A Thousand Boy Kisses

by Tillie Cole

  My heart tore when I knew what she was thinking. She was trying to assess how much time she had left. And if she would make it. If she would live to see her few remaining wishes come true.

  “They think about a week, if that.”

  This time, there was no masking the utter happiness radiating from her wide smile. She closed her eyes. “I can make it that long,” she stated confidently, and held my hand just that little bit tighter.

  “You’ll last longer,” I promised and watched as Poppy nodded.

  “To one thousand boy-kisses,” she agreed.

  Stroking my hand down her cheek, I said, “Then I’ll draw them out.”

  “Yes,” Poppy smiled. “For infinity.”

  * * *

  Poppy was discharged from hospital a week later. The true extent of how much the infection had affected her had become apparent after a few days. Poppy couldn’t walk. She’d lost all strength in her legs. Her doctor informed us that if her cancer had been cured, over time she would have recovered that strength. But, as things were, she would never walk again.

  Poppy was in a wheelchair. And, being Poppy, she didn’t it let affect her one bit. “As long as I can still go outside and feel the sun on my face, I’ll be happy,” she said when her doctor had told her the bad news. She looked up at me and added, “As long as I can still hold Rune’s hand, I really don’t care if I ever walk again.”

  And just like that, she melted me where I stood.

  Clutching the new photos in my hand, I ran across the grass between our two houses to Poppy’s window. As I climbed through, I saw she was asleep on her bed.

  She had been brought home just that day. She was tired, but I had to show her this. It was my surprise. My welcome home.

  One of her wishes come true.

  As I entered the room, Poppy’s eyes blinked open and a smile graced her lips. “The bed was cold without you,” she said and ran her hand over the side where I usually lay.

  “I had to get something for you,” I said, sitting down on the bed. Leaning over, I kissed her lips. I kissed her deeply, smiling as her cheeks flushed in the aftermath. Leaning over, Poppy took a blank paper heart from her jar and scribbled something down.

  I stared at the almost-full jar as she dropped the heart inside.

  We were nearly there.

  Turning back, Poppy shifted to a sitting position. “What’s in your hand?” she asked, excitement in her voice.

  “Photos,” I announced, and watched as her face lit with happiness.

  “My favorite gift,” she said, and I knew that she meant every word. “Your magical captured moments.”

  I handed over the envelope; Poppy opened it. She gasped when her eyes fell on the subject. She searched through every photo with excitement, then turned to me with hopeful eyes. “First bloom?”

  I smiled back and nodded. Poppy placed her hand over her mouth and her eyes shone with happiness. “When were these taken?”

  “A few days ago,” I replied and watched her hand drop and her lips curve into a smile.

  “Rune,” she whispered and reached for my hand. She brought it to my face. “That means…”

  I stood up.

  Moving to her side of the bed, I scooped her up in my arms. Poppy’s hands went around my neck, and I lowered my lips to hers. When I pulled back, I asked, “Are you with me?”

  Sighing happily, she replied, “I’m with you.”

  I placed her gently in her wheelchair, pulled the blanket over her legs and moved to the handles. Poppy tipped her head back as I was about to push her into the hallway. I looked down at her.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  I kissed her upturned mouth. “Let’s go.”

  Poppy’s infectious giggles echoed through the house as I pushed her down the hallway and out into the fresh air. I carried her down the steps. Once she was safely back in her chair, I pushed her over the grass toward the grove. The weather was warm, the sun shining down from a clear sky.

  Poppy tipped her head back to soak in the warmth of the sun, her cheeks filling with life as she did. When Poppy’s eyes opened, I knew she had smelled the scent before she’d even seen the grove. “Rune,” she said as she gripped the arms of the wheelchair.

  My heart beat faster and faster as we drew closer. Then, as we turned the corner and the blossom grove came into view, I held my breath.

  A loud gasp slipped from Poppy’s mouth. Taking my camera from around my neck, I walked out to stand by her side until I had the perfect view of her face. Poppy didn’t even notice me pressing the button over and over; she was too lost in the beauty before her. Too mesmerized as she reached up her hand and delicately stroked a feather-light touch along a freshly born petal. Then she dropped her head back, eyes closed, arms in the air, as her laughter rang out around the grove.

