The Ways of Eternity

by D.A. Dean

Chapter 3: Horus' Vow

  "Quit dawdling, Horus." Midway along the trail back to the clearing, Teo sheathed his knife and transferred the baskets of food, sent from Isis' priestesses, from Horus' hands to his own. "You did well, carrying them this far."

  Horus stretched the ache from his shoulders and then trotted along beside him. "Did you notice if there was any honey bread?"

  Teo rolled his eyes. "I had other things on my mind. And, no, we're not stopping here so you can find out."

  They entered the clearing's circle. Nalia wasn't by the fire. She must be in the hut. Horus suppressed his sigh. Teo would take the cue and order him to sleep inside, as well, something he heartily disliked. Still, a good meal awaited him first.

  Horus grabbed two baskets from Teo, shuffled to the grey stone table, and, with a grunt, deposited them. He made a quick search of the baskets' contents, his disappointment at the absence of sweetened loaves tempered by the inclusion of pears among the fruit. "Hungry?"

  "I'll wait for Mother. You go ahead."

  "She's still awake, you think? Good. I have more questions."

  Teo chuckled. "What a surprise."

  Ignoring Teo's teasing, Horus asked, "Where is she?"

  Teo inclined his head, and Horus turned.

  Chanting softly, Nalia wound her way from the grasses toward the hut, the yellow of its bamboo sides and deep green of its freshly-thatched palm-frond roof framed by sloping hills and midnight sky. She entered the hut and quickly closed its door behind her.

  Horus sniffed. Yes, the strange bitter-sweet, smoky smell. He turned back to Teo. "What's she do in there?"

  "We've had that conversation."

  "But you never told me."

  "So why don't you go in and find out for yourself?"

  Horus' eyes widened.

  "Then quit asking me."

  "Yeah, fine." Horus selected his meal. Surprised to discover he was ravenously hungry, he devoured a large hunk of bread and several handfuls of palm nuts. Coughing, he turned his head against the mix of acrid and woody scents that drifted from the hut with Nalia's emerging.

  Silent and somber, Nalia paced the clearing's circle, something he remembered her doing only twice before.

  Teo hesitated a moment before joining her. "Did you learn anything?"

  "Yes. He's beginning to feel hints of his power."

  "Things are about to get interesting."

  "Indeed," Nalia answered, smiled cryptically, and went to the table.

  Horus waited. "Are you going to tell me? Or am I still consigned to overhearing?"

  Hiding her quick smile, Nalia pulled from the baskets a pot of milky cheese and three small round loaves of bread. She offered him a pear.

  Horus crossed his arms. "No, thank you. My mother's spoken to you, I gather." Aware an unpleasant tone had crept into his voice, he angled away, cheeks burning, and stared off at the hills, their night-darkened green further obscured by a rising blue-grey mist.

  Isis had been gone so long. Horus brushed at his nose. So many times he'd tried to talk to her. She never answered. Yet, she answered Nalia. Did Isis expect him, like Nalia, to perform rituals of obeisance? Maybe instead of a son, she wanted another follower. His frown deepened.

  Nalia twisted the pear's stem, twirling it between her fingers before letting it slip to the ground.

  Well, if his mother and Nalia wanted to indulge themselves with ceremonies and secrets, let them. Sulkily, he moved away.

  "Your father is alive," Nalia said evenly.

  Horus missed a step, tripped, and halted. Alive?

  A pale-grey egret cocked its head, stretched its long neck, and bobbled closer.

  Slowly, Horus turned. How was it possible? Even with Isis' great magic?

  The egret shook its wings and ascended to the kite circling gracefully above them.

  Alive. The implications swept forward and crested in Horus' mind. Everything would be alright now. His father would come to him, hold out his arms, and, saying, 'Son, Son', encircle him in love and protection. Yes, Osiris would chase Seht away and restore himself to his throne. Teo and Nalia would be safe. Then Isis would return, kissing Horus' cheek before taking her place as co-regent.

