Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24)

by Lillianna Blake

  “We’ve never actually met,” Kat explained and then held up a finger. “Don’t you dare judge me, Samantha,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with long-distance relationships.”

  “Uh, I wasn’t judging,” I said quickly.

  But I was. I mean, a relationship with someone you had never met? Didn’t make sense to me.

  “Listen, it’s much more common than you think,” she explained. “Haven’t you ever noticed how much easier it is to express yourself through e-mail? Or how about that guy I’ve seen chatting you up on your blog?”

  “Chatting me up?” I asked. “What?”

  “Blue.” Kat smiled. “Don’t act like you don’t know exactly who he is. I can see how fast you reply to his comments.”

  “Okay, he seems interesting,” I admitted. “But I doubt he’s chatting me up.”

  “You’re wrong,” she said with a shrug. “But the point is, you can be more open, really get to know a person without judging them first. Isn’t that what your blog is kind of all about?” she asked.

  “You’ve read my blog?” I asked with a blush.

  “That’s not the point, Samantha—focus.” Kat laughed. “Don’t knock it until you try it. You can really meet someone amazing through online dating or gaming like I have.”

  “Okay.” I nodded a little.

  I had to admit she was right. I had opened up far more on my blog than I ever had to any boyfriend. I had been buzzing with excitement at the thought of the mystery man at the pool being Blue. Of course that was just a fantasy, but maybe it didn’t have to be.

  I had plenty of time, what with Stephanie and Max being occupied. Maybe it was time to try out dating again. What better way than to have the chance to get to know a man and have him get to know me, before we ever met? “I think you’re on to something, Kat,” I said with a smile. “Maybe it’s time to add that to my list.”

  “I think it should be,” Kat said. “Then maybe you won’t interrupt my date nights.”

  “Sorry.” I cringed.

  “It’s okay.” Kat shrugged. “But why did you interrupt it?”

  “Actually, I joined this group and they took a picture and put it on their website and then linked it to my blog and now I feel like I’m tangled up in the World Wide Web and—”

  “Oh boy.” Cass frowned. “That is a problem. I can take the picture down and clean this up, but if any of your readers on the blog happened upon the link to the group’s website, you should know that they’re going to have a good idea of where you live and what you were up to.”

  “That’s alright.” I shrugged. “I only have like five readers.”

  “Oh wow, did I not explain that to you?” Kat asked.

  “What?” I narrowed my eyes.

  “Just because only five people are following you, that doesn’t mean that only those five people have been reading your blog. Anyone can read it,” she explained.

  “Ugh, maybe I should take it down,” I muttered.

  “Don’t you dare,” Kat warned. “I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’ll just have to help you keep it a little more secure. But first, let’s get you set up with a dating site.”

  As I was pulled into Kat’s world of technology again, I wondered if this would really be the way I would meet my Mr. Right. At this point, I was willing to give anything a shot.

  Single Wide Female: The Bucket List

  7 Start Online Dating

  By

  Lillianna Blake

  Copyright © 2015 Lillianna Blake

  Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers

  All rights reserved.

  LilliannaBlake.com

  Chapter 1

  The wheels on my computer chair were making a quiet squeaking sound as I rocked from side to side. My neighbor Kat tapped away on the keyboard in front of her. Squeak, tap, squeak, tap.

  “Samantha!” Kat said. She looked at me with annoyance, which was only made more dramatic by her heavy eye make-up.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m trying to work here,” she said. “Do you want your profile completed or not?”

  “I guess.”

  I had been avoiding completing my online dating profile for a long time, but now it was time to tick the item off of my bucket list. I wasn’t going to meet the man of my dreams unless I started putting myself out there.

  Stepping into the world of technology with my blog was a big change for me, but this was even worse. I was not only going to be exposed to anyone who had an account with the dating site, I was basically asking for attention.

  “Do you want a date or not?” Kat asked. From the tension in her lips I could tell that she was getting annoyed.

  “I do, I just don’t know if this is the right way to go about it. I mean, who are these men that will respond to me? Will I even get any responses?” I asked.

  “Oh, you’ll get responses,” Kat said. “You just have to worry about whether you’ll get any decent responses.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. I leaned over her shoulder to look at the screen while she sorted through some of the profiles.

  “Look at this guy. He looks good on the surface—clean-cut, cute enough,” Kat said.

  “He looks good to me.”

  “But when you read his profile, you have to read between the lines. He says he’s close to his family—which means he probably lives with his mother. He wants someone he can have a spiritual connection with. That means he’s into open relationships and wants to have a spiritual connection with as many women as possible,” Kat said.

  “That’s not what it says at all. How do you know that’s what it means?” I asked.

  “Trust me, I know.” Kat rolled her eyes and flipped through a few more profiles. “I’ve been through enough of the duds to know them within the first sentence of their profile.”

  “Who are the duds?” I asked.

  “Guys who have a passion for art and literature are comic book addicts. Then there are the relationship junkies who have been married at least three times in the last ten years. Some list their pets as kids,” Kat said.

