“Wanna play pool?”
Ethan lifted an eyebrow and looked up at Braydon’s face, still not looking him in the eye. “Do I ever want to play pool?”
Braydon had the decency to laugh and then he clapped Ethan on the back before walking away.
That was about the extent of his conversations with his brothers these days. Generally, Ethan managed to stay far away from them when they were in public because it always seemed to be that Ethan drew the negative attention that he didn’t want his family involved in. He knew without a doubt that his brothers wouldn’t stand for the shit that Ethan was put through from the bigots in their small town, and that was the main reason he kept them at arm’s length, even though he knew it irritated the shit out of them.
Focusing on his beer, Ethan forced his thoughts to remain in the present. He didn’t need to relive the past, and he certainly didn’t need to get his hopes up about something that wasn’t going to happen.
So it would be in his best interest if he focused on the only thing he knew… finding a way to be content with being alone.
Chapter Eight
♂♂
Beau knew he should go inside, but he couldn’t bring himself to get out of the truck. Maybe if he waited long enough Ethan would come outside. As it was, he had been sitting in the parking lot of Moonshiners for the last half hour, and it was getting late. But he was trying not to get his hopes up.
What was he going to do? Confront Ethan in a public place?
Actually, that’s exactly what he was originally planning to do. It was the least he wanted to do. Ethan had managed to avoid him throughout the day, and Beau was ready to talk. Didn’t matter that he was going to use the excuse of needing to come by and get his tools from the Walker Demolition shop tomorrow. That was just his way in.
But, the opportunity never presented itself, and after going by Walker Demo twice, he had finally given up. After all, he wasn’t going to chase Ethan.
Then why are you parked outside by his truck?
Beau shook his head, dislodging the thought. Ok, so yes, he was sitting in his truck like a pathetic loser when he could’ve been inside shooting the shit with his friends. Instead, he was hoping that Ethan would turn in early tonight, and he would have a chance to talk to him.
As though he’d conjured the image right from his thoughts, the door to Moonshiners opened and Ethan stepped out into the night. Once the door closed behind him, effectively muting the blare of country music coming from inside, Beau released his steering wheel and sucked in a breath.
He waited until Ethan walked passed on his way to his truck before he called out, “Hey.”
He could’ve sworn Ethan rolled his eyes. The idea made him smile. Although Ethan was playing hard to get, Beau knew good and damn well that Ethan felt whatever this was that was churning between them. It was omnipotent, there was no way he could avoid it.
“I’m off work, Bennett,” Ethan muttered, but had the decency to stop close to Beau’s open window.
Wanting to be closer, Beau climbed down from his truck and stood just a few feet away. “Good to know. I’m not here to talk about work.”
“In that case, I don’t have anything to say to you.”
Ethan turned to walk away, but Beau halted him with a very low, “Wait.”
Beau wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next, but what did happen hadn’t been in his plan. A second later, he found himself slammed up against his truck, Ethan’s big, warm body pressed solidly against him. He had to squeeze his hands into fists to keep from reaching for the man, pulling him even closer so he could taste him.
“When are you going to learn, Bennett?”
“What is it you think you’re teaching me?” he asked, locking eyes with Ethan.
“You don’t want this,” Ethan said, his voice low.
Arguing seemed to be a futile option because honestly it wasn’t going to get him anywhere, so Beau waited patiently to see what Ethan would say next. After all, at the moment, he had everything he wanted: Ethan plastered up against him, the hard ridge of Ethan’s cock belying his denial of what was going on between them, and the bewildered expression on Ethan’s sexy face.
“You don’t want this,” Ethan repeated, his voice containing less anger and more confusion.
Risking a move in such a public place, although they were shielded by his oversized truck and the lack of lights in the parking lot, Beau placed one hand gently on Ethan’s hip. Tilting his head as he studied him, Beau kept his tone serious when he said, “I want this more than you’ll ever understand.”
Why that was, Beau had absolutely no idea, but he was drawn to Ethan in ways he’d never been drawn to anyone. Not even Zane. Sure, Zane was his best friend, the guy he had grown up with and yes, Beau cared for Zane, but what he felt for Ethan was different. Significantly.
And it wasn’t only about the physical draw either. Beau wanted to get to know Ethan on a deeper level. He wanted to find out what made the guy tick and what caused all of the angst he had built up inside of him. Hell, Beau wanted Ethan – all of him – good, bad, ugly and everything in between.
“Sex? You want to fuck? If that’s the case, I’m your guy.” Ethan’s words were threaded with venom, but his eyes were softer, as though getting the words out were painful but necessary.
Squeezing Ethan’s hip gently, Beau forced himself to remain where he was, wanting to wrap his arms around Ethan and hold him, but refusing to do so here.
“Let’s get out of here,” Beau offered. “Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
“I don’t do the talking thing,” Ethan retorted.
Beau noticed Ethan was trying to distance himself, but he also realized Ethan wasn’t making any effort to pull away from him. The heat of his chest filled him with warmth, the smell of beer on his breath made Beau want to get closer, to inhale him completely until Ethan had no choice but to give in.
