Ethan nodded, realizing Zane couldn’t see him after it was too late and Zane had disconnected the call.
“You wanna call Sawyer?” Beau asked, his eyes focused on the road.
“Nah. We’ll hear about it soon enough.”
Twenty minutes later, Beau was pulling into the driveway of Ethan’s parents’ house. Neither of them wasted time getting out and heading inside. It wasn’t hard to find where the commotion was coming from because there were at least seven or eight towering males standing in the middle of the living room in what appeared to be a screaming match. Ethan couldn’t tell who was winning.
Beau let out a piercing whistle, and the ruckus died instantly, all heads turning to look at them. Great. Way to call attention to us.
Ethan took a moment to do a mental roll call, noticing that there weren’t any women present.
Good to know.
“What the hell is going on here?” Ethan barked, glancing from one man to another. His brothers were surrounding their father, but Gage had the good sense to stand off to the side of the room, a mischievous smirk on his lips.
At least this wasn’t a critical issue. If it had been, Ethan doubted Gage would be grinning like that.
“Not a damn thing. Your brothers need to learn to mind their own damn business,” Curtis bellowed, sinking into his chair.
“You are our damn business,” Travis argued. “And I’m not all that thrilled about having to come get your ass outta jail last night.”
“I warned you,” Curtis argued.
“True. I did get a warning call.”
Ethan turned his head to see Sheriff Endsley sitting on the couch right in the middle of the mayhem. He wasn’t in uniform, which Ethan considered a good sign. It wasn’t that the sheriff and his father were close friends, but they had started to chat more, ever since the incident with Zane.
“I told Mack to call him, did I not?” Curtis asked no one in particular.
Ethan lowered himself onto the arm of the couch, and Beau came to stand behind him. For some reason, having Beau there with him was comforting, not disturbing. He figured at this point, his family knew where he’d been so explaining himself wasn’t necessary. Not that he would tell them if they asked.
“What happened?” Jared asked, sitting on the edge of the fireplace, his hands hanging between his knees.
“Dad whooped up on Jimmy Reardon,” Zane offered and earned a round of shut the fuck ups from the rest of them.
“That’s not what happened,” Gage clarified, his eyes darting over to the sheriff.
“No, it’s not. Jimmy showed up at Moonshiners with his brass balls last night,” Sawyer growled. “The bastard thought he could start running off at the mouth, and Pa intervened. Unfortunately for Jimmy, Pa doesn’t do well with threats.”
Ethan watched the sheriff, wondering why his father had ended up in jail if that was the case.
“So why did Trav have to bail him out of jail?” Zane asked, sounding just as confused as Ethan felt.
“He didn’t,” Sheriff Endsley stated.
“We never said he bailed him out, you dipshit,” Sawyer groaned. “We said he had to go pick him up.”
“Same difference.”
“I wasn’t arrested, boys.” Curtis leaned forward in his chair and glanced around the room. “Regardless, I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t use my behavior last night as a guide to how to handle a situation like that.”
“You hit him?” Jared asked, a smug smile on his face. If Ethan had to guess, his cousin was impressed.
“Jimmy threw the first punch,” Travis intervened quickly. “Who knew Dad could move that fast?”
Ethan felt his father’s eyes on him, and he couldn’t look away.
Curtis sighed before explaining further. “Your mother and I have taught you not to judge people. You don’t look down on someone else, and by God, you don’t have the right to decide what is right or wrong for anyone else. That’s where Jimmy went wrong. His actions have hurt a lot of people. He should’ve been punished long ago and maybe he’d have had some time to sit and think about how his actions affected others.”
What was his father talking about? There was no way he knew what had happened. Could he? Ethan glanced over at Sawyer, anger and betrayal boiling deep in his gut. How could he tell their parents? No one was supposed to know.
“You sound as though you’re talking about something specific,” Brendon stated.
Ethan didn’t look at Brendon. He didn’t look at anyone but his father. Please don’t say it has anything to do with me.
