Still staring at Ethan, Beau had the sudden longing to get closer to him.
And he was fucking tired of waiting.
♂♂
Ethan felt the moment the energy in the truck morphed into something combustible. He had answered Beau’s questions, maybe not in depth, but he had to give himself a pat on the back for at least answering.
But now, from what Ethan sensed in the air between them, Beau was tired of talking. Finally. He knew it wouldn’t take long for Beau to come around. Sex was something Ethan understood. Even if he didn’t want to get involved with Beau on the level he knew Beau was looking for, he didn’t have it in him to deny the intense attraction between them.
When Beau moved, setting the last three bottles in the six pack onto the floor and lifting the center console up so that there was adequate space between them, Ethan’s stomach took a dive. His anxiety level had skyrocketed in recent seconds, rapidly increasing with every breath he took.
Beau didn’t waste any time, moving closer as they stared at one another. “See, this,” Ethan said, gesturing between them, “this I can handle.”
“We’ll see about that,” Beau said daringly, his brusque remark making Ethan’s body temperature spike.
Before he could disagree, or come to his senses, Beau was leaning closer, his lips hovering just millimeters from his. God, he smelled delicious. Spicy, rich, sexy.
“Fucking hell,” Beau muttered and then their mouths were on one another, Ethan’s hands coming up to grip his head, hold him closer.
Their tongues dueled, and the memory of Christmas when Beau had kissed him flooded his mind and his body. He wanted this man. He wanted him with everything in him, consequences be damned.
Fuck.
Pulling Beau closer, Ethan slid his fingers into the soft, silky hair at his nape, his body warring with sensation after sensation. The warmth of Beau’s mouth, the insistence of his tongue, the sweet sound of his labored breaths. The man was sex personified, and Ethan was starved for him.
“You taste good,” Beau mumbled, his lips pulling back slightly, but not far enough that Ethan had to let go of him.
“No more talking,” Ethan said, pulling him in until their lips were locked and their tongues danced against one another.
It was just too damned bad they were confined in the small truck cab. Considering their heights, it wasn’t physically possible for them to get any closer than they were, but Ethan wished they were skin to skin. Sliding one hand down Beau’s shoulder, then over his chest, he tugged his t-shirt out from his jeans until he could touch his bare skin.
The second his fingers made contact with the taut, fiery flesh, Beau’s breath hitched in his chest. God, Ethan wanted to run his mouth over him, to taste his skin, outline the angles of his muscles with his tongue.
Beau groaned, and Ethan grinned.
“Think about what it would be like if I had you naked,” Ethan mumbled against Beau’s mouth.
“I’m not sure I’d survive it.”
And wasn’t that the damned truth.
Gripping Beau’s head more firmly, Ethan deepened the kiss, licking into his mouth, searching, seeking, devouring. His kiss was like a drug, instantly giving him a high unlike anything he had known before.
And to think, Beau hadn’t even touched him yet.
Running his hand around to Beau’s back, he flattened his palm over smooth, warm skin, up and down, back and forth, unable to get enough of touching him. The way his muscles flexed and bunched beneath his fingers was so fucking hot.
Ethan just wanted to be laid out beneath him, to have Beau’s glorious weight hovering above him, skin to skin, chest to chest. He wanted to tangle his legs with Beau’s and hold him to him.
But none of that could happen where they were, and they both knew it. Unfortunately, it appeared Beau had more self-control than Ethan did because his hands weren’t reaching for him.
“Touch me,” Ethan pleaded, not giving a shit if he had reached the point of begging.
“I can’t,” Beau whispered, pulling back slightly.
Ethan’s hands stilled as he stared back at Beau. What the fuck did he mean he couldn’t?
“If I touch you, I won’t be able to stop,” Beau explained, obviously aware of Ethan’s immediate moment of panic. “And when I get my hands on you for the first time, I don’t plan to rush things.”
He wanted to argue, to tell Beau that there wouldn’t be another opportunity, but he knew as well as Beau that that would be a lie. There would be another time. He couldn’t resist Beau, even though every red flag in his brain was at full mast, signaling for him to take caution.
“And when do you plan to do this?” Ethan asked, trying to calm himself down.
“Soon,” Beau said, pressing his lips to Ethan’s softly. “Very soon.”
Ethan studied him for a moment. “But not tonight?”
“No. Not tonight.”
Ethan hated how much control Beau had and how little he was apparently showing. He was supposed to be pushing him away, making sure that great divide remained between them because Ethan knew he would never survive with a guy like Beau. He’d be overwhelmed by things he swore he would never feel again.
Tonight was just proof. He had let down his guard, given in to Beau in ways he refused to do with anyone else. He didn’t talk. Didn’t ask questions. He preferred to be alone to wallow in his own self-pity, not get close to anyone. Sex was sex, fucking was fucking.
This… this was none of those things and Ethan knew without a doubt that he was in way over his head.
The problem was… he was fighting a losing battle and he was tired.
So damn tired.
♂♂
The urge to touch Ethan, to put his hands on him was so great, Beau was surprised his muscles weren’t bulging from the effort he put forth to keep his body still. Just kissing him was pushing him beyond his limits. He wanted more.