“With me, you can do the talking thing,” Beau assured him. “Come on.”
Considering Ethan had probably had a couple of beers, Beau felt better taking his own truck, so he nodded his head backward, gesturing toward it. “I’ll drive.”
He fully expected Ethan to balk at the request, but after a long moment, Ethan surprised them both by nodding his head, another strange expression on his face. Beau wasn’t willing to overanalyze it, he simply waited until Ethan took a step back and then around the front of the truck before climbing in.
So far. So good.
He only prayed the rest of the night was this easy.
♂♂
Should’ve said no.
Should’ve said no.
Should’ve said no.
The words continued on a constant loop in Ethan’s head as he sat in Beau’s truck.
After they left Moonshiners, Beau was kind enough to make a pit stop at the convenience store to pick up a six pack of beer. Now they were heading to the lake, despite the weather and the fact that Ethan’s stomach was churning with nerves. He hated the lake. Absolutely hated it. In fact, he had only been back there once or twice since the incident with Gavin all those years ago. When Beau mentioned where they were headed, Ethan managed to bite his tongue. He’d have pretty much preferred to go anywhere else.
The truck finally slowed as they pulled into a narrow alcove that allowed them to park close to the water without having to get out. Even with the moon shining brightly overhead, the black water was barely visible when Beau killed the headlights.
It didn’t take long for the silence to become a heavy weight in the stifling truck, so Ethan grabbed one of the beers from the six pack sitting on the center console.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Ethan asked testily once he had satisfied his thirst.
Beau shifted, his back pressing into the driver’s door as he angled himself to look at Ethan. The man made him nervous. And wasn’t that fucked up. Ethan didn’t do nervous. He didn’t give a shit enough to even be nervous. Yet with Beau, he f
elt like he had when…
No fucking way.
Ethan shook off the thought. He wasn’t going back there. He’d already relived part of the memory, he damn sure didn’t have it in him to go through more tonight. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the truck to get him to relive all of what happened that night.
“Being the strong silent type ain’t gonna get you many dates, Bennett,” Ethan said snidely, downing the rest of his beer.
“Dating isn’t high on my priority list at the moment.”
Well, there was a shocker.
“When did you realize you were gay?” Ethan asked suddenly, the question tumbling out of his mouth before he could think better of it.
Beau turned and looked out the front windshield for a moment before answering. “I’ve known for a while.”
“Have you dated a guy before?”
“Once.”
From that single word, Ethan got the impression Beau wasn’t looking to expand on his answer. Too bad for him. If Beau was insisting on pushing Ethan out of his comfort zone, it was only fair he suffer the same way. “When?”
Beau looked back at him, his intense gaze sending a strange sensation across Ethan’s skin. The man was… the only word he could come up with was… beautiful. And oddly enough, most people probably wouldn’t think that way when they saw him.
Not only was he tall, he was tremendously built. Like a football player. And now that Ethan thought about it, Beau had always been that way.
He obviously spent time in the gym. A lot of time if Ethan had to guess. Ethan was leaner, lacking quite so much bulk, but that was likely due to their body types. He spent several hours a week working out, but only with the equipment he kept at the shop. His motive for working out was to be strong, capable of defending himself if need be. Never again would he get caught lacking in that area.
Between working at the shop, the few hours a week that he dedicated to weight-lifting, and helping to take care of the few horses his parents and Travis had on the ranch, Ethan didn’t find much time to do anything more. Nor did he have the energy. But Beau filled him with an energy that had been lacking for some time and he didn’t know why that was.
“Back in March,” Beau said and Ethan remembered what he had asked.
“How many dates did y’all go on?”
Beau laughed, the sound callous and lacking any enthusiasm whatsoever.
“One. That’s all I needed.”
“Y’all didn’t hit it off?”
Beau shook his head in response and Ethan continued to regard him in the shadows. The blue lights from the dashboard highlighted the hard angles of his face, making him even sexier. If that was even possible.
“Dinner? Dancing? Movies?” Ethan asked, encouraging Beau to talk. After all, Beau was the one who wanted to chat.
“Dinner.”
Something niggled at Ethan when Beau answered. There was a question lingering somewhere in his subconscious, but he couldn’t think clearly enough to put the words together.
“His name was Joe. I met him one afternoon when I went into Austin for parts. He was the first guy to ever approach me like that. I was stunned. And a little curious.”
“A little curious?”
“Yeah. I’d just come to terms with the fact that I’m not straight.”
Ethan noticed that Beau didn’t say he was gay. He had specifically stated that he wasn’t straight. Did that mean he was bisexual?
“Were you attracted to him?”
“He was a decent looking guy. I’d talked to him on several occasions because he ran one of the parts stores that I frequented. Outgoing, funny. So yeah, I was attracted to him.”
“And he took you to dinner?”
“We met at a restaurant in Hutto.”
Ding. Ding. Ding. The warning bells sounded in his head, and Ethan immediately remembered what he had wanted to ask Beau. “That’s when you saw Blake?”
Beau’s head swiveled slowly until their eyes met across the cab. “Yeah. I saw him.”
