And maybe Beau had it all wrong, but he didn’t think so.
Unfortunately, Beau couldn’t change the past, didn’t have an option to fix what had been broken. But he was here now. He could love Ethan with all that he was and hope that was enough.
Did that mean he’d have to live his life hiding out with Ethan? Pretending that he didn’t love this man? If he left it up to Ethan, he was sure that would be the plan.
Beau wasn’t sure he could do that. He wasn’t built that way.
He’d spent his life in a house where love wasn’t shared freely, and generally it was only given when something had been proven. Since the moment his football career came to an abrupt halt, Beau wasn’t sure his father had even said the words. He sometimes wondered whether Ben even felt them. Beau loved his parents, but he didn’t look up to them the way he did Zane’s parents.
He wanted the type of love that could be shared freely and openly. Like Travis and Kylie and Gage had. The three of them had gone against the norm, but their families accepted them. And more importantly, they accepted each other. And Travis and Gage were the type of men who would stand up to the world and tell anyone who didn’t believe in what they had to fuck off. Beau wanted a man who would stand up for him, a man who wasn’t ashamed or scared of what they shared. Because Beau was that man. He would go the distance to ensure Ethan knew he was loved and to make sure no one harmed him.
Above all else, Beau would take care of Ethan. Emotionally, physically. It’s what he wanted. Hell, it was what he needed.
He didn’t think Ethan was ashamed of who he was, and he knew damn good and well that Ethan was strong enough to stand up for himself and those he loved. The question was whether he would be able to or not. Would the pain and fear from his past always cripple him to where he felt he had to hide?
“Are you awake?” Ethan asked, rolling over onto his back.
Beau shifted with him, refusing to let go. “Yeah, I’m awake.”
“Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
Beau wasn’t sure he could explain it. Knew he didn’t want to. Not if it meant risking what they were sharing at the moment.
“You,” he said truthfully. “I’m thinking about you.” Kissing Ethan’s hair, Beau gripped him tighter.
“Well, then we have something in common,” Ethan said quietly.
“Yeah? You’re thinking about you too?” Beau teased, hoping to pull himself out from under his pressing thoughts.
“Yes, as a matter of fact,” Ethan replied, rolling over to face Beau fully.
Beau chuckled and settled into the bed so that he could pull Ethan closer.
“Now tell me what you’re thinking about,” Ethan told him.
“How I don’t want this to end.” There. He said it. If that sent Ethan running, he’d just have to deal with it.
Silence descended, and Beau’s heart raced as he waited for Ethan to say something.
“I don’t want it to end either.”
Well, that’s definitely not what he expected him to say.
“What does that mean for us?” Beau asked, curious as to where they were headed from here.
“I’m quite content just like this,” Ethan said, his arm sliding over Beau’s stomach in light, gentle strokes.
“What does that mean when we get back home?” Beau knew he was pushing the conversation in a dangerous direction once again, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to know.
“Nothing is going to change for me, Beau.”
And that’s what Beau had been afraid of. Ethan wasn’t willing to change for anyone. He was obviously satisfied with the way his life was, and Beau wanted more than a discreet affair. He wanted the whole nine yards. Unconditional love. A family. All of it.
He was tired of wasting time. Love had evaded him because he had been too confused to know which way to look and now that he knew without a doubt just what true love felt like, he wanted it.
Permanently.
“I understand,” he whispered, not willing to destroy this moment.
For now he’d let this be enough. Tomorrow or the next day, or even the day after that, then Beau would worry about his next step. Should it have to be without Ethan, then he’d put one foot in front of the other the way he always had before. It would hurt, would tear his heart to shreds, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t experienced it before. He’d managed to let others push him away and he’d survived.
He was sure he could do it again.
He just didn’t want to.
Chapter Thirty One
♀♂
Lorrie waited patiently for Curtis to hang up the phone and join her in the living room. She knew what the call was about and hearing information on Ethan’s whereabouts had become essential to her sanity. Luckily, thanks to her discreet eavesdropping, she knew things were fine. She was grateful for that.
“He’s all right,” Curtis grumbled when he appeared beside the couch a few minutes later.
“Where is he?” she asked calmly, offering her husband her full attention.
“Houston. With Beau.”
“Who told you?”
“Zane. Beau left him a voicemail before they left yesterday. And I called Jared. He confirmed. Ethan stopped in to let him know as well.”
Lorrie released the breath she’d been holding. She had every right to be nervous when it came to Ethan. Although her son didn’t realize it, Lorrie and Curtis were both aware of what had happened to him all those years ago. They were blessed with boys who were concerned about one another, and although Sawyer had kept Ethan’s secret safe from the rest of his brothers, he’d had the common sense to call their father the night Ethan had been hurt.
Remembering the event risked stealing several years off of her life because at the time, Lorrie had worried about her son’s well-being and not just in the physical sense. Especially after the devastating loss of Gavin Reardon several weeks after Gavin’s older brother had beaten Ethan.
