by Skye Taylor
He’d never been so wrong. Or so willfully blind.
Four days without seeing or even talking to Zoe had opened his eyes. He’d been fooling himself for weeks with the fiction that he only wanted friendship. He’d tried to convince himself that what he felt for her was just lust, and lust he knew from experience would disappear once the novelty had worn off. But it wasn’t just lust or her growing pregnancy would have squashed his desire. Especially considering that he wasn’t responsible.
It had been idiotic to imply that he wouldn’t love Molly. The matter of genetics would never stop him from caring deeply for any child in his care. But Molly was Zoe’s child. He would love her for that reason alone. His claim to the contrary had been a cheap shot—the desperate shot of a coward afraid to take the chance of getting hurt again. Or maybe it was the blind panic of a man who knew he wasn’t good enough to measure up to everything Zoe believed him to be.
It was too late to tell himself not to fall in love with her. He’d been blindsided by that, too. He’d been so busy convincing himself that what he felt for Zoe was just lust and what they had going between them was friendship, that he’d totally missed the fact that she’d moved into his heart as well as his neighborhood. Somewhere between that ridiculous tea party in the twins’ tree house and putting his hand on Zoe’s belly to feel the life growing within her, he had fallen completely and irrevocably in love with the most generous, caring woman he’d ever known. She was sweet and naïve one moment, wise and down to earth the next. She was honest to a fault, funny when he least expected it, and sexy enough to drive him wild with desire. How could he have ever thought that what he felt for Zoe was nothing more than his needy libido?
And how could he tell her that now? After the awful, hurtful things he’d said? He couldn’t unsay them, and he doubted there was anything he could say now to erase the hurt he’d inflicted. He’d never be able to banish her look of shocked comprehension from his own memory either, but that was a penance he’d have to live with even if she did find the generosity to forgive him.
He didn’t know if he had any chance to mend any fences, but if he did, it had to start with an apology. He didn’t have a problem with saying he was sorry when he’d been wrong about something. But this was going to be the hardest apology he’d ever had to make.
Chapter 23
AFTER ANOTHER sleepless night, Jake dragged himself out of bed, determined to see Zoe and try to put things right between them again. He and Celia had to be at Safe Haven at one. He had a lot of paperwork to fill out, and he wanted Celia to have a chance to visit the place before it was a done deal. But surely three hours would be enough time to say what needed to be said. If only he knew where to start.
In a fog of exhaustion, he put cereal in front of the twins and downed two cups of black coffee. Celia joined them in the kitchen, but her rambling recollection about events long before Jake’s birth fortunately didn’t require any answers. After gobbling down their breakfast, the twins mumbled their excuses and disappeared out to their tree house. Then Celia got up and meandered into the den to drink her coffee in front of the television. Jake took himself back upstairs for a much-needed shower.
Finally feeling a little more pulled together, Jake made sure Ava was awake and knew he’d be out for a bit. Then he squared his shoulders and left the house.
Bill Clifford waved briefly before turning his attention back to mowing his lawn, probably trying to get it done before the heat of the day. It was only nine, and the air felt hot and sultry already. Danny sat on his front step intently assembling a balsa wood glider. The twins giggled in their tree house as Jake passed. Everyone’s life seemed to be humming along as usual. All except his own. And at least part of his gloom was self-inflicted.
Zoe had burst into his life, bringing laughter, joy, a generous spirit, and her friendship. She had accepted him just as he was, with all the baggage he possessed, giving more than she took. And she had been far more honest than he when that friendship flared into something hotter. She had let him see her desire without pretense and responded eagerly to his. Then she’d opened her heart, and he had turned away.
Jake had made a lot of stupid mistakes in his life. Mistakes he couldn’t fix. He just hoped this wasn’t going to be the worst one yet.
