Ex Supervillain

by Shouse, Brenden

  “Can you carry everyone?”

  His eyes were still glazed, “How?”

  “With your enhancement.”

  “Oh,” Alexander blinked, “Yeah, I can do that.”

  “Pick them up and follow me.” I turned on my heel and strode towards the pileup on the freeway. Our car was totaled; someone else’s would have to do. I checked over my shoulder and saw Brittany raised off of the ground. I blinked against the moisture in my eyes as I turned back and sprinted towards the cars. A minivan would be large enough. I picked one that read, “Proud soccer mom,” on the back of it, and kicked the guy driving it out. I pushed a button, and the side doors and trunk lid opened.

  “Messa like.”

  “No one quotes the prequels,” Jonathan said.

  “Call me no one, then.”

  I pulled Brittany off of the kinetic pedestal she rested on and set her down in the trunk. I put Alice in the protected seat, the one most likely to survive a horrific accident. Then I placed the rest of them in the minivan and motioned to Alexander. I wanted him to help me, but I doubted that he was in the right frame of mind.

  I floored the vehicle, and we rumbled forward. I stayed as far away from the wreck as I could and rode the rumble strip on the far side from the wreckage of our car. I went through one of the U-turn spots and continued down the highway. Patrol cars rushed by without slowing down. Everyone was quiet for a while, everyone still seemed to be in denial of what had just happened.

  “Sir?” Brutus asked, finally breaking the silence.

  “Yes?”

  “You do realize this car is hot pink, right?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “Did you think that would make us blend in or stick out like a sore thumb?”

  I smiled, “I thought that they would assume that no criminal with half a brain would steal such an obnoxious vehicle.”

  Brutus nodded, “Maybe, they’ll notice it when they re-watch the footage.”

  I shook my head, “No, they won’t. They were using hellhounds. Those suckers are illegal.”

  Brutus rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, “Then their bosses will see the footage.”

  I shrugged, “By then, we’ll be long gone.”

  “We’ll get him.”

  Anthony’s eyes were cold slits, “I know, he’s mine.” I bit my tongue and nodded. Elias wasn’t his, he was mine, and I was going to make sure I got there first. I flicked on the radio and found the station that played calm instrumentals and played it, softy. The danger was over, and now, as usual, my brain went into overdrive.

  I wanted to punch something, a lot of somethings. I entertained the anger for a few minutes and forced it down. Almost all of us made it out, that was a plus and also surprising. Whoever was coming after us had gone to a lot of effort, two hellhounds. I didn’t know what those things were running these days, but they weren’t cheap. Regardless of who it was, they were tied to the group that had attacked the limo. They were responsible for what happened to Brittany. I grit my teeth. I didn’t know who those people are, but I’m going to crucify them along with Elias.

  Alexander had frozen. He stared out into the open road in front of us. Tears rolled down his face as he wept silently. My heart ached. Alice was the one who knew how to comfort people. I was just the big dummy who could punch people in the face in a lot of fresh and exciting ways. I reached over and laid my hand on his shoulder. He sobbed audibly. I set the GPS for yet another one of Alice’s hideaways and sat back and focused on the road.

  15

  Chapter 15

  Prudence had a hard day. Most of us had at least minor injuries. We were just grateful to be alive after what happened to Brittany. Prudence pretended that she wasn’t tired and rubbed her eyes with her arm when she thought no one was looking. I sat outside on the couch of yet another cheap and well-outfitted apartment in the inner city.

  Alexander walked out of the room and headed for the door. He fumbled with the knob before turning it and shuffling out. I felt a kick in my chest. I of all people should know what to say to him, but I had nothing. Nothing anyone had said to me when Margaret died had made even the slightest difference. Usually, their comments made me want to punch someone. Prudence totted out and grabbed a drink. She tried to smile at me, but her step had no bounce in it, and there were dark circles under her eyes.

  “I’m not tired,” Prudence said, crossing her arms.

