KINGDOM FALL

by A. Zavarelli

  I’m accountable for her current state. I accept full responsibility for it, and I have no desire to traumatize her further, but time isn’t favorable toward a gentle recovery. I need her alert and involved in the decision before I deliver it tomorrow.

  Setting the sandwich aside, I see no other alternative. I bend down and scoop her into my arms. Her head lolls against my chest, and she does not make a sound as I carry her from the room and down the stairs. She feels too light, and it bothers me. I should have come to see her sooner. I should have forced her to eat if that’s what it took, but I can’t go back and change it now.

  I open the door to the pool room and carry her over to the cold plunge. She still won’t look at me. Her eyes are unfocused, staring off into the distance as I walk down the stairs into the ice-cold water. When I lower myself and cover her body, it has the intended effect of shocking her back to life, but not in the way that I had hoped.

  Her eyes are empty when they move to mine, and her voice is barely a whisper when she forces herself to speak.

  “Kill me fast.”

  She closes her eyes, and I adjust my grip on her, freeing one hand to stroke her face.

  “Natalia.”

  She shakes her head, refusing to look at me.

  “I’m not going to kill you.”

  Her teeth begin to chatter, but she opens her eyes, staring up at me with a fragility that makes my chest ache. I need to explain further, but first, I need to get her warm. I lift her into my arms again, cradling her against me as I exit the cold plunge and head for the shower. It takes me a minute to get it warm, and then I set her on her feet, leaving her in her soaked clothes as we stand beneath the spray together.

  “You’re not giving up now.” I let the words settle between us as she hugs her arms to her chest.

  She gives me a gentle nod.

  “I was wrong.” My voice betrays the depth of my regret. “I know it now, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that happened to you. I’m sorry for what Enzo did, and I’m sorry that I made it worse.”

  I’m not good at apologies, but Natalia surprises me when she reaches out and takes my hand in hers. When I look at her, her eyes are soft, and I wish they weren’t. I wish she could hate me like she should.

  “You’re Nino’s mother,” I tell her. “And he needs you in his life.”

  She trembles with relief, and I can see the burden she’s carried for so long dissolving. If only she knew what it was about to cost her.

  “It isn’t as simple as letting you go, Natalia. I can’t allow you to leave with him. If you try again, I won’t be able to protect you from the consequences. As far as The Society is concerned, I’m his father, and he is a Sovereign Son.”

  Her fingers tighten around mine, and I force the rest of the words out as quickly as I can.

  “There’s another option. It’s not ideal, but it’s the only way to keep you alive.”

  She stares at me intently, holding her breath, and I suspect she already knows. Perhaps she can feel the terror radiating from me.

  “You can marry me,” I say somberly.

  I don’t know what sort of response I’m expecting from her exactly, but she gives me none. Before she can get any ideas about what it will be like, I decide it’s best to lay it out for her, so there are no questions.

  “It will be a marriage in name only. We will live together and raise Nino. You’ll have my protection and your freedom, within reason.”

  She exhales a shaky breath, and I release her hand before she can express her thoughts.

  “You have twenty hours to decide. For now, I’d like you to eat something and visit your son. He’s missed you.”

  As the deadline looms, I leave Natalia to spend time with Nino, periodically checking in on them through the surveillance system. He doesn’t know that she’s his mother yet, but someday he will. I think that’s more than enough to entice her into the shitty proposition of marriage I made, but I can’t help feeling sorry for it, and I also can’t help resenting her for it either.

  I didn’t want this. I never wanted to marry. Now, my hand is being forced. Giving her the option to marry someone else in The Society wasn’t going to happen, not even over my dead body.

  There’s a part of me that suspects she still might turn me down, even at the risk of death. If I were her, I probably would. I have little to offer her in the way of marital bliss. I can provide for her, I can protect her, but I can never give her the things she’ll probably want.

  Love. Loyalty. Trust.