As he reached to open the gate between their yards, he heard Zoe’s old green truck engine crank, then sputter and turn over. He jerked to a disappointed halt at the sound of the truck being put into gear and watched her back out of her driveway. She must have seen him standing with the gate half open, because she pulled up to the curb and let the passenger side window down.
“Did you need something?” Zoe leaned awkwardly across a pile of boxes to peer out at him. “I’m dropping this stuff off for the tag sale at church. But then I’m headed to the grocery store.”
Jake shut the gate again and approached the truck. He rested his hands on the open window frame. “Um . . . No. Just . . .” He couldn’t explain himself with the truck still in gear and Zoe obviously anxious to be on her way. I’m sorry wasn’t enough, and anything else needed more time. “I’ll catch you later.”
Zoe hesitated, her head cocked to one side. Jake thought her eyes looked a little tired, as if she hadn’t been sleeping any better than he had. And there was a faintly haunted expression on her face he suspected he was responsible for. But then she smiled, and some of her usual sparkle returned. “See ya, then.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jake removed his hands from the truck door, and Zoe pulled back into the circle. A moment later the battered green truck had disappeared around the corner, and Jake was no closer to resolving the mountain of misunderstanding between them.
ZOE HADN’T returned from her shopping expedition before Jake had to leave for his appointment at Safe Haven. Feeling a confusing mix of frustration and disappointment, Jake ushered Celia to his van and left for their meeting.
The appointment included a tour of the facilities he hadn’t expected, and Celia dawdled the whole way, admiring this or commenting on that. She was especially taken with the posters of Paris and insisted on telling Jake about each. She’d read all about the sights of Paris and was eager to share her fascination. They were at Safe Haven until nearly suppertime.
By the time he got home and got all his girls settled for the evening, he had to leave for his regularly scheduled volunteer training night at the fire station. Reluctantly, Jake changed into jeans and boots and headed out again. Tomorrow he would talk to Zoe.
AS JAKE FOLLOWED his family out of St. Michael’s into the hot sunshine of the late August morning, he saw Zoe tucking flowers into the bed of her truck. She waved gaily and headed back into the church. Yet another delay, but not exactly a bad one. He’d have time to make sure Celia and the twins were fed and occupied before Zoe got home.
But ten minutes later, as he pulled into Awbrey Circle a stream of four cars followed him. They pulled up one behind the other in front of Zoe’s house. Then Zoe’s friend Bree climbed out of the lead car. A moment later, at least a dozen women had piled out of the cars and began climbing the stairs to Zoe’s porch, laden with pink, beribboned bags and boxes wrapped in baby shower paper. Jake’s heart sank.
Bree saw him and came hurrying over to explain. This was a surprise shower for Zoe. Both her sisters were here and several of her friends from work. Surprising Jake even more, Ava, who’d disappeared into the house a moment before, reappeared with a large pink and white box of her own. She’d known about the shower and never mentioned it. Or perhaps she thought he didn’t have a need to know given the week that had just passed.
Jake spent the afternoon tinkering with the engine on Zoe’s old lawnmower. He didn’t intend to let her mow her lawn anytime soon, if ever, but he needed a chore that kept him in the garage where he could keep an eye on Zoe’s house and be ready to head over the minute she was alone.
He hustled upstair
s several times to check on Celia and make sure she wasn’t instigating some new disaster he hadn’t thought to guard against. He stopped to see what the twins were up to on each trip through the house, then hurried back to the garage and his vigil.
Finally, as the afternoon turned into evening, the women began to leave. Ava dashed across the yard, frowned at Jake, then slipped into the house without a word. Zoe hugged each of her friends and sisters and then stood at the end of her walk, watching the cars pull away from the curb. She was beaming from ear to ear, but even from his garage, Jake could see the exhaustion in her body.
Perhaps tonight was not a good night to explain what an idiot he was.
Zoe turned and trudged up the stairs to her house. Jake hovered in the doorway to his garage, uncertain what to do next. As he stood there, torn with indecision, another car turned in past the old gateposts and slowed.