  I held the camera, braced on the button for the moment I prayed would follow next. And then it came. Poppy opened her eyes, completely enraptured by this moment, and then looked at me. My finger pressed down—her smiling face was alive with life, the backdrop a sea of pink and white.

  Poppy’s hands slowly lowered and her smile softened as she stared at me. I lowered the camera as I returned that stare, the cherry blossoms full and vibrant around where she sat—her symbolic halo. Then it hit me. Poppy, Poppymin, she was the cherry blossom.

  She was my cherry blossom.

  An unrivaled beauty, limited in its life. A beauty so extreme in its grace that it can’t last. It stays to enrich our lives, then drifts away in the wind. Never forgotten. Because it reminds us we must live. That life is fragile, yet in that fragility, there is strength. There is love. There is purpose. It reminds us that life is short, that our breaths are numbered and our destiny is fixed, regardless of how hard we fight.

  It reminds us not to waste a single second. Live hard, love harder. Chase dreams, seek adventures … capture moments.

  Live beautifully.

  I swallowed as these thoughts swirled in my mind. Then Poppy held out her hand. “Take me through the grove, baby,” she asked softly. “I want to experience this with you.”

  Lowering the camera to rest around my neck, I moved behind her wheelchair and pushed her along the dried dirt path. Poppy breathed in, slow and measured. The girl that I loved drank it all in. The beauty of this moment. A wish fulfilled.

  Arriving at our tree, its branches bustling with pastel pinks, I took a blanket from the back of her chair and placed it on the ground. I lifted Poppy into my arms and set us down beneath our tree, the view of the grove spread before us.

  Poppy laid her back against my chest. And she sighed, she held my hand that lay over her stomach, and she whispered, “We made it.”

  Shifting her hair from her neck, I placed a kiss on her warm skin. “We did, baby.”

  She paused for a minute. “It’s like a dream … it’s like a painting. I want heaven to look exactly like this.”

  Instead of feeling hurt or sad at her comment, I instead found myself wanting it for Poppy. Wanting so badly for her to have this, forever.

  I could see how tired she was. I could see that she was in pain. She never said so, but she didn’t need to. She spoke to me without words.

  And I knew. I knew she was staying until I was ready to let her go.

  “Rune?” Poppy’s voice pulled me around. Leaning back against the tree, I lifted Poppy to lie over my legs so I could see her. So I could commit to memory every single second of this day.

  “Ja?” I answered and ran my fingers down her face. Her forehead was lined with worry. I sat a little straighter.

  Poppy took a deep breath, and said, “What if I forget?”

  My heart cracked right down the center as I watched fear cross her face. Poppy didn’t feel fear. But she did about this.

  “Forget what, baby?”

  “Everything,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “You, my family … all the kisses. The kisses I want to relive until I get you back again one da
y.”

  Forcing myself to stay strong, I assured her, “You won’t.”

  Poppy glanced away. “I once read that souls forget their life on Earth when they pass. That they have to forget or else they would never be able to move on, to be at peace in heaven.” Her finger began tracing patterns on my fingers. “But I don’t want that,” she added, almost inaudibly. “I want to remember everything.”

  Looking up at me, she said with tears in her eyes, “I never want to forget you. I need you with me, always. I want to watch you live your life. The exciting life I know you’ll have. I want to see the pictures you’ll take.” She swallowed. “But most of all, I want my thousand kisses. I never want to forget what we shared. I want to remember them always.”

  “Then I’ll find a way for you to see them,” I said, and with the breeze that wrapped around us, Poppy’s sadness floated away.

  “You will?” she whispered, hope clear in her gentle voice.

  I nodded. “I promise. I don’t know how, but I will. Nothing, not even God, will stop me.”

  “As I wait in our grove,” she said, with a dreamy, distant smile.

  “Ja.”