  Those things are off the table. They have to be. It’s the only way to make this work. If she has no expectations of me, then she can never be disappointed.

  When the hour finally approaches, I don’t have to seek her out. She comes to me in my office, phone in hand, and plays the message she’s already written.

  I’ve been thinking about what you said, and there’s something I’d like to address first. I know Nino is a part of your world, and the connection to The Society is nonnegotiable, but I need your assurances that he won’t be a prisoner to it. I need to know that he will be free to make his own choices about his career path when the time comes. Who he marries. How many children he wants. I want him to make these decisions on his own even if they do not align with their standards. His happiness is the most important thing to me. I need your word he’ll have it.

  I consider my answer carefully. Natalia doesn’t understand how The Society works. From her perspective, I can see how it might seem like a prison. Some of the practices are archaic, I can admit, but as a Sovereign Son, Nino will have more opportunities than most could ever dream of. In time, I believe she will come to see those advantages.

  “He will always be free to make his own decisions,” I promise her. “As long as I have breath in my lungs, I will ensure that. The Society has expectations for members, but there are always choices. I want the same things for him that you do. I want him to be happy.”

  Her posture relaxes, and she takes a seat across from me, writing a new note.

  There’s one other thing I need to know.

  “Okay.” I shift uncomfortably, wondering if she’s going to mention feelings.

  I need to know if Enzo is dead.

  “Yes.” My response is immediate.

  It isn’t something I even have to think about, because I already knew she would ask. She won’t feel safe with me, or in The Society, if she knows he’s still alive. The lie is for her sake, but soon enough, it will be the truth. I had decided upon it before I even left the Tribunal. Enzo will pay for the crimes he’s committed, and it will be by my hand. First, I need to build my case against him, so they will grant my request.

  In the meantime, I’m relying on Nino not to mention him, which shouldn’t be a problem since he never does. I’ve already begun to gather evidence against Enzo. The stronger my argument is, the quicker I can end him.

  Natalia seems to be lost in her own thoughts for a moment. I can’t tell if she’s disappointed or relieved by my answer. But eventually, she moves on with the conversation.

  The name I gave my son was Camilo, but he doesn’t know that. It wouldn’t be fair to ask him to change it now. He is Nino to me and everyone else that matters, but I can’t live with him carrying the name of that monster. I want his last name changed to Scarcello.

  Her request relieves me more than she could ever imagine. I had already planned on it, but it gives me a strange sense of pride to know that she wants her son to have my last name too.

  “It will be done,” I tell her.

  Thank you, she writes. Can I ask you something else?

  “I’m listening.”

  Why did you save me? From the lake?

  Her question catches me off guard and makes me uncomfortable. I’m not certain how much of it she remembers, or even how much of it she may have heard. My pleading. My bargaining. My desperation. I don’t have an answer for her that won’t betray me.

  I drag my fingertip along t
he edge of my desk, using that as a distraction. “You’re Nino’s mother. It was the right thing to do.”

  She offers me a sad smile and doesn’t call me on the lie.

  Okay, Alessio. In answer to your proposition, I will marry you.

  25

  Natalia

  “Hello there. You must be Natalia?”

  I offer a nervous smile to the beautiful raven-haired woman as she strides toward me. She’s elegant in a red dress and heels, and I’m relieved to see she looks to be around my age. Her stunning green eyes move over me with a warmth I wasn’t expecting, and her smile disarms me almost immediately.

  “I’m Abella Moretti,” she introduces herself. “It’s so lovely to meet you.”

  I’m already reaching for my phone when she surprises me by signing with a fluidity that only comes to someone well versed in ASL.

  No need for that. Alessio informed me that you speak ASL, and so do I. My mother was deaf, so our family is fluent.

  I relax as I communicate a response to her.

  Thank you. I had no idea. It’s lovely to meet you as well.

  She glances at Manuel. “I take it you’ll be joining us today?”

  “Yes,” he grunts. “Mr. Scarcello’s orders.”

