“Ever since then, I’ve just been terrified of the water. Even though I know how to swim, when I get in the water, I just freeze up. I thought maybe if I started over, I’d have the chance to get comfortable in the water again.”
“Well, you’re in the right place to do that.” Mira frowned. “The water is a force that we need to respect. That’s something we all have to keep in mind. No matter how strong a swimmer you are, things can still happen. The important thing is that you remain prepared and know what to do when those situations come up.”
As each person took a turn with their story, I was fascinated by how different the reasons were that had driven us all to this one class. There were two other women in the class who confessed that body image was the main reason for never learning to swim.
When it was my turn, I didn’t even really feel nervous. Even though I had just met these people, I still felt as if I was among friends.
“I guess the biggest barrier to me becoming a better swimmer was just feeling awkward in the water. I enjoy swimming, I like being in the water, but I had a hard time with people seeing me in my bathing suit. Also because of my weight, I told myself I wasn’t capable of being a good swimmer. I never really gave myself the chance to even find out if I could be a good swimmer. Then I got really self-conscious about not being able to swim well. I’m just glad this class is here. I’m really looking forward to learning with all of you.”
The others smiled warmly. I felt like I belonged to a club of outsiders—the people who couldn’t simply frolic in the water to relieve the summer heat. We all had our different reasons for being there, but I had a feeling we were going to end up being each other’s best supporters.
As we all began to push our boundaries in the water, there was no one there to tease us or question us. The water felt delicious on my skin.
Mira walked us through floating, which I already knew how to do.
Floating had always been one of my favorite things to do. Feeling weightless allowed me to fantasize about a different body. This time, though, I appreciated the body I had instead. Every day on my journey got me one step closer to the figure that I was hoping for.
Mira took some time with each of us. When she got to me, I was lost in my thoughts and enjoying my float. I felt her hand touch lightly against my shoulder and immediately lost my buoyancy. I slid right under the water with my mouth wide open. As the water began to prevent me from being able to breathe, I slashed my arms and legs about wildly. I could hear Mira’s voice beyond the sloshing of the water but I couldn’t stop the panic that had begun surging through me.
“Samantha! Stand up!” Mira shouted.
Chapter 5
It wasn’t until I heard her words that I remembered that I was in the shallow end of the pool. I slid my feet down in the water and felt the cement floor. Embarrassed, I stood up. I coughed a few more times.
“Are you okay, Samantha?”
“Yes, I’m sorry. You just startled me.”
I noticed that everyone was staring at me. I coughed again as my cheeks burned red.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Samantha. Thank you for illustrating exactly what not to do.”
I cringed.
“If you’re ever in the water and you find yourself in trouble, what is the last thing you should do?” Mira looked around at the faces of my classmates.
“Don’t do what she did.” Darlene smiled.
I had to laugh a little.
“You’re right, Darlene. But what did she do?”
“I panicked.” I sighed and realized that I was going to have to fess up. “I forgot where I was, I swallowed water, and then I panicked.”
“That’s why it’s so important to feel confident when you are in the water. A moment of panic can lead to a very dangerous situation. You need to be in control of your body and your mind when you are in the water.”
I shook my head at my own behavior. I knew better than to give in so easily to panic, but I’d still done it. How could I expect to beat Max if I couldn’t even float right?
“Alright, that’s enough for today.” Mira smiled. “I’ll see you all back here tomorrow.”
I was feeling pretty discouraged as I climbed out of the pool.
As the class dispersed I pulled Mira aside for a moment.
“Do you think it would be okay if I stayed after to practice?”
“Sure. The more you practice the better. Just make sure that you use caution and that the lifeguard is on duty.” She nodded her head toward the lifeguard stand where Isaac was perched. If I ever needed motivation to drown, he would do quite nicely.
“Okay, I will.”
I jumped back into the pool. I was determined to beat Max. It wasn’t just about being able to have gloating rights. It was about showing him that I was strong and fit—or at least working on it.
His question earlier that day was still ringing through my mind. I couldn’t decide if it was a hint to try to get me to back off a little, or if he really had a woman at work with a crush on him.
I swam from one side of the shallow end to the other and back again. Despite the fact that being in the water was low-impact, I was getting worn out. My heart pounded as I tried for one more lap. At the end of it I was exhausted.
I spread out my arms and floated on my back for a while. As I stared up at the high ceiling I wondered how I was ever going to get good enough to beat Max. I turned over and put my face down into the water to float. I opened my eyes and ignored the burning of the chemicals in the pool water. I enjoyed seeing the world underwater. Everything seemed soft and dreamy. I was just beginning to really relax when I heard a sharp whistling sound.
Curious, I was about to lift my head up out of the water, but before I could I felt arms around my waist. My heart began to race with instant panic. I was jerked up from the water. I flailed and squirmed but the arms held me tightly.
“Samantha! Samantha!” I opened my eyes enough to see that it was Isaac holding on to me.