  Horus would be free to experience the pleasures of a childhood unencumbered by fear. Instead of practicing maneuvers, he and Teo would play. Instead of chanting spells, he and Nalia would create stories. He would be, simply, a boy. It was perfect. He blinked, his brows knitting.

  Why was Nalia telling him instead of Isis? Absently, he flicked a basket's handle. "How soon can I see him?"

  Nalia touched his cheek. Gently, she said, "He can't come to you. Your father is alive but not restored. No one knows if he'll ever be."

  Horus took a hard step back. "Then why tell me?" he shouted and turned, his shoulders curving in and beginning to shake. "Why give me the moment of hope?"

  No, Nalia hadn't intended to be cruel. Often enough, in numerous ways, she'd spoken of the differences between being alive—existing—and living. And the fact Osiris wasn't dead was reason to rejoice. That his state didn't allow him to fulfill Horus' fantasy didn't diminish the amazing feat Isis had accomplished.

  Chastened, Horus turned. "I should have understood. I do now. I'm sorry I shouted. Especially for the reason I did, feeling sorry for myself. If I should feel sorry for anyone it's Mother and Father. But they wouldn't want that. Even if, as you say, he might never be restored, he exists, they're together, and, one day, maybe I'll know him, too."

  Teo, who'd joined them at the table, spread his hand over his mouth. Through his fingers, he murmured, "Not only is he thinking things through, he's doing it fast. And—"

  "Sh," Nalia interrupted. Gazing at Horus intently, she gave a shallow nod. "Well done, Horus," she praised then, with greater focus than the task required, she filled a small basket. "Come with me," she instructed, moving toward her mat. "There's another matter."

  Horus dropped beside her.

  "A moment ago, you were shining again—"

  "Just now? Why didn't you say? I have to stop doing it. Teach me how."

  Nalia tilted her head. "I know of no way to stop its happening. Why do you wish to do so?

  "Isn't there a chance Seht could see it?"

  "Ah. A good question."

  "Please, Nalia. Later, you can tell me that was a good leap of logic, but not now. I'm asking you to answer."

  "The light of your shining is contained. It won't signal Seht."

  Relieved, Horus exhaled and leaned back. "Alright. The lesson part. You're going to ask me why I thought he'd see. Well, Mother won't talk to me because I don't know how to hold the energy talking from a distance creates. It seems to me shining has to do with energy, too. Therefore."

  "Well reasoned."

  Horus gave his head a quick, sideways tip. "Thanks. So, what 'contains' it?"

  "Your power. Do you understand why you shine?"

  Not sure he wanted to, Horus crossed up his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. "Just something gods do."

  "Yes, but not like you did. I've never seen such a shining." Quietly, Nalia added, "Even from your mother."

  Horus glanced at Teo, who'd inhaled sharply. He returned his gaze to the fire. It had been a long time since Nalia had seen Isis. She just didn't remember how brightly Isis could shine. Satisfied with his explanation, he scooped a handful of nuts from the basket.

  As if reading his thoughts, Nalia said, "I recall vividly your mother's shining. Her counselor's, as well, on the one occasion I glimpsed him. Yours is more brilliant."

  Horus shrugged against his rising unease. "So you think that means I'll have a lot of abilities. I think I just don't know how to control it yet. You haven't seen anyone else shine like that because they know how to hide it."

  Nalia replied, "I know you don't want to accept this, but at some point you must realize you are special."

&nbs
p; Horus' brow furrowed, his uneasiness building. He fished around the basket and found a pear, its skin a pleasant yellow-green. "I just think what might be and what really is are two different things." He took a bite. Juice covered and dripped from his palm. "Ahm," he sucked the pear and then the side of his hand, "good. Messy."

  "You're resisting accepting what you know inside you is true. Do you know why?"