  Abella looks at me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. Don’t worry. You get used to it.

  I notice she has a tag along too, her own version of a Manuel. He’s big, bulky, and stone-faced as he scans the shopping center, seeking out potential threats.

  Shall we get started then? Abella asks. We have a busy day ahead of us.

  Yes, I think we should. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to meet with me.

  It’s not a problem. She walks, and I fall into step beside her. Shopping is one of my favorite sports.

  I’m glad for it, because it’s been years since I’ve been shopping for myself. When Alessio informed me I’d need a new wardrobe for Society functions, as well as a wedding dress, I seriously thought I might throw up. I didn’t even know where to begin. He arranged this meeting with Abella, explaining that she’d be like a mentor for me. She’s been raised in IVI, and it’s obvious she knows how everything works. I already love her sense of style, and I just hope she can give me the sort of help I desperately need.

  Abella leads the way through the shopping center while Manuel and her guard follow behind. It does feel strange having them with us while I’m shopping for clothes, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to relax. Abella gives me a sideways glance.

  Don’t worry. They’ll be busy watching everyone else around us. Just pretend they aren’t even here.

  I nod, though I think it will take a while for that to happen.

  She leads me to the door of an upscale Boutique, pausing to knock on the glass. At first glance, it appears to be closed, but a moment later, a woman appears, greeting us with a respectful nod.

  “Miss Moretti, always a pleasure to see you, and it’s lovely to meet you, Miss Cabrera.”

  I smile politely, and Abella gestures me in with her.

  “Thank you, Katherine.”

  “Can I get you a glass of champagne before we begin?” Katherine asks.

  I fold my hands together in front of me as I consider it. Since the boat incident, I’ve had my period, so I know I’m not pregnant, but I’m not sure if alcohol is the best thing to settle my nerves. Although I figure it couldn’t really hurt either. I sign my answer to Abella and then distract myself by taking in the space, decorated in clean shades of black and white and a touch of mood lighting. It looks expensive, and I’m tempted to check one of the labels before we even get started.

  Abella chats with Katherine for a moment before she disappears into the back to retrieve our champagne.

  I wander over to one of the displays, noting the price on the first dress I examine is four thousand dollars. It makes me dizzy and nauseous, but Abella is quick to shut it down.

  Don’t think about the prices. I’ve ordered a special selection of clothes for you to try on and they all come from Society owned boutiques, which means we get a discount. Regardless, the price doesn’t matter. Alessio gave me explicit instructions not to include tags, so there won’t be any on your items. I want you to choose what you feel comfortable in.

  But he’ll still be paying for them, I protest. I’m not sure I’ll be able to pick anything if I don’t know the prices.

  She smiles at me. Please don’t feel guilty. You may not realize this yet, but you could buy every item in this store ten times over, and it wouldn’t even begin to put a dent in Alessio’s bank account. He wants you to have nice things. This is one of the perks of being a Society woman, so you may as well enjoy it.

  Katherine arrives with our champagne before I can respond, and I drink mine quickly, wondering how much exactly Alessio earns when he’s torturing or killing someone for The Society.

  Good girl, Abella praises me when I finish my glass. “Katherine, I think we’ll need another.”

  Katherine brings us the entire bottle on ice, and we begin. Abella and I take a seat on the lush velvet loungers and watch as Katherine and her assistant wheel out rack after rack of clothing. There seems to be one for every occasion. I’m overwhelmed and already slightly tipsy when Abella rises and starts pulling items off the first one.

  They are conservative outfits, much like what I’m wearing now, only more expensive and a lot nicer. I’m not entirely sure if it’s the champagne, but all I can do is stare at them with a blank expression.

  Are you okay? Abella looks me over with concern. Do you not like the selection? We have a lot more options to choose from.

