by Hayley Oakes
She turned and pushed her arms around my waist, her face pressed to my chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
We ordered food, cuddled on the sofa and I rubbed her feet after we’d eaten, as she laid them across my lap. I hated to compare what we had but Jemma and I had not been friends for years. In the early days of our relationship we’d had fun and I fell for her hard but it was never just us two. We were surrounded by a group of friends and everything we did was in a social crowd. As the years progressed we had our own hobbies and were both busy in the evenings at the gym and seeing friends, what Penny and I had was like being young again. The excitement of wanting that one person all to yourself and getting to know each other was everything I wanted.
I missed her when she wasn’t with me and I hated sharing her with anyone else. I loved to hear her stories about work and her theories on life and the crazy homeless guy who lived near the studio. She had a refreshing outlook on life and she made me laugh, out loud. She was thoughtful, tender and didn’t roast me for shit that I hadn’t done like some crazy chicks. I loved touching every inch of her body and the way she responded to my touch.
I would never compare but meeting Penny made me wonder if Jemma and I would have lasted much longer the way we were. We were on two different pages and the divide tore us apart.
“So,” Penny began as I rubbed her feet and she looked around the lounge, committing everything to memory, “Serena asked something today.” She looked a little coy, so I narrowed my eyes.
“And?” I goaded.
“Oh it’s nothing, I don’t know if it’s weird,” she cringed a little.
“Come on,” I tugged her foot lightly, “spill.”
“Well ... Serena and her new guy are going to this gig their friends are playing at and she asked me ... and you.”
I smiled, “me?”
“I said we weren’t seeing each other or anything but she kept going on about me spending so much time with you and ... anyway,” she shrugged, “I said you wouldn’t want to come.”
“Why?” I rubbed her foot again and pulled a serious face, did I want to go? Were we seeing each other? “I would come.” I told her.
“Oh,” she glanced down at my hands as I rubbed her feet and she stretched out at her end of the sofa, “I’m not sure I even want to go,” she sighed. “I feel like the oldest twenty-six year old in history.”
“Last time you went out without me you ended up with a bloke’s number,” I tugged her foot again and she squeaked, “so I better escort you just in case some punk tries his luck.”
She smirked and pulled her foot free, I growled in response and laughed, bending to prowl over her and then pinned her to the sofa. I held her hands down and bent to kiss her and she giggled as my lips found hers, “punk?” she asked.
“Punk,” I said, dropping to kiss her again. I ran my hand down her side and she groaned at the touch. She clung to my back and urged me on by grinding upwards into me. I roamed my hand under her pyjama top and she giggled as my fingers grazed her sides and tickled her. We didn’t define what we were and if she had asked I wouldn’t have been able to say, all I knew was that I couldn’t keep my hands off her and the thought of her going out looking dangerously hot without me, hurt.
She reached between us and her greedy hands pushed into my sweat pants to grab my cock and I sucked in a breath at her touch. She hummed into my mouth as my tongue explored hers, I moved my hands down and pushed into her pyjamas to find her sweet spot, “you don’t need any of those punks baby,” I whispered into her ear as she threw her head back and my fingers found that spot that drove her wild, “you have me to take care of you.” I uttered and she clung to my back with one hand as she ran the other up and down my cock.
I pulled at her vest top and she broke contact to whip it over her head, then she tugged at my t-shirt and I threw it across the room. I pushed down my pants so that my cock sprung free and she gasped as she saw it and licked her lips, I pushed her pyjamas down and she managed to get one leg out of them before I needed to be inside her. I thrust in and she took a deep breath, wrapping her legs around me instinctively as I pushed all the way inside.
“I like you in my house,” I told her, kissing her with authority as she ran her nails down my back, “I like you on my sofa and in my bath.” I told her gruffly.
“I like you inside me,” she uttered and I dropped my lips to her possessively.
“You feel so good,” I told her between kisses.
“Harder,” she shouted as I pounded into her and grabbed her bum to pull her closer.