  “I think that’s sweet. Nothing wrong with loving your pet like it’s part of your family,” I said.

  “There is something wrong with having to take Fido everywhere you go, along with his little baggie of poop,” Kat said. She scrunched up her nose at the idea. “I dated this one guy who would inspect it before he bagged it. He said it was to make sure that the dog was healthy. Seriously, he would dissect it with a stick.”

  “Ugh, now that’s pretty bad.” I was already squeamish about the dating profile, but Kat’s description of the dog-poop-toting date was enough to make me feel even worse.

  “That’s why you have to be choosy about how you select,” Kat said. “This isn’t about being nice. You have to weed out the dangerous ones too.”

  “Dangerous ones?” I asked.

  “Sure, there are just as many creeps out there as there are decent guys. That’s why you have to be careful. Always arrange your date at a public place, and always make sure that you tell someone where you are going and who you are going with,” Kat said.

  “Wow, this is sounding more like espionage than dating,” I said. I sat back in my chair and sighed. “Dating was so much easier when we were younger. Maybe you hooked up with someone in high school. Maybe your college roommate had a brother.”

  “Okay, it might have been easier, but you have to look at it this way. By setting up a profile online you’re jumping into a dating pool. You’re surrounded by men who actually want a girlfriend, who are the type that you want, and who you’d probably never meet on your own,” she said.

  “I guess you’re right about that.” I started rocking the chair back and forth again.

  “So are you ready? Can I hit submit?” she asked. Her finger hovered over the enter key.

  “Wait, wait,” I said. “You don’t think I sound too cheesy? Do you really think that’s the best picture to use?”


  “I don’t think you sound cheesy at all, and that is the perfect picture to use. Let’s just do it!” Without waiting for my approval she hit the enter key. “It’s live now, baby!” Kat said. “No turning back!”

  I stared at the screen as the web page loaded and revealed my picture as well as all of the important details that had to be included in the profile. I felt extremely anxious, as I knew that now anyone could browse it.

  “You okay, Samantha?”

  “I think so,” I said. My voice was a little shaky.

  “Good, because I need to get going,” Kat said. “Spend some time checking out some of the profiles that are matched to yours. You can always send them a message first, you don’t have to wait for them.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  Kat left the apartment, and I was still staring at the computer in front of me. I wasn’t ready to even begin looking through the profiles. I was contemplating deleting my own.

  I got caught up in the search for much longer than I expected.

  Luckily I had something to distract myself. Max was coming over for movie night.

  Chapter 2

  I finally turned off my computer and walked back into the living room. As I settled down on the couch I heard a light knock on the door.

  “Come in, Max.”

  The door swung open and Max walked in carrying a movie.

  “Hey, Sammy, ready to be terrified?” He waved the movie around in front of me.

  “I’m sure I’ll be shaking like a leaf,” I said.

  I rolled my eyes as he set the movie up. I did my best to hide my crush on Max. Actually I was doing more than that these days. I was doing my best to pretend my crush on Max didn’t exist. I had made it part of my bucket list to let go of any romantic notions about him. After so many years of friendship I knew that nothing more was going to happen between us. That was part of the reason for the big push into online dating. I needed someone new to distract me from the fact that I absolutely adored the way Max’s buns stretched out the seat of his jeans when he bent over.

  Look away, Sammy, I warned myself. I forced my eyes to the DVD case instead. It was a morbid horror flick that I was sure was going to give me nightmares.

  “What have you been up to today?” he asked. He sat down on the couch beside me.

  Too close. I scooted away. He yawned, stretched, and scooted closer. I was already against the arm of the couch with nowhere left to scoot.

  “I published my dating profile. Want some wine? Popcorn?” I stood up from the couch.

  “I’ll take both, after you tell me what you’re talking about,” he said.

  I felt his hand curve around my hip. He tugged me back down on the couch beside him. Our bodies brushed together in a way that sent sparks flying through me. Flustered, I shifted forward to the edge of the couch.

  “I published my online dating profile to see if I can find someone decent.” I stood up again and walked into the kitchen. When I glanced over my shoulder I noticed him watching me intently.

  “Online dating? Are you really that desperate, Sammy?” he asked.

  His words were like a knife through my heart. I took a deep breath and forced myself not to have an overly emotional reaction.

  “It’s not desperate to want someone to spend time with,” I said.

  “You have me.”

  “I don’t want movie night, Max. I want someone to spend time with, someone who wants to spend time with me,” I said. “That doesn’t make me desperate.”

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” Max said. “You know better than that. I just meant that only desperate people get involved in online dating. You’re better than that.”

  “If I’m so much better than that, then why am I here with you watching a terrible movie instead of out on the town with the man I am so worthy of?” I asked.

  I snatched the popcorn out of the microwave and opened up the bag. I began pouring it into the bowl as Max walked into the kitchen. He leaned back against the counter and reached into the bowl to grab a handful of popcorn.

  “Because you’re addicted to my pleasant company,” he said. Then he tossed a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

  “That must be it,” I said.

