God, if Beau ever found out that Ethan was responsible for what happened to Gavin, he would probably never want anything to do with him again.
♂♂
Beau held Ethan close, Ethan’s back crushed against his chest with Beau’s arm curled beneath Ethan’s head. They had fallen asleep like that, had been like that for hours and it wasn’t until Ethan began thrashing that Beau had awakened. At first he’d been confused about where he was. Then when he heard Ethan’s panicked voice, his guttural scream, Beau had been brought from his sleepy stupor and right into reality.
Ethan had been having a nightmare. A terrible one if Beau had to guess. Even now, he wondered if Ethan would even try to go to sleep after that. Neither of them were moving and Beau wasn’t going to let him go if he didn’t have to, so he’d be happy to lay there for hours, awake, watching over him. He wanted to protect Ethan, even from himself and if that meant he had to stay awake so that Ethan could get some rest, it was what he was going to do.
His offer to listen had been accepted exactly the way he expected. Ethan wasn’t going to talk. Maybe not ever, but Beau wanted him to know he was there. He would always be there. For as long as Ethan would have him.
Ethan shifted, reaching across the mattress and Beau had to loosen his hold briefly. When he realized Ethan was reaching for the nightstand, a shiver of awareness raced down his spine.
“Turn over,” Ethan said, his voice much steadier than minutes before.
Beau watched him carefully for a moment before turning over onto his stomach, his head turned so that he could watch Ethan. He kept him in his sights as Ethan rolled a condom over himself before grabbing the bottle of lube that still remained on the bedside table. It was clear what Ethan’s intentions were, and if this was what he needed, Beau would give it to him. Not that he thought it would help, but if anything, it would allow Beau to feel closer to him. And he hoped Ethan would feel the same.
When Ethan eased over him, his slick cock sliding between his ass cheeks, Beau’s body hummed to life. The heavy weight of Ethan was like a blanket surrounding him and Beau welcomed the skin to skin contact. Ethan’s chest was damp from sweat as he lay against him.
Neither of them spoke, nothing to be said, but Beau felt every emotion Ethan locked up inside as he slid his cock inside of him, slowly. Ever so slowly.
Beau gripped Ethan’s wrists when he propped himself over him, holding on to him while Ethan began a slow glide and retreat. He turned his head when Ethan came closer, trying to find his mouth in the darkness. When their tongues met, Beau pushed up so that he could have better access, Ethan’s fingers linking with his as he continued to bury himself deeper.
As Ethan found solace in Beau’s body, he found solace in the fact that Ethan was reaching out to him, needing him. Ethan might never be able to tell Beau what he needed, but Beau knew. Words weren’t the only way to be heard. And Beau heard Ethan loud and clear. This man might keep himself isolated, but his heart beat like everyone else’s.
“Beau,” Ethan whispered softly, his breath fanning over Beau’s lips.
“I’m here, E.” Always here. Beau left off the last words, but he prayed that Ethan knew that already.
Nothing else was said aloud from that moment on, but for a long time, their bodies spoke to one another. It was a give and take, both of them seeking what the other was offering, taking what was needed.
And in those moments, Beau realized he would never be able to walk away from this man. Not without having his heart shattered into a million jagged pieces.
Somewhere along the way, as he ventured down the winding, bumpy path that led him to Ethan, Beau had fallen in love.
Chapter Twenty Six
♂♂
“Goddammit!” Ethan roared, throwing the wrench at the metal wall of the shop before stomping off. He had just spent the entire fucking morning working on Brendon’s goddamn truck, and for the life of him, he couldn’t get it to start.
It was his own fault he knew. He couldn’t concentrate.
“Hey!” Beau hollered from the other side of the shop, his body rising up from where he’d been perched beneath one of the trucks they got in just that morning needing routine maintenance.
Ethan ignored Beau’s attempt to get his attention. He knew he just slipped past pissed off and into riled up territory, but he couldn’t help it. Without responding to Beau, Ethan merely stormed into his office and slammed the door behind him. Shit, he was surprised the damn office even had a door. He was pretty sure it’d never been closed before.