  “I didn’t say you were.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me. I responded in kind while one-upping her by putting my thumbs in my ear and wiggling them around. She giggled, and I smiled back at her. She grabbed hopped up on the couch next to me. I wrapped my arm around her and felt my eyes get wet. I missed Tanya being that little. No, I can’t focus on that right now. I have to concentrate on the task at hand. We were going to get her back.

  I smirked. Hot-Leather was tied up all nice in the broom closet. Like his daddy, Cobalt Junior got feisty when he realized that we weren’t exactly best friends. Luckily, Alice did her homework. His weakness was sugar. She’d had Prudence put a pot of sugar water, like what they make for bees sometimes, just in case. I didn’t know what I’d do without her. I had offered to clean the floor after I’d sloshed most of it on the floor. And let me tell you, holy freaking cow is it sticky.

  I cleared my throat, “So how’s your Grandma?”

  “She’s doing fine.”

  I nodded and turned on the television. I flipped through ten different TV stations, each of them talking about our incident. The press had some details right. I flipped over to the Hallmark movie channel. Prudence scrunched up next to me and sighed. Having a warm body laying against you had a way of making you see what was important, especially small ones. Family was all anyone had at the end of the day, and they weren’t guaranteed either. I sighed and picked up the paper. I flipped past the comics and focused on the news from the last couple of days. Maybe Alexander is right. I am getting old.

  Alice rubbed her eyes from the other couch and sat up before walking into the kitchen. The noise of her pouring her morning coffee was all that I could hear. Unlike the other couple of houses that I’d been in in the last couple weeks, this one had an absolutely enormous kitchen, well, enormous by my standards. She walked back out, carrying two cups of coffee and set out down in front of me.

  I took a long swig of it and sighed, “This is why you’re my best friend.”

  Alice snorted and sat down on the other side of Prudence. She leaned over and scooted to her grandma. I flipped through more channels. I wasn’t feeling a romance movie about true love right now, and I had a feeling that Alexander wouldn’t be either.

  “Where’s Erik?” Alice asked, breaking the silence.

  I nodded towards the broom closet, “In there.”

  She snickered and sipped her coffee, “Oh, did he put up much of a fight?”

  Now it was my turn to smirk, “Nothing a little sugar water couldn’t fix.” Her smile looked devious and ravishing. Wait, ravishing? I blinked. I hadn’t ever thought that about Alice before. We’d been friends for, gosh, forty-five, forty-six years at this point.

  I shook my head softly and shoved the thought down. There was time to think about that later and the implications of it. Today I had bigger things, and I needed to stay focused.

  “How soon do you think Elias will be ready to move?”

  I bit my lip, “Today. He won’t want to wait longer than tomorrow at most.”

  “I wonder if he thinks you’re as heartless as he is.”

  I blinked, “Come again?”

  Alice cocked her head at me, “I wonder if he thinks you’ll hurt little Erik over there the way he’d hurt Tanya if he was in your shoes.”

  I ground my teeth, “He’s too scared.”

  Alice rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee, “Not of you.”

  I felt the anger rising again, “He was afraid of me back then.”

  Alice shook her head, “He tolerated you and yo
ur smart mouth because you saved his bacon pretty frequently.”

  I grunted, “I saved him a lot.”

  Alice looked at me and frowned, “That’s what I just said.”

  “You don’t-”

  “No,” Alice shook her head, “I don’t think he hurt her.” I don’t know if I believed her, but I wanted to.

  “If he did, I’m going to kill him.”

  Alice wrapped her arm around Prudence, “You’re going to do it anyway.” I nodded. She had a point. “I’d call him now.”

  “Nah,” I shook my head and smirked, “He already knows we have him, they talked about one fatality on the news. Let’s let him think it might’ve been Hot-Leather over there.”

  Alice smirked, “Revenge is best served cold.”

  “Yeah, yeah, and it’s sweet, basically ice cream.”

  Alice cocked her head, “What’s that quote from?”

  I shrugged, “No idea.” She looked over at the phone that has begun ringing.

  “I got it,” she said. I would’ve preferred to wait longer, but it was Aline’s life on the line.

  We rolled up in a minivan. This one was puke green and didn’t have any stickers on it.

  Alice looked over at me, “You like?”

  I shrugged, “Less obnoxious than the last one.”