  Settling back down in my arms, Poppy whispered, “That’ll be nice.” Tipping her head, she said, “But wait a year.”

  “A year?”

  Poppy nodded her head. “I read it takes a soul a year to pass on. I don’t know if that’s true, but in case it is, wait a year to remind me of our kisses. I don’t want to miss it … whatever you do.”

  “Okay,” I agreed, but I had to stop talking. I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t fall apart.

  Birds flew from tree to tree, becoming lost from view in the blossom. Clasping our hands together, Poppy said, “You gave me this, Rune. You gave me this wish.”

  I couldn’t respond. My breathing hitched as she spoke. I wrapped her tighter in my arms, then with my finger under her chin, brought her to my mouth. The sweetness was still there on her soft lips. When I drew back, she kept her eyes closed, and said, “Kiss nine hundred and thirty-four. In the blossom grove with the blossoms full. With my Rune … my heart almost burst.”

  I smiled. As I did, I felt an ache of happiness for my girl. We were almost there. The end of her adventure was in sight.

  “Rune?” Poppy called.

  “Mm?” I replied.

  “You’ve stopped smoking.”

  Exhaling, I answered, “Ja.”

  “Why?”

  Pausing to compose my answer, I admitted, “Someone I love taught me life is precious. She taught me not to do anything to jeopardize the adventure. And I listened.”

  “Rune,” Poppy said, a catch in her throat. “It is precious,” she whispered, “so very precious. Don’t waste one single second of it.”

  Poppy lazed against me, watching the beauty of the grove. As she inhaled a deep breath, she quietly confided, “I don’t think I’ll see prom, Rune.” My body stilled. “I’m feeling real tired.” She tried to hold onto me tightly, and she repeated, “Real tired.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled her close. “Miracles can happen, baby,” I replied.

  “Yes,” Poppy said breathlessly, “they can.” She brought my hand up to her mouth and kissed each of my fingers. “I would have loved to have seen you in a tux. And I would have loved to dance with you, under the lights, to a song that made me think of you and me.”

  Feeling Poppy begin to tire in my arms, I held back the pain this image conjured up and said, “Let’s get you home, baby.”

  As I went to stand, Poppy reached for my hand. I glanced down. “You’ll stay by my side, won’t you?”

  Crouching down, I cupped her cheeks. “Forever.”

  “Good,” she whispered. “I’m not quite ready to let you go, not just yet.”

  As I pushed her home, I sent a silent prayer to God, asking Him to give her just two more weeks. He could bring my girl home after that; she was ready, I’d be ready. Just after I gave her all her dreams.

  Just let me give her this final wish.

  I had to.

  It was my final thank-you for all the love she’d given me.

  It was the only gift I could give.

  Poppy

  Two weeks later

  I sat in my chair, in my mama’s bathroom, as my mama coated my lashes with mascara. I watched her like I’d never watched her before. She smiled. I watched, making sure I had etched every part of her face in my memory.

  The truth was, I was fading. I knew it. I think deep down we all knew it. Every morning that I woke, Rune curled by my side, I felt just a little more tired, just a little weaker.

  But in my heart, I felt strong. I could hear the call from home getting stronger. I could feel the peace of its calling flow through me, minute by minute.

  And I was almost ready.

  As I watched my family over the past few days, I knew they would be fine. My sisters were happy and strong, and my parents loved them fiercely, so I knew they would be okay.

  And Rune. My Rune, the person I found it hardest to leave … he had grown. He had not yet realized that he was no longer the moody, broken boy who had returned from Norway.

  He was vibrant.

  He smiled.

  He was taking pictures again.

  But better still, he loved me openly. The boy who’d returned hid behind a wall of darkness. Not anymore; his heart was open. And because of that, he had let in light to his soul.

  He would be okay.

  Mama went to the closet. When she returned to the bathroom, she was holding out a beautiful white dress. Reaching out, I ran my hand down the material. “It’s beautiful,” I said and smiled up at her.

  “Let’s get it on you, shall we?”

  I blinked, confused. “Why, Mama? What’s happening?”