Dropping into his chair, Ethan stared down at his cluttered desk, sliding his hands into his hair and pulling hard. He had to focus, had to stop thinking about that fucking nightmare, but every time he closed his eyes, there he was, right back by the lake, Jimmy beating him until he couldn’t even think through the pain. And Gavin… Gavin had stood there watching, never trying to help.
The door was pushed open moments later, but Ethan didn’t look up when he said, “Ever think of knocking?”
Sure, he knew he was being an ass, but he couldn’t shake it. He was being pulled in all directions, remembering the fight at Moonshiners, the fucked up nightmare that had resurfaced, and of course, these feelings he’d developed for Beau but wanted nothing to do with.
Ethan finally looked up, realizing Beau hadn’t answered him. What he saw was a man who obviously wasn’t interested in putting up with Ethan’s shit. Not that he could blame him. His mood sucked.
The guy was a goddamn saint, and even that pissed Ethan off.
“You can’t fix this, so don’t even bother to try,” Ethan grumbled, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. A few seconds later, he opened them when he heard the click of the door closing, thinking Beau had vacated the room only to find him still staring back at him.
Hauling himself up out of his chair, Ethan tried to move past Beau, but couldn’t. The man was the equivalent of a brick wall.
“Fucking move,” Ethan barked, not even attempting to sound polite.
Just when he thought Beau couldn’t shock him into submission, he found himself turned around, facing the wall with Beau pressed up against him much like he had the night before when Ethan had had a similar meltdown.
“What are –?”
“Quiet,” Beau growled. “Don’t move.”
For whatever reason, Ethan’s body obeyed as Beau’s weight shifted away from him. He heard another click and realized Beau had just locked the office door. A flood of desire swept over him even though he had no idea what Beau’s intentions were. Well, he kinda did.
Ethan was still palming the wall when Beau returned, the heat of his body easing the sizzle of anger in his veins. He waited, holding his breath to see what was going to happen, and when Beau leaned in close, his warm breath against his ear, a shiver raced down Ethan’s spine.
Fucking hell.
Beau nipped his ear, a shockwave of pleasure/pain bolting through him as his dick spiked to attention. “What the fuck was that for?” he asked, trying to sound appalled, but unable to disguise the hunger that fueled him.
“No talking,” Beau said gruffly, his hands reaching around to unhook Ethan’s belt. Within seconds, Beau had Ethan’s cock freed from the prison of his jeans. Letting his head fall back, Ethan relaxed against Beau’s body as he stroked him.
“I’ve wanted to do this all day,” Beau said, his grip firm and unyielding on Ethan’s throbbing dick.
Ethan couldn’t form a rational thought as the pleasure consumed him. Rocking his hips forward, he tried to increase the friction against Beau’s skilled hand, but the man held all of the power, keeping his release just out of reach.
“Beau,” Ethan moaned, reaching around and gripping Beau’s thighs with each hand, holding on for dear life as the sensations assaulted him tenfold.
“Say it again,” Beau whispered against his ear.
“Beau.” Ethan would say his name all day if Beau would continue doing what he was doing. He lov
ed the feel of him, the safety he felt in his arms, the irresistible urge to give himself over to him for safe keeping.
He had never felt that way before. Never.
Just when he thought he was going to find some relief in the spontaneous hand job, Beau shifted, twisting them so that Ethan was facing the desk. He had to brace himself with his hands to keep from face planting on the top when Beau forced him forward.
“Fuck,” Ethan grumbled when Beau released him, shoving his jeans down to his knees.
There was a rough edge to Beau's movements, and Ethan wondered whether he was doing it for Ethan’s benefit or because that’s what the moment warranted. For some reason, he hoped for a little of both.
Ethan didn’t turn to look behind him, but from the sound of it, Beau was freeing his cock. Ethan prayed that’s what he was doing because he needed something more. He heard the sound of foil ripping and his dick pulsed in anticipation.