“Bren, it’s not my story to tell,” Curtis said. “If and when the time comes then I promise you’ll understand.”
Ethan felt the heat of Beau’s body behind him, and he was the only reason Ethan didn’t make a run for it. That and he’d have to walk to his house because they’d arrived in Beau’s truck. It wasn’t because he was comforted by Beau’s presence, although there was that. But because he knew he wouldn’t get far. Beau would come after him and then he’d be forced to face the fact that he’d put his family in this situation.
It didn’t seem to matter that he had tried to protect them all these years. He had still failed.
♂♂
Beau was confident that his confusion was written plainly across his face. Based on what he’d learned from Ethan, Curtis shouldn’t know what went down with Jimmy Reardon. Of the men standing in the living room, only Sawyer would’ve been privy to that information.
For clarification, he wanted to ask Curtis for the whole story, but he knew this wasn’t the time or place. And he didn’t really think it would make much of a difference anyway, but he could sense Ethan’s emotions. He could see the way his shoulders deflated and knew he was taking on the responsibility for everything that had happened although he couldn’t have possibly been to blame.
Then again, humans were often strange like that. Taking on blame even when things were out of their control.
As the group disbanded, Beau stayed behind, waiting for Ethan. When he realized Curtis was trying to get Ethan’s attention, Beau snagged Ethan’s arm and then motioned toward the eldest Walker before attempting to sneak out the back door to wait outside.
“Beau, wait.” Curtis’ booming voice thundered through the house, and Beau came up short, much as he had when he’d been a kid and he and Zane had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been doing.
“Yes, sir?”
“I want to talk to you and Ethan. When everyone leaves.” Curtis’ voice was low, as though he didn’t want the others to hear.
Shit. This couldn’t be good.
“I really need to get home,” Ethan said sullenly, his eyes never making direct contact with his father’s.
“Tough shit, boy,” Curtis replied in his usual growling baritone and then followed Jared and Sheriff Endsley to the back door.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Ethan groaned, his hand balling into a fist at his side. “I’m not fucking ten years old. I don’t need my father talking to me. It’s not his fucking place.”
Beau placed a hand on Ethan’s arm and wrapped his fingers tightly around his strong bicep, not letting lose when Ethan tried to pull away.
“You don’t know what he is going to say. Give him a chance.”
Ethan glared at him and Beau knew he was overstepping, but he didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t like they could just walk out. Curtis would just demand they come back and then they’d feel more like children than they did already.
“Sit, boy,” Curtis said to Ethan, motioning to the couch in the living room as he moved around to his recliner.
Beau was uncomfortable, desperately wanting out of this but the look Curtis shot his way said he needed to be there, so Beau followed Ethan around the couch and dropped to one end while Ethan occupied the opposite.
Curtis addressed Ethan directly, and Beau wished like hell the couch would just swallow him whole. He knew Ethan would hold it against him if he witne
ssed any sort of reprimand from his father – especially if the past was involved.
Then again, if Curtis was about to lay into Ethan, then he wasn’t sure he could sit by and not say something.
“I’m not gonna get in your business,” Curtis began. “I’m not here to ask questions or even suggest that you talk to me, but I am going to inform you that should you need me, I’m here.”
Beau noticed when Ethan’s body tensed, his hands fisting in his lap. Did he want to talk to his father? It wasn’t a bad idea. He wasn’t sure whether Ethan felt any relief whatsoever after sharing his story about what happened because they hadn’t spoken another word about it. The last couple of days had been strangely comfortable, almost soothing. They’d spent alone time together, much of it being naked and Beau was under the impression Ethan had wanted to bury his pain, and Beau would offer himself to Ethan for that purpose as long as Ethan wasn’t hiding from him.
Would this change everything? Would all of their progress be reduced to a couple of days of mere memories? Beau couldn’t handle that any more than he could handle hiding what he felt for Ethan.
“Why’d you do it?” Ethan asked, shocking Beau with his question.