Thankfully, the limited space within the truck wouldn’t allow for anything more. And Beau knew in his head that he didn’t want to push it. He’d brought Ethan here to talk, and that’s what they had done up to this point. He wanted to get close to Ethan, and not just physically.
He knew Ethan would use sex against him if they gave in right now to the uncontrollable urges that were building between them. It would be rough and hot and wonderful. But it would be a one-time deal and Beau wasn’t willing to settle for one time. He wanted much more than that which was why he was testing his own limits.
As Ethan’s hand moved across his skin, leaving razor sharp tingles in its wake, he wondered if the man was trying to make him explode. His dick was like a steel spike lodged painfully in his jeans and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. The only positive, the pain was a constant reminder that he had to hold back. This wasn’t the time or place for this.
“When?”
It took a moment for Beau to realize what Ethan was asking, and when he did, he smirked. “Not as soon as I’d like, but I assure you, it’ll be soon.”
Ethan nodded as though that answer was sufficient, but the way his fingers dug into his skin told him otherwise. They were hanging by a thread, both of them. Pushing back, Beau put some space between them until Ethan’s hand slid around to his stomach and then fell from beneath his shirt. Beau immediately missed his touch.
“Let me take you home,” Beau told him. “You’ve got work tomorrow, and I’ve got some errands to run.” Beau wasn’t going to say he had to go look for a job because he wasn’t interested in ruining the moment.
Ethan nodded, but before Beau could move back to the driver’s seat, he was being pulled back, Ethan’s mouth latching on to his, sucking his tongue in deep and driving him crazy with lust. A throaty growl emerged from his chest as he pressed Ethan into the seat with his body, still refusing to touch him with his hands.
They ravished one another with only their mouths until they had to come up for air. That was the only thing that stopped them though.
Grinning, Beau whispered, “I know,” against Ethan’s lips. “And you’ve got me.”
The last part was probably too much, but he sensed the vulnerability in Ethan’s words. He had admitted his need, something he’d denied for months now and Beau wasn’t about to let him get away without knowing just how affected he was.
“Now let me get you home.”
Ethan nodded, and this time he let Beau move back to the driver’s seat. Before he pulled out of the spot, Ethan opened the window and tossed the empty beer bottles into the truck bed. The freezing air that whipped through the cab did remarkably little to cool his overheated libido.
It was going to be a lonely night, he could feel it.
Chapter Ten
♂♂
“Honey, I’m home,” Ethan called out when he stepped into the empty shop the following morning at about nine o’clock.
Thanks to a nasty headache – he refused to call it a hangover – he’d taken his time that morning. Didn’t matter what time it was, there was no one there to greet him, but he wasn’t expecting anyone to be either.
Grabbing the remote to the stereo system, Ethan clicked the power button, filling the cavernous space with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ White Walls. At least there’d be some noise to fill the empty space. Something that wasn’t going to make him feel pathetic and lonely.
Like talking to himself didn’t already do a good enough job.
After dropping the wrecker’s keys that he’d ended up taking home onto his toolbox, Ethan headed over to his office to plug in his phone. Two days in a row he’d been too distracted to even charge the damn thing.
Before he went back to the truck he had been working on the day before, Ethan set up and then clicked on the coffee maker, waiting impatiently for that first dose that would help him clear his head. Minutes later, he poured a cup, not even waiting for it to cool before he sipped anxiously.
A few minutes later, after downing one full cup and now armed with his oversized mug, he surveyed the truck that had taken up a considerable amount of his time this last week. As it turned out, the twins were hard on their vehicles, and that usually meant one or both of their trucks were sitting in the shop these days. This week it was Brendon’s.
Before he could muster up the strength to get to work, the song on the radio changed to End of My Rope by Trapt and Ethan suddenly felt every single hour of sleep he had missed over the course of the last month. Including last night.
Considering he’d been nice and buzzed, he had expected to pass out easily. No such luck. With his brain on overload from the incident with Beau in the truck, Ethan had been hard pressed to sleep for more than just a few minutes at a time. Dragging his ass out of bed that morning was nearly impossible, as was getting his body moving.
For the first time in a long time, he didn’t want to immerse himself in an engine, he wanted to take a break. A lengthy one. Embracing the exhaustion for the first time in months, Ethan moved over to the old dilapidated desk that was used to hold spare tools and after making enough room, he took a seat on its scarred surface, his legs hanging over the edge, his feet still touching the floor.
Out of habit, he had propped open the main door when he came in, and it wasn’t long before he heard tires crunching on gravel. Please don’t let it be Blake. Ethan wasn’t sure he could handle another confrontation with the guy. Not yet. Hell, he hoped not ever.
Sipping his coffee, he waited patiently for whoever his visitor was to make their appearance. He didn’t have to wait long, and the moment Beau stepped through the door, Ethan’s breath lodged in his chest. If he didn’t get over this attraction, Ethan feared he was going to need some respiratory equipment just to stay alive. He had been robbed of breath more times than he could count in recent days just from the mere sight of Beau.
