Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24)

by Lillianna Blake

  “As if there’s any romance at a wedding,” Max said.

  I rolled my eyes. Max was a self-declared bachelor with no clear intention of ever getting married—which was a shame in my opinion, because Max was, without a doubt, a really great guy. If he gave it a chance, I was sure he would make a wonderful husband—not that I wanted anyone else to have him.

  “It says here it starts at three in the afternoon tomorrow,” I said. “Just enough time for me to get everything I need to go.”

  “You’re serious about this huh?” he asked.

  “Well, what do you think? Would you come with me?” I braced myself for his answer. As long as Max and I had known each other we’d always done everything together, but we’d never crashed a wedding.

  “Do you want me to?” He flopped his head back against the couch and groaned a little.

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to,” I said. “But I don’t want you to go unless you want to go.”

  “Sammy, you know I’d do anything for you. But a wedding? I mean, it’s not exactly my idea of a good time.”

  “I know.” I shrugged and smiled. “That’s fine, I’m sure there will be plenty of men there for me to dance with.”

  “See, now I feel like I’m letting you down.” He sat forward on the couch. I could feel his gaze on me as I carried our empty wine glasses and the remainder of the popcorn into the kitchen.

  Chapter 2

  Max followed me into the kitchen, and I glanced over at him as I set the glasses and bowl into the sink.

  “You’re not letting me down. I just thought it would be something fun to do, but if you don’t think it’s fun, then I wouldn’t want to make you to go,” I said.

  He was staring at me as if he had some kind of secret.

  “What?”

  “You can’t wait to get married, can you?” he asked.

  I quickly looked away from him. I turned on the faucet and began to wash the dishes, even though I could have easily left them for later.

  “I would like to get married one day—yes.”

  “Why? Why is it that so many women want that?”

  I shook my head. “Max, just because you don’t believe in love and romance, doesn’t mean the rest of the world shouldn’t.”

  “Hey—” His tone was firm as he stepped a little closer to me. “—I do believe in love and romance. That doesn’t mean I have to believe in marriage.”

  “You’re absolutely right,” I said. I finished washing the last glass. “I think marriage is so important to me because it’s a way of saying to my partner that there’s no one else in the world that I want to be with.”

  “Until it ends in divorce,” Max said.

  “Not all marriages end in divorce.”

  “Okay, not all of them. But half of the ones that don’t, should. How many people do you know that are stuck in a miserable marriage?”

  “You’re being a downer.” I flicked some soapy water in his direction.

  “Watch it!”

  He laughed as I handed him a towel. “It isn’t that I’m trying to change your mind. I just really want to understand. What is the benefit of committing to a legal union? If you loved and trusted someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them, shouldn’t that be enough? Why does paperwork have to be involved?”

  “You won’t understand until you know what it’s like.”

  “Until I know what what’s like?” he asked.

  I smiled a little as I watched the water drain out of the sink.

  “To know in your heart that you would do anything just to spend a minute with the person you love. To want to share all of your experiences, good and bad, with that person. To wonder how you could live without their presence in your life.”

  “You know what that’s like?” he asked.

  “I do.” I turned away from him to walk back into the living room.

  “Who?” he asked. “You never told me that you were in love with anyone.”

  I couldn’t believe that after all these years of pining away for him, Max was still so clueless, but I wasn’t going to let on now—not when I was determined to shift my focus from him to other potential loves of my life.

  “Some secrets are meant to be kept,” I said.

  “Okaaaay. Fine. You don’t have to tell me, but answer me this—do you really think that there is only one right person out there for you? That if you miss that person, you’re out of luck?”

  “I don’t know.” I was honest as I continued. “I hope not. I mean, I don’t think it’s so much about there being that one right person. I think it’s just about keeping an open mind and finding things that you have in common with the other person.”

  “Okay,” he said. “I surrender. If you think it’s fun, then go—and enjoy.”

  “I will. I have a dress and I need a reason to wear it.” I smiled thinking about it.

  “And you can’t think of a better place than some poor couple’s wedding?” he asked. “What if you showing up out of the blue somehow ruins the ceremony?”

  “I won’t ruin it. They won’t even know I’m there. It’s outside. I’m sure they’re not exactly going to have a bouncer.”

  “They might.”

  “I think that you need to get into the spirit of this, Max. You have to think about it from my point of view. It isn’t about what could go wrong, it’s about taking the chance on what could go right.”

  “I don’t know—I tend to not show up at places where I’m not invited.”

  “Alright, fine. You don’t have to go. I’m fine with going by myself. I just thought you might like to have a little fun.”

  “I guess it’s not exactly my idea of fun.” He flashed me a wide smile. “I have some other ideas.”

  “Like?” I asked.

  “Maybe skydiving?”

  “Skydiving? I don’t think so!” I laughed and gave Max a quick hug. “I think I’ll stick to wedding crashing for now.”

  “Alright, but if you change your mind, I’d jump out of a plane with you any day.” He smiled.

  The next morning I woke up excited. I was ready to jump right into the next item on my bucket list. My mind was filled with all of the possibilities of what might happen as a result of my daring move. I was hoping I might meet someone new, but at the very least I was sure that I would have a great time.