God, he didn’t need to be here for this.
“Do what?” Curtis asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing one ankle over the opposite knee.
“Jimmy. Why’d you let him antagonize you?”
“I didn’t let that bastard do anything, Ethan,” Curtis answered roughly. “Let me let you in on a little secret. I’m just as human as you are. Things get to me. I let Jimmy get to me long before he did what he did last night.”
Beau watched the exchange between father and son, reading between the lines. Even if Curtis didn’t admit it, he knew what happened to Ethan – what Jimmy had done. How could he not? He was Ethan’s father. Coyote Ridge was a small town and surely Curtis and Lorrie would’ve been worried about one of their kids if they disappeared off the grid for longer than a day. Ethan had to know that, right?
“Thanks.”
Beau’s head snapped in Ethan’s direction. Had he just thanked his father for beating on Jimmy Reardon? Of course, thanks were probably in order because the man wasn’t going to stop until he realized exactly what his actions had caused. Not that this would slow him down any.
Curtis nodded his head, effectively ending the conversation in that subtle way he did that left anyone who knew him wanting to open up and tell him their deepest, darkest secrets. Curtis never pushed, never questioned, never made you feel weak. But he damn sure made sure you knew he was there if you needed him.
Beau envied Ethan in that regard. Curtis was exactly the opposite of his own father. He just hoped Ethan didn’t take that for granted because from what he’d learned in his life, that relationship between father and son was rare.
Chapter Thirty Three
♂♂
Ethan could only assume Beau understood his need to be alone because he didn’t even have to request it when he found himself being dropped off at his house a short while ago. Beau had kissed him briefly in the truck, waited until he made it in the house and then disappeared down the driveway.
And Ethan had waited all of three minutes before he snatched up his truck keys and headed to Sawyer’s. Noticing the car in the driveway, Ethan had parked haphazardly behind it and now was standing on his brother’s front porch, waiting for him to answer the door.
It didn’t take long.
As soon as the door opened wide, Ethan stormed in, shoving Sawyer hard enough to send him back a couple of steps.
“What the fuck!” Sawyer growled, the fury on his face mirroring what had been boiling in Ethan’s stomach for the last half hour. Ever since he realized that Sawyer had ratted him out to his parents all those years ago.
“How fucking could you?” Ethan yelled, the hurt and anger morphing into an overwhelming concoction that wasn’t looking good for his brother.
“How could I what?” Sawyer hollered, slamming the front door when Ethan cleared it.
“You told them!”
Sawyer stood stone still near the door, staring at Ethan with what looked like remorse in his eyes.
“I had no choice,” he said after a few tense moments. “You could’ve died.”
“You promised. No one was supposed to know.”
“Ethan,” Sawyer started then stopped, thrusting his hands through his perfectly styled hair before turning and stalking off.
“What?”
Sawyer made it all the way to the kitchen before he stopped and turned back to face him. Ethan waited impatiently for his brother to continue.
“Do you even remember how bad you were hurt? Greyson wanted you to go to the hospital. Since you refused, I had to settle for trying to stop your fucking head from bleeding. You had a concussion, remember? I wasn’t allowed to let you go to sleep for hours. On top of that, your fucking nose was broken, and your face was so swollen you couldn’t open your eyes. That doesn’t include the damage done to your ribs. I never would’ve been able to forgive myself if something happened to you.”
Ethan listened, his brother’s recollection driving all of the memories forward. The pain had been excruciating. Even to this day, there were remnants of the agony in his bones. He wasn’t sure he would ever fully heal from it.
“So you told Mom and Dad?”
“That night, I called Dad. Not only was I enraged, I was fucking scared.”
To hear Sawyer say that was the equivalent of stomping all over Ethan’s heart. Never in his life had he heard Sawyer say that he was scared of anything. Yet he had put Sawyer in a position that no one should’ve had to be in. And though it pissed him off that he felt betrayed, Ethan suddenly felt ashamed of himself.