“Always,” I said as I grabbed the edge of the sofa to plough into her. “You love it hard don’t you baby?”
“Yes!” she breathed, her hands reaching out to hold my arms as I hovered over her and I watched her beautiful face as she came apart. “Oh my God!” she shouted as I dropped down and took her over the edge.
“Oh God!” I uttered, kissing her and following her orgasm with my own.
We caught our breath and I sat back onto the sofa, “see how good it is at my house?” I teased with a raised eyebrow.
She grinned, “it’d be better if I got chocolate after sex.”
I bent and kissed her nose as I stood to get cleaned up, “I’ll go and see what I can find.” She stood too and I swatted her naked bum as she walked ahead of me to go up the stairs to clean up. I loved that she already showed herself around my house even though she had reservations earlier, maybe it didn’t come naturally but Penny had a knack of taking a comment on board and then running with it.
I went straight to the fridge and found some dairy milk, then switched the lights out and followed her upstairs. Her bags were still dropped outside the bathroom and so I walked to the doorway, seeing her having a shower. She stepped out and noticed me there, pulling a towel around her. “I brought chocolate,” I held up the dairy milk, “thought we could share it in bed.”
“Bed,” she widened her eyes and sighed.
I walked to her and pulled her into a hug, “I haven’t slept in the room I shared with Jemma for a while,” I told her “if you were worried about that?”
“Why?” she stepped back and looked up at me.
I shrugged and pushed a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, “at first because it was too much, everything was just too much and now ... it just feels more like my room.”
“I was worried about sleeping in your bed,” she blew out a breath, “I know what you’re saying about it being your house and ... but it felt weird.”
“It’s fine, I do get it, I understand every feeling and concern but this is my house,” I tightened her towel and kissed her head. “I’ll shower, my room is the first door on the left.”
She kissed my arm and walked out. I showered and when I pushed my door open, she was snuggled up in the plush queen sized bed, under the thick white sheets, in the bed that used to be our guest bed. The TV was already on and she looked sleepy. I slid in next to her and ran my hand over her stomach to find her naked, pulling her to me. “I like you naked the best,” I kissed her shoulder and she yawned as she snuggled into me.
“I like you every way,” she uttered and it made me smile. I laid back on the bed, channel surfing as Penny fell asleep on my chest. This house had felt empty and too big for so long that Penny and Ivy being there made me realise how lonely I was on the nights without them.
Chapter 28 Eleven Months Old
Penny
“SHE LIKES CRUMPETS NOW,” I told Adrienne when we dropped Ivy off for a sleepover as we headed out with Serena for the night. Matt’s parents more than likely had an idea that things between me and Matt were now blurred but they hadn’t pried too far, that he’d mentioned to me anyway.
If they thought it was odd that we were both going out with my friends, they didn’t say. “I’ve got crumpets,” Adrienne said, holding Ivy in her all in one pyjamas and kissing her cheeks. “We can have whatever she wants, can’t we sweetie?” she said.
Ivy babbled, “nana,” and Adrienne beamed at that.
“Granddad will make breakfast whilst we play games,” she said with a sing song voice which Ivy loved. I felt an ache in my chest at everything that Ivy had, all the things that I’d never been able to enjoy or that I could provide for her. If I’d had grandparents I don’t remember, it wasn’t clear who my father was as his name wasn’t on my birth certificate. I knew Lara Strauss must have had parents but they certainly weren’t in her life when her kids were up for grabs as no one came forward.
Ivy had them all, grandparents, aunties, a dad who adored her. I don’t remember having many things. At Christmas I always got toiletries and practical things that other people thought I needed, nothing that I wanted. Ivy would want for nothing and people were lining up to love her and it made tears fill my eyes to see that.
Sometimes my mind wandered to the way things should have been, Matt and Jemma with her. Jemma looking flawless doing an excellent job as a Mummy because she actually knew what she was doing, and Matt supporting her like he did me. Yet with Jemma he would support her because it was their dream, their love, not some girl he had ended up with by default.