The silver BMW convertible crept around the circle as if the handsome, black-haired driver wasn’t sure which of the three houses he was looking for. Then he stopped in front of Zoe’s house.
The man sat gazing up at the house for a moment before climbing from the car. He hesitated at the end of Zoe’s walk. Jake decided he should go over and find out who the new arrival was, but before he got the oil wiped off his hands, the man strode confidently toward the stairs.
He was tall—at least as tall as Jake, maybe taller. Dressed in sharply-creased trousers and a fine-knit, baby blue sweater with a beige linen jacket, the man looked like a model for a higher class of clothing than Jake had ever owned.
The man knocked on Zoe’s door, and a moment later Zoe appeared. A look of total astonishment lit her features. One of Zoe’s brothers? The man said something, and in another moment, Zoe pushed the door wider to let him enter. The last thing Jake saw before the door closed again was the man slipping one arm about Zoe’s shoulders and then bending to kiss her on the mouth.
Pain sliced into Jake with the force of a blow to the solar plexus. Brothers didn’t kiss their sisters on the mouth. But lovers did. This man with the confidant assurance of Zoe’s welcome had to be Molly’s father. But why, after ignoring her for most of her pregnancy, was he here now?
Chapter 24
ZOE SHUT THE front door with more force than she intended and ducked out of Porter Dubois’ unwanted embrace. Porter looked as handsome as ever. His raven-black hair had been recently trimmed by a stylist rather than a barber, and the expensive blue sweater matched his eyes to perfection.
But neither the sleek black hair nor the sky blue eyes affected her as they once had. A fleeting vision of overgrown, sun-streaked hair and warm gray eyes flickered through Zoe’s mind, making Porter’s carefully cultivated appearance seem conceited and too perfect to be real.
“What do you want?” Zoe wished the dogs hadn’t been put out in the back yard during the baby shower. She could have used a little moral support. It would have been especially satisfying considering Porter’s distaste for animals in the house.
Undaunted by her refusal to return his kiss or warm to his casual overture, Porter smiled at Zoe with maddeningly arrogant familiarity.
“Nice place you have here. Nice location anyway. House could use a little work, but the view of the Intracoastal is impressive. Does the property include waterfront?”
“What do you want?” Zoe repeated, ignoring his assessment of her home.
“I’ve come to my senses. That baby”—he glanced briefly at her bulging belly, then back at her face—“is mine, and I’ve come to offer the proposal I should have made months ago.”
“Why?” Zoe was floored by his effrontery.
“I should have thought why was a given. We had sex. You got pregnant. I take responsibility.”
“Why now?” What happened to change his mind?
“Better late than never, wouldn’t you say?”
Zoe backed away from his confidant overwhelming closeness. “What did my father offer you?”
Porter raised his perfect eyebrows. “Why do you think your father has anything to do with it?”
“Because a few months ago you were pretty eloquent about what your plans were for your life, and they didn’t include a baby. Or even a wife, if I recall.” It had certainly taken her father long enough to accept the fact that she was going to go through with keeping her baby and raise it with or without his support and approval. “I’m sure it’s occurred to Dad that if my baby is a bastard it won’t do his image any good.”
The earnest smile on Porter’s face didn’t falter. “You can’t blame him. He’s chairman of the Encourage Abstinence movement in the Wilmington school system, and he’s a prominent member of the community with the reputation of a dedicated family man. But what helps your father’s reputation or not isn’t my concern here. Our child is.”
“You told me you would sue me for entrapment if I told everyone you were the father of my baby.” Instinctively, Zoe cradled her stomach with both hands. She was having trouble comprehending Porter’s about-face. As if Molly also had a problem believing her father’s change of heart, she squirmed in Zoe’s womb.
“I was wrong.” Porter actually managed to look abashed. Zoe had never seen that expression on his face before, and it pierced her carefully constructed defenses.