“Are you okay?” He held my head above the water.
“I’m fine.” I sputtered and managed to get my feet underneath me. “I was just floating.”
“You were down too long.” He sighed and shook his head. “Look, I know that you think it’s fun to get my attention, but really, I have to supervise the other people in the pool. I can’t be coming to your rescue all of the time.
“What? I didn’t need to be rescued! I was just floating!”
“Well, you must have a healthy set of lungs, because you were face down in the water far too long.”
I didn’t know whether to be angrier that he had interrupted my float, or that he had accused me of faking a drowning for attention. I decided it was definitely time to get out of the water.
“Well, you must have a really big ego to think that I was floating in the water to get your attention.” I glared at him.
Isaac swam away from me without another word. I was flat-out angry that he would assume something like that. Okay, maybe there was that one time that I thought about starting a fire to get a hunky fireman to come to my rescue, but I only thought about it.
As I made my way out of the pool, I was feeling pretty sullen. I didn’t think I was ever going to learn to swim fast enough to be able to beat Max. He would probably go easy on me, and he might even let me win—because he was a good guy. But I didn’t want a pity victory. I wanted all of my hard work to pay off with a win.
Chapter 6
That night I spent some time thinking about the other people in my class. They were all a bit old for learning to swim—like me. They all had their own story. A few of the stories were like mine, but most were about fear and loss. I imagined that happened a lot in life—that tragedy could cause you to simply freeze up and stop evolving.
I hadn’t faced any great tragedy, but a part of me had been waiting for Max’s attention for quite some time. Maybe when I realized I’d fallen in love with him, my ability to experience romance froze. Maybe I w
as so busy waiting for him to realize that he was in love with me too that I couldn’t get my head above the metaphorical water.
That was the only real explanation for my avoiding moving things forward with Blue. That, and my fear that he didn’t really want to be with me—that I was just a passing fascination to him.
I closed my eyes and remembered the sound of my hands slicing through the water. It was a crisp sound that signified movement. When had I stopped moving forward through life?
I felt some sadness wash over me as I wondered if I could ever really move on while Max was still in my life. I’d been trying so hard to focus on other things, but the moment I really relaxed, his face floated into my thoughts. Even as I fell asleep, he was still on my mind.
When I woke up the next morning, my body let me know that I’d been in the water. My legs were a little sore, as were my arms. It was a good feeling. It reminded me that I was not just overcoming one of my fears, but I was also getting a good workout while I did it.
I decided to write a quick blog post about the swim class and the race I had planned with a friend. I wasn’t too worried about Max finding out, as he had no idea that I even blogged at Single Wide Female. Still, I decided not to use his name, or even his gender.
As I wrote out my intentions, I could feel myself getting more and more motivated to make it happen. By the time I was finished, I decided that I needed to get to class early. I was excited about learning some new actual swimming techniques.
I was the first to arrive.
“Wow, you’re early, Samantha.” Mira looked around the deck. I guessed that she was checking for pool noodles.
“I’m just excited.”
“Well, let me show you a few things that you can try.” Mira jumped into the pool. I followed after her.
“Now the best technique for you is probably going to be the crawl.” She showed me how to swing my arms through the water with my hands cupped. I didn’t wait for her to tell me anything else.
“I can do that!” I began eagerly splashing my cupped hands into the water.
“Wait, Samantha—”
I splashed myself in the face several times. Once I was done sputtering, Mira grinned at me. I could tell that she was trying not to laugh.
“Even when you want to swim fast, Samantha, you have to find a rhythm. If you lose that rhythm, it’s going to be difficult to keep your head above water. It’s as much about timing as it is about strength.”
As I tried again the rest of the class arrived. Mira walked each of them through the technique. Even though I’d started early, by the end of class I still couldn’t get the hang of it.
“Too much splashing, Samantha. It’s a fluid movement. Smooth and steady.” Mira showed me for what felt like the millionth time.
I was so frustrated that I might as well have been punching the water. Everyone else in the class seemed to be getting the hang of it.
After everyone left, I decided to keep trying. The pool was completely empty. Isaac wasn’t even at his post. I floated for some time on my stomach. I knew that the problem was that I wasn’t in tune with my own body. Under the water I felt the pounding of my heartbeat. I felt the strength of my muscles. I began to time the strokes of my arms with the beats of my heart. Then after two strokes I turned my head and took a breath.
To my amazement, I was soon in a steady pattern that was coasting me across the pool. It felt as if I was flying—if that was possible in the water. When I reached the edge of the pool, I decided to rest for a moment.
“What are you still doing here?” Isaac placed his hands on his perfectly sculpted hips and stared down at me. I looked up along the path of his washboard abs, his muscular chest, and the gorgeous sprawl of his collarbone. I did my best to keep my saliva from escaping my lips.
“Just getting in a little extra practice.” I brushed my hair back from my eyes so that I could have a clearer view. “Mira said it was okay.”