Turning and walking away, it was Ethan’s turn to shove his hands through his hair.
Why did everything seem to be changing? Fuck.
Ethan leaned over, gripping his hair tightly in his fists as he fought the emotional overload that swamped him. He was in pain. Physical. Emotional. No matter how he looked at it, Ethan’s world was changing, what he thought he never wanted before, he now knew he did. His fears were still choking him, pulling him up short, but he felt himself moving closer and closer to the light. And it scared the fuck out of him. He wouldn’t survive the pain again.
Sawyer’s hand came down on his back in a reassuring manner, but his brother didn’t say a word. He just stood there while Ethan did his damnedest not to fall apart. When he managed to catch his breath, he stood tall and turned to face Sawyer.
Sucking in a breath, he fully intended to thank his brother for saving his life, but that’s not what came out of his mouth.
“I hate him!” Ethan roared, nearly at the top of his lungs. “I fucking hate him. He stole so much from me. He ruined my life. He ruined Gavin’s life.”
And just like that, Sawyer grabbed Ethan and pulled him close, his arms closing around him in a tight hold that had Ethan’s world nearly crashing in on him. He didn’t want to cry. He hadn’t cried since the day he found Gavin. He swore he would never get to that point again. He pushed everything away, fought the urge to care for anyone and yet, look at him. He was a fucking mess.
Pulling away from Sawyer, he ran a hand over his face roughly. “I’m sorry I put you in that position.”
“You didn’t put me in any position,” Sawyer argued, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “E, I’m fucking thankful every single day that you called me. I don’t know why you chose me, but I thank God that I was able to get to you. That’s all that matters.”
“I should’ve been stronger, should’ve been able to fight Jimmy off. Should’ve been able to save Gavin.” The last statement came out without his permission and Ethan abruptly turned, heading for the door.
He had to get out of there. Needed air. Needed… fucking hell. He needed Beau. He just wanted to fall into Beau’s arms and be held for the rest of his natural life. It was the only time he felt safe, protecte
d.
“Ethan,” Sawyer said gruffly, making him stop midstride.
He didn’t turn to face his brother. He couldn’t.
“No one could’ve saved Gavin. What he went through was probably hell on earth. If his brother was even half as brutal with him as he had been with you, Gavin had been looking for an escape. Unfortunately, the path he chose was beyond your control.”
Turning abruptly, he threw his arms up in the air in a signal of defeat. “How? How could he do that? He took his own life! And he took mine right along with him.”
Ethan couldn’t believe the words were coming out of his mouth. He’d kept it inside for all these years, and suddenly he was smothering his brother with all kinds of questions that he knew he couldn’t possibly answer.
“I don’t know, E. I wish I could make it all better for you, but that isn’t an option. I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to talk to someone. You need to reach out to someone who can help you get the answers that you need. But I’m not talking about me, or Mom and Dad, or even Beau. A professional, E.”
Was Sawyer actually saying he needed professional help? Ethan wanted to be exasperated, but his heart actually began to settle. Was there seriously someone who understood what he was going through?
Sawyer moved closer. “Look at me, E.”
Ethan met Sawyer’s intent gaze.
“Nothing will bring Gavin back. Nothing. Hold up,” Sawyer said when Ethan lifted his hand, preparing for a response. “Listen to me.”
Ethan nodded. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice.
“We can’t bring Gavin back, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do something. Jimmy has gone unpunished all these years. If he did that to you, I hate to think what else he might’ve done. I won’t be the one to punish him, although God knows I want to. But that doesn’t mean I will sit quietly and watch. Mom and Dad taught us to stand up for what we believe in. It’s time we stand up, E.”
Ethan’s back straightened.
“Karma is a vindictive bitch. Jimmy will get his. And I assure you, it won’t be from me. One day, he’ll meet his match, and he won’t win. Until that day comes, we have to stand up for what is right, protect those who need it and hiding who you are isn’t going to help.”
Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) Page 28