It’d taken everything in her power to hold Sawyer and Curtis back, threatening them both with the law if they even thought about going after Jimmy. Although she fully believed that disturbed young man deserved punishment, she did not believe it should come from her family. The possibility of losing one of her boys or her husband wasn’t something she ever wanted to consider; that included the possibility of one of them spending the rest of their life in prison.
And, that afternoon, as soon as they were unable to locate Ethan, she’d gone into a full blown panic. From the sound of it, the boys at least had the decency to make sure she and Curtis would know they were all right.
“When will they be back?” she asked Curtis, enjoying the sigh of relief knowing that Ethan and Beau were both ok. She couldn’t deny her excitement over the fact that they were together either. Those two young men were looking for something, and she had a sneaking suspicion that they had already found it, but if she had to guess, one or both of them was being stubborn.
Some alone time would do them some good.
“Friday or Saturday, Jared said. Ethan’s going to Kaleb and Zoey’s to watch Mason on Saturday night.”
“Good. Good.” Lorrie had seen the way Ethan’s eyes lit up when he was around Mason and she liked the idea of him spending time with his nephew.
Curtis moved across the room to the coat rack, and Lorrie watched carefully, weighing her next question. “Where are you going?”
“Moonshiners.”
She had a feeling he was going to say that. “Did the boys invite you?”
“Yeah,” Curtis said solemnly. “Travis called earlier. He’s worried about Sawyer.”
Lorrie stood from her seat and watched her husband as he shrugged on his well-worn Carhartt jacket before tucking his cell phone in the inside pocket.
“Please be careful,” she told him.
Curtis gave her that sexy grin that still made her insides tingle. She loved him with the same passion she’d had when they first met. Although her heart had grown
much more attached over the years and when she thought he might step in to defend their boys, she couldn’t help but worry.
“Is everything ok with Sawyer?” she asked, knowing the answer before he said it.
“He’s having a hard time with what’s going on with Ethan.”
Rightfully so. Sawyer had been the one to take care of Ethan, to nurse him back to health when the worst had happened. Although Ethan didn’t know it, Lorrie had checked in with Sawyer daily, making sure that her boy was being taken care of. Since then, she knew Sawyer had become extremely protective of Ethan.
“Call me when you’re on your way home,” she told Curtis, making her way across the room. Grabbing the edges of his jacket gently, she pulled him close and went up on her toes when he leaned in for a kiss.
“Will do.”
Lorrie released Curtis, watching as he walked out the back door. Despite her husband’s need to keep her sheltered from the trouble that seemed to be brewing when it came to her children, she knew something was going on. She might not have the specifics, but she fully intended to find out.
After all, what kind of mother would she be if she weren’t prepared to ensure her boys were safe? All of them.
♂♀
Curtis pulled into the parking lot of Moonshiners, his gut churning after the story he’d heard from Travis just a short while ago. Even though Travis insisted that he should stay home, Curtis wasn’t having any of it. He’d raised his boys right, taught them to stand up for themselves and those who needed standing up for, but Curtis believed whole-heartedly that not all lessons could be learned the easy way.
And apparently Jimmy Reardon needed a good hard lesson.
Not that Curtis was a violent man. Quite the opposite, but he believed in fighting for his own. And what had happened to Ethan at the hands of Jimmy had managed to go unpunished for far too long.
As he headed into the bar, Curtis located Travis’ truck, Kaleb’s truck, as well as Sawyer’s car. He didn’t see the others, so he assumed the twins and Zane had other plans for the night. That was just as well.
“Hey, Pa,” Sawyer greeted him when he stepped up to the bar, the overly loud country and western music making it difficult for him to hear. Curtis grinned. No, he was not getting old, he told himself. The music was just loud. That’s all.
“What’s up, boy?” he asked as he signaled for Mack to bring him a beer.
“Not a damn thing,” Sawyer said, glancing behind him as though he were looking for someone.
“Something’s up,” Curtis stated, not believing his son for a single minute. Sawyer was on edge, his shoulders tense, his muscles geared up for a fight. A quick perusal of the bar told Curtis who was there and exactly where they were located.
Travis and Gage were near the pool tables, watching a couple of guys play. Looks like they left Kylie at home tonight. Another thing to be grateful for. His boys weren’t stupid, that was for damned sure.
He nodded his head at Travis, acknowledging him before doing a three-sixty to see who else was in the place. “Charlie,” he called out to his buddy who was sitting in the far corner.
“Curtis, what brings your old ass down here?” Charlie hollered with a gruff chuckle.
“Same thing that brought yours down here,” he answered, lifting his beer up.
“Glad to see you.” Curtis heard the underlying meaning of Charlie’s comment, and that’s when Curtis noticed the four men who were sitting at a table near the door. Jimmy Reardon was one of them. Curtis would never forget that man’s face, would recognize him anywhere. After what he did to Ethan, he had studied his face, prayed that he never caught the man in a dark alley or that one of his boys didn’t either.
“Settle down, Pa,” Sawyer mumbled from beside him. Curtis glanced down and realized his hands were balled into fists at his side. Damn, he was pretty sure he hadn’t been this riled up for at least… well, since what happened to Zane. And now the horrifying nightmare of what happened to Ethan had risen to the surface once again.