Matt was amazing, no wonder Jemma had managed to snag a guy like him. He was the man I always wished I could find, the man who would protect his family at all costs, the man who was far too good for me, who would find his perfect housewife one day and I would go back to being the mother of his child. I wouldn’t be disappointed I would just be glad for the time we’d had.
“You look lovely Penny,” Brian said as I stood watching them coo over Ivy, I’d spent some money on an outfit after complaining to Gail that all my clothes were old. She told me off for spending everything on Ivy and told me to treat myself, so I did. I didn’t go crazy and the wedges were old but I bought a new top that was fitted and stopped at my waist, it was coral silk and the material was draped so it flattered my figure. It had capped sleeves and showed a hint of cleavage. I teamed it with black, skinny jeans and black wedges.
“Thanks Brian,” I smiled warmly and glanced down at my outfit.
“Okay we’re gonna get going,” Matt said, he moved to stand next to me but didn’t put his arm around me. I smiled and waved to Ivy who didn’t seem the least bit bothered to see us go. Matt looked gorgeous in a black shirt, dark jeans and dark tweed style jacket. His hair was styled and he was freshly shaven. I tried not to blush thinking how good his body felt flexing over mine.
“Have fun,” Adrienne said as we left.
We got back in Matt’s car, he was parking at the pub and then leaving it there. “You do look gorgeous,” he said with a smile. “That top is wow.”
“Thanks, you look pretty gorgeous yourself,” I smirked as we set off.
We pulled into the car park half an hour later and stepped up to the pub, Matt took my hand as I walked towards the entrance and I looked down at it. “This okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I smiled brightly to cover my confusion, I didn’t know if we were a couple or pretending we were or if people should see us holding hands. He squeezed my hand lightly and I turned to look straight ahead.
Serena waved me over from where she had secured a table with a group of guys, I recognised Jake and a few of the others from the last night out but luckily Lachlan wasn’t there. “Hi,” I smiled, dropping Matt’s hand as we walked to the table but when we stopped he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“Hi you two,” Serena jumped up and pulled me into a hug, “we’ve got a jug of some cocktail,” she grinned, “you want?”
I looked back at Matt, “sure,” I shrugged.
“I’ll go to the bar,” he nodded and Serena grinned at him.
“He’s gorgeous,” she whispered as he walked away.
“I know,” I grinned and rolled my eyes, “Lucky Ivy getting those genetics,” I laughed.
“Lucky you getting your hands all over that,” she laughed, pulling me to sit next to her. She watched me for a reaction, we hadn’t discussed what was happening with Matt even though they’d asked. They knew I kept things close to my chest and although it was probably obvious after the way he was at the competition, I struggled to admit everything out loud.
I gave her a glare and she smirked, pouring me a glass of something very red and very sweet smelling. “I can see the way he touches you and watches you, no way there is nothing going on.”
I shook my head and sipped the drink, wincing slightly at the sweet taste. She turned to the other men at the table behind her, we were the only girls, “you all remember Penny?” she asked and most people nodded.
“Hi Pen,” Jake raised his glass to me and I smiled.
“This body is amazing as well,” she grabbed my waist between her hands as we sat next to each other, “you are so toned.”
“You are too,” I sighed, “and you haven’t popped a baby out so your hips haven’t widened overnight.”
“Shut it!” she snapped, “I eat too much shit to be toned and your hips are awesome.”
“I second that,” Matt said from behind me and I turned to see him. “They are,” he sat in the spare seat next to me and placed his bottle of beer on the table.
Serena raised an eyebrow and gave me a knowing glare, “she does look just edible tonight,” Serena added with her index finger nail in her mouth and I narrowed my eyes at her as she looked like she was about to cause trouble, “she could have any guy she wanted in here tonight.”
Matt gave me a sideways glance and I sipped my drink with a smile, “only guy taking her home tonight is me,” he added, placing his hand on my thigh and giving it a squeeze.