  I decided to reveal my plans on my blog. I was getting more followers by the day, and I wanted to keep them updated on the progress with my bucket list. I put together a quick note about my intentions and then set about getting ready for the wedding.

  When I walked up to my closet, I saw the dress I hoped to wear. It had been hanging in the front of my closet as a daily motivation for me. It was the next size smaller than I normally wore. My heart beat a little faster as I wondered if it would fit.

  I grabbed the dress off the hanger. It was sleeveless, which was another big step for me. It had a snug bodice and a fairly short flowing skirt. I eased the dress on until it was in the correct position. Still I didn’t dare look in the mirror. There were a few times I’d fallen off the healthy eating wagon—not to mention the fact that I quite possibly drank a bit too much wine according to my diet plan. Was it possible that I would still make it down to the next size? I had been trying different exercise activities, so maybe—just maybe. I squeezed my eyes shut and reluctantly turned to look into the full-length mirror.

  Chapter 3

  When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I was startled at first. It took me a moment to process what I saw. Not only did the dress fit… Though admittedly snug in a few areas, it looked fantastic. I had curves. I had always had curves that I was proud of, but now my curves were much more defined. I felt sensual and seductive as I turned slowly to observe the dress and the way it shaped my body. It was amazing to me that one dress size could make such a difference. Not only did I like the way I looked but it also made me confident that my plan was working. I was well on my way to meeting
my next goal. Nothing was going to stop me.

  I flounced the skirt of the dress and smiled at the way it swirled around my thighs. In the past I avoided wearing anything above the knee as I felt it emphasized the size of my thighs. The skirt of this dress hovered a good few inches above my knees. It was the perfect dress to wear to crash a wedding—if they made dresses for that purpose.

  I was starting to get excited. The point of crashing the wedding was not so much for fun and adrenaline, but because I wanted to remind myself that it’s okay to be beautiful, it’s okay to dress up and draw attention. I knew there would be plenty of eligible bachelors at the wedding that I could dance with. There was only one I really wanted to dance with, but that fact was not going to get to me. I was determined to have a fantastic time.

  I spent a little time fixing up my hair. I didn’t do too much with it, as an outside wedding meant that anything I did would be undone pretty quickly by the elements. I applied a light dusting of make-up. I’d never been great at the art of sculpting my face. I’d been friends with a woman at one point who knew exactly how to brush on make-up that would slim the face. It was a neat trick, but it made me feel a bit like I was putting on a mask. I wanted whatever lucky man I met that night to be ready to accept me as I was.

  I took one last look in the mirror. I felt happy about what I saw. Not just how I looked, but the glimmer in my eyes that reminded me my bucket list journey was meant to be a happy one. Sure there was a time for introspection, but there was also a time for free wine and handsome men in tuxedos.

  When I stepped out of the apartment, I found Max waiting for me outside.

  “Max, what are you doing here?”

  In t-shirt and jeans, he certainly wasn’t dressed to join me.

  “I can’t believe you’re really going.” He laughed. “I was coming by to see if you wanted to go out, but I see you’re actually following through with this.”

  “I am.” I smiled widely in his direction. “So you’re sure you don’t want to go?”

  Was I imagining the way he was staring at me? It seemed to me the slight parting of his lips, the subtle widening of his eyes, and the flush of his cheeks all indicated that he was enjoying the view. Or maybe, I just wanted him to be enjoying it and was trying to create that as reality.

  He stared a moment longer and then glanced away.

  “I don’t think so.” His voice had softened slightly.

  “You could bring Vanessa,” I said.

  “Vanessa?”

  “Your girlfriend.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  “Okay, the female human that you’ve been spending copious amounts of time with. How’s that?” I teased him as he looked up at me with a sheepish smile.

  “She’s pretty great,” he said.

  In some ways that was not what I wanted to hear. In other ways, it was exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted Max to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me. The one luxury of being in Max’s friend zone rather than his girlfriend zone was the fact that his girlfriends had a very short shelf life, while I’d been around for ten years.

  “Then you should bring her. I bet she would have fun. Most women love to attend weddings,” I said.

  “I don’t think so.” He ran his hands along his thighs and knees as he shook his head. “She’s not one for crashing things.”

  “Ah, a straight and narrow kind of girl?” I asked. “How did you end up with someone like that?”

  “Watch it.” He shot me a playful glare.

  I smiled back at him. I loved it when he pretended to be angry at me. He got the cutest little pout— Snap out of it, Samantha! I ordered myself.

  “Okay—well, I’m going. If you two get bored later you’re welcome to join me.”

  “Thanks for the invitation to the wedding that you’re not actually invited to.” He laughed and looked at me with what I thought was admiration in his eyes. “I’m sure that you’ll have a great time.”

  “I’m going to try to.” With that I slung my purse over my shoulder. “Oh no!”

  “What?”

  “I don’t have a present. I can’t show up at a wedding I’m not invited to without a present.”

  “Well, maybe you have something inside that you could wrap up?” he said.