“You shouldn’t be in the pool if there isn’t a lifeguard.” He frowned as he continued to stare down at me.
“The sign says swim at your own risk if the lifeguard is not on duty. It doesn’t say I can’t swim.”
“I’m not talking about a sign. I don’t want to see you get hurt, Samantha. Why are you so determined to practice?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Get out of the water.”
I looked at him with some confusion. I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me or if he was just trying to boss me around.
“I’m allowed to swim.”
“Fine, of course you are, but I want to take you out. So get out of the water.” He smiled.
His arrogant nature combined with his pleasant smile confused me even more. “Take me out where?”
“For a drink.” He offered me his hand to help pull me out of the water. The very idea of letting him tug me out of the water was repulsive to me.
“Okay. Maybe you should ask me first.” I swam back from the wall.
He looked up at the ceiling for a moment and then looked back at me. “Samantha, would you like to go out for a drink with me?”
I knew that I should decline. There was no way that he actually wanted to date me. But he looked too beautiful to resist. What could it hurt? I could use a drink.
“Alright. I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”
I watched as he walked away from the pool. Once I was sure he wasn’t looking, I climbed out.
Chapter 7
Around the corner from the gym was a small bar. Isaac and I walked there. My hair was still damp and I had no idea why he was so determined to share a drink with me, but I was not about to complain. Once we had ordered our drinks, he turned to look at me.
“So tell me the truth. Why are you really so worried about being a good swimmer?”
“I just don’t want to drown.”
“Hm—I’m not buying it.” He laughed. “The way that you practice after class makes it pretty clear that you have a bigger reason than that for swimming.”
“Okay. Well, the truth is my best friend challenged me to a race. I want to win.” I shrugged. “I’m not sure that it’s possible, since he’s a lot more experienced than me, but I want to try.”
“Oh wait, your best friend is a man?” He lifted an eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“There’s no way that you can lose, then.”
“Why would you say that?”
“If you find that you’re losing, there’s only one thing you have to do.” He leaned forward and whispered in my ear.
I listened to what he said and my eyes widened with every word he spoke. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that.”
“I’m just letting you know how to win.” He grinned as he sat back in his chair. “Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, Samantha. How badly do you want to win?”
He winked at me.
I swallowed the remainder of my drink. “So while we’re telling the truth, why did you ask me out for a drink?”
“To be honest, I was impressed with how determined you were and I wanted to get to know you a little better.” He shrugged. “Is that a good enough reason?”
“I guess.” I laughed. I hadn’t really thought about having another man as a friend. It seemed lately I was starting a collection. “Thanks.”
“I hope we can do it again some time. Maybe to celebrate—when you win that race.”
“I’m not doing that!” The move he’d described to me was just a bit underhanded.
“We’ll see.” He chuckled.
That night I was so exhausted I fell asleep right away. When I woke up the next morning I decided to check for blog comments. I was secretly hoping that I would hear from Blue. His comments hadn’t been as frequent lately. I tried not to take it personally, but I wondered if he was losing interest. As soon as I opened the admin area of my blog, I saw a message from him.
SWF,
I have no doubt that you can do anything that you put your mind to. Don’
t forget to have fun!
Blue
As usual his words were just what I needed to hear. I’d been so focused on racing I wasn’t even really enjoying my class.
Determined to have some fun, I got dressed and headed out to class. When I walked through the door of the pool area I noticed that no one was in the water. All of my classmates were sitting on the side of the pool. I thought this was a little strange since usually we started out in the water.
As I walked up to the group, I saw that Isaac was standing with the teacher. I grimaced as I remembered how much I had shared with him the night before. A little too much wine and I apparently would share my life story with a complete stranger. I’d hoped that maybe he wouldn’t be on duty, but there he was, as if he was waiting for me.
“Samantha.” Mira smiled. “We were all waiting for you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I late?” I frowned.
“No, you’re not late. It’s just that Isaac has an idea and we wanted to see what you thought.”
I could barely look Isaac in the eye. “Oh really?”
“Yes, I told them about the race that you have planned for the end of the swim class.” Isaac tried to catch my eyes. “I didn’t think that it would be too much of an issue for you if I shared that.”
I stared at him for a moment. Then I looked at all of the smiling faces around me. “What did you share exactly?”
“Just that you and your friend are going to race—and we all want to help you win.” Isaac’s smile was so wide that it looked like he was quite pleased with himself.
“Okay.” I was still stunned that Isaac had even spoken to me, let alone rallied my entire class to help me win a race. “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure how I felt just yet, but I didn’t want to disappoint the others. They were all looking at me with eager smiles.
“Team Samantha!” April threw her fist in the air. The rest of the class followed suit. I laughed. I expected to be embarrassed by all of the attention but I really wasn’t. I was happy that they were going to support me and that I didn’t have to keep my goal a secret.
“Thanks, guys. This is great. I don’t know if I can beat him, but I’m certainly going to try.”
Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) Page 58
