they hated me because of my YouTube videos. Making videos online wasn’t considered “cool” in my high school.

  But when I’m out here, dancing in the rain with Kale, I don’t care that I didn’t go to high school prom. This is the guy I want to dance with.

  “I should’ve ask
ed you to prom,” I tell him.

  “You didn’t go to prom?” he asks, sounding surprised.

  “No.”

  “Jason told me you did. I was jealous of the guy all night, knowing he was dancing with you,” Kale says.

  “I made Jason promise not to tell you.”

  “Why?” he asks. “If you had asked, I would’ve gone to prom with you.”

  “You were away at college, Kale. Besides, did you really want to take your best friend’s little sister to prom?”

  “Yeah. I actually thought about asking you to my senior prom, but Jason wouldn’t let me,” he says. “So, what did you do during prom?”

  “What do you think?” I ask, laughing. “I made a YouTube video. How I Get Ready For Prom.”

  “I watched that video,” he says. “You looked so beautiful.”

  “I still have that dress. I never wore it other than for the video,” I admit. “My mom was so mad at me when she found out I wasn’t going. It was an expensive dress. So, I pretended to go to prom and then snuck back into my bedroom. She found me there an hour later. I was editing my video.”

  Kale laughs. “Juliet, you and I are kind of perfect for each other.”

  “I know. I wish I would’ve realized it sooner,” I tell him.

  “I’ve always known.”

  “Just... Kale, please don’t fall in love with me,” I say. “Because, that wouldn’t be fair to you. I don’t want to break your heart.”

  “Juliet, please don’t worry about me.”

  Yeah, like that’s going to happen.

  “Just enjoy this dance,” he says, spinning me around. I end up tripping and land face first in the sand and Kale lands on top of me. It’s not romantic like it is in the books and movies. The fact is it hurts. And I am pretty sure I got sand in my eye.

  “Ouch,” I say, turning my head so I can breathe without getting sand in my mouth.

  “Sorry,” Kale says, standing up. He helps me up as well.

  I try to dust the sand off, but my clothes are wet and the sand is sticking.