Beau reached around him and pulled open the desk drawer. What was…? Holy shit, the man had stashed a tube of lubrication in the office. The fact that he had planned this made Ethan burn that much hotter.
“Please.”
“Please what?” Beau asked from directly behind him once again.
“Fuck me,” Ethan moaned, leaning forward as he shoved some of the mismatched parts out of the way, a few of them crashing to the tiled floor.
Beau’s fingers slid between the crack of his ass, penetrating him instantly and making him sway from the glorious friction that erupted inside him. But Beau didn’t allow him time to get acclimated to the wondrous feeling of being fucked by his fingers before his hand disappeared and Beau plunged his cock inside of him. The initial thrust had Ethan’s breath hitching in his throat.
When Beau leaned forward, not moving an inch, Ethan searched for his hands and tangled their fingers together against the desk, holding onto Beau because he needed the security of him. The anger was subsiding, being replaced with an emotion much scarier. He knew what he was feeling for Beau wasn’t purely sexual, although having him this close, feeling the heat of his body, the sensual invasion of his cock, only stirred the pot of emotions that were continuing to grow.
Beau moved his hips, pulling out and sliding back inside until Ethan moaned from the sheer ecstasy of it. “Beau,” he groaned his name, keeping himself in the moment.
“Feel good?” Beau asked, his voice gruff with what sounded a lot like need.
“Yes,” Ethan confirmed. “Fuck me.” The plea came out tortured, very similar to the way Ethan felt on the inside most days. He had never considered how difficult it was to keep himself closed off to everyone because he’d gotten so adept at doing it. Until Beau.
Until Beau waltzed into his life and pulled him right out of the shadows where he kept himself securely hidden. He felt exposed in more ways than one, but more so when they were like this.
“Fuck me,” Ethan ground out, practically begging as he shoved his hips against Beau, trying to get back to an even playing field. He was not going to give in to the emotion. Not going to let the anger morph into something else. This was what he needed, what he was familiar with, and Beau was willing to give him this.
Beau pulled back slowly, his warmth disappearing from his back, but strong, firm hands gripped Ethan’s hips moments before Beau slammed back into him. From that point on, Ethan got lost in Beau, letting the pleasure build again, his cock hard as steel as he palmed it, stroking in rhythm with the pounding of Beau’s hips.
“Baby,” Ethan moaned. “Beau, I’m close. So fucking close.”
“Come for me, E. I want you to come for me.”
Beau continued to pound into him, fast, hard, perfect. The rhythm took Ethan to another place where there was no pain, only absolute, soul-healing ecstasy, and he knew without a doubt the only place he would find it was right there in Beau’s arms.
When Beau slid his fingers into his hair, pulling him back until he was nearly upright against him, Ethan gave in. Slowing his thrusts, Beau shoved deep inside, pulled out slowly and then gripped Ethan’s cock and stroked until Ethan was nearly blind with the intensity of their joining.
“Come for me, E,” Beau breathed against his mouth. “Only for me.”
Ethan placed his hand over Beau’s where he was stroking him. Within seconds, he was hovering on the edge of a release he was sure would knock him off his feet. Thank God Beau was behind him. Ethan only prayed he would catch him if he fell.
♂♂
Beau’s legs were growing weak as he thrust into Ethan, the solid wall of his body flush against him, his hips moving faster as he fucked him into oblivion.
This was heaven on Earth, and it didn’t matter one bit that they were in a small, cramped office filled with clutter. The fact that Beau was with Ethan was all that mattered. The way Ethan said his name was all that he cared about. And the way he continued to touch him, an obvious attempt to keep that additional connection was all Beau needed.
“Oh, fuck,” Ethan cried out, his cock jerking in Beau’s hand as he came in powerful bursts. “Beau,” Ethan breathed deep, “it feels too good.”
Nothing was too good as far as Beau was concerned because every time they were together, it just got better and better.
Beau released Ethan’s cock and gripped his hips as he plowed into him over and over, unable to hold off his climax any longer. He growled low and long as his hips slammed into Ethan’s one last time, then stilled as he came.