  "Because—mm," Horus pressed his lips together. He'd finally found a sense of belonging, and he didn't want to diminish it. He lifted a shoulder. "I do, but I'd rather not say. Tell me what my shining means. Please," he added.

  "Your shining is a reflected manifestation of your true self and an indication of your potential. Your light is so bright because you hold nothing to dilute it."

  Horus accepted Nalia believed what she'd said, but how could she know? "Mother told you."

  "Yes. She appeared to me in a golden glow of light, her white gown shining like a star, her long black hair loose and flowing over her shoulders, a sash of braided silver at her waist, a necklace of deepest blue and softest green and liquid silver at her throat. Silver encircled both her wrists, and sandals of silver reed were on her feet. Her eyes gleamed, and her skin was like alabaster, white and shimmering."

  Yes, just as Horus remembered her. He laid back, finding comfort in the easy flow of Nalia's words.

  "She held her arms out from her sides in a gesture of grace and welcome and bid me to sit. As she spoke, her gown moved as if by a temperate breeze. She told me to listen, to hear her words and understand. Then she smiled, her light, gentle smile of pleasure. She told me she had a great message to give about your path to Becoming. She spoke of your shining, as well as the power behind it."

  So, perhaps, his shining could provide an additional, indirect, means of protecting Nalia and Teo. Horus sat. "What power?" Impatient with Nalia's technique, he drummed his fingers against the dirt. "Maddening," he muttered.

  Nalia flashed Teo a smile. "Turn your mind to it."

  "Give me a hint?" Horus asked, raising one eyebrow and lowering the other. "Please?"

  "He's learning how to wheedle," Teo said, aside, to Nalia, and grinned.

  "I wasn't asking you, Teo. I don't know, Nalia."

  Nalia said, "When you shine, you're beyond this world."

  "That's it? That's the hint? Ah, don't give me a hard time, Teo. Okay. Let me think." Horus flopped back and scratched his stomach. "Shining has to do with energy. So, it means—wait. If it's 'beyond this world', it could hurt you or Teo. I have to find a way to end its happening."

  "That's neither necessary nor possible."

  "But the risk is too high."

  "Hear me. You'll learn how to harness and direct it. She said you'll be a great—" Nalia stopped.

  Horus looked up at her through his hair. "Ye-es?"

  Teo leaned toward him and whispered, "Your mother's a powerful healer. You're her son. You figure it out."

  So, Horus could become a warrior, wielding Osiris' sword, and a healer, wielding the power of his own shining? He tapped his legs. Then why had Nalia and Teo been worried?

  Unbidden, the vision began. Sorrow, beyond any Horus could have imagined, ripped through him. A sound he didn't recognize filled his ears. Sweat and blood saturated his senses. He saw himself on a rocky field, his mother, Nalia, and two beings he didn't know, one bound, beside him. He saw himself kneeling, sobbing over a still body, blood pooled around it. The loss, oh, the loss. He saw himself bend low, trying to heal the small wound between the man's ribs. Heard himself scream in agony at his failure.

  "No, no," Horus moaned, rubbing his eyes, desperate for the vision to end. The images dissipated. Trembling, he wrapped his arms around himself.

  "Another vision? Um, should I go?" Teo asked, glanced at his mother, and stood.

  "No, don't leave," Horus pleaded, the thought of Teo's absence making worse the feelings, still lingering. "Please, say you'll stay."

  Teo lowered beside him. "Of course I will. For as long as you want."

  "Forever would be good," Horus replied. The realization took hold. He would live on, would continue for millennia, but Teo and Nalia, his beloved Teo and Nalia—they would not.

  Sick with rage and grief, Horus sprang to his feet and doubled over, one arm fastened around his side, the other his head. All around him fell to grey. He would continue on, vital and shining, to watch his loved ones wither and pass. He would one day see them die. Anguish building, he sank to his knees, moan becoming scream.

  Teo clapped his hands over his ears. "Stop," he ordered. "Horus, stop."