  “I don’t know, man,” Jonathan smirked at me, “I think you’d look good in pink.” I glared at him. He threw his hands up, “But hey, I also love all of my teeth being in my head too.” I looked back and hmphed. I tried to ignore the snickers from the back seat.

  “Let’s focus on the mission,” Alexander spoke up. I wanted to yell at him to lighten up, but I swallowed my snarky comments, for once. Yes, I was surprised too. Everyone’s a comedian.

  “They’re not here yet,” Alice said.

  “How do you know?” Alice gave me the look, the mom look. The one parents give their kids when they say something really stupid.

  “Probably because I know how his mind feels.”

  I threw up my hands, “I was just asking.” Jonathan snickered from the backseat.

  I pointed my finger at him, “Just you wait.” He smiled, and fake shivered. I heard a very unladylike snort from the driver’s side.

  “Silence from the peanut gallery,” I grinned.

  Alice stuck her tongue out at me. I one-upped her with my fingers in my ears as I’d done to Prudence. I sniffed pretentiously. Now I knew where Prudence got her inferior passing skills. We sat there for a good half hour before Alice turned the car back on. I lurched up in my seat and looked over at her.

  She shook her head, “Relax. They just pulled up.” I looked around at the collection of cheap imported cars.

  “Where?”

  She pointed out my window, “There, almost directly opposite from us.” I frowned. This was starting to feel like another setup. I cracked my knuckles, either way, Elias was about to make out with my knuckles, maybe his teeth and throat needed some loving too.

  The statue gleamed in the sunlight. It was made of a unique crystal that was incredibly durable and sparkly. I wasn’t sure how else to describe it. The stuff the statue was made from had been pulled from an alternate dimension by the Siberian back in twenty-three hundred. I frowned. The thing was almost indestructible. If she hadn’t been killed, she could’ve made a lot of money selling the stuff to governments to make body armor. Imagine if kinetic absorbing, impenetrable materials could’ve been made into body armor? Man, I would’ve robbed enough armored cars to buy two sets.

  I hated it here. Luckily, I couldn’t hurt the statue. I couldn’t be quite as destructive as half a ton of dynamite, but still. If that didn’t scratch it, then Elias couldn’t either. The park was packed. I grimaced, Elias was trying to make sure that if things went sideways, he’d be more likely to walk away without a scratch. I’d always had a problem with innocent casualties. I saw his eyes before I noticed anything else. The second thing I saw was his arrogant little smile that always seemed stuck on his ugly face.

  “Fancy seeing you here, Markus.”

  I smiled as sweetly as I knew how, “Don’t worry, we didn’t hurt daddy’s boy.”

  His smirk turned into a sneer, “Show me.” That was a command, I wasn’t particularly good with English, but I knew the difference between a statement and a command, they’d taught us that in sixth or seventh grade. I’m not a big fan of commands.

  “Where’s Tanya?” I demanded.

  “Maybe I didn’t make myself clear.”

  “Oh no,” I said, keeping my smile firmly plastered on my face, “I made sure we had enough. . . What was that stuff called?”

  Alice mimicked my smile, “Per-fluorocarbon.”

  Elias’ eyes blazed, “I still have your daughter.”

  “And I have your son locked in a box of breathable liquid that, as it turns out, is very, very conductive to electricity.”

  Alice moved to stand between us, “Boys, we both know you’re not going to let your kids get hurt because you’re both a couple of morons. For the love of AI above, act like adults.”

  Elias’ sneer lightened, “True, I don’t mind if innocents get hurt as well. Markus and I have always disagreed on the nature of necessary casualties.”

  “Okay,” I threw up my hands, “You win.”

  Elias waved his arm forward, “Now the-”

  “I don’t have enough electricity hooked up to kill him. Only enough to torture him, if I press the button in my coat, he should make it, oh, how long would you say?”

  Alice shrugged, “I’d say anywhere from five to thirty minutes, the how-to article wasn’t very specific on the voltage.”

  Elias’ eyes were cold, “Sometimes I think you’re begging me to end you.”

  “Funny, you already asked for that, bud.”