“With another guy?”
“Yeah.”
“And you didn’t think to mention it to me?”
Beau’s eyebrows furrowed, his shoulders tensed slightly. “It wasn’t any of my business.”
Fair enough. Ethan knew he could find all the reasons in the world to argue, but decided against it. The fact that Blake wasn’t part of his life anymore didn’t bother Ethan. He wasn’t fond of being cheated on, but it was in the past.
“So, you and Joe. Dinner.”
“Yeah,” Beau said, a small smile tipping the very corners of his lips. Ethan fought the urge to lick his own lips because he was suddenly extremely interested in kissing the man.
But for some reason, this talking thing… he kinda liked it.
Chapter Nine
♂♂
Beau didn’t particularly want to go into the specifics of the clusterfuck of a date he’d had, but he liked that Ethan was asking questions. For now, it looked as though the guy had dropped all of that tough exterior. Then again, he was halfway through his second beer and who knew how many he’d had at Moonshiners. Ethan’s inquisition may be based purely on liquid courage, but Beau considered it progress regardless.
“We met for dinner. At first, it was nice. Normal. We have a lot in common from a work perspective, so we didn’t lack for anything to talk about.” Beau remembered the instant that night had taken a downturn. “We were halfway through the meal when Joe mentioned sleeping together.”
Ethan’s eyebrow cocked in that sexy way that Beau liked. He was obviously interested in the story. “Were you planning to sleep with him?”
Beau laughed, glancing back out the front window as his face heated with embarrassment. He had never been the type to openly talk about sex – at least not when he wasn’t having it. “No. I hadn’t considered it at that point.” Glancing back at Ethan, Beau noticed the skeptical look. “What?”
“You went on a date but hadn’t considered sleeping with the guy?”
“First date,” Beau reminded him, as though that should explain everything.
“Go on.”
“So, halfway through dinner, Joe started talking about sex. He wanted to know whether I was a top or a bottom.”
“Clearly a top,” Ethan murmured, his eyes opening substantially as though he didn’t mean to say the words.
“And you would know this how?”
Ethan laughed, the sound making Beau’s entire body hum to life. He loved the sound of Ethan’s laugh. Maybe because it was so rare, but the few times he’d heard it over the years, Beau had always noted it.
“You’re not a top?”
“I don’t have a preference,” Beau said honestly. Considering he’d never been a top, and had only been with one man – a man who clearly wasn’t gay – Beau didn’t know which he would enjoy more. “Anyway…,” he continued with a smile, “Joe was convinced that I couldn’t be the top because there was no way I’d fit.”
Ethan laughed again, the warm, rich sound filling the truck and eliminating every ounce of tension that had been there since he put the truck in Park.
“That’s what he wanted to talk about? Over dinner?”
“Yup,” Beau responded, laughing. “Needless to say, if that’s what you’re supposed to do on a date, I think I’m going to need some time to adjust before I do it again.”
Neither of them said anything for a minute or two, and when Ethan grabbed a third beer, Beau shifted again to face him more fully. “What about you? What was your first date like?”
Beau didn’t think Ethan was going to answer when he focused his attention on draining the beer bottle in his hand, but he waited him out. He was nothing if not patient. After all, he’d spent his entire life tagging along with Zane, the guy had the attention span of a gnat and Beau had learned to sit back and wait because likely things would change in an instant with him.
“I don’t date.”
Beau found that hard to believe. Sure, he got
that Ethan didn’t intentionally form relationships, but the guy was unquestionably monogamous. Over the years, there hadn’t been many that Beau had noticed, but Ethan had lovers. Admitting it or not, it didn’t change the fact that he got close to people.
“How’d you meet Blake?” Beau knew Blake wasn’t from Coyote Ridge.
“By accident.”
Beau wasn’t impressed with Ethan’s half ass response and considering he had opened up, he was going to insist Ethan do the same.
“Work?”
“You could say that.”
Being that Blake was a mechanic, it was logical that Ethan met him that way. He didn’t honestly care for the logistics. The less Blake interfered in their day to day, the better off Beau would be. And that included in conversation.
“Mind if I ask you something personal?” Beau figured he would warn Ethan before he asked his next question. It didn’t matter what Ethan said, he was still going to ask it.
Ethan glanced over, a sexy grin on his lips. “If I say no, you’re gonna ask anyway, aren’t you?”
“Yup,” he said easily and paused only briefly. “When did you realize you were gay?” He knew the question was personal, but Beau didn’t have anyone to talk to about his thoughts and fears. He didn’t think Zane would understand, and he knew without a doubt that Zane was uncomfortable with the situation as a whole. Or maybe he wasn’t, and Beau was. Either way, Ethan seemed like the ideal person to ask.
“I think I’ve always known,” Ethan said solemnly, his tone low and serious, his attention focused on the blackness just outside the truck window.
“Have you been with a woman?”
Ethan didn’t look at him when he said, “No.”
Beau hadn’t thought he had, but he was curious.
Not wanting to push too far, he let the subject drop, figuring they could pick that conversation up at a later date.
Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) Page 8