  But he couldn't. The vision resumed. Horus' throat closed, halting his scream. Again, he saw the body. The legs, torso, shoulders—no, he wouldn't let himself see the face. The hair, lips...the unblinking green-flecked eyes. Teo.

  Horus thrust his hands to his eyes.

  "Horus, no!" Nalia commanded, grabbing his wrists. "Help me, Teo," she said urgently. "He'll blind himself."

  Teo knocked Horus back and pinned his arms at his sides.

  Horus closed his eyes so tightly it was as if moonless night fell to unending darkness.

  "Horus, look at me," Nalia said, her breath on his cheek, her hair touching his neck. "What did you see?"

  "It wasn't real." Horus began to struggle.

  "Be still," Teo ordered, pressing Horus' shoulders harder against the grass. "Tell us."

  "It wasn't real!" Horus inhaled slowly, working to regain self-control. Feigning calm, he said, "I'm okay now. You can let go." He sat and drew his knees to his chest.

  Nalia and Teo were silent.

  Could he have seen what was to come? Horus looked up at Teo, and, unable to stop himself, gave a single sob.

  Teo's face paled. "It was about me. You saw how I die. Didn't you?"

  "No. It wasn't real. Please, stop staring at me."

  Hand to her lips, Nalia gazed at her son. She lowered beside Horus and drew him closer.

  "Oh, Nalia, I can't bear this. I didn't understand humans—" he stopped, unwilling to speak it aloud.

  Nalia nodded as if to herself. "Humans are mortal. What you realized is correct. You'll continue on, as do those of your kind. Teo and I will die. Humans pass away to dust, and someday we will, too. Someday our energy will scatter to go on to something else. It's the natural order."

  "Even if I find a way to protect you from Seht, I'll lose you. That's what you're saying. And I'm supposed to accept that. Well, I don't. I refuse. I won't let you and Teo die," Horus said against her shoulder. Nalia stiffened, and he lifted his head. "Look into my eyes. I'll do whatever I have to do, make whatever sacrifice I—"

  "Stop." Jaw angled, Teo paced toward him. "You can't say things like this."

  Why was Teo fighting him? Horus cocked his head. "I'm a god, right? I can say whatever I want."

  "No," Teo said, expression hardening, "this is—"

  "No?" A deep-seated spark within Horus flared.

  Teo swallowed hard and took a step back.

  Hurt, Horus crossed his arms. "Why're you frightened, Teo?" he asked harshly. "I thought I was your little—" he stopped, afraid to chance Teo's taking it back.

  "Horus," Nalia said and paused before turning his face toward hers. "It's never been done. It's never even been spoken of...because it can't be."

  "If no one's tried, how do you know I can't do it?" Horus asked quietly.

  Teo knelt beside him. "It can't be," he said gently. "And you have to see the larger issue. We won't be around forever. You're going to face battles, physical and emotional, and you'll have to keep focus. Even when humans die. Even," he paused, exhaling slowly, "when I die."

  Forcing away the returning images, Horus grasped Teo's knee. "I can't just let—"

  "Let me finish. For us, it's not our deaths that matter but how we live. When the moment comes," Teo paused and ducked his head. "Horus,
look at me. When the moment comes, I'll die knowing I lived with integrity and honor, knowing I served, felt joy, and knew love. It'd be good to know I scattered a few demons before I went, but we'll have to wait and see on that. Anyway, I've had a good life, and I'm grateful for all I've experienced. So let's be glad of the time we have. The time we have together."

  "I am grateful for that," Horus answered. But within him, he vowed to find a way to change their fates. If only to let them continue, to evolve, till they could be together with him in eternity.

  What he saw in his vision wasn't real until it happened. The field he saw wasn't on the island, surely. And when he, Teo, and Nalia entered it, Horus would be ready to defeat Seht. Once he'd eliminated the danger Seht posed, he'd have more time to discover and build the magic needed to create for them immortality. Resolved, he lifted his chin. "Tomorrow, you'll train me, both of you, and I'll do whatever you teach me."