“I knew it!” Serena shrieked, dipping her head closer to us, her long, blonde hair falling over her shoulder as she did, “so you are together?”
“No,” I said.
At the same time Matt said, “yes.”
I gave him a quick look of confusion and he pushed his eyebrows together perplexed.
“Oh, um,” Serena pulled herself back up to sitting straight, “I’ll leave you to talk that one out,” she smirked.
“No?” Matt asked, his dark, blue eyes were penetrating mine deeply, trying to understand my choice of words.
“Yes?” I asked, shaking my head a little, “are we?”
He sighed and looked at his bottle of beer, “well, yeah.”
I laughed, “you sound so convinced. It’s fine, I’m happy with what this is,” I leaned forward and touched his hand gently, “you don’t have to be seeing me.”
“Well what is it then?” He placed his hand on mine, “we’re together most nights, I miss you when we’re not together, we share a beautiful little girl and there’s no one else on the scene.” He grinned a little sheepishly, “I suppose I should take you out more rather than keep you holed up at home and in bed.”
I looked away from him and felt my face heat slightly at his last comment, “I’m happy with whatever this is, you don’t need to take me anywhere. You miss me?” I said, trying to suppress an ecstatic smile.
“Yeah,” he nodded and pulled my chair closer to him, so I sat between his legs. “I do,” he bent to kiss me “I’d say this means we’re together, unless you wanna keep your options open?” he teased.
“I have absolutely no time for anyone else,” I shook my head, teasing him a little, “you and Ivy are enough.”
“Me too,” he bent to kiss me again, “you two are all I want.”
After our discussion I felt euphoric that Matt said we were together. The last meaningful relationship I’d had had been an unmitigated disaster. I was twenty-two and he was a poet, we met at open mike night and he had some great chat up lines. He swept me off my feet and lived with me for three months until I found out that he also swept other girls off their feet at open mike night too. Bear had broken the news and it hurt, especially considering he was living with me rent free as he couldn’t get a job and his parents had kicked him out. I didn’t attract good guys, I wasn’t prepared for normal.
T
he pub filled up, the band prepped the small stage and the lights went down in preparation. We bought drink after drink and Matt chatted to the other guys as Serena and I chatted and laughed about stuff. Matt kept his arm draped around my chair or on my leg, keeping the contact with me at all times and I loved that, it made me feel wanted, needed and cared for. All feelings that meant so much more to me than anywhere he could take me or anything he could buy for me. A place to belong was my ultimate goal. When I was buzzed from the drink and as his words raced through my mind, I felt like we belonged, like I did and it was just as much a high as the booze.
The band played and I was surprised to see it was Lachlan’s band, I should have guessed, he threw himself into the bass, sweating and closing his eyes with passion. They were good, the singer had a deep, rough voice like Dave Grohl and it suited all the covers they belted out.
As the night wore on Serena and I jumped up off our chairs, and ran to the make shift dance floor in front of the band, grinding to an acoustic version of Rhianna ‘We Found Love’. A few songs in I felt strong arms behind me and turned to find Matt holding me from behind, I smiled up at him goofily and he pulled me into him.
“Everyone is watching the stunning little blonde on the dance floor and waiting for their chance to pounce,” he said, dropping his head to mine.
I grinned, “are you sure? Only you’ve been over so far,” I joked.
“I’m showing them it’s finders keepers before they pluck up the courage to approach,” he grinned, kissing me and I smiled into his kiss.
He grabbed my bum as we swayed to the music, “I think they’ve got the idea.” I said with lust filled eyes.
“I’m not sure everyone has seen just yet,” he bent to kiss me again, “I think the guy on the guitar needs to get an eyeful.”
I pulled back from him and raised my eyebrows in question, “what?” I laughed.
“Oh yeah Jake let it slip that his friend, Lachlan is in the band,” he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, “so I think we better let him know that you’re no longer available.”