  “The movie isn’t terrible. You’re going to like it.” He offered me his charming smile. I shook my head and carried the bowl of popcorn back into the living room.

  “If you consider people getting chopped into little bits entertainment then I guess that this movie is going to be great.” I sat down on the couch and he immediately sat down beside me.

  He said, “I’m not letting you hog the popcorn. Besides, you should pay close attention to this movie, because with online dating you might just end up chopped into little pieces,” He poked me sharply in the curve of my side.

  “Ouch,” I said. I threw a handful of popcorn at him. He threw a handful right back.

  Soon we were laughing and just about all of the popcorn was on the floor. I snatched up one of the few remaining pieces and was about to launch it at him when he pounced on me. He pinned me against the couch. The sudden sensation of him being on top of me took my breath away. I wasn’t the least bit frightened. It was exhilarating to me to look up into his eyes.

  “I don’t think so,” he said. He leaned down and snatched the popcorn from between my fingertips with his teeth. He smiled at me as he crunched the popcorn and released me.

  I closed my eyes. With the heat I felt in my cheeks I was sure he must have seen me blushing. Luckily we had been laughing so hard that he might not have noticed. I wanted more than anything to pull him back down on top of me. I wanted him to declare that he couldn’t stand the thought of me dating another man, no matter how I met him. But all Max did was grab a broom from the kitchen to sweep up the popcorn.

  “Max, you should go,” I said.

  “What?” he asked. He leaned on the broom handle and looked at me with confusion.

  “I’m feeling a little tired.”

  “Okay, no movie?”

  “Not tonight.”

  He leaned the broom against the wall, then turned back to look at me. “Did I upset you?”

  “No, I’m just tired. Really,” I said.

  “You want to be well rested for those Internet hotties?” His gaze lingered on me, but I refused to look directly back at him.

  “Maybe.”

  “Alright, good night,” he said. He waved once at me and then walked toward the door.

  I felt a pang of guilt for making him leave. We always enjoyed our time together. My mind was spinning from how close he had been to me.

  “Night, Max,” I said.

  He closed the door behind him. I could tell from the firm tug he gave the door that he was not too happy. I flopped back down on the couch and tried to put the entire situation out of my mind. It was the same thing I had been trying to do for so many years. Hopefully, by the next day I would have a message from someone who could distract me.

  Chapter 3

  After cleaning up from the movie date I had cut short with Max, I headed to bed. I was exhausted, so I didn’t expect to have a problem falling asleep. Instead, as soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind was going wild with thoughts. It was strange to think of my profile floating around out there in cyberspace. I was a little bit preoccupied with the idea that someone could be looking at my picture right that moment and reading about my likes and dislikes.

  After I’d gone over what I’d written about myself for the thousandth time in my head, my mind began to wander to who might be looking at my picture. I wasn’t terribly worried about the stalkers and weirdos that Max had warned me about. However, it struck me that I really had no idea who I wanted looking at my profile.

  Who was my dream man? Of course my first thought was Max. He had been my go-to fantasy guy for a long time. But lately I had been trying to nip that in the bud. Max wasn’t interested in me that way, and I didn’t want to be with someone that I had to wait for. So if not
Max, then who?

  As I rolled over in my bed my mind filled with flickers of faces I had found attractive in the past. I really enjoyed dark-colored eyes—whether dark brown, dark green, or dark blue—there was something mysterious and intriguing to me about the deeper shades.

  Then of course there was the hair. I was a bit of a hair addict. I really enjoyed men with luxurious hair, no matter the color. I even liked hippie-style hair. But the more I thought about all of these physical qualities that I might like in a man, the more I realized that they didn’t really matter to me.

  A man could have every physical attribute that I was looking for, but if he couldn’t make me laugh—if he didn’t share my light-hearted optimistic view on life, I wouldn’t want to be with him. As I fell asleep my mind was still scattered with thoughts of the good and bad qualities I might discover in a man.

  “Samantha. Samantha,” he said.

  I opened my eyes and found myself looking into the most beautiful deep brown eyes I had ever seen. I had no idea who they belonged to. Whoever it was also had full soft lips that were only a few inches from my own. My heart dropped. Who the heck was lying next to me in my bed?

  “Don’t be scared,” he said.

  “Who are you?” I asked.

  “Don’t you think the world would be a better place if we didn’t ask so many questions?”

  “Why are you here?”

  “I got kicked out of my Mom’s basement,” he said.

  “What?” I sat up in bed and stared at him with disbelief. He had the perfect chest, which just happened to be bare. His hair was long and slightly wavy. He looked like he could have been straight off of the cover of a romance novel. “Who are you?”

  “I’m yours, Sammy,” he said. Suddenly his voice was Max’s voice.

  I felt as if I was losing my grip on reality.

  “Oops—sorry, I have to go. I’m meeting my third wife and three kids at a comic book convention. Could you please walk the dog while I’m out? And make sure that you put his shoes on, because you never know what might be on the sidewalk.”

  He climbed out of bed. I stared at his completely naked body as he walked away.