  Teo's eyebrows lifted high. He nodded warily. "Right. Good." He glanced at Nalia and then slipped off and began gathering dried reed for the fire, one of Horus' chores.

  Nalia's gaze followed her son into the distance. Quietly, she noted, "Your visions are getting stronger."

  "That doesn't mean they're true."

  "You must learn to heed them. What you saw—"

  "What I saw doesn't matter. I won't let it happen."

  "I see." Posture relaxed, Nalia angled toward Horus. Watching him closely, she asked, "You believe you can change what's to come? You believe you can create your own future?"

  "If I'm to have the level of powers you seem to think I will, who's to say I can't change what I see in the visions?" Horus lifted his gaze to the star-flecked sky. "The moon's beautiful tonight."

  "I understand you don't want to talk about this, but there's more still to consider."

  He returned his gaze to hers.

  "Indeed, your powers will become great, yet they will have limits. We all have our own destinies. Would you force on another the future you'd create? If you'd have choice, you must grant it to others, as well. If you're to become who you'll be, you must understand this."

  Teo returned, arms full. He stacked the fuel and bent to the work of replenishing their small fire.

  Exhaustion overtaking him, Horus crawled to his mat and curled up, Teo and Nalia soon joining him. "Goodnight." And then, understanding now what it meant, he said for the first time, "I love you."

  "I," Teo paused and cleared his throat, "love you, too."

  Nalia kissed Horus' cheek. "I love you. Sleep well."

  "Yeah, well." Why was the night so bright? Horus angled his arm over his face. The thin grey clouds covering the moon drifted away, and its light intensified. He yanked himself up and slapped his hands against his mat.

  "What is it?" Nalia asked and tapped Horus' arm.

  "Don't." Horus felt prickly all over.

  "What's wrong with you?" Teo asked testily, shoving at Horus' elbow.

  "Stop it," Horus said and jerked away. "Sorry," he muttered. "You two go to sleep. I'm going to sit here and watch the fire. Please, I can't talk anymore right now."

  Nalia nodded to Teo, and they lay back.

  Horus stared into the flickering yellow, red, and orange flames. His head hurt. Why wouldn't Nalia and Teo want to live for more than a human's few years? Why wouldn't they want to experience with him countless eons? Because that was against the rules. But whose? Not his.

  Maybe that was why he left the lights. Maybe it was his destiny to make Nalia and Teo immortal. Uplifted by the thought, his shoulders relaxed, his head's throbbing ceased.

  The fire and all around him blurred, his curse once more threatening to overpower him. No, he didn't want another vision, didn't want again despair and death. "Please," he murmured, gripping his mat, "Mother, don't let it happen." Images filled his mind. He saw people fighting, death after death on a field awash in blood. His stomach lurched.

  As abruptly as they'd begun, the images lost shade and vanished.

  Terrified, he reached to touch Nalia and Teo and took a breath, steadying himself. Yes, this was real.

  Were the people he'd seen in his vision also real?

  If so, why had he seen their deaths? Who were they? He knew only his mother, Nalia, and Teo.

  Was the battlefield he'd seen real?

  If so, why had he needed to be shown it? To prepare? Where was it? He knew only the island, and, thanks to Isis' rules and Teo's vigilance, he'd only once explored farther than the grasses, when, at three, he'd escaped protection, his moment of adventure ended by a scorpion's sting.

  Disdainfully, he recalled his gladness of the scorpion's venom. His mother had come to him, close to death, and healed him.

  Could Isis heal him now? Could her magic cure his affliction, eradicating his visions?

  Isis had never returned, instead issuing additional rules, relying on his obedience and Nalia's and Teo's enforcement of it, to keep him safe.

  But Seht didn't follow rules.

  And one day, if Horus hoped to confront and defeat him, if he were to have any chance of saving Nalia and Teo, he'd have to break some rules himself.

  * * * * *