Coming down from the high he got when he was with Ethan took more time than it should have. One good thing, Ethan’s frustration level had dissipated almost entirely. For long minutes after Beau exploded inside of Ethan, he’d simply stood there, holding on to him, refusing to let go. And to Beau’s surprise, Ethan hadn’t tried to move either.
Now that they’d managed to clean themselves – and the office – up a bit, Beau figured it was as good a time as any to bring up the next subject he wanted to broach with Ethan.
With Ethan sitting in the creaky desk chair, Beau propped himself up against the desk with his arms crossed over his chest. Neither of them had made an attempt to go back to work either.
Turning, he looked over his shoulder at Ethan. “I’ve been thinking,” Beau stated calmly when Ethan just stared back at him.
“Great. Just what I need. A fucking mechanic who thinks,” Ethan smarted, playful and light, much more acceptable than the aggravation that had filled him earlier.
“It’s what I do,” Beau said on a laugh. “I’ve got other skills too, you know.”
Ethan laughed. “Don’t I know it.”
Ethan’s statement filled Beau with contentment.
“What have you been thinking about?” Ethan asked a second or two later.
Beau gave him a suggestive look, letting Ethan read into it what he wanted to.
Ethan’s slow smile was mischievous and sexy as hell, nearly redirecting Beau’s attention, but somehow he managed to keep his train of thought. “About getting a tattoo.”
Ethan’s eyebrow rose. “And you were thinking about this today?”
“Yup.”
“Why’s that?”
“No idea. Where’d you get yours done?”
Ethan appeared to be thinking, although Beau found it difficult to believe the guy didn’t instantly remember where he’d received the tattoo.
“Why?”
“Why ask so many fucking questions?” Beau retorted, beaming another smile at Ethan in an attempt to break up the tension in his voice.
“Fuck you, Bennett,” Ethan said with a laugh. There was a subtle change in Ethan’s posture, his shoulders tensing slightly before he said, “The guy I went to is in Houston.”
Beau had to wonder why so far away. He was sure there were plenty of acceptable tattoo artists in Austin. Not that he was going to question Ethan because that would likely put a damper on the tension free moment they were sharing.
“You want to get a tattoo?”
“Yeah.”
/> “What are you waiting for?”
“Nothin’. Just need to know the place to go to get it.”
“Houston’s far for you to go.”
“Not really. Not if you’re up for a road trip.” Beau had absolutely no idea where that proposition came from, but when Ethan’s appeared to be thinking it over, he decided to run with it. “What do you say we sneak out of here for a couple of days?” Before Ethan could argue, Beau held up his hand to stave off the comment. “I know, I know. We’ve got work to do here, but you have to admit, getting away for a couple of days does sound like a good idea.”
He knew he was pushing just a little, but Ethan appeared to be warming to the idea. Maybe getting away from this place would help him to let go of some of the tension that had been eating at him lately. Likely the reason for the nightmare, although Beau fully intended to find out more about that. Just not now.
“You want to go to Houston?” Ethan asked, sounding as though he needed Beau to confirm the idea was his.
He could certainly do that.
“Yeah.”
“All right then.” Ethan glanced around the room. “But I have to be back by Saturday.”
“That’s right, you’ve got a babysitting gig,” Beau joked.
“You’re damn right I do,” Ethan replied. “And I sure as hell won’t be missing it.”
Chapter Twenty Seven
♂♂
Ethan was ready to close up shop within fifteen minutes. He’d never done that before, never stopped working in the middle of the week, but he needed this. Beau’s plan to get away from it all, even briefly, was the only option at this point. Either that, or he was going to take out his misery on Beau, and even if they weren’t permanent or long term, he didn’t want to hurt him. Admittedly, he was developing feelings for Beau – strong ones – and the idea of hurting him didn’t sit well.
And worst case, at least he’d have these memories to fall back on later.
“I’m gonna head home and get some stuff. I’ll pick you up at your house in an hour. That work?” Beau asked as they stepped out of the shop before Ethan locked the door behind them.
Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) Page 23