  The selection is beautiful. I grimace at my rudeness. I’m sorry. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I know you must have spent hours putting this together. It’s just that… I smooth my hands over the shapeless skirt I’ve worn like a shield, trying to find the right words. I don’t know Abella all that well, but I do feel at ease with her.

  What is it? She sits down beside me, her eyes kind as she encourages me. I promise you won’t hurt my feelings.

  I don’t wear these clothes because I’m comfortable in them, I confess. I wear them because I’ve spent years hiding who I am. Trying to go unnoticed. And now, I’m not sure I want to do that anymore. I want to feel pretty. Like you.

  Abella’s lips curve into a dazzling smile. Darling, you aren’t just pretty. You’re fucking gorgeous. And can I just say thank God you told me. She laughs, her eyes twinkling. I’ll admit I thought it was a crime to cover you in these fabrics. But if you are ready to let the world see you, I will light the path for you.

  My chest squeezes, my emotions overwhelming me. It’s been so long since I let myself have a friend. I’d forgotten what it was like, but I think Abella and I could be good friends. I think I kind of love her already.

  “Katherine,” she calls out. “Could you please do us a favor and take these away? We’re going to consider some other options. We’d like a selection fit for a Society wife. All your best fabrics. And red. Lots of red. A few little black dresses, some jeans, we need the whole works.”

  “Of course.” Katherine steps into action, removing the racks and returning minutes later with new ones. Abella and I have already had another glass of champagne in that time, and I think my nerves are finally settling.

  “Come on.” She ushers me from my seat. “You’re going to love this. I promise.”

  Two hours later, I think I’ve officially tried on more clothes than I have in my entire life. After the first piece took fifteen minutes to coax me out of the dressing room, Abella came and sat with me once she realized what the problem was.

  Hold your head high, she told me. You can’t hide your scars forever, nor should you want to. If you hide them, it means he wins.

  I don’t even know how she knew it was a him that caused them, but I suspect it’s intuition. Abella is probably one of the most perceptive souls I’ve ever met. She gets me, and I don’t know how. But every time I was
uncertain about something, she would talk it through with me. She discovered pieces that I would never have looked twice at, and now I think they might be my favorites. We’ve acquired an entirely new wardrobe, including casual wear, evening gowns, winter apparel, heels, sandals, and everything in between. When they brought out the lingerie selection, I studied the beautiful silk and lace with a sadness I couldn’t shake. I told Abella I wasn’t sure I’d even need them, and her eyes crinkled as she told me I definitely would.

  I want to agree, but Alessio has made it known that this marriage won’t be one of love. Regardless of what I see in his eyes when he looks at me, he can’t bring himself to admit that he has real feelings. Something is holding him back, and I suspect it’s partially due to the fact he’s still grieving the loss of Gwen. But I think a larger part of it has to do with what happened to his own family. He hasn’t dealt with his pain. He just created protective mechanisms to keep it from happening again. The walls he’s built are so thick, nobody can ever hurt him, but it means he won’t let anyone love him either.

  He hasn’t returned to my room in the two weeks since we agreed to marry, and we’ve barely spoken other than to discuss Nino and the upcoming wedding preparations. It’s not really a wedding, but more of an elopement. We leave tomorrow, and I’m not entirely certain what I’m getting into, but he’s given me a cliff notes version. Abella has been filling me in on the rest of the details throughout our morning, explaining how The Society works, the type of functions we’ll probably attend, and what my life will be like as Alessio’s wife.

  It still seems surreal to think about it. I’m going to be his wife.

  Maybe it’s foolish and naïve, but the thought warms me. It makes me feel safe and slightly drunk. It also makes me feel slightly stupid, because I’m marrying a man who might never be able to admit he cares about me. I’m becoming a part of his world, a world I had only ever dreamed about destroying. Now, I’ll be one of them, following their rules, and rubbing elbows with the dangerous elite. There’s still a part of me that thinks I shouldn’t be okay with it. This isn’t a fairy tale. It’s a hostage situation. I’ll be negotiating with them for the rest of my life.