  Mama batted her hand in dismissal. “Enough with the questions, baby girl.” She helped me dress, slipping white shoes onto my feet.

  The sound of the bedroom door opening made me look around. When I did, my aunt DeeDee stood in the doorway, her hand upon her chest.

  “Poppy,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “You look beautiful.”

  DeeDee glanced over to my mama and held out her hand. My mama held her sister, and they stood there, looking at me. Smiling at the look on their faces, I asked, “Can I see?”

  My mama pushed my chair in front of the mirror, and I stilled at the sight of my reflection. The dress looked so pretty, prettier than I could have imagined. And my hair … my hair was pulled to the side in a low bun, my favorite white bow pinned in place above it.

  As always, my infinity earrings stood out, loud and proud.

  I ran my hands down the dress. “I don’t understand … it looks like I’m dressed for prom—”

  My eyes darted to my mama and DeeDee in the mirror. My heart lost control of its beat. “Mama?” I asked. “Am I? But it’s not for two weeks! How—”

  My question was cut short by the ringing of the doorbell. Mama and DeeDee looked at one another, and Mama ordered, “DeeDee, you go answer the door.”

  DeeDee went to move, but Mama held out her hand and stopped her with a hand on her arm. “No, wait, you take the chair, I have to carry Poppy down the stairs.”

  Mama lifted me onto her bed. DeeDee left the room, and I heard my daddy’s voice downstairs, muffled with others. Thoughts were scrambling through my head, but I dared not get my hopes up. Yet I wanted so badly for those hopes to come true.

  “You ready, baby?” my mama asked.

  “Yes,” I replied breathlessly.

  I hung on to my mama as we walked down the stairs and made for the front door. As we rounded the corner, my daddy and my sisters, who were all gathered in the hall, all looked my way.

  Then, although I felt weak, my mama brought me to the door. There, leaning against the doorway, was Rune. He had a spray of cherry blossoms in his hand … and he was wearing a tux.

  My heart splintered with light.

  He was giving me my wish.
>
  As soon as our eyes met, Rune straightened. I watched him swallow as my mama placed me in my chair. When she stepped away, Rune crouched down, not caring who else was there, and whispered, “Poppymin.” My breathing paused, when he added, “You look so beautiful.”

  Reaching out my hand, I tugged on the bottom of his blond hair. “It’s combed back so I can see your handsome face. And you’re wearing a tux.”

  A crooked smile pulled on his mouth. “I told you I would,” he replied.

  Rune took my hand and, as gently as he could, pushed my corsage onto my wrist. I ran my hand over the blossom leaves. I couldn’t help but smile.

  Looking up into Rune’s blue eyes, I asked, “Is this real?”

  Leaning forward, he kissed me and whispered, “You’re going to prom.”

  A tear escaped my eye, blurring my vision. I watched Rune’s face drop, but I laughed and told him, “They’re good tears, baby. I’m just so happy.”

  Rune swallowed and I reached out and touched his face. “You’ve made me so impossibly happy.”

  I hoped he heard the deeper meaning of those words. Because I didn’t just mean tonight. It meant he had always made me the happiest girl on the planet. He had to know.

  He had to have felt the truth of that fact.

  Rune lifted my hand and kissed it. “You’ve made me so damn happy too.”

  And I knew he’d understood.

  The sound of my daddy’s voice unlocked our stare. “Right, kids, you’d better get going.” I caught the gruffness in my daddy’s tone. I knew he wanted us gone because it was all too much for him to handle.

  Rune stood and moved around to the back of my chair. “You ready, baby?”

  “Yes,” I replied confidently.

  All of the weakness I had felt vanished in an instant. Because Rune had somehow made this wish come true for me.

  I wasn’t going to waste a single second.

  Rune pushed me to my mama’s car. He lifted me from the wheelchair and placed me on the front seat. I was smiling so big. In fact, I never stopped smiling during the entire drive.

  When we pulled up at the school, I heard the music from inside drifting out into the night. I closed my eyes, savoring every image: the parade of limos arriving one after the other, the students dressed so smartly, all entering the school gym.