  “Good idea.” I stepped back inside with Max following after me.

  I walked over to my kitchen closet. It was filled with all of the appliances I’d purchased thinking that they’d make my weight loss endeavors easier—there was the vita-blender, the juicer, the pulverizer, the food dehydrator. Most of them had never been used.

  There was one item that I’d never even opened. It was a grill that promised to wick away every ounce of fat from whatever food you cooked. From the commercial it made it seem like I could eat anything I wanted. Once I got it home I realized that I didn’t want to eat anything that had all of the fat sucked out of it, so I had shoved it to the back of the closet. I decided to dig it out. When I finally managed to get my hands on it, I gave a hard tug. The entire tower of neglected appliances came crashing down on top of me.

  “Sammy!” Max rushed to the closet. I felt the brush of his fingertips as he quickly began to dig me out of the pile of boxes and strange appliances.

  “Are you okay?”

  I looked into his stunned eyes.

  “Present.” I held up the unopened box proudly.

  “If you stop by the mailbox shop down the road, they’ll wrap it for you,” Max said.

  “Is that how my birthday presents from you always end up wrapped so perfectly?” I asked.

  “Maybe.” He winked. “Have fun.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Chapter 4

  After Max left, I straightened my hair a bit and then headed out myself.

  As I locked my apartment behind me I felt a sense of victory within. In the past I wouldn’t have been so daring as to do things on my own, especially things that were considered “date” activities. Going to a wedding was a date activity in my mind. However, going solo had its perks too. It meant that I would be available to dance with whomever I pleased.

  The wedding was at the park—only a few blocks from my apartment. That made it even easier to sneak into. I could just slip in when no one was looking. I was feeling a little exhilarated by the idea, and just the slightest bit nervous. Would I be caught and rejected before I even got into the wedding? That would be a bit of a disappointment, but at least I’d managed to wiggle into my new dress.

  I stopped in at the shop Max had told me about and walked out with a perfectly wrapped present.

  The sidewalk was crowded with people as usual. Few were dressed as nicely as I was. I noticed a couple of glances in my direction. I had no idea if they were looking at me because I looked nice, or because I was far too overdressed to be walking down the street.

  When I got closer to the park I began to notice a few people dressed for the wedding. I kept my head tilted down and slightly to the side so that no one would spot me and try to recognize me. Once I reached the entrance of the park, I noticed that the host of the wedding did indeed have a bouncer. He was probably more aptly described as a security guard. He had a clipboard in his hand and was standing between the entrance of the gardens and the entrance of the park. I waited for a group of women about my age to begin walking toward the security guard.

  “Just need to confirm names, ladies,” he said. As he was going down the list of names I whispered to one of the women.

  “Do you remember that time Jennifer got sick all over the backseat of my car?” I asked.

  “Huh?” the woman I spoke to said.

  “Oh, don’t tell me you don’t remember.” I laughed a little.

  “I don’t think I do. It must have been a crazy night,” she said.

  “It was! Wow, was it wild!”

  We began laughing over a shared experience that I was completely imagining.

  “Jennifer, do you remember that night?” the wo
man asked. A woman at the front of the group turned back to look at us both.

  “What night?” She looked at me strangely.

  I was proud of the fact that I got it right. There was usually at least one Jennifer in a group of women around my age.

  “See, I told you it was wild.” I laughed loudly, drowning out some of the names that the security guard was checking off. I created enough of a distraction that he finally just waved all of us through. That was it. I was in. A moment later Jennifer pulled me aside.

  “Hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your car,” she said. “I had a real problem with alcohol back then.”

  I stared at her for a moment. I hadn’t expected my ruse to be taken so seriously. I had to wonder how many nights Jennifer didn’t remember. I pushed the concern out of my mind as I just nodded toward the stranger and told her not to worry about it.

  I was in. I’d made it and I was free to wander the wedding. There was a table near the entrance set up as a place for the gifts. It was piled fairly high. I tried to add my gift to the corner, but it toppled right off. I picked it up and brushed a few blades of grass off the perfect wrapping. I looked for another spot to place it in, but there wasn’t a patch of empty table space left.

  I stood on my tiptoes and tried to place the present on top of a stack. As soon as I placed it, the stack began to sway. With a gasp, I grabbed the present and steadied the stack. I decided that the only way I could get the present on the table was to slide one of the stacks over some.

  As I was sliding the stack, the priest walked past the gift table. He paused to speak to a nicely dressed middle-aged couple. I guessed that it was the parents of either the bride or the groom. As I was looking in their direction, the stack of presents I was sliding began to tip. I reached out to grab them and in the process brushed the back of my hand across the priest’s backside. When he spun around, the presents were fine and I was standing frozen in fear. He gave me a look that could have withered a sunflower.

  “So sorry,” I said and backed away from the table.

  As I was walking away, a woman placed another present on the table. When she did, the pile of presents that I had caught collapsed to the ground. There were a few cries of concern as wedding guests rushed toward the toppling gifts. They swarmed around to pick up the presents while the woman apologized profusely. She looked mortified.