  Alice glared at me, “Strutting time is over,” she looked over to Elias, “where’s the girl?”

  He folded his arms, “You don’t see her until Erik is safely back with me. I pulled out a little universal remote and took my finger off of the power button. I wagged my thumb for a good five seconds before pressing back down on it and putting it back in my pocket. Jonathan had the real button, but I didn’t see why Elias needed to know that little piece of information. he raised one hand and swung it around. A brute walked out with Tanya. My heart raised up in my chest. Her face was covered in bruises. I resisted the urge to tell Jonathan to turn the taser on, but I resisted, barely.

  Elias’ head turned, “I told you, what you did to my son I would do to your daughter.” I ground my teeth, and Alice laid her hand on my arm.

  She looked up at Elias and sneered, “Pass her over.”

  “I don’t see my son.”

  Alice waved her hand, and Jonathan walked into the park. He was dressed in a Shaggy’s plumbing and supplies LLC. Uniform. He rolled a dolly forward that held a massive baby artificial womb machine, and he rolled it straight for us. There was a flap on the front of the cardboard box that Elias could flip up to identify his son before we’d finish the exchange. Elias quivered. He probably knew that I didn’t tase his son, but he had no way of knowing for sure. If I weren’t so angry, I’d probably have smiled.

  Alice looked at me out of the corner of her eye. I shook my head softly. I could resist killing Elias until Tanya was safe at home. Jonathan set the dolly down and it pinged as it hit the concrete. He stepped back and pulled out a clipboard and started fiddling with it while keeping his eyes up and ready for any negative action. Elias stepped up and flipped up the flap of cardboard. His face looked tired, then resolved, and finally angry. He stepped back and forced a frozen smile on his face.

  “You think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

  “Aww, I know I am. Now hand Tanya over.”

  “But why?” Elias shrugged his shoulders, “I have you right where I want you. My prize isn’t going anywhere.”

  I took a step forward before Alice flung her hand out and caught me. She nodded towards my chest, and I
looked down. Small circles of red light spotted my chest. I blinked. My danger sense wasn’t working. What else hadn’t I seen? Vomit seemed to force its way up in my throat, and I only held it back with sheer will.

  “Do you think those are going to stop me?” I asked.

  “They’re tranquilizers, the kind they use on elephants. You’ll be conscious enough to see me walk away with your child and mine and pretty little Alice’s blood making a gorgeous new floor for the park.”

  “Here, I thought you were so observant,” I muttered. He smiled sweetly at me. I couldn’t wait to knock that idiotic grin off of his stupid child beating face.

  “Oh, and why is that?”

  “Whoever you sold us out too mustn’t have told you how many people we had on our team.”

  Elias stared at his fingers and brushed them against his suit coat, “I know of on them died.”

  I pointed up, “Yeah, but they mustn’t have told you that her boyfriend made it out.” Elias’ eyes snapped around, and he spun on his heels to scan the skyline. His eyes weren’t that good, but they probably were good enough to see the bodies plummeting off of the buildings where he’d placed his sharpshooters.

  I swung my hands and slapped him as hard as I could on the ears. It was a cheap shot, but in the real world, nothing is off-limits. He staggered and fell to his knees. He rolled over and away from me and completed his role by landing on his knees. I jumped out of the way. I wanted to whistle, obviously Elias wasn’t human anymore, but I’d never heard of anyone being able to shrug off having both eardrums burst.

  Granted, he was weaving back and forth on his knees, but he howled at the top of his lungs and hurled lightning at Alice and me. She luckily jumped away from me and didn’t get the blast that was meant for me. Jonathan dropped to his knees and reached for his ears. His fingers came away with blood. I glanced up. The cardboard was soaked. Oh boy. The liquid oozed out of the bottom of the cardboard. I didn’t think the kid would be able to use his powers but-

  Tanya screamed. My head snapped towards her. The thug pulled the gun back and loaded the gun. He was an amateur, but that wasn’t going to stop him. Distantly I heard Alice howl. It was an angry, guttural sound. The thug’s eyes widened as he spun the gun around and put it between his eyes and pulled the trigger.