This time was no different from any of the others.
“Mornin’.” Beau stared at him and then back out the door before turning back. Ethan just continued to look at him. The memories of last night, the drugging kisses he had shared with the sexy man standing just a few yards away… it was more than his over processed brain could handle at the moment.
“You got the keys to the wrecker?” Beau asked, stopping only a couple of steps into the shop.
Ethan regarded him for a moment and then blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, “Want a cup of coffee?”
Coffee? What the fuck was wrong with him? The better answer would’ve been a simple “yes” and nothing more.
A sexy smile tipped the corners of Beau’s mouth and a shudder coursed down Ethan’s spine.
“Sure,” he said, nodding his head toward the office. “Is it made?”
“I probably oughtta make another pot,” Ethan said, not bothering to get up. He was too tired to move. Never mind the fact that he didn’t want to get closer to Beau. Not any closer than he would have to. Because at this point, he couldn’t be held responsible for his own actions.
It wasn’t enough that his brain was on overload, but now his body was as well. On top of that, just coming up with enough energy to maintain a safe emotional distance from the man was more than he was up for right now. It felt like he’d been doing it for months.
Now that he thought about it, Ethan realized he had been trying to stay away from Beau for months. No wonder he was tired. The guy wasn’t all that easy to resist.
Ethan watched Beau slip into the office, disappearing from view for a couple of minutes. To pass the time, he stared down at his hands, flipping them over repeatedly, hardly seeing the work roughened skin or his short, clipped fingernails.
“I know it seems like I’m always asking you this, but are you all right?” Beau asked when he joined him once again, a cup of coffee in one hand, the other tucked into the pocket of his jeans.
Ethan looked at Beau. Actually looked at him, unable to say anything in response to his question. It seemed odd that Beau was always asking him that; however, it was even stranger that he seemed to be the only one. It was almost as though Ethan had successfully isolated himself from the rest of society to the point people didn’t even bother to see how he was doing anymore.
He had to wonder why Beau hadn’t taken the hint the way everyone else had.
“I’ve been better,” he said honestly, never breaking eye contact. He could only blame the need to give in for a minute or two on the exhaustion that had suddenly overwhelmed him. It was hard to keep up his defenses all the time, to never let his guard down, but right at that moment, his guard didn’t even exist.
At least not with Beau.
“Need some help around here?” Beau asked, glancing across the open space, his gaze returning to meet his moments later.
Ethan wanted to tell him no, but the truth was, he actually did need help. As much of a burden as Blake had been, at least the guy could pump out work when he did decide to show up. And now that Blake was no longer part of his day to day, the only thing Ethan had to look forward to were hours of time spent by himself and tons of work backing up in the meantime.
Ethan chuckled and glanced down at his hands again. What was he going to say? Yes. That definitely wasn’t going to help this situation any.
“You don’t want to say yes, do you?” Beau asked, moving closer.
Ethan looked back up at him, wondering if this man understood him as well as it seemed he did.
Beau looked around again, then grinned back at Ethan. “I know this guy,” he began with a sexy smirk. “He’s kinda in need of work at the moment. He’s pretty handy beneath the hood.”
Ethan laughed, letting all of the tension drain out of him for the first time in what felt like years. “Yeah? Does he know it requires long hours?”
“I heard he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty. And I’m pretty sure he hasn’t tak
en a vacation in… well, in years actually.”
“Yeah?” Ethan studied Beau for a moment. “He’s not looking to take one anytime soon, is he?”
“Nope.”
Ethan figured bringing Beau on board was better than letting Jared get involved. Who knew what kind of asshole he’d be stuck with if his cousin got a say in who was hired. “Well, when you see this guy, let him know I need him to be here at seven o’clock tomorrow morning.”
Beau nodded his head, that sexy smirk morphing into a devastating grin. “What if I told you he’s free today?”
Ethan knew it was time to get serious with Beau for a minute. As much as he was enjoying this conversation, and as much as he truly was looking forward to having someone who would come in and knock out the work that was piling up, Ethan wanted Beau to understand what he was really getting into.
Because it damn sure didn’t look like this attraction between the two of them was lessening any. And Ethan was doing his damnedest to keep up his defenses, but there was only so much one man could do.
Sliding off of the table, Ethan left his coffee mug behind as he got to his feet and cleared the distance between him and Beau in an instant. To his surprise, Beau actually backed up a couple of steps.
“You scared of me?” Ethan asked, not quite sure where the question came from.
Beau smiled again, this time a wicked grin that had Ethan tempted to back up a few feet.
“Quite the opposite actually.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Ethan took another step closer and watched as Beau looked around. Wondering what he was searching for, Ethan was surprised when Beau set his coffee mug down on the closest toolbox.
“And what makes you think this will work out? You working here?” Ethan asked, remembering what he’d walked over to say.
“When it comes to work, I’m here to work.”
Of all the things he didn’t know about Beau, he did know the guy was a hard worker. Always had been.
Ethan moved even closer, satisfied when Beau took one more step back and found himself up against the corrugated metal wall.
Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) Page 9