“Woohoo! You’re up, Travis! Show that boy what you’ve got!” Some cowboy in the back of the bar was yelling along with the other hoots and hollers around the pool table.
Curtis sipped his beer and turned to look at his oldest son. The grin on Travis’ face made his heart swell. Curtis had wondered for far too long whether that boy would ever find true happiness. And now he had. In abundance, which was what he deserved.
“Fucking faggots.”
Curtis’ head snapped toward the front of the room where the foul language had erupted from at the same time Sawyer got to his feet. Instead of indulging the dimwitted little shits, Curtis grabbed Sawyer’s arm and pulled him up short before he could get far.
Sawyer stared down to where Curtis’ fingers were clamped around his ropy forearm and then back up to meet his eyes. “Not yet, son. Not yet.”
Some of the tension relaxed in Sawyer’s arm and Curtis let him go.
The noise in the back settled to a dull roar, but to Curtis’ relief, Travis hadn’t moved. Then again, Gage was keeping a keen eye on the situation. Ever the cop, that one was.
For the next half hour, things seemed relatively normal. No more hateful comments, the boys in the back continued to play pool and Curtis had taken a seat at the bar and was chatting with Sawyer about the resort. Just normal, everyday stuff. And if Curtis had even believed for one second that tensions weren’t high and a storm wasn’t brewing within the thin walls of the bar, he would’ve been kidding himself.
Curtis turned slowly when Jimmy Reardon and one of the others at his table stood. They didn’t head toward the door as Curtis had hoped. Instead, they were heading toward the tables in the back. As though synchronized, Curtis stood at the same time Sawyer did and they moved in behind them.
Just a precaution, nothing more.
Speaking of precaution… “Hey, Mack,” Curtis whispered as he passed the end of the bar where Mack was wiping down a glass.
“S’up?” Mack asked, his eyebrows hidden in his scraggly hair.
“Call the Sheriff, would ya?”
Sawyer’s head snapped in his direction, but Curtis didn’t say a word. It was high time they put an end to this bullshit once and for all. And since Curtis had no intention of any of his boys spending time in jail or the hospital, he was going to make sure he got it taken care of.
Chapter Thirty Two
♂♂
“I still can’t believe he cancelled. What are the odds?” Ethan asked Beau as they headed north. Back toward home.
“Think it’s a sign?” Beau asked with a chuckle.
“Hell no. You’re getting that tattoo.”
“Yeah?”
Before Ethan could respond to Beau’s comment, his cell phone rang. Grabbing it out of the cup holder, he barked a short greeting. “Walker.”
They were about half an hour outside of Austin, which meant they would hit Coyote Ridge in about forty five minutes. His phone had been blowing up with texts for the last twenty minutes or so but until now he’d done a good job of ignoring it.
“Where the fuck are you?” Zane growled.
“On the road,” Ethan said as calmly as he could muster. He wasn’t all that thrilled with being yelled at. “Why?”
“You need to get your ass home.”
“On the way. Again, why?” Ethan glanced over at Beau briefly.
“It’s Dad.”
Ethan sat up straight in his seat, the phone pressed painfully against his ear, every muscle in his body tensed. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, unless you consider the fact that Mom’s probably gonna kick his ass, nothing serious.”
“What the fuck! You scared the shit out of me, fucker. What’s going on with Dad?”
“You know how he’s like almost seventy?”
Ethan was getting frustrated with Zane. And his storytelling abilities weren’t rating all that high with him at the moment either. Knowing that talking wasn’t going to rush the situation any,
Ethan kept his mouth shut.
“Well, Trav had to bail his ass out of jail this morning.”
“What?” Ethan nearly dropped his phone.
“What’s wrong?” Beau asked, reaching over to touch Ethan’s arm.
“Hell if I know,” Ethan told him as he hit the speaker button so Beau could possibly help him translate. “You’re on speaker. Beau’s here.”
“Yo, Beau! What’s up, man? Did you get that tat?”
“What the hell is going on?” Beau asked, completely ignoring Zane’s attempt at casual conversation.
“Well, Dad’s in jail. Or rather he was in jail. He’s out now. Sheriff Endsley’s at the house talking to him. Mom’s not too happy with him.”
“What did he do?” Ethan asked, speaking slowly in an attempt to rein Zane in.
“According to him, he snapped.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” Ethan asked Zane and glanced at Beau. “You’re gonna have to make this beast go faster.”
Beau nodded, and the engine roared as he accelerated.
“Zane, I need you to be serious here for a minute, bro,” Beau said calmly. “We’re about half an hour out, but we need to know what’s going on.”
“Well, that freak show Jimmy, yeah, well, he’s gonna have a headache this morning. Might even need some makeup to cover up the shiner he’s sporting.”
Ethan stilled instantly. Jimmy? As in Jimmy Reardon.
Keeping calm, Ethan said the following words very slowly. “What did Dad do?”
“I’ll have to let him tell you that part. I wasn’t there. But, I’m on my way to their house now to see him. Sawyer is fit to be tied, so I just wanted to give you a warning. Head on over there when you get back. I’ll let them know you’re on the way.”
Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) Page 27