“Wrong about what, Porter? The abortion or the entrapment?” She struggled to maintain her air of aloof contempt.
“Look, Zoe. We need to talk. Can’t we do it somewhere more comfortable than your front hall?”
Reluctantly, Zoe backed into the living room, still littered with pink wrapping paper and piles of tiny baby garments. She pushed aside the new car seat and carrier combo and sank onto the couch. Porter lowered himself gracefully into a slip-covered easy chair and rested his elbows on his stylishly clad knees, paying no apparent attention to the disarray around him.
“I understand why you doubt my sincerity. I gave you good reason for such reservations, but I’m over it now. I just needed some time to work through things. This isn’t about your father. It’s about doing what’s right. I still care about you, and our baby needs a father. I can provide things you can’t. Don’t you think you owe it to our child to at least consider my proposal?”
“I don’t even know what your proposal is yet, do I?”
Appealing to her desire for the best her child could have in life was a smart move. Zoe couldn’t tell if it was a calculated one or if Porter really meant it.
“I thought a proposal between a man and a woman, especially with a baby on the way, usually involved marriage.” Porter reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small satin-covered jeweler’s box. He flipped it open to reveal a stunning princess-cut diamond that sparkled brilliantly in the brightly lit room.
Zoe sucked in her breath in astonishment. She jerked her gaze from the ring to Porter’s face and caught him looking at her with a bemused, almost boyish expression.
“Did you want me to go down on one knee? I can do that if you’d like. It’s not really my style, and I know how you hate hypocrisy, but . . .” Porter reached for her hand.
Zoe pulled back. So many conflicting emotions raged through her, she couldn’t think straight. Maybe she did owe it to Molly to give her legitimacy. Maybe Porter really did care. The ring was gorgeous! But what if her father had twisted Porter’s arm? Even more important, could she possibly agree to this, knowing she loved someone else?
“I—I need time to think.”
Porter set the box on the table next to his chair and leaned across the gap separating them. “Of course, you do. We’ve waited this long. Another day or two won’t hurt.”
Zoe stared at the ring glittering in its box. She felt trapped and uncertain.
Porter put a bent finger under Zoe’s chin and turned her gaze away from the ring and toward his handsome, earnest face. “I’m asking you to marry
me and let me take care of you. We were good together, and we can be good again. And our baby . . .” He shot a quick glance around him and then looked back into her eyes. “Our little girl will have two parents to care for her. Take whatever time you need to decide. But think about what you owe our daughter. And me. And your father, of course.”
Porter stood with easy grace. Then he bent, cupped her chin in one hand, and lowered his head to hers. Zoe meant to turn her face away, but for some reason, she didn’t. Porter’s kiss was brief, at first, then swiftly warmer, and suddenly suggestive. Zoe jerked back.
After a moment, Porter straightened, turned, and walked out to the hall.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Then he let himself out.
Chapter 25
JAKE STOOD ON his porch, gazing toward Zoe’s house. He’d showered and changed into a clean pair of cargo shorts, shoved a pizza in the oven for Ava and the twins, and made a salad for Celia. He hadn’t felt much like eating anything himself, so he’d come out into the soft evening air to reconsider his options regarding Zoe.
The expensive car still squatted pretentiously in front of Zoe’s house. Jake stewed impotently. Was the man planning to stay all night? A streak of hellish jealousy blazed through Jake’s veins. Zoe had told Jake quite matter-of-factly, that her baby’s father didn’t love her. So what was he doing here now? Maybe this guy wasn’t her former lover. But the memory of that casual kiss taunted Jake.
It was the kiss of a man totally confident that his embrace would be welcome. The casual kind of greeting a man gives a woman he’s been intimate with. A sick mixture of disappointment, loss, and resentment roiled in Jake’s gut. He’d finally realized what he’d jeopardized with cutting words and the stubborn refusal to listen to his heart. And now he might never get the opportunity to redeem himself or convince Zoe to